Das Uber Edward was in deep thought. Things had not been going very well for him, lately. He felt sexually repressed. He needed a certain catharsis, someone or something he could have his fill of without ever having to look back.
Almost instinctively, he felt compelled to visit the boy who resided underneath his stairway.
"Listen," he said to the boy-academic, "I've been thinking about you for a very long time, fantasizing, in fact." Edward drew the boy into a sweet and tender kiss, a melting embrace of two distinct personal histories temporarily intertwining in a pure expression of joyous ecstasy.
Unfazed, the boy was caught up in contemplation of the dramatic undercurrents of the effect the military-industrial complex has on post-Neo-Romanticism. Edward didn't care, he didn't love his sweet babefruit for its stagnant demi-mind.
Suddenly claimed by a pang of primal lust, Edward began undressing his loveknuckle, his chidebearer, his joyslide. Slowly yet sensually unzipping the battered school-trousers of his dissonant paramour, Edward began the two-timed jazz set that was his style of lovemaking. As he traced the succulent and apparently well-exercised facial muscles of his companion, the boy suddenly spoke:
"You know man, this really accentuates the pataphysical inclinations of actualized diodes..."
Edward soothingly shushed him. "Don't say another word, pastry, you're spoiling all of this...".
Probably surprisingly to [chat], despite how large a role prostitution and substance abuse have come to play in my life, I have somehow not bothered to try and grok my feelings on the subjects.
I think it's because it's too scary an idea to approach while I'm still 'on the inside.' Whatever conclusion I reached, and whatever judgment (or lack thereof) I passed, I would pass also on myself and all of these people with whom tacit relationships have become the turtle on which my world rests. I can't risk toppling the turtle. I don't really know if there's elephants between me and it, or some other Hindu fulcrum of the universe I can toss away -- in all likelihood, the confrontation leaves me staring squarely into the void and giving credence to the famous quotation where the void stares back.
As long as the void stares back, and doesn't just wave affectionately your probably ok.
You are correct its probably better to avoid risking the erosion of what stability you have managed to achieve. Not everyone is as accepting as others. Good friendships take a very long time to cultivate, and not everyone has the capability of accepting other people for who, and what they are.
Dang ya'll. So I just checked my phone messages and this hella cool girl was messaging me all night but I was too busy to notice.
Super bummer.
I haven't been happy to receive a message on my phone since I was a carefree college student and the reason I was being told "Don't do it, Oboro!" was because I was opting to play World of Warcraft instead of socializing at parties in my dorm, or later in the hotel that they sequestered my kind in.
Oh, to be young again!!
Aren't you older than me?
I turn 21 this December. My life, however, has sort of been counted out in dog years -- insofar as perceptions are concerned -- since I first came out to my parents, five years ago, September. The circumstance is unique and deleterious enough that the DSM-IV describes it definitively;
I suffered a continuous suffering, and a protracted conflict, and an absolute disjointing of my selfhood from my person, and this never let up, and nothing got better, and betrayals were had, and abuse came in flavors as numerous as Baskin Robbins, and nothing ever broke the continuity. There was never respite, and it was always a tornado and never a hurricane because we never even found an eye of the storm to huddle under, for the brief moment, for the one good deep breath that preps you for the next plunge.
Clinically, this is the circumstance that differentiates PTSD from CPTSD: complex post-traumatic stress disorder. PTSD is what happens after you get raped. CTPSD is what happens when the world's raping you, and you've come to grips with the fact that the Earth has far more stamina for the fucking than you have for the enduring.
Oboro on
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MorninglordI'm tired of being Batman,so today I'll be Owl.Registered Userregular
edited November 2008
Oh.
Nice.
I want to investigate trait make up of people under the descriptive ethics paradigm at some point.
Add that one to the list of things I want to do in psych.
Morninglord on
(PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
I wonder if staring into a sufficiently deep canyon is enough to make the viewer call into question the nature of philosophy, or if an actual void is required.
I wonder if staring into a sufficiently deep canyon is enough to make the viewer call into question the nature of philosophy, or if an actual void is required.
But man, the one thing about ethics -- the only thing about ethics -- that I really know is that I'm internally-consistent.
When I was in high school, we had to take one of such tests as the introduction to our Ethics course. I passed that, and thenceforth whenever someone has offered me one -- absolutely certain that I'd fail, just how something like 75% of people do -- I pass unscathed.
Dang ya'll. So I just checked my phone messages and this hella cool girl was messaging me all night but I was too busy to notice.
Super bummer.
I haven't been happy to receive a message on my phone since I was a carefree college student and the reason I was being told "Don't do it, Oboro!" was because I was opting to play World of Warcraft instead of socializing at parties in my dorm, or later in the hotel that they sequestered my kind in.
Oh, to be young again!!
Aren't you older than me?
I turn 21 this December. My life, however, has sort of been counted out in dog years -- insofar as perceptions are concerned -- since I first came out to my parents, five years ago, September. The circumstance is unique and deleterious enough that the DSM-IV describes it definitively;
I suffered a continuous suffering, and a protracted conflict, and an absolute disjointing of my selfhood from my person, and this never let up, and nothing got better, and betrayals were had, and abuse came in flavors as numerous as Baskin Robbins, and nothing ever broke the continuity. There was never respite, and it was always a tornado and never a hurricane because we never even found an eye of the storm to huddle under, for the brief moment, for the one good deep breath that preps you for the next plunge.
Clinically, this is the circumstance that differentiates PTSD from CPTSD: complex post-traumatic stress disorder. PTSD is what happens after you get raped. CTPSD is what happens when the world's raping you, and you've come to grips with the fact that the Earth has far more stamina for the fucking than you have for the enduring.
So what you're saying is that i'm older than you?
Dec 1 I do the 21 thing. I bring in the month that closes out the year. I could lead this into some pretty neat and egotistical shit but nah.
I wonder if staring into a sufficiently deep canyon is enough to make the viewer call into question the nature of philosophy, or if an actual void is required.
Actual void, accept no substitutes.
Well, what if one were a really short philosopher?
Also, holy shit Oboro, that is terrifying screed.
Nerdgasmic on
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MorninglordI'm tired of being Batman,so today I'll be Owl.Registered Userregular
I want to investigate trait make up of people under the descriptive ethics paradigm at some point.
Add that one to the list of things I want to do in psych.
I am to fucking tired to read this post.
I want to continue the scientific observation of what ethical beliefs people have without saying which one is right or wrong.
The traits thing is just the current most popular theory used to figure out a persons personality makeup.
So.
I'm interested if there is any personality makeup that determines any particular style of moral belief or if there are any other possible relationships.
Morninglord on
(PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
I wonder if staring into a sufficiently deep canyon is enough to make the viewer call into question the nature of philosophy, or if an actual void is required.
They're not hard to come up with. Match your vice to the critically-acclaimed film that takes it to the furthest extreme; where no suitable vice or film exists, watch back-to-back at least three critically-acclaimed films wherein awful things happen to absolutely-perfectly-alright persons.
I wonder if staring into a sufficiently deep canyon is enough to make the viewer call into question the nature of philosophy, or if an actual void is required.
Actual void, accept no substitutes.
Well, what if one were a really short philosopher?
Also, holy shit Oboro, that is terrifying screed.
My muse is my many-fingered and very pervasive malaise. I'm awfully boring when I'm satisfied, and an awfully great writer when in my element, writing about my element.
My prose is most often described as unnerving, disquieting, unsettling, or putting the reader in a state of unease.
I did stare into the void, you have to understand. I did.
Well, what if one were a really short philosopher?
Also, holy shit Oboro, that is terrifying screed.
The problem with being a short philosopher is no matter how great you are no one ever calls you deep.
Seriously though even the grand canyon you can see water at the bottom. You need an actual void, something that personifies emptiness to such a degree you mind goes "wow thats deep"
Did you know that my hometown is Canton which is named after Ghuangzhou in China?
That's pretty fucking awesome.
So in a few weeks I have to give a presentation on something Chinese. Any recommendations? It can be anything. Some places culture, tea, the Olympics, anything.
So, like, if I were a terrible celebrity I would watch The Wall?
You got it!! I've never actually seen the film, by the way. Is it a worthwhile romp?
Also:
in case anyone was wondering, I guess also it's easy to be consistent ethically because I'm an inactive determinist. I was formerly an active one, but my cynicism has since overtaken the small part of me that cared enough about plights and lives to do shit like volunteer or aid others. The determinism was a back-burner when I was a devoutly-raised Roman Catholic youth, forgotten in my libertard phase (I did mine in 8th grade, ahead of the curve), and then later adopted in a coup that was probably just a defense mechanism.
The world doesn't really hate me if the parts of it that hate me, the parts of this generation that hate me, the moving-hurling-swinging-harming limbs of that generation, don't really hate me. They don't really hate anything, determinism says. Determinism says that they act, and I am acted upon, and neither of us hate the other.
I can't hate them if they never really hated me, if they were just some other quotient's remainder born from the get-go with the programming to put me down should I -- the it of me, not the who of me -- ever be encountered.
We're all just its, all of us, them and I and everyone. The jeerers call me an it, and I cope because we're all just its in the world that I've built up around me. None of us are any more harrowing than the rest.
I want to continue the scientific observation of what ethical beliefs people have without saying which one is right or wrong.
The traits thing is just the current most popular theory used to figure out a persons personality makeup.
So.
I'm interested if there is any personality makeup that determines any particular style of moral belief or if there are any other possible relationships.
I understood it but my brain responded with "Quesadillas!" which is not the form of response it really deserves.
Ethics on the other hand confuse me. It is not illegal, but your not supposed to do it. That to me is just stupid.
Either something is illegal, or legal. Why the hell do with have this category called ethics where it is not illegal, but your not supposed to do it. Fuck that.
Did you know that my hometown is Canton which is named after Ghuangzhou in China?
That's pretty fucking awesome.
So in a few weeks I have to give a presentation on something Chinese. Any recommendations? It can be anything. Some places culture, tea, the Olympics, anything.
Food man. Everyone loves food. Everyone loves Chinese food. You really can't go wrong on this one.
Even stranger note. I went to a Perry High School which was named after Commodore Perry one of the assholes who invaded Japan. My city is full of asian heritage yet our population is like .008 percent asian. It's hilarious.
Did you know that my hometown is Canton which is named after Ghuangzhou in China?
That's pretty fucking awesome.
So in a few weeks I have to give a presentation on something Chinese. Any recommendations? It can be anything. Some places culture, tea, the Olympics, anything.
Probably too obvious, but one of the four great novels would do the trick.
Posts
Zombie phalla is over dogg.
Zen mei yang motherfucker?
As long as the void stares back, and doesn't just wave affectionately your probably ok.
You are correct its probably better to avoid risking the erosion of what stability you have managed to achieve. Not everyone is as accepting as others. Good friendships take a very long time to cultivate, and not everyone has the capability of accepting other people for who, and what they are.
I suffered a continuous suffering, and a protracted conflict, and an absolute disjointing of my selfhood from my person, and this never let up, and nothing got better, and betrayals were had, and abuse came in flavors as numerous as Baskin Robbins, and nothing ever broke the continuity. There was never respite, and it was always a tornado and never a hurricane because we never even found an eye of the storm to huddle under, for the brief moment, for the one good deep breath that preps you for the next plunge.
Clinically, this is the circumstance that differentiates PTSD from CPTSD: complex post-traumatic stress disorder. PTSD is what happens after you get raped. CTPSD is what happens when the world's raping you, and you've come to grips with the fact that the Earth has far more stamina for the fucking than you have for the enduring.
Nice.
I want to investigate trait make up of people under the descriptive ethics paradigm at some point.
Add that one to the list of things I want to do in psych.
I know moonspeak and not silverware falling down the stairs.
I'm sorry.
I am to fucking tired to read this post.
Actual void, accept no substitutes.
Hao bu hao biaozi?
When I was in high school, we had to take one of such tests as the introduction to our Ethics course. I passed that, and thenceforth whenever someone has offered me one -- absolutely certain that I'd fail, just how something like 75% of people do -- I pass unscathed.
I am consistent. That's a virtue.
So what you're saying is that i'm older than you?
Dec 1 I do the 21 thing. I bring in the month that closes out the year. I could lead this into some pretty neat and egotistical shit but nah.
Also, holy shit Oboro, that is terrifying screed.
I want to continue the scientific observation of what ethical beliefs people have without saying which one is right or wrong.
The traits thing is just the current most popular theory used to figure out a persons personality makeup.
So.
I'm interested if there is any personality makeup that determines any particular style of moral belief or if there are any other possible relationships.
There's your void. Meditate.
i'm not going to give in and retort to your asian language with an asian language.
My prose is most often described as unnerving, disquieting, unsettling, or putting the reader in a state of unease.
I did stare into the void, you have to understand. I did.
DAMN IT.
There ain't never a reason to watch The Wall.
Unless you're stoned, but there ain't never a reason to be stoned.
WHY DO YOU MAKE ME LIE AND DECEIVE?
Yeah, I know.
The problem with being a short philosopher is no matter how great you are no one ever calls you deep.
Seriously though even the grand canyon you can see water at the bottom. You need an actual void, something that personifies emptiness to such a degree you mind goes "wow thats deep"
Did you know that my hometown is Canton which is named after Ghuangzhou in China?
So in a few weeks I have to give a presentation on something Chinese. Any recommendations? It can be anything. Some places culture, tea, the Olympics, anything.
Also:
in case anyone was wondering, I guess also it's easy to be consistent ethically because I'm an inactive determinist. I was formerly an active one, but my cynicism has since overtaken the small part of me that cared enough about plights and lives to do shit like volunteer or aid others. The determinism was a back-burner when I was a devoutly-raised Roman Catholic youth, forgotten in my libertard phase (I did mine in 8th grade, ahead of the curve), and then later adopted in a coup that was probably just a defense mechanism.
The world doesn't really hate me if the parts of it that hate me, the parts of this generation that hate me, the moving-hurling-swinging-harming limbs of that generation, don't really hate me. They don't really hate anything, determinism says. Determinism says that they act, and I am acted upon, and neither of us hate the other.
I can't hate them if they never really hated me, if they were just some other quotient's remainder born from the get-go with the programming to put me down should I -- the it of me, not the who of me -- ever be encountered.
We're all just its, all of us, them and I and everyone. The jeerers call me an it, and I cope because we're all just its in the world that I've built up around me. None of us are any more harrowing than the rest.
I understood it but my brain responded with "Quesadillas!" which is not the form of response it really deserves.
Ethics on the other hand confuse me. It is not illegal, but your not supposed to do it. That to me is just stupid.
Either something is illegal, or legal. Why the hell do with have this category called ethics where it is not illegal, but your not supposed to do it. Fuck that.
Food man. Everyone loves food. Everyone loves Chinese food. You really can't go wrong on this one.
Even stranger note. I went to a Perry High School which was named after Commodore Perry one of the assholes who invaded Japan. My city is full of asian heritage yet our population is like .008 percent asian. It's hilarious.
Probably too obvious, but one of the four great novels would do the trick.
Well that's an interesting euphemism for masturbation.
(Oboro clings to the cast-plastic Starman Super she received as a prize for sweeping the fanfiction awards of the 2006 Starmen.net Holiday Funfest.)
But, well, some people love it ... :x