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My wife and I are getting a divorce
Posts
How much is a good # for food/month? I have 150.
On another note - I believe that even if she didnt play WoW, she would have cheated on me. She revealed to me that there was a co-worker of hers, who if he had asked, she would have jumped his bones right then and there. So I can't be mad at WoW (at least not rational anger).
So, I can live on my own with a 15 month lease for 8-9 months until I get my CPA, at which point I should be making enough (roughly 22/hr) to support myself for the rest of the months until the lease is up. I should note that im getting an AMAZING deal on this place, since the previous people left IMMEDIATELY and they want to fill the vacancy. 695/mnth including cable and valet trash for a 824 sq ft place in Tampa. Extra $15 for internet. Just gotta pay electricity and water. And car pmt, and insurance
So, parents and saving money or freedom
proposed budget:
Rent 695
Internet 15
TECO(electricity) 80
Water 20
Car Pmt 150
Insurance 150
Food 150
Entertainment 100
Gas 200 - will shrink signifigantly come Nov 11 (after I finish my internship 25 miles away from home)
Misc 75
Total 1635
Could you keep the kitty in your room?
If you can't keep the kitty I wouldn't do it.
but they're listening to every word I say
Besides, you can always retreat to your room if they get annoying (not saying they will, but hey, everyone's parents get that way -sometimes-)
And did you smack her when she told you this? Not that I condone spousal (or ex-spousal) abuse, but ...man, I want to HIT this lack of a woman for you!
And yea, I could save literally about 3 grand living with my parents. But how the hell do you date while living at your parents?
Also, 150 doesnt seem too unreasonable for food a month. Especially if im cooking 4/5th of them. 2 pounds of stew meat + bag of veggies = stew for 3-4 days.
Also, I did not smack the shit out of her when she told me this. I don't condone spousal (HAH!) abuse and didn't want to go to jail. Domestic abuse kills your chances at a good job and under the AICPA Code of Conduct rule 501 - Acts discredible to the profession, I can lose my CPA and be barred from the profession should they want to.
When I visit my parents for vacation (they live about 1100 miles away), I stress to them that I'm coming to just hang out with them, not to "do" anything, because I lived there -- I already did everything. So it's 3-6 days of just kind of living with them. And, perhaps unsurprisingly, things like dishes, laundry, helping out and cooking now come naturally to me. I think they will to you, as well, and taking a little longer commute to live very cheaply is probably a good idea for now.
More importantly, it'll give you breathing room for you to figure out the next step. Perhaps hunt for a roommate, or even use it to date a bit.
ah just relax for those three months. Don't worry about dating right off the bat (at least in my opinion).
Im just VERY used to living on my own (at least with my wife) and it will probably be odd to live with my parents again. My dad and I are awesome together as were more friends than family, but my mom is kinda neurotic and overbearing. Small sacrifice for living rent free for a few months I guess. Im gonna talk with them over dinner today about the kitty.
Dude. This is the last thing to worry about now.
You should not date yet. No girlfriends- casual sure maybe. But be very carefull with that. You just got un married. Be happy in you, then date.
Take a minute here and let everything settle. Don't rush anything or you will be fucked up later. Let your self be mad and angry and sad and upset for a bit. You need to, its healthy to let it out whatever it is. You wanna drag a girl into that process?
However, when you do start dating.... at least me... I felt bulletproof because- what could hurt me worse that the divorce? Not much. Plenty of new girls to have fun with. but thats later.
Currently, my mother in law is living with us (two weeks left) after a nasty divorce. She put all of her stuff in storage and was saving money to put a down payment on a house. At first she wanted to hang out with us all the time, but after a few weeks, she more or less understood how busy our schedule was and adjusted.
In short, living with your parents will more than likely drive you insane, but if it's a good move, and you can keep the cat, do it.
I mean, yay money saved and all, but what you really need right now is to feel independent, and if there's one thing that can prevent that good feeling (whether or not it's true) it's going back to live with your parents. If you've got a great deal on a place and you can afford it, I say go for that.
See how many books I've read so far in 2010
If a lot of money and kids are involved then get a lawyer. If not then you can file the paper work yourselves and save the money.
Sucks she did this but if I'm not mistaken you're young and there are plenty of great girls out there.
Im doing this because I can save a fuckton of cash, and since after Nov 11 my internship ends - I wont have a job. I dont plan on getting one as I will be taking 12 hours of graduate classes AND studying for the CPA through a review program which is 4 months long and if I dont pass my CPA im ruined. So my plan is to live there for a few months (maybe longer to save for a nice downpayment on a house/condo) This Thursday actually, I will be going to the huge career fair at my university and hopefully land a full-time job starting May 09 (which is when I woudl have my CPA). With that future income assured, then I can decided where I want to live and what to do.
t LondonBridge: yea im young, im 22 - 23 in february, and have alot of life in front of me still.
One thing to just sorta keep in the back of your mind (at least at this point) is the possibility of false accusations of this. The sad truth is that if a woman wants to get revenge a great way to do it is to drop the family court nuclear bomb of domestic violence accusations. All she has to do is stop by the local court house and she can have a DV protection order against you faster than you can say "criminal accusations and consequences with civil court rules of evidence". She can bar you from your home, make you surrender any weapons you might own, and it automatically puts on the defensive in an uphill legal battle (just be glad you don't have any kids) to clear your name.
While she lied about one thing, I doubt she would actively fuck me over like this.
Without sounding like to much of a dick, hasn't she already?
There are three simple words that make life so much easier, be it school, work or personal life...
These words...
Cover your ass.
Especially if your living with your folks, you'll have smoe extra cash that your not paying in rent... get yourself some (I believe Thanatos said it best) asshole protection... the "woman" has shown she doesn't give a shit about you by doing what she's done.
I feel for you bro... I really do... just be careful.
Though, all that money saved with parents sure sounds helpful.
This story makes me afraid of marriage.
You are probably OK since it seems you are separating amicably at her request, there is no reason for her to want revenge.
maybe she thinks he'll drop loot.
i'm sorry but that's funny.
as for the moving situation.... doesn't matter where you go. Just get out
!!!!▓▓▓▓▓Gravy?▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!
!!!!!!▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓▓!!!!!!!!!
of doom
I also try to leave the room when shes on the computer as her and her new man talk on vent like a couple of newlyweds.
I'm sorry to tell you this, but your soon-to-be ex-wife is a bitch. Leaving you for a guy she's met in person once after a 4.5 year relationship, as well as talking on vent with him when you're in the room? No thanks.
Tell me something I dont know
Today, on the way home from work I got so furious with her and all the trouble shes putting me through. Not only emotionally, but financially. Thankfully, im not that furious (were talking homicidal) anymore. I just need to take the high road and leave this weekend and never see her again.
Just keep doing what you're doing, and I'm certain you're going to be fine in no time at all.
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Thanks nap, ive been lurking here since 1999ish and ive always valued your opinion as a forumer. Its been very hard recently, probably the hardest thing ive ever done in my entire life at this point, but im slowly, OH GOD SLOWLY, moving on. I figure I can stay at the parents for a few months and bankroll some good cash, so I can afford a nice place when I get out on my own around december.
Still havent decided what to do with my ring yet, most likely going to keep it in a box as some have suggested.
Also a good friend of mine has been playing at this star wars LARP on campus for the past 2-3ish years. Apparently alot of chicks there just looking for a casual relationship, nothing serious - so im gonna go with him and get some socializing down. I know - I need to wait and relax, but really im used to sex once or twice a day for the past 4.5 years. and I figure something fun and new will maybe bring me out of this rut.
If that turns out to be a bad idea, at least it cant be worse than my current situation!
The idea of rejection doesn't really phase me right now, compared to my high school self.
Why do you say that? Its pretty much over in everything except status
Because it represents a vulnerability that could be turned against you legally. Look, I'm sure your (ex) wife is a decent person to you, but I would cover your ass as best I can.
Also, I vote against moving in with your folks. To me, that seems like moving one step forward and two back. Sure, you will be in a comforting, caring environment. However, you won't have as much pressure to meet new people or do things. If you're the type that languishes easily (I know I am), then don't do it. It's very easy to get stuck in a rut at home. Hell, my 29 year-old brother moved back in two years ago and he still has yet to move out. Not saying you're the same, but be wary. Also, your parents' affection might turn smothering to the point where all it does is dredge up bad memories.
There's no reason you can't live somewhere else and go visit your folks on the weekends or weeknights.
Also, few things are less sexy than "we can't go back to my place baby, I live with my parents." :P
I'm going to second this. Wait until the divorce is final or else it can be very much used against you. Otherwise a judge will ask you and you'll say "yes I have slept with other people" and they're not going to care that your wife did it first, it's still legally adultery until you are divorced.
Exactly, just stick with porn for a few weeks and you'll be set.
It will give you piece of mind and help put a period on this relationship. The last thing that you want is in a couple months she decides that she needs some of the furniture your taking or that your cat really belongs to her. And if things aren't taken care of properly she will be able to.