As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/

Terrible Sex

15860626364

Posts

  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I don't know where to put this but wow one of my friends just got engaged to a guy she's known for a month

    my reaction so far is shock

    this is the only reaction

    and she was totally on my side (the side of reason) last year when my brother got engaged and I was freaking out about his being too young!

    question: is she pregnant?

    follow-up question: when is the baby due?

    satansfingers on
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    To Slip Away, what was the name of your redhead? I gotta know we didn't fuck the same girl.
    Gia.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • bowtiedsealbowtiedseal Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    she's vehemently anti-children

    bowtiedseal on
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    To Slip Away, what was the name of your redhead? I gotta know we didn't fuck the same girl.
    Gia.

    Ah. Thank god.

    RocketSauce on
  • DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Dadouw wrote: »
    If I ever get custody of them again, I don't think I could teach them that, it would be highly inappropriate.

    Oh, custody huh

    so what did you do
    It was decided in court that the mother was more fit to take care of them, because of her parent's financial status. The girls mom and me split after I accidentally had sex with her best friend, so she went and got all pissy and wanted to take my babies away. First she kicked me out of the house and this sucked because I was the one who took care of them for two whole years, I stayed at home with them while I was living with my ex and her parents, and to get them taken away just tore me in two, then the bitch and her parents up and moved to fucking Minnesota, and I am poor barely making enough money for bills, so I have no way up fucking ever visiting them. At least I don't have to pay child support though.

    that fucking sucks

    Dadouw on
  • DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I do not think I ever had sex sober

    Dadouw on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Dadouw wrote: »
    Dadouw wrote: »
    If I ever get custody of them again, I don't think I could teach them that, it would be highly inappropriate.

    Oh, custody huh

    so what did you do
    It was decided in court that the mother was more fit to take care of them, because of her parent's financial status. The girls mom and me split after I accidentally had sex with her best friend, so she went and got all pissy and wanted to take my babies away. First she kicked me out of the house and this sucked because I was the one who took care of them for two whole years, I stayed at home with them while I was living with my ex and her parents, and to get them taken away just tore me in two, then the bitch and her parents up and moved to fucking Minnesota, and I am poor barely making enough money for bills, so I have no way up fucking ever visiting them. At least I don't have to pay child support though.

    that fucking sucks

    yeah i agree
    it sucks for those kids to lose a dad who clearly cared for them too. :(

    beavotron on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    this should just be retitled the beavotron thread

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    let us all talk about our sexual lifes with beavotron

    Dadouw on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    wait wait wait how do you "accidentally" have sex with someone?

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    how do you accidentally have sex with someone

    Raneados on
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    druhim get outta my brain

    what the hell, old dude

    Raneados on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    beavotron: i'm not gay but i think girls are totally gross and icky. what do i do?

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    this should just be retitled the beavotron thread
    hahah no way, it's the shibby thread

    beavotron on
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    There are several ways to do that accidentally, it all depends on how one must tell the story to their significant other.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    lostwords wrote: »
    beavotron: i'm not gay but i think girls are totally gross and icky. what do i do?

    have sex with a tran
    sexy like a lady
    without all that nasty vagina business.

    beavotron on
  • BibbleBibble __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2008
    beavotron you should get with shibby hes a class act

    Bibble on
    2jezcsmjpg.gif
  • BibbleBibble __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2008
    also to slip away based on your avatars i thought you were like 13

    Bibble on
    2jezcsmjpg.gif
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    beavotron wrote: »
    lostwords wrote: »
    beavotron: i'm not gay but i think girls are totally gross and icky. what do i do?

    have sex with a tran
    sexy like a lady
    without all that nasty vagina business.
    That would not actually be sexy though.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Bibble wrote: »
    beavotron you should get with shibby hes a class act

    i bet i'd have a story for this thread afterwards


    zzzzziinnnnggggggggg

    beavotron on
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    wait wait wait how do you "accidentally" have sex with someone?

    You're making out, she puts your hand down her pants, she puts her mouth around your penis, then she's mounting you, before you even know what's happening.


    OOOOOOOPS!

    RocketSauce on
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Bibble wrote: »
    also to slip away based on your avatars i thought you were like 13
    I still may act 13 at times, but I am 22, just turned it on this past 28th too.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    beavotron wrote: »
    Druhim wrote: »
    this should just be retitled the beavotron thread
    hahah no way, it's the shibby thread

    shibby posts in other threads but you seem to be posting almost exclusively in this one
    (not that I mind, that's just why I joked that it should be named after you)

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • BibbleBibble __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2008
    just because you regret something doesn't make it an accident

    Bibble on
    2jezcsmjpg.gif
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    wait wait wait how do you "accidentally" have sex with someone?

    You're making out, she puts your hand down her pants, she puts her mouth around your penis, then she's mounting you, before you even know what's happening.
    That is exactly how it happened to me, the damned redhead.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • BibbleBibble __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2008
    i accidentally killed a man with my bare hands

    Bibble on
    2jezcsmjpg.gif
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    so like wally west in drag raped you?

    lostwords on
    rat.jpg tumbler? steam/ps3 thingie: lostwords Amazon Wishlist!
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Bibble wrote: »
    i accidentally killed a man with my bare hands
    Did anyone find out?

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • MeissnerdMeissnerd Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    beavotron wrote: »
    Bibble wrote: »
    beavotron you should get with shibby hes a class act

    i bet i'd have a story for this thread afterwards


    zzzzziinnnnggggggggg

    nice, dude

    Meissnerd on
  • RaneadosRaneados Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    how the fuck do you have kids at 22

    Raneados on
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    wait wait wait how do you "accidentally" have sex with someone?

    You're making out, she puts your hand down her pants, she puts her mouth around your penis, then she's mounting you, before you even know what's happening.


    OOOOOOOPS! SOWY!
    that's not an accident though

    that's like saying getting punched by someone is an accident

    and the "I didn't even know what was happening until it was too late!" line is utter bullshit

    more like, "well it felt so good and I was so horny that I figured I'd make up some bullshit excuse later!"

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    I had them when I was 18.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • crwthcrwth THAT'S IT Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    the same way people have kids when they're 16

    like one of my cousins did!

    crwth on
    EzUAYcn.png
  • PotUPotU __BANNED USERS
    edited September 2008
    I once had sex with Bibble.

    Haha jk Bibble is a virgin.

    PotU on
    2mong9u.jpg
  • DruhimDruhim Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2008
    Raneados wrote: »
    how the fuck do you have kids at 22

    he makes terrible decisions

    Druhim on
    belruelotterav-1.jpg
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    Druhim wrote: »
    wait wait wait how do you "accidentally" have sex with someone?

    You're making out, she puts your hand down her pants, she puts her mouth around your penis, then she's mounting you, before you even know what's happening.


    OOOOOOOPS! SOWY!
    that's not an accident though

    that's like saying getting punched by someone is an accident

    and the "I didn't even know what was happening until it was too late!" line is utter bullshit

    more like, "well it felt so good and I was so horny that I figured I'd make up some bullshit excuse later!"

    We have a winner, this is exactly why it is an accident, because that is the best excuse to give the woman, that it was an accident.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • WrenWren Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    PotU wrote: »
    I once had sex with Bibble.

    Haha jk Bibble is a virgin.

    its not nice to fun of other peoples disabilities

    Wren on
    tf2sig.jpg
    TF2 - Wren BF3: Wren-fu
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    beavotron wrote: »
    Druhim wrote: »
    this should just be retitled the beavotron thread
    hahah no way, it's the shibby thread

    shibby posts in other threads but you seem to be posting almost exclusively in this one
    (not that I mind, that's just why I joked that it should be named after you)

    i've posted in a few around here
    you're right though, mostly just this one

    beavotron on
  • DadouwDadouw Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I AM SO YOUNG I HAVE MY WHOLE LIFE AHEAD, WAITING TO BE RUINED

    Dadouw on
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Druhim wrote: »
    Druhim wrote: »
    wait wait wait how do you "accidentally" have sex with someone?

    You're making out, she puts your hand down her pants, she puts her mouth around your penis, then she's mounting you, before you even know what's happening.


    OOOOOOOPS! SOWY!
    that's not an accident though

    that's like saying getting punched by someone is an accident

    and the "I didn't even know what was happening until it was too late!" line is utter bullshit

    more like, "well it felt so good and I was so horny that I figured I'd make up some bullshit excuse later!"

    I'm innocent I tell you.

    RocketSauce on
This discussion has been closed.