But seriously people, it doesn't matter what I "beat off to" because it's irrelevant when squared against the bigger picture. I'm a grinder. What stimulates me to masturbate is nowhere near as intriguing and vile as the things against which I have stimulated myself.
Vile and intriguing indeed.
Foosball table was a good one because I actually used the time-lapse on my cameraphone to take pictures of that one.
The blue team were the real winners.
How does that even work? That just seems like it would be really awkward.
I guess you lie on top of it and position one of them just right. Then someone turns the handle maybe?
But seriously people, it doesn't matter what I "beat off to" because it's irrelevant when squared against the bigger picture. I'm a grinder. What stimulates me to masturbate is nowhere near as intriguing and vile as the things against which I have stimulated myself.
Vile and intriguing indeed.
Foosball table was a good one because I actually used the time-lapse on my cameraphone to take pictures of that one.
The blue team were the real winners.
How does that even work? That just seems like it would be really awkward.
OKAY SO. You wear really tight panties that you don't give a shit about. Really tight jeans or skirt helps but isn't necessary. Straddle whatever you're grinding against, or lay face-down on the ground/your bed. You just ... move forward, and move backward. If you really want, you can make a little 'V' with your outstretched fingers of both hands, and massage the lump as you're going, but it's really not necessary. This is the basic grind.
The In-'N-Out Combo is when you're grinding naked, but are purposefully seated in such a way that you can autonomously penetrate your own anus (stool in the bathtub, sterilize the spout or a knob and use that, or get a butt plug/mounted dildo). That's a step up.
There's a couple other variations, but ... yeahhh. You don't wanna know. With the foosball table I was just going on the lip of it while straddling it. It was the only thing in my apartment at the time with the right width.
I won't share the whole story, but fisty-nine is a position wherein the bottom is straddling the chest of the top, ass-towards-their-face, and gives oral sex while the top fists them. It has a lot of other nicknames, like Driving the Piston and Doing the Locomotion, 'cause you look like one of the wheels on those old-fashioned steam engines with the crossbars.
But seriously people, it doesn't matter what I "beat off to" because it's irrelevant when squared against the bigger picture. I'm a grinder. What stimulates me to masturbate is nowhere near as intriguing and vile as the things against which I have stimulated myself.
Vile and intriguing indeed.
Foosball table was a good one because I actually used the time-lapse on my cameraphone to take pictures of that one.
The blue team were the real winners.
The In-'N-Out Combo is when you're grinding naked, but are purposefully seated in such a way that you can autonomously penetrate your own anus (stool in the bathtub, sterilize the spout or a knob and use that, or get a butt plug/mounted dildo). That's a step up.
I ALWAYS FUCKING WONDERED ABOUT THAT! I KNEW IT WAS POSSIBLE BUT I JUST DIDN'T KNOW IF PEOPLE DID IT!
THANK YOU FOR SATISFYING MY CURIOSITY. CAPS BECAUSE I'M PUMPED TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT CRAZY OR TOTALLY DEPRAVED.
I won't share the whole story, but fisty-nine is a position wherein the bottom is straddling the chest of the top, ass-towards-their-face, and gives oral sex while the top fists them. It has a lot of other nicknames, like Driving the Piston and Doing the Locomotion, 'cause you look like one of the wheels on those old-fashioned steam engines with the crossbars.
and Crimson King if you really wanted to know the story behind how I discovered fisty-nine, the short-hand for it is that such an act costs $300 on the open market
But seriously people, it doesn't matter what I "beat off to" because it's irrelevant when squared against the bigger picture. I'm a grinder. What stimulates me to masturbate is nowhere near as intriguing and vile as the things against which I have stimulated myself.
Vile and intriguing indeed.
Foosball table was a good one because I actually used the time-lapse on my cameraphone to take pictures of that one.
The blue team were the real winners.
The In-'N-Out Combo is when you're grinding naked, but are purposefully seated in such a way that you can autonomously penetrate your own anus (stool in the bathtub, sterilize the spout or a knob and use that, or get a butt plug/mounted dildo). That's a step up.
I ALWAYS FUCKING WONDERED ABOUT THAT! I KNEW IT WAS POSSIBLE BUT I JUST DIDN'T KNOW IF PEOPLE DID IT!
THANK YOU FOR SATISFYING MY CURIOSITY. CAPS BECAUSE I'M PUMPED TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT CRAZY OR TOTALLY DEPRAVED.
I'm too prudish to read what went down but I don't think it increases or decreases any Bayesian inference regarding your sanity or depravity.
themightypuck on
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
― Marcus Aurelius
Take Adderall, you can be awake with me as I teeter towards oblivion! I've taken about a third of a gram under the LD50 of cocaine for someone of my weight. I'm gambling tonight. I wanted to just throw away this second ball that I had lying around (my dealer had been holding onto it when I said "I quit drugs!" a few nights ago, since I didn't want to risk getting caught with 7g of snow), but since he handed it to me for free I instead slammed once, and then after I slammed once I said, "Fuck! I need to get this out of my system ASAP so I can get a job, I can't spend another three days pounding!"
I ALWAYS FUCKING WONDERED ABOUT THAT! I KNEW IT WAS POSSIBLE BUT I JUST DIDN'T KNOW IF PEOPLE DID IT!
THANK YOU FOR SATISFYING MY CURIOSITY. CAPS BECAUSE I'M PUMPED TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT CRAZY OR TOTALLY DEPRAVED.
It always hurts my head when someone is more sexually ignorant than myself.
I mean I've taught people how to bring themselves to orgasm in the shower.
You people with actual sex lives should be, like, I don't know, be coining terms for sexual positions requiring R/C cars and specific flavors of fruit syrup.
and Crimson King if you really wanted to know the story behind how I discovered fisty-nine, the short-hand for it is that such an act costs $300 on the open market
YMMV
one of these days, i'll be watching late-night television with a group of friends, and somebody on the TV will mention this. and everyone will be all EWWW and then someone will say half-jokingly, "Christ, I wonder how much people get paid to have to do that?" and I'll reflexively say "$300." and there will be total silence.
You people with actual sex lives should be, like, I don't know, be coining terms for sexual positions requiring R/C cars and specific flavors of fruit syrup.
Well, in the arena of masturbation, I think the correlation might be inverse. I'm essentially asexual when it comes to sex with other human beings -- nothing short of the most perverted and full-blooded fetishes will bring me to orgasm -- so my masturbation habits have exploded in intricacy to compensate.
Take Adderall, you can be awake with me as I teeter towards oblivion! I've taken about a third of a gram under the LD50 of cocaine for someone of my weight. I'm gambling tonight. I wanted to just throw away this second ball that I had lying around (my dealer had been holding onto it when I said "I quit drugs!" a few nights ago, since I didn't want to risk getting caught with 7g of snow), but since he handed it to me for free I instead slammed once, and then after I slammed once I said, "Fuck! I need to get this out of my system ASAP so I can get a job, I can't spend another three days pounding!"
So I just, uh, slammed it all down.
My arms are kind of numb.
On the plus side if you die no one can say we were encouraging you.
Oboro, do you look anything like a glistening, thousand-eyed goddess, depicted in murals as cradling ashen silhouettes with foliage sprouting from the dimensions of your drug-addled dreams? The end of romanticism and the beginning of self-fascination?
Take Adderall, you can be awake with me as I teeter towards oblivion! I've taken about a third of a gram under the LD50 of cocaine for someone of my weight. I'm gambling tonight. I wanted to just throw away this second ball that I had lying around (my dealer had been holding onto it when I said "I quit drugs!" a few nights ago, since I didn't want to risk getting caught with 7g of snow), but since he handed it to me for free I instead slammed once, and then after I slammed once I said, "Fuck! I need to get this out of my system ASAP so I can get a job, I can't spend another three days pounding!"
So I just, uh, slammed it all down.
My arms are kind of numb.
Hm. Well i'm not feeling particularly constructive so no chastising here. Free substances. Congratulations I had to milk the kid who lives under my stairs for a large hit of salvia.
I mean it was fantastic and all but damn there's a burn mark on my floor now.
edit: seriously i'm bored. everyone has passed out.
Well, in the arena of masturbation, I think the correlation might be inverse. I'm essentially asexual when it comes to sex with other human beings -- nothing short of the most perverted and full-blooded fetishes will bring me to orgasm -- so my masturbation habits have exploded in intricacy to compensate.
All I can really reply with is that I am a big fan of Giger.
Take Adderall, you can be awake with me as I teeter towards oblivion! I've taken about a third of a gram under the LD50 of cocaine for someone of my weight. I'm gambling tonight. I wanted to just throw away this second ball that I had lying around (my dealer had been holding onto it when I said "I quit drugs!" a few nights ago, since I didn't want to risk getting caught with 7g of snow), but since he handed it to me for free I instead slammed once, and then after I slammed once I said, "Fuck! I need to get this out of my system ASAP so I can get a job, I can't spend another three days pounding!"
So I just, uh, slammed it all down.
My arms are kind of numb.
Be careful you moron.
themightypuck on
“Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.”
― Marcus Aurelius
On the plus side if you die no one can say we were encouraging you.
Also that there are still LD25's and all that.
Yeah true all of this. The egg is definitely all on my face. This like, isn't even new for me. Do you know what I did last Sunday?
I was fixing hard, so I phoned up this guy and was like, "Fuck just give me whatever you got!" So he hands off this vial that he said someone sold to him, claiming it was "liquid ecstasy." I took him on his word, figured it was MDMA in aq, and that when I got back to my apartment I would evaporate the water and insufflate per usual.
Well, I got impatient and just straight-shot the thing like a hit of vodka. I knew something was wrong pretty much as soon as I tasted it, but, well, there wasn't much time to meditate on the idea. After crying from the euphoria, I fell unconscious for about six hours, locked in my room, thank-God-in-the-recovery-position.
It was clinical morphine. I'd sent myself into respiratory depression.
And then I lied to my dealer, said it was just cool, and I'd see him later that week! o/
Take Adderall, you can be awake with me as I teeter towards oblivion! I've taken about a third of a gram under the LD50 of cocaine for someone of my weight. I'm gambling tonight. I wanted to just throw away this second ball that I had lying around (my dealer had been holding onto it when I said "I quit drugs!" a few nights ago, since I didn't want to risk getting caught with 7g of snow), but since he handed it to me for free I instead slammed once, and then after I slammed once I said, "Fuck! I need to get this out of my system ASAP so I can get a job, I can't spend another three days pounding!"
So I just, uh, slammed it all down.
My arms are kind of numb.
Hm. Well i'm not feeling particularly constructive so no chastising here. Free substances. Congratulations I had to milk the kid who lives under my stairs for a large hit of salvia.
I mean it was fantastic and all but damn there's a burn mark on my floor now.
edit: seriously i'm bored. everyone has passed out.
Oh wait, I thought of the other option here: Oboro couldn't you have just flushed it down the toilet if you quit drugs?
I ... have no power left. I admit this. v_v
The good news is that I'm broke. When I started using heavy I paid forward my rent, but that still gets me evicted on January 1st unless I can come up with ... about $500 before then. Sleeping around isn't really an option since I completely destroyed my body in these last, most violent throes of stimulant abuse. So, uh.
Hopefully I'll make this work somehow? There's lots of shitty seasonal retail jobs opening up. I just need to pass the drug test. Also, I need to not die tonight.
But, well, if I do die, uh ... I wrote a really kick-ass last will and testament.
Oboro on
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BobCescaIs a girlBirmingham, UKRegistered Userregular
edited November 2008
you guys teach me so much I never wanted to know.
You know, I'd probably only be half as sarcastic, perverted and dirty-minded if it wasn't for the internet.
Take Adderall, you can be awake with me as I teeter towards oblivion! I've taken about a third of a gram under the LD50 of cocaine for someone of my weight. I'm gambling tonight. I wanted to just throw away this second ball that I had lying around (my dealer had been holding onto it when I said "I quit drugs!" a few nights ago, since I didn't want to risk getting caught with 7g of snow), but since he handed it to me for free I instead slammed once, and then after I slammed once I said, "Fuck! I need to get this out of my system ASAP so I can get a job, I can't spend another three days pounding!"
So I just, uh, slammed it all down.
My arms are kind of numb.
Hm. Well i'm not feeling particularly constructive so no chastising here. Free substances. Congratulations I had to milk the kid who lives under my stairs for a large hit of salvia.
I mean it was fantastic and all but damn there's a burn mark on my floor now.
edit: seriously i'm bored. everyone has passed out.
so.
what's salvia?
Stupid. Fast incredible intense trip. You smoke it. You leave.
Stupid. Fast incredible intense trip. You smoke it. You leave.
It also [anecdotally] has a far-higher incidence of bad trips than any other hallucinogen or any disassociative (even DXM). Something like 70% of users have no desire to repeat the experience, and something like 15% actively feel far worse for having done it.
Take Adderall, you can be awake with me as I teeter towards oblivion! I've taken about a third of a gram under the LD50 of cocaine for someone of my weight. I'm gambling tonight. I wanted to just throw away this second ball that I had lying around (my dealer had been holding onto it when I said "I quit drugs!" a few nights ago, since I didn't want to risk getting caught with 7g of snow), but since he handed it to me for free I instead slammed once, and then after I slammed once I said, "Fuck! I need to get this out of my system ASAP so I can get a job, I can't spend another three days pounding!"
So I just, uh, slammed it all down.
My arms are kind of numb.
Hm. Well i'm not feeling particularly constructive so no chastising here. Free substances. Congratulations I had to milk the kid who lives under my stairs for a large hit of salvia.
I mean it was fantastic and all but damn there's a burn mark on my floor now.
edit: seriously i'm bored. everyone has passed out.
so.
what's salvia?
Stupid. Fast incredible intense trip. You smoke it. You leave.
Stupid. Fast incredible intense trip. You smoke it. You leave.
It also [anecdotally] has a far-higher incidence of bad trips than any other hallucinogen or any disassociative (even DXM). Something like 70% of users have no desire to repeat the experience, and something like 15% actively feel far worse for having done it.
I've done it three times. First time was an amazing out of body experience. Second time was a terrible trip. This time was okay. . .nothing special I just grew tired of it.
On the bad trip I thought I choked to death and died. It was terrible. I coughed the instant the drug kicked in and I felt as though I was trapped within that moment of coughing and being without oxygen forever. Super sucky.
Posts
I guess you lie on top of it and position one of them just right. Then someone turns the handle maybe?
Is there a monolith story?
maybe i should just be letting this lie.
In other news did you know that Martin Scorsese directed a Michael Jackson video?
Now we're in slasher movie territory.
― Marcus Aurelius
Path of Exile: themightypuck
The In-'N-Out Combo is when you're grinding naked, but are purposefully seated in such a way that you can autonomously penetrate your own anus (stool in the bathtub, sterilize the spout or a knob and use that, or get a butt plug/mounted dildo). That's a step up.
There's a couple other variations, but ... yeahhh. You don't wanna know. With the foosball table I was just going on the lip of it while straddling it. It was the only thing in my apartment at the time with the right width.
Not even mildly ironic. Unless you were referring to my girl on girl spanking comment.
― Marcus Aurelius
Path of Exile: themightypuck
The Night The Internet Broke My Brain
Huh. The more you know.
YMMV
I think I should take adderall
but. i also think i should just drink myself into oblivion. oh choices.
― Marcus Aurelius
Path of Exile: themightypuck
So I just, uh, slammed it all down.
My arms are kind of numb.
It always hurts my head when someone is more sexually ignorant than myself.
I mean I've taught people how to bring themselves to orgasm in the shower.
You people with actual sex lives should be, like, I don't know, be coining terms for sexual positions requiring R/C cars and specific flavors of fruit syrup.
one of these days, i'll be watching late-night television with a group of friends, and somebody on the TV will mention this. and everyone will be all EWWW and then someone will say half-jokingly, "Christ, I wonder how much people get paid to have to do that?" and I'll reflexively say "$300." and there will be total silence.
Also that there are still LD25's and all that.
Hm. Well i'm not feeling particularly constructive so no chastising here. Free substances. Congratulations I had to milk the kid who lives under my stairs for a large hit of salvia.
I mean it was fantastic and all but damn there's a burn mark on my floor now.
edit: seriously i'm bored. everyone has passed out.
All I can really reply with is that I am a big fan of Giger.
--
Night kiddies. Wake sticky.
Be careful you moron.
― Marcus Aurelius
Path of Exile: themightypuck
I was fixing hard, so I phoned up this guy and was like, "Fuck just give me whatever you got!" So he hands off this vial that he said someone sold to him, claiming it was "liquid ecstasy." I took him on his word, figured it was MDMA in aq, and that when I got back to my apartment I would evaporate the water and insufflate per usual.
Well, I got impatient and just straight-shot the thing like a hit of vodka. I knew something was wrong pretty much as soon as I tasted it, but, well, there wasn't much time to meditate on the idea. After crying from the euphoria, I fell unconscious for about six hours, locked in my room, thank-God-in-the-recovery-position.
It was clinical morphine. I'd sent myself into respiratory depression.
And then I lied to my dealer, said it was just cool, and I'd see him later that week! o/
so.
what's salvia?
I found a paper that discovered it caused dna damage in the forebrain dopaminergic centers in Rats.
Before you ask they cut them up to find out.
The good news is that I'm broke. When I started using heavy I paid forward my rent, but that still gets me evicted on January 1st unless I can come up with ... about $500 before then. Sleeping around isn't really an option since I completely destroyed my body in these last, most violent throes of stimulant abuse. So, uh.
Hopefully I'll make this work somehow? There's lots of shitty seasonal retail jobs opening up. I just need to pass the drug test. Also, I need to not die tonight.
But, well, if I do die, uh ... I wrote a really kick-ass last will and testament.
You know, I'd probably only be half as sarcastic, perverted and dirty-minded if it wasn't for the internet.
God how I love it!
Stupid. Fast incredible intense trip. You smoke it. You leave.
The wikipedia is fairly comprehensive.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salvia_divinorum
That is a good one. I want to see that on a giant screen in 1080p with whatever the state of the art surround is.
― Marcus Aurelius
Path of Exile: themightypuck
Well now I know.
You guys make my horizons seem so limited.
I've done it three times. First time was an amazing out of body experience. Second time was a terrible trip. This time was okay. . .nothing special I just grew tired of it.
On the bad trip I thought I choked to death and died. It was terrible. I coughed the instant the drug kicked in and I felt as though I was trapped within that moment of coughing and being without oxygen forever. Super sucky.