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    tachyontachyon Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    McDonalds (High School Days): Quit, joined the Air Force

    Air Force: Got medical boarded over asthma (7 years in, no problems. Went off to a hockey scrimmage, had hard time breathing, figured I was sick/out of shape. Cough never went away, got sent to Bethesda. A year later I'm better, but due to the AF being 15,000 over it Congressional limit, I got the boot)

    Department of State (Northrop Grumman): Quit, new job out of the Air Force had travel requirement. (I took this job as a second job when the wife was pregnant and could no longer work.)

    Missile Defense Agency [Information Assurance Engineer]: Got canned. Really, budget cut hit, and my team was axed. (Made me feel better that pretty much everyone was pissed/confused.)


    So, not a bad track record. Every place I quit was in an amiable fashion. My last day at MDA is this Friday. I forgot how draining interviewing can be.

    tachyon on
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    TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    This is not the first job I've been let go from, but damn, this shit was abrupt.

    Tonkka on
    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! Twitch?! HEY SATAN Shirts and such
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I got fired/forced out from one job because I hired someone I DIDN'T want to hire and she was a gigantic cunt and got a promotion above me because she "Had more experience." The fact she was mostly a goddamn useless tester and a worthless manager? Apparently irrelevant.

    Currently I am: Laughing my ass off because the company is going nowhere and is shedding talent AND I'm in school to become a dev and will soon laugh my ass off at the stupid bitch stuck in QA at a small company because she wouldn't last anywhere else.

    Fuck you, Helga.

    neville on
    nevillexmassig1.png
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    tomorrow i start my new job

    i am working for american express

    would you guys like credit cards

    i am your hook-up

    Pony on
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    BarcardiBarcardi All the Wizards Under A Rock: AfganistanRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    hey cool the daily show is back on

    Barcardi on
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    nevilleneville The Worst Gay (Seriously. The Worst!)Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    tomorrow i start my new job

    i am working for american express

    would you guys like credit cards

    i am your hook-up

    I've got enough to manage. :P

    neville on
    nevillexmassig1.png
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    Agent VesagoAgent Vesago Half Iago. Half Fu Manchu. All Bastard. Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I got "involuntarily separated" from a job because I owned up to a mistake instead of trying to move the blame to someone else. The other two people who were also responsible let me take the hit instead of speaking up.
    It turned out better for me anyways, I've got a job with growth potential while they will have gone nowhere.

    Still, teaches me to never ever own up to my mistakes again.

    Agent Vesago on
    Clowns.jpg
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    IpseDixitIpseDixit Treat me like a pirate And give me that bootyRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Never been fired. I was let go from my first job though because they hired too many people. Whoops. It was just boring office bitch work anyways (photocopy this, now put those photocopies in these envelopes, take this info and put it into a spreadsheet).

    Other than that I worked a temp job as a file clerk at a doctors office. Nice coworkers, but it was an oncology office. Filing medical documents for people with terminal cancer? Not exactly an uplifting job.

    Now I'm working at a pizza place in the kitchen, and at a non-profit organization as a marketing intern who never left after school ended. At least I'm getting paid now.

    Currently looking for a full time job, hopefully in marketing or financing (preferably international financing because fuck the US markets right now). I'v also applied to the JET Program to teach English in Japan, but who knows if that will work out.

    Anyone in need of a young intelligent person with office and marketing experience and a bachelors in Economics?

    IpseDixit on
    ipsesignew.jpg
    Flickr - PSN ID - IamTetsuo - Steam
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    tardcoretardcore Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    tomorrow i start my new job

    i am working for american express

    would you guys like credit cards

    i am your hook-up

    fuck those high interest rates.

    tardcore on
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    chainsaw willychainsaw willy Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    When I was 17 my friend Elisa got me a job in the deli where she worked. On my second day working Elisa says to me "hey, lets go smoke some pot in the cooler, we do it all the time the fan just takes the smoke away" So we are in the cooler smoking weed and suddenly the door opens. We both just freeze and stare at our supervisor who stares back at us. Elisa somehow talked her into letting us keep our jobs and nothing was said about it ever again. I only told you this story because the reason I got fired was for a much less severe reason. It was was pretty well known fact around the store that if you were an employee we would discount your sandwich or wings or whatever. So one day I discount some potato wedges for my friend Dave. The 60 year old lady who works the same cart sees this and tells the owner. About 10 minutes later he calls both Dave and I into his office and tells us that we are fired, but he expects us to finish our shift. I told him hell no and threw my apron and hat on his desk, Bryce however went back to the bakery. Now I thought he intended to finish his shift but as I am pulling out of my parking spot I see a rack of bread dough in pans about 6 feet tall rolling out the front doors of the store and into the parking lot followed by Dave running from the owner who saw this from the front of the store.

    Funniest last moments at a job I have ever had.

    chainsaw willy on
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    TaramoorTaramoor Storyteller Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Jobs held-

    Various crap high school jobs - Working at concession stands, lifting and moving rugs, warehouse work. Not bad. Not good, either.

    Target - Overnight Stock. Really nice manager, good overnight pay, got to unload the truck several times which is actually a really nice four-hour workout. Worked from 10pm to 6am or something ungodly like that. Fun job because it was just mindless physical labor and object matching. Windex goes here, plastic wrap goes here, etc. Didn't have to talk to anybody since they all spoke spanish, just did my job, ate my hungry man microwaveable dinner, and went home. Manager also held weekly drawings, winners got to pick a dvd from the electronics section. Pretty cool.

    Current position: Contract employee for Microsoft Games. QA Testing. Very laid back most of the time, nice bosses, more mindless tedium, but I'm probably one of the best on my floor at it. Routinely recieve free games and goodies just for showing up. All the soda and juice I can drink. Only problem is I have to take 100 days off every 12 months. However, unemployment pay is almost as much as I make at the job itself, so I don't worry about it too much. Will be entering year four pretty soon.

    I've never had an evil manager or a really terrible job. Though I'm sure that will change since I plan to apply at some retail stores for my 100 day break.

    Taramoor on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I should show you guys my resume

    it's pretty hilarious

    i make packin' groceries and workin' a customer service desk into such a big deal

    spin is everything

    Pony on
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    tardcoretardcore Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Up it mane.

    tardcore on
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    DakalDakal Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    I should show you guys my resume

    it's pretty hilarious

    i make packin' groceries and workin' a customer service desk into such a big deal

    spin is everything

    I would like to see your resume. I need to learn how to spin my experience into something awesomely glorious.

    Dakal on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    i have no idea how i can upload a .doc file or where to upload it to

    i am thinking i might just copy it into photoshop and make an image of it and photobucket

    y/n?

    Pony on
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    DakalDakal Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Yes.

    Dakal on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Here is it.

    Photoshop did funky shit to my format

    The words are more important.

    Pony on
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    Agent VesagoAgent Vesago Half Iago. Half Fu Manchu. All Bastard. Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    My resume is a mess of technical jargon which basically means "sat on my ass and watched multiple monitors".

    Agent Vesago on
    Clowns.jpg
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    DakalDakal Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I havent held a job for more than 9 months. My work experience is like... 4 months every summer between semesters. Looks good though, using words like Diagnose and Rectify.

    Dakal on
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    PonyPony Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    yeah

    wording is everything

    stuff like not repeating phrases

    and fancying up your vocab

    Pony on
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    scarlet st.scarlet st. Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Tonkka wrote: »
    Ever been flat out fired for fucking up royally?

    You guys remember that picture of me with all the vomit on my hair and face and shit? Well, I slept off the hangover and missed my shift at a tea bar. I was supposed to open that day.
    Got fired.

    Whatever.

    scarlet st. on
    japsig.jpg
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    DefenderDefender Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    Here is it.

    Photoshop did funky shit to my format

    The words are more important.

    Whoa you have your real name and everything on there.

    What's OSSD?

    Defender on
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    DakalDakal Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Ontario Secondary School Diploma

    Dakal on
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    KhavallKhavall British ColumbiaRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    My resume is so damn long, since I include every gig on it, and my longest gigs are maybe one-year things. So for every year I have maybe 8-10 new jobs I can slam on my resume.

    Khavall on
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    lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Is this the Pimp My Resume, dick waving thread now?

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
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    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    The only time I've been fired, my boss openly admitted that she couldn't deny how good a job I had done with my students, and that she was very sorry for having to let me go.


    I took this to mean I was being fired because I was too fucking awesome for that shit hole.

    sarukun on
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    WezoinWezoin Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    So good news for the 0 of you that care!

    I didn't get fired!

    Apparently because of the power outage on friday something went crazy with the register and it charged a $276 purchase from friday to saturday instead. (I know for a fact that that is impossible with the double checking and whatnot I did, but hey if my boss wants to remove any blame by using false reasoning, more power to her)

    Wezoin on
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    RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited January 2008
    Tonkka wrote: »
    Ever been flat out fired for fucking up royally?

    You guys remember that picture of me with all the vomit on my hair and face and shit? Well, I slept off the hangover and missed my shift at a tea bar. I was supposed to open that day.
    Got fired.

    Whatever.

    what picture is this you speak of?

    Rankenphile on
    8406wWN.png
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited January 2008
    Has anyone mentioned Matthew Lesko in this thread yet?

    Because that's what the title made me think of.

    The Geek on
    BLM - ACAB
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    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Pony wrote: »
    i have no idea how i can upload a .doc file or where to upload it to

    i am thinking i might just copy it into photoshop and make an image of it and photobucket

    y/n?

    If you sign up for a yahoo account they give you 30 megs of webspace

    nothing substantial, but it's been enough for me to keep every kind of paper or writing assignment since the tenth grade.

    Javen on
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    GoogleDocs allows you to import stuff as well, though it can be kinda hinky with WordPerfect formatting

    Abracadaniel on
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    ZombotZombot Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Dude Pony, I don't know about that.
    You might want to take your address off it for the sake of posting it on the internet.

    Zombot on
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    RageRage Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Man, Tonkka :( sad faces, brother


    In my illustrious career so far:

    - First year at MS, the company had finally wrapped litigation over the lawsuit brought on by contract workers and how they were being treated horribly for years. Sounds great, but to appease the courts, MS instituted a "100 day break in service" - basically, after 1 year of contracting, you had to take a lay-off and could not work for any MS-related business for 3+ months. We shipped Windows 2000 and 2 months later, bang - every one on my team save 1 SDET got laid off...some of those guys had been there since the Win95 days :(

    - Riverdeep - The Learning Company: Came on as a QA lead on a 6 month contract, and was hired full-time in less than a month. Moved up to project manager, and Riverdeep purchased The Learning Company from Broderbund...we all thought yay, this is great! More IP, more money, offices in California!

    Not so. Within 6 months of the merger, corporate announced that they were horribly in the red and stakeholders were pissed, so they closed the entire Redmond development house (the former Edmark before IBM sold it to the Riverdeep people in Ireland.) Layoff #2, but this time with a severance package.

    - Atari N. America: After a couple short-term contract gigs at Real Networks and Microsoft, a poker buddy and at the time, director of IT and Support for all of Atari said he wanted me onboard there. I figured Ok, working for a game publisher could be kind of fun, so I gave it a shot. Worked up to management and tech trainer for the entire group. 2 days short of my one-year anniversary there, we all got our pink slips - Atari was in the red and was "consolidating resources", meaning they were selling off their IP, and moving whatever was left to their New York offices. That 2 days meant that I got shorted 6 weeks' worth of severance and vacation time. :|

    Rage on
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    tardcoretardcore Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    I hit the dictionary for my resume. After revising it, I just received three calls today for interviews.

    tardcore on
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    SheriSheri Resident Fluffer My Living RoomRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    GoogleDocs allows you to import stuff as well, though it can be kinda hinky with WordPerfect formatting

    Hinky?

    Sheri on
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    tardcoretardcore Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Of the rinky dinky persuasion.

    tardcore on
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    Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    edited January 2008
    pony is hoping some people try to come to his house and start some shit

    Kuribo's Shoe on
    xmassig2.gif
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    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    tardcore wrote: »
    Of the rinky dinky persuasion.

    kinky

    Javen on
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    AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Sheri wrote: »
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    GoogleDocs allows you to import stuff as well, though it can be kinda hinky with WordPerfect formatting

    Hinky?

    I SAID WHAT I SAID

    Abracadaniel on
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    JavenJaven Registered User regular
    edited January 2008
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    Sheri wrote: »
    Dumb Hero wrote: »
    GoogleDocs allows you to import stuff as well, though it can be kinda hinky with WordPerfect formatting

    Hinky?

    I SAID WHAT I SAID

    jinkies

    Javen on
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