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Terrible Sex

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Posts

  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I've accidentally had sex before.

    Also yeah that was phrased wrong.

    Was it good?

    Graves on
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    I've accidentally had sex before.

    Also yeah that was phrased wrong.

    Was it good?
    Fuck yea, that bitch gave the best damn blow jobs ever.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • Centipede DamascusCentipede Damascus Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    maybe I'm inexperienced, but I totally don't get how you accidentally put your dick in the wrong vagina

    Centipede Damascus on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I was with this girl once and we were drinking rum and coke on a cruise ship, and we were chillin' sippin' talkin' for a while and then somehow I fucked her on a minigolf course, the hallway between the minigolf course and the club room, and then the bathroom in that hallway.

    I don't even know.

    But she sucked anyway.

    EDIT: sucked as in she was not good at sex

    Graves on
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    maybe I'm inexperienced, but I totally don't get how you accidentally put your dick in the wrong vagina
    It is just something you tell your woman to see if she will believe you that it was an accident after reminding her several times that you love her and not the other whore you have fucked, and hopefully she will let it slide that you are a worthless piece of shit that cheats on her.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • JedocJedoc Justice. Mercy. Duty. That sort of thing.Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    maybe I'm inexperienced, but I totally don't get how you accidentally put your dick in the wrong vagina

    It's generally caused by a sudden rush of brains to the dick.

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    maybe I'm inexperienced, but I totally don't get how you accidentally put your dick in the wrong vagina

    Sometimes, when the room is dark, and you have multiple people piled up on top of each other you can get a little disoriented.

    ChicoBlue on
  • ZombotZombot Registered User
    edited September 2008
    maybe I'm inexperienced, but I totally don't get how you accidentally put your dick in the wrong vagina

    One time I was out for a stroll and all of a sudden my dick fell into a vagina.

    Zombot on
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    If she puts her vagina on your dick, who's going to say no to that? Even if you didn't mean for it to happen.

    RocketSauce on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I think I get some kinda points though because she's 20 and I'm 17.

    Is that points?

    Graves on
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Usually happens when you trip up some stairs, happens all the time. Walking along, climbing some stairs, and then BAM! you trip up and some woman is there ready to accept your donger before you know what's happening and next thing you know, you're divorced and forced to live out of a cardboard box giving blow jobs behind the local pizza joint for your drug habit.

    Junpei on
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Junpei wrote: »
    Usually happens when you trip up some stairs, happens all the time. Walking along, climbing some stairs, and then BAM! you trip up and some woman is there ready to accept your donger before you know what's happening and next thing you know, you're divorced and forced to live out of a cardboard box giving blow jobs behind the local pizza joint for your drug habit.
    Learned from experience?

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    I've accidentally had sex before.

    Also yeah that was phrased wrong.

    Was it good?
    Fuck yea, that bitch gave the best damn blow jobs ever.

    Sounds like we knew the same girl. She accidentally had sex w/me too.

    RocketSauce on
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    I think I get some kinda points though because she's 20 and I'm 17.

    Is that points?
    Maybe like .5 of a point, maybe, was she hot?

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    I've accidentally had sex before.

    Also yeah that was phrased wrong.

    Was it good?
    Fuck yea, that bitch gave the best damn blow jobs ever.

    Sounds like we knew the same girl. She accidentally had sex w/me too.
    I know lots of girls like this though, but only a few have I accidentally had sex with. Was she a redhead?

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    I think I get some kinda points though because she's 20 and I'm 17.

    Is that points?
    Maybe like .5 of a point, maybe, was she hot?

    She was decent enough.

    Like an 8.

    She had D cups, though, I think that adds to the score.

    Graves on
  • Seattle ThreadSeattle Thread Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    wait wait wait

    how do you accidentally have sex?
    I didn't mean to fuck her best friend, it just sort of happened like an accident.
    What? Did she trip, fall and land on your dick?

    Seattle Thread on
    kofz2amsvqm3.png
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    Graves wrote: »
    I think I get some kinda points though because she's 20 and I'm 17.

    Is that points?
    Maybe like .5 of a point, maybe, was she hot?

    She was decent enough.

    Like an 8.

    She had D cups, though, I think that adds to the score.
    Sweet, was she a common every day whore with a run down pussy, or was that shit tight?

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    I've accidentally had sex before.

    Also yeah that was phrased wrong.

    Was it good?
    Fuck yea, that bitch gave the best damn blow jobs ever.

    Sounds like we knew the same girl. She accidentally had sex w/me too.
    I know lots of girls like this though, but only a few have I accidentally had sex with. Was she a redhead?

    The way she gave blowjobs, she went so furious I thought she was going to give herself whiplash. I haven't seen pornstars give BJs with that much enthusiasm.

    RocketSauce on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    Graves wrote: »
    I think I get some kinda points though because she's 20 and I'm 17.

    Is that points?
    Maybe like .5 of a point, maybe, was she hot?

    She was decent enough.

    Like an 8.

    She had D cups, though, I think that adds to the score.
    Sweet, was she a common every day whore with a run down pussy, or was that shit tight?

    Shit was pretty tight.

    I think she was new at being a whore.

    Graves on
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    I've accidentally had sex before.

    Also yeah that was phrased wrong.

    Was it good?
    Fuck yea, that bitch gave the best damn blow jobs ever.

    Sounds like we knew the same girl. She accidentally had sex w/me too.
    I know lots of girls like this though, but only a few have I accidentally had sex with. Was she a redhead?

    Holy fucking shit, yeah she was.

    RocketSauce on
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Makershot wrote: »
    wait wait wait

    how do you accidentally have sex?
    I didn't mean to fuck her best friend, it just sort of happened like an accident.
    What? Did she trip, fall and land on your dick?
    She seduced me man, with weed and beer, I swear it was all her idea. I had nothing to do with it, I didn't even want to have sex with her, but once she started blowing me I couldn't say no.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • ZombotZombot Registered User
    edited September 2008
    There's this one chick I work with who has the nicest, hugest tits ever and she's really skinny.
    (They're fake)

    One day she bent over in front of me, and I saw heaven.

    Zombot on
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Junpei wrote: »
    Usually happens when you trip up some stairs, happens all the time. Walking along, climbing some stairs, and then BAM! you trip up and some woman is there ready to accept your donger before you know what's happening and next thing you know, you're divorced and forced to live out of a cardboard box giving blow jobs behind the local pizza joint for your drug habit.
    Learned from experience?

    Fortunately not, but I know this one The Cure fan ....

    Junpei on
  • To Slip AwayTo Slip Away __BANNED USERS regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    Graves wrote: »
    Graves wrote: »
    I think I get some kinda points though because she's 20 and I'm 17.

    Is that points?
    Maybe like .5 of a point, maybe, was she hot?

    She was decent enough.

    Like an 8.

    She had D cups, though, I think that adds to the score.
    Sweet, was she a common every day whore with a run down pussy, or was that shit tight?

    Shit was pretty tight.

    I think she was new at being a whore.
    You get 1.5 points.

    To Slip Away on
    CureSig2-1.jpg
    plnre-1.jpg
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Makershot wrote: »
    wait wait wait

    how do you accidentally have sex?
    I didn't mean to fuck her best friend, it just sort of happened like an accident.
    What? Did she trip, fall and land on your dick?
    She seduced me man, with weed and beer, I swear it was all her idea. I had nothing to do with it, I didn't even want to have sex with her, but once she started blowing me I couldn't say no.

    Hoooly shit. That's exactly what happened to me. As soon as she was done with the BJ, she just hopped right on and didn't even really give me a say. Once it's in, it's kinda hard to decline that.

    RocketSauce on
  • EriosErios Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Makershot wrote: »
    wait wait wait

    how do you accidentally have sex?
    I didn't mean to fuck her best friend, it just sort of happened like an accident.
    What? Did she trip, fall and land on your dick?
    She seduced me man, with weed and beer, I swear it was all her idea. I had nothing to do with it, I didn't even want to have sex with her, but once she started blowing me I couldn't say no.

    You were trying to be sensitive to her feelings and didn't want to hurt her.

    Sucks about your kids though :(. God, I would hate it if someone took away my TV or my puppy. If someone took away my children, I'm not sure I'd ever get over it. You must have some force of will, man.

    Erios on
    Steam: erios23, Live: Coconut Flavor, Origin: erios2386.
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    Graves wrote: »
    Graves wrote: »
    I think I get some kinda points though because she's 20 and I'm 17.

    Is that points?
    Maybe like .5 of a point, maybe, was she hot?

    She was decent enough.

    Like an 8.

    She had D cups, though, I think that adds to the score.
    Sweet, was she a common every day whore with a run down pussy, or was that shit tight?

    Shit was pretty tight.

    I think she was new at being a whore.
    You get 1.5 points.

    I can dig that.

    How many points is dating a hot chick?

    (I might as well just tally up all my points)

    Graves on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    wait, what's the rule?
    half your age plus 7?

    yessss, 18 is still good
    now i don't feel so bad

    potatoe on
  • canemaquiluscanemaquilus Registered User
    edited September 2008
    Redheads all seem pretty slutty from my experience. Its weird.

    Anecdotal evidence though certainly.

    canemaquilus on
  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    also, when alcohol is involved accidental sex is kosher
    i've been both granted that excuse and allowed that excuse in the past

    potatoe on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    potatoe wrote: »
    also, when alcohol is involved accidental sex is kosher
    i've been both granted that excuse and allowed that excuse in the past

    Yeah same.

    But really you only get the one shot.

    Fuck up again and you GAME OVER

    Graves on
  • RocketSauceRocketSauce Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    To Slip Away, what was the name of your redhead? I gotta know we didn't fuck the same girl.

    RocketSauce on
  • bowtiedsealbowtiedseal Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I don't know where to put this but wow one of my friends just got engaged to a guy she's known for a month

    my reaction so far is shock

    bowtiedseal on
  • satansfingerssatansfingers Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I don't know where to put this but wow one of my friends just got engaged to a guy she's known for a month

    my reaction so far is shock

    this is the only reaction

    satansfingers on
  • lostwordslostwords Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    are they out of school and have stable jobs and all? and how big is the rock?

    lostwords on
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  • potatoepotatoe Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    potatoe wrote: »
    also, when alcohol is involved accidental sex is kosher
    i've been both granted that excuse and allowed that excuse in the past

    Yeah same.

    But really you only get the one shot.

    Fuck up again and you GAME OVER

    it's a very tricky excuse

    the excuse only works if you really mean it

    and, yeah, it's tough to make it fly a second time

    potatoe on
  • beavotronbeavotron Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I don't know where to put this but wow one of my friends just got engaged to a guy she's known for a month

    my reaction so far is shock


    you should throw her a pre-divorce party
    get it out of the way early.

    beavotron on
  • bowtiedsealbowtiedseal Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    I don't know where to put this but wow one of my friends just got engaged to a guy she's known for a month

    my reaction so far is shock

    this is the only reaction

    and she was totally on my side (the side of reason) last year when my brother got engaged and I was freaking out about his being too young!

    bowtiedseal on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited September 2008
    potatoe wrote: »
    Graves wrote: »
    potatoe wrote: »
    also, when alcohol is involved accidental sex is kosher
    i've been both granted that excuse and allowed that excuse in the past

    Yeah same.

    But really you only get the one shot.

    Fuck up again and you GAME OVER

    it's a very tricky excuse

    the excuse only works if you really mean it

    and, yeah, it's tough to make it fly a second time

    She was very nonchalant about it.

    Which at first it was weird yet relieving, then it was weird.

    And now I understand.

    Graves on
This discussion has been closed.