What you described is indistinguishable from a vampire attack until the last possible moment so imo that person is lucky you did not defend yourself with your combat rosary
I did make sure to eat plenty of garlic before the next kiss, just to be on the safe side
When I was in college, I wound up having lunch with a cute, funny, and incredibly smart redheaded girl twice a week. We'd always meet up in the underground food court near the dorms, BS about classes for a while, and do the usual gossip about our respective friend groups, then head off to class. One day, she tells me that she already had some leftovers in her dorm she was going to heat up, but that I could grab some food and come over to her place to eat.
I figure that's fine, we've been hanging out for a while and we're good enough friends to relax in the dorms. So I bring my shitty chicken strips over to her dorm and we munch on food like normal. She then informs me she had gotten a Where's Waldo book and we should compete to see who can find him first. So we sit right next to each other on her couch and pore over the pages; I'm usually the first one to find Waldo, and every time I find him she moves the book a little further away from me, forcing me to lean in closer and closer to her on subsequent pages. She even jabs me a little bit about why I was getting physical, and I informed her (very truthfully!) I was just trying to keep finding Waldo. Eventually, we get kind of bored of it after I get on a hot streak of finding Waldo super quickly and I head out. After that, the lunches kind of faded off.
With the benefit of hindsight years later, and long after I've lost contact with her, I realized that while I am very good at spotting Waldo, I am very very bad at spotting signals.
A girl I had a crush on once pulled me into her bed and put her tongue in my mouth. A couple of weeks later she very frustratedly explained like one would to a child that she was into me and that I should have taken that as a hint.
A girl I had a huge crush on in High School 'dated' my best friend, who was openly gay, for awhile. When they 'broke up' he told me she talked about me a lot and I should ask her out. But she was popular, and pretty, and cool? She also joined Drama Club, which I was in, and I thought that was weird, and she use to come to all the band performances and stuff.
Anyway finally Senior year, after graduation, I had it spelled out to me like the moron I am that these were all things to get closer to me, and my friends were all in on it and I was like "Instead of being coy you guys could have explained it to me, the dumbest asshole alive"
CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
I am generally not posting new 50 Tea Recipes from the Duchess episodes here until my posts have "caught up", but a character was this guy in the most recent chapter and honestly I think I'm madder about that than about the fact that he's trying to hit on a married woman.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
I imagine I am awful at picking up on signals but also nobody has ever tried to give me signals.
Unless you count standing perfectly still whenever I enter a room to try and go unseen due to my movement based eyesight or shoving their friends to the ground and sprinting out the door as a signal
Only signals I've ever gotten that someone might be interested in me was high school, when a group of girls would come find me sitting in an alcove next to the library (often closed because funds were reserved for a terrible football team) and ask about what I was reading. I'd tell them, they'd ask what it's about, I'd read off the back cover or summarize if I was far enough in, and this small talk would last for about five minutes or so before they said bye and left while I got back to reading. This happened about two or three times.
Granted even if I'd realized at the time they were signaling something I'd have still done the same routine because even back then I had no interest in that type of interaction.
If anyone ever gave me a signal and I missed it, I still miss it now because I can't think of any times.
When I was a teen, a girl came up to me to ask me out. I turned her down... because this was, to my knowledge, the first interaction we had. Also before that another girl took a fry off of me without my consent.
Also there was that one time a girl asked me if I was in a relationship, to which I answered that I wasn't interested in relationships. The despairing tone with which she asked "Why not?" haunt me to this day.
I read the signals; I see the signs. I just didn't reciprocate.
Only signals I've ever gotten that someone might be interested in me was high school, when a group of girls would come find me sitting in an alcove next to the library (often closed because funds were reserved for a terrible football team) and ask about what I was reading. I'd tell them, they'd ask what it's about, I'd read off the back cover or summarize if I was far enough in, and this small talk would last for about five minutes or so before they said bye and left while I got back to reading. This happened about two or three times.
Granted even if I'd realized at the time they were signaling something I'd have still done the same routine because even back then I had no interest in that type of interaction.
I had a girl really persistently ask me what I was reading during lunch. It's funny to realize now but at the time I thought she "Felt sorry for me" and was asking me questions because she thought I was lonely, when I was just really into my book and wanted to be left alone. Now I realize she probably wanted to be friends with me for her sake, not mine. Like maybe she saw a girl reading by herself and thought "someone who likes to read just like me! I could make my first friend right now!" God I was a dumb shit as a kid.
My moments of realizing later that someone might have been romantically interested in me are:
- In highschool, two tall black kids started walking next to me, and one said, "my friend likes you, what do you think?" I got really embarrassed and assumed I was being bullied. The other guy tried to dissuade his friend from saying anything else. Note: I've always found black guys attractive and assumed there was nothing about me that was attractive in high school. It wasn't until much, much later that I realized some people like a girl with a larger-than-average butt. Though I had zero sense of style back then so I'm still on the fence as to whether this was a genuine (if poorly thought-out) attempt at romance or a prank. I never saw these kids after this incident, I didn't have any classes with them. It seemed too abrupt for two guys who had never spoken with me before! However, once I moved to a larger city with a much larger percentage of POC, I've had a lot of brothers approach me on the street to ask me out - just when I was out grocery shopping and shit, not at a bar or anything (before I started wearing a wedding band and a big honking gem that's easy to see from a distance). So maybe it wasn't a prank, maybe that's just how that teenager thought it was done! But also I started dressing so much better once I moved, so I'm still not sure.
- In college, I would go to barnes and noble and hang out in the manga and sci fi sections, picking books to read and sometimes sitting down to read them since I couldn't afford to buy. Once in the sci fi section, a dude walks up to me and says, "do you read a lot of sci-fi?" to which I said "not really" and walked away. Now I feel bad, I had no idea that was an attempt at flirting.
Creepy version:
Once in high school, I was at different bookstore, called Hastings (I don't think the franchise still exists). An old man started talking to me and I didn't want to be rude so I kept talking with him. I really wanted to escape several times because I am awkward with people (much more so then) and being around a stranger for too long is tiring. I ended up telling him I was in band, that I play clarinet, and that if I owned one I could play sax, too, it would just take some practice to adjust to the differences. He offered to buy me a sax (an offer I didn't believe). The creepy part was that during this conversation he told me how he lost his virginity. I will say dumb 16 year old me was tempted by his offer to buy me a musical instrument, because I wanted to own all the musical instruments back then. But I simply didn't believe he could be serious, and was too naive to read the sexual implications of a costly gift like that from an old codger who thought his sex life was an appropriate topic of conversation with a minor.
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
If anyone ever gave me a signal and I missed it, I still miss it now because I can't think of any times.
I have had signals pointed out to me in hindsight and I just go
"Nah man. Can't be."
I've been married for 12 years now and have been together with her even longer, and I still secretly don't believe that my wife or anyone else actually loves or even likes me lol
A girl I had a crush on once pulled me into her bed and put her tongue in my mouth. A couple of weeks later she very frustratedly explained like one would to a child that she was into me and that I should have taken that as a hint.
Ok, so milski's story is agonizingly frustrating to read, but this is just like... bad sitcom stuff? Absolutely no offense meant, but it just doesn't elicit any emotional response from me because of how unbelievable it is.
On the other hand I'd probably be thrilled to know what you thought was happening rather than her being into you.
A girl I had a crush on once pulled me into her bed and put her tongue in my mouth. A couple of weeks later she very frustratedly explained like one would to a child that she was into me and that I should have taken that as a hint.
Ok, so milski's story is agonizingly frustrating to read, but this is just like... bad sitcom stuff? Absolutely no offense meant, but it just doesn't elicit any emotional response from me because of how unbelievable it is.
On the other hand I'd probably be thrilled to know what you thought was happening rather than her being into you.
Well I can't speak for everyone, but after the first few times I found out a girl talking to me/giving me her number/asking me out were for a dare or a shitty joke, I just sort of started to assume most interactions with ladies outside my immediate friend circle were for those reasons.
Ah yes, those heady days where every time someone wanted to talk to me at school I had to wonder what their angle was because I'd been burned so often before I needed metaphorical full-body skin grafts. I do not miss those times at all.
Of course now I just don't socialize at all offline except at PAX South or family occasions so maybe those burns never really healed but no one's around to poke them for me to find out.
A girl I had a crush on once pulled me into her bed and put her tongue in my mouth. A couple of weeks later she very frustratedly explained like one would to a child that she was into me and that I should have taken that as a hint.
Ok, so milski's story is agonizingly frustrating to read, but this is just like... bad sitcom stuff? Absolutely no offense meant, but it just doesn't elicit any emotional response from me because of how unbelievable it is.
On the other hand I'd probably be thrilled to know what you thought was happening rather than her being into you.
Well I can't speak for everyone, but after the first few times I found out a girl talking to me/giving me her number/asking me out were for a dare or a shitty joke, I just sort of started to assume most interactions with ladies outside my immediate friend circle were for those reasons.
I heard about this sort of thing as a kid before it ever happened, so when someone would say so and so likes me I'd just say "That's her problem." It was a damned catch phrase for awhile.
A girl I had a crush on once pulled me into her bed and put her tongue in my mouth. A couple of weeks later she very frustratedly explained like one would to a child that she was into me and that I should have taken that as a hint.
Ok, so milski's story is agonizingly frustrating to read, but this is just like... bad sitcom stuff? Absolutely no offense meant, but it just doesn't elicit any emotional response from me because of how unbelievable it is.
On the other hand I'd probably be thrilled to know what you thought was happening rather than her being into you.
I mean I didn't post it to elicit any emotional response other than maybe get a few chuckles out of you all
I did exaggerate a couple of details to enhance the comedy. It was less pulled and more that we were hugging and she fell over backwards onto the bed bringing me with her. She didn't stick her tongue in my mouth but her bottom lip
I just have cripplingly low self esteem. It was far more likely that I must have forced the kiss myself than someone being into me. I pretty much just made an excuse and left immediately out of guilt rather than talk about it. Lesson learned I suppose.
We only dated for a few months as it happens. This was over a decade ago and we're still good mates now. While the lockdown continues we've been making good on our plans to walk the entire english coast, a lofty and exhausting goal
Alternative remark, I assume this comic is a reference to Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 wherein Paul Blart (Jagganoth) punches an elderly housekeeper (Mammon) in the stomach
Alternative remark, I assume this comic is a reference to Paul Blart Mall Cop 2 wherein Paul Blart (Jagganoth) punches an elderly housekeeper (Mammon) in the stomach
"Unlike Paul Blart, someday you'll die."
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
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AbsalonLands of Always WinterRegistered Userregular
Posts
I did make sure to eat plenty of garlic before the next kiss, just to be on the safe side
When I was in college, I wound up having lunch with a cute, funny, and incredibly smart redheaded girl twice a week. We'd always meet up in the underground food court near the dorms, BS about classes for a while, and do the usual gossip about our respective friend groups, then head off to class. One day, she tells me that she already had some leftovers in her dorm she was going to heat up, but that I could grab some food and come over to her place to eat.
I figure that's fine, we've been hanging out for a while and we're good enough friends to relax in the dorms. So I bring my shitty chicken strips over to her dorm and we munch on food like normal. She then informs me she had gotten a Where's Waldo book and we should compete to see who can find him first. So we sit right next to each other on her couch and pore over the pages; I'm usually the first one to find Waldo, and every time I find him she moves the book a little further away from me, forcing me to lean in closer and closer to her on subsequent pages. She even jabs me a little bit about why I was getting physical, and I informed her (very truthfully!) I was just trying to keep finding Waldo. Eventually, we get kind of bored of it after I get on a hot streak of finding Waldo super quickly and I head out. After that, the lunches kind of faded off.
With the benefit of hindsight years later, and long after I've lost contact with her, I realized that while I am very good at spotting Waldo, I am very very bad at spotting signals.
Tiger, Tiger
A girl I had a huge crush on in High School 'dated' my best friend, who was openly gay, for awhile. When they 'broke up' he told me she talked about me a lot and I should ask her out. But she was popular, and pretty, and cool? She also joined Drama Club, which I was in, and I thought that was weird, and she use to come to all the band performances and stuff.
Anyway finally Senior year, after graduation, I had it spelled out to me like the moron I am that these were all things to get closer to me, and my friends were all in on it and I was like "Instead of being coy you guys could have explained it to me, the dumbest asshole alive"
Unless you count standing perfectly still whenever I enter a room to try and go unseen due to my movement based eyesight or shoving their friends to the ground and sprinting out the door as a signal
I have had signals pointed out to me in hindsight and I just go
"Nah man. Can't be."
Granted even if I'd realized at the time they were signaling something I'd have still done the same routine because even back then I had no interest in that type of interaction.
When I was a teen, a girl came up to me to ask me out. I turned her down... because this was, to my knowledge, the first interaction we had. Also before that another girl took a fry off of me without my consent.
Also there was that one time a girl asked me if I was in a relationship, to which I answered that I wasn't interested in relationships. The despairing tone with which she asked "Why not?" haunt me to this day.
I read the signals; I see the signs. I just didn't reciprocate.
I had a girl really persistently ask me what I was reading during lunch. It's funny to realize now but at the time I thought she "Felt sorry for me" and was asking me questions because she thought I was lonely, when I was just really into my book and wanted to be left alone. Now I realize she probably wanted to be friends with me for her sake, not mine. Like maybe she saw a girl reading by herself and thought "someone who likes to read just like me! I could make my first friend right now!" God I was a dumb shit as a kid.
My moments of realizing later that someone might have been romantically interested in me are:
- In highschool, two tall black kids started walking next to me, and one said, "my friend likes you, what do you think?" I got really embarrassed and assumed I was being bullied. The other guy tried to dissuade his friend from saying anything else. Note: I've always found black guys attractive and assumed there was nothing about me that was attractive in high school. It wasn't until much, much later that I realized some people like a girl with a larger-than-average butt. Though I had zero sense of style back then so I'm still on the fence as to whether this was a genuine (if poorly thought-out) attempt at romance or a prank. I never saw these kids after this incident, I didn't have any classes with them. It seemed too abrupt for two guys who had never spoken with me before! However, once I moved to a larger city with a much larger percentage of POC, I've had a lot of brothers approach me on the street to ask me out - just when I was out grocery shopping and shit, not at a bar or anything (before I started wearing a wedding band and a big honking gem that's easy to see from a distance). So maybe it wasn't a prank, maybe that's just how that teenager thought it was done! But also I started dressing so much better once I moved, so I'm still not sure.
- In college, I would go to barnes and noble and hang out in the manga and sci fi sections, picking books to read and sometimes sitting down to read them since I couldn't afford to buy. Once in the sci fi section, a dude walks up to me and says, "do you read a lot of sci-fi?" to which I said "not really" and walked away. Now I feel bad, I had no idea that was an attempt at flirting.
Creepy version:
Once in high school, I was at different bookstore, called Hastings (I don't think the franchise still exists). An old man started talking to me and I didn't want to be rude so I kept talking with him. I really wanted to escape several times because I am awkward with people (much more so then) and being around a stranger for too long is tiring. I ended up telling him I was in band, that I play clarinet, and that if I owned one I could play sax, too, it would just take some practice to adjust to the differences. He offered to buy me a sax (an offer I didn't believe). The creepy part was that during this conversation he told me how he lost his virginity. I will say dumb 16 year old me was tempted by his offer to buy me a musical instrument, because I wanted to own all the musical instruments back then. But I simply didn't believe he could be serious, and was too naive to read the sexual implications of a costly gift like that from an old codger who thought his sex life was an appropriate topic of conversation with a minor.
I've been married for 12 years now and have been together with her even longer, and I still secretly don't believe that my wife or anyone else actually loves or even likes me lol
Ok, so milski's story is agonizingly frustrating to read, but this is just like... bad sitcom stuff? Absolutely no offense meant, but it just doesn't elicit any emotional response from me because of how unbelievable it is.
On the other hand I'd probably be thrilled to know what you thought was happening rather than her being into you.
Well I can't speak for everyone, but after the first few times I found out a girl talking to me/giving me her number/asking me out were for a dare or a shitty joke, I just sort of started to assume most interactions with ladies outside my immediate friend circle were for those reasons.
Of course now I just don't socialize at all offline except at PAX South or family occasions so maybe those burns never really healed but no one's around to poke them for me to find out.
I heard about this sort of thing as a kid before it ever happened, so when someone would say so and so likes me I'd just say "That's her problem." It was a damned catch phrase for awhile.
Sometimes life is just like the movies. Its just never the cool ones.
xkcd
I mean I didn't post it to elicit any emotional response other than maybe get a few chuckles out of you all
I did exaggerate a couple of details to enhance the comedy. It was less pulled and more that we were hugging and she fell over backwards onto the bed bringing me with her. She didn't stick her tongue in my mouth but her bottom lip
I just have cripplingly low self esteem. It was far more likely that I must have forced the kiss myself than someone being into me. I pretty much just made an excuse and left immediately out of guilt rather than talk about it. Lesson learned I suppose.
We only dated for a few months as it happens. This was over a decade ago and we're still good mates now. While the lockdown continues we've been making good on our plans to walk the entire english coast, a lofty and exhausting goal
Ozzie the Vampire
Seattle chill denied me opportunities to brute force my way through
http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=16534
Steam // Secret Satan
I'm sure White-Alli-Cio totally have this. They're like 13 feet tall!
"Partly cloudy with an increasing chance of 'rocks fall, everyone dies'."
Steam // Secret Satan
"Unlike Paul Blart, someday you'll die."
Today in Latchkey Kingdom: hexplanations.
I still think about Vinnie
http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=16534
I was going to do a quip regarding K6BD but @Hobnail hobnailed it for me.
Anyway, read all of Buttercup Festival.
Dumbing of Age
Skin Horse