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Let's Play X-Com: UFO Defense! (ironman, superhuman, starting tech & council funding only)

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    ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    If the position of CAG is open (Commander Air Group), I believe I can supply enough Top Gun and Ace Combat references to keep things entertaining.

    Yeah, well, your ego is writing checks your body can't cash!

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    manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    edited January 2015
    Now look, let me clue you in on something right now. I've given this country twenty two damn, #@!&ing years of my life. Twenty two years! I've seen young boys blown out of the air, over the Pacific. I've seen their guts sprawled all over the rice paddies in Vietnam, so whenever somebody dies for this country, believe me boy, I give a shit! Goddamnit, nobody talks to me like this and I'm not about to start now!

    manwiththemachinegun on
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    Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    TeeMan wrote: »
    It seems curious to me that our race will so readily throw themselves at a significantly superior force with little care of their own personal safety. One wonders, what drives someone to these extremes? I must make an appointment with @Commander Zoom to learn more

    "First of all, it's just 'Zoom'. Long story."

    "Second... I know what's coming. Don't ask how, long story. What I can tell you is there's no way we can win this, not with what we've got. Not with a commander who won't even look at alternate funding or researching advanced gear. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't want to win. He, and whoever put him in charge, just wants to see how we fail - how long it takes for us to run out of money and bodies to throw at the enemy."

    "My one hope - one - is that all of this is some cover op, a distraction, a sideshow being run on the cheap while someone competent handles the actual defense of this planet."

    "So now you're wondering, how did I, with an attitude like this, wind up here? With a sign on the door that says 'Morale Officer', even? Like I said... long story."

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    scherbchenscherbchen Asgard (it is dead)Registered User regular
    Oh My God wrote: »
    If the position of CAG is open (Commander Air Group), I believe I can supply enough Top Gun and Ace Combat references to keep things entertaining.

    That'll be filled once X-COM has more of an Air Wing and less of an Air Duo. I'm guessing it'll be based off of a combined average of confirmed kills, successful sorties, and demonstrated quipping-under-fire abilities.


    The only way you need to establish pilot hierarchy is with beach volleyball.

    like God intended.

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    NotoriusBENNotoriusBEN Registered User regular
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    Steam - NotoriusBEN | Uplay - notoriusben | Xbox,Windows Live - ThatBEN
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    MvrckMvrck Dwarven MountainhomeRegistered User regular
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    wiltingwilting I had fun once and it was awful Registered User regular
    Why am I such a weakling? :(

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    MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
    Well if we're going by beach vollyball I win.

    I up and went onto the sand wearing a tux to fill in because a team was short-handed.

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    BigityBigity Lubbock, TXRegistered User regular
    wilting wrote: »
    Why am I such a weakling? :(

    It's ok son. Not everyone has my access to Grade A steroids.

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    FandaFanda Hang a shining star upon the highest boughRegistered User regular
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    X-Com Order of Battle:
    see317 and YerMum
    Elvenshae and Elderlycrawfish
    Velmeran and theSquid
    Rainfall and wilting
    TeeMan and an_alt

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    Another quality landing zone courtesy of Elvenshae airlines. YerMum tosses a quick proximity grenade onto the UFO's doorstep, and we smoke the Skyranger ramp and interior.

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    The fields to the south are clear of hostiles, and form the southeastern border of our area of operations. Immediately to the west is a barn.

    Because every barn door is an incipient Hellmouth that will disgorge the entire contents of the Cydonian spawning vats at a moment's notice, Elvenshae lobs a proxy just inside.

    Meanwhile, Elderlycrawfish and see317 drop down into the smoke cloud in preparation for a northward reconaissance around the UFO.

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    Goddamn I love proximity grenades.

    We're on turn three, and we've taken out three hostiles without ever making visual contact. A fine start by any measure. However, our most dangerous and implacable foe remains.

    The barn.

    As everyone knows, men and barns have harbored a ferocious mutual animosity toward each other since the dawn of time. Rural communities have long come together for barn razings to combat the monsters in their midst. And for their part, barns have entered into a series of seedy alliances with hostile forces bent on mankind's destruction.

    Luckily, we have just the tool for this job. On every UFO recovery mission, a rocket launcher has been part of the Skyranger's weapons loadout as a contigency against barn aggression. Thus far it's remained stowed in the weapons rack by the landing ramp. But that all changes today.

    Velmeran hoists Barnslayer on her shoulder, takes a knee under the Skyranger's wing, and lets her javelin fly.

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    Her aim is true! The barn's loft erupts in a spray of splintered wood and burning wisps of hay, to the cheers of the entire strike team. With a jubilant heart, YerMum bounds forward for a closer look.

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    While the barn appears to be mortally wounded, two lesser threats have emerged to either side of it. theSquid is in position to land a grenade on the Sectoid around the corner, so that's one problem solved. On Elvenshae's broad shoulders falls responsibility for the other.

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    Nothing connects directly, but when you're firing what amounts to an automatic grenade launcher, close is as good as a hit. The Sectoid is torn to bits by blasts on all sides.

    All that's left to do is to place a new proximity grenade at the UFO door, and we're good to go for next turn.

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    IoloIolo iolo Registered User regular
    Finally, someone is willing to stand up to all the goddamned barn apologists. Speak it, @Fanda!

    Lt. Iolo's First Day
    Steam profile.
    Getting started with BATTLETECH: Part 1 / Part 2
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    ElderlycrawfishElderlycrawfish Registered User regular
    I'm always down for a good old fashioned barn razing.

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    ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Fanda wrote: »
    Another quality landing zone courtesy of Elvenshae airlines.

    Elvenshae Airlines: A UFO in Walking Distance, or Your Money Back! (TM)
    We're on turn three, and we've taken out three hostiles without ever making visual contact. A fine start by any measure. However, our most dangerous and implacable foe remains.

    The barn.

    Durkon x Gazebo Story
    Nothing connects directly, but when you're firing what amounts to an automatic grenade launcher, close is as good as a hit. The Sectoid is torn to bits by blasts on all sides.

    "Almost" only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and nuclear weapons.

    Two outta three ain't bad.

    No - wait. Barn; three-for-three.

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    cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
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    TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    The barn bloodshed in this update is wonderfully gratuitous

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    DuriniaDurinia Evolved from Space Potatoes Registered User regular
    XCOM: where nothing can't be solved with more explosions.

    For business reasons, I must preserve the outward sign of sanity.
    --Mark Twain
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    Rhan9Rhan9 Registered User regular
    Durinia wrote: »
    XCOM: where nothing can't be solved with more explosions.

    True about life in general.

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    FandaFanda Hang a shining star upon the highest boughRegistered User regular
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    With most of the team advancing on the smoldering corpse of the barn, Elderlycrawfish and see317 press north in tandem to reveal the AO's northeastern border. We're all clear on this side of the map.

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    It's like watching tiny gray whales beach themselves.

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    To the south, Velmeran moves up far enough to survey the back fields. All is calm and serene. How are things looking up north, gentlemen?

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    The remaining resistance must be concentrated inside. Unfortunately, see317 is running on empty after his sprint around the UFO, and he's going to have to lean up against the hull and catch his breath for a spell.

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    Surely, surely they must realize by now what will happen to them when they come out that door? I mean, they're supposed to be psychic.

    We've already blown thousands of dollars on skull-shaped pyrotechnics today, and the last proximity grenade we place is going to require another grenade to clear before we can move in.

    In any case, we're fully disembarked from the Skyranger now, so the threat from that angle is diminished. We also have wilting and TeeMan flanking the eastern arm of the UFO, and both of them have superb reactions.

    Let's forego the proxy on the door at this point and set up for a breach instead. I'm sure any remaining Sectoids are hunkered down deep inside, anyway.

    ...

    Mostly sure.

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    Fantastic work, wilting!

    Wait, here comes another -

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    We are very, very lucky that they came around that corner in the order that they did. If the Sectoid with the stun launcher had been first, and the plasma gunner second ...

    Let's not dwell on it. Everyone's still alive, but that stun bomb left us dangerously understaffed on the north side. see317 is our last man standing up there, and his reactions are rubbish.

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    Sergeant TeeMan is going to have to swing around to cover the north, but we need someone with good reactions to take his place on the south side. He'll have to hold for a turn while an_alt moves up to join him.

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    You guys are making me so proud today.

    Go on, TeeMan. Take a peek inside. The rest of them are probably cowering in engeering at this point.

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    Look, I didn't major in Sectoid psychology at university, all right?

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    We could try direct fire, but the angle is pretty poor. Let's stick with what brought us to this dance.

    From up on the northern arm of the UFO, see317 primes a proximity grenade and tosses it to Rainfall, who drops it precisely inside the door.

    If that Sectoid is smart, he'll fall back now and prepare an ambush for us.

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    Inside the UFO, a muffled explosion.

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    Operation Sweaty Patriot nets us our first live alien since Haus Von Trapp's containment facility finished construction. It's a Sectoid Engineer, and it's currently regretting all of its life choices.

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    On the strength of her single proximity grenade kill and her outstanding knowledge of Scandinavian geology, YerMum is promoted from rookie directly to Sergeant.

    She still hasn't fired her rifle in combat.

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    ElderlycrawfishElderlycrawfish Registered User regular
    *yawn* these aliens are babbies, i'm gonna take a nap. Wake me when it's over!

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    Phoenix-DPhoenix-D Registered User regular
    Proximity mine for mvp.

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    cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    Our ground-pounders are getting hit by these stun bombs a lot, we may want to make sure they aren't gonna mess with their health at all.
    *roleplaying*

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    MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
    cB557 wrote: »
    Our ground-pounders are getting hit by these stun bombs a lot, we may want to make sure they aren't gonna mess with their health at all.

    We should investigate the primary mechanism for the knocking out part, I'm sure it would bring us groundbreaking advances in the field of total anesthetics!

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    see317see317 Registered User regular
    MechMantis wrote: »
    cB557 wrote: »
    Our ground-pounders are getting hit by these stun bombs a lot, we may want to make sure they aren't gonna mess with their health at all.

    We should investigate the primary mechanism for the knocking out part, I'm sure it would bring us groundbreaking advances in the field of total anesthetics!
    Not that we'd be allowed to profit by applying that technology.

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    MechMantisMechMantis Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    MechMantis wrote: »
    cB557 wrote: »
    Our ground-pounders are getting hit by these stun bombs a lot, we may want to make sure they aren't gonna mess with their health at all.

    We should investigate the primary mechanism for the knocking out part, I'm sure it would bring us groundbreaking advances in the field of total anesthetics!
    Not that we'd be allowed to profit by applying that technology.

    Hold the fuck on

    Are you suggesting that we would withhold groundbreaking medical technology for PROFIT?!


    Sir I do not think you understand that the X-Com organization was made for the benefit of ALL mankind. Not just the richest members of our species.



    classist.

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    cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    Doesn't matter much, it's not like we'd be able to research them in the first place anyway.

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    FandaFanda Hang a shining star upon the highest boughRegistered User regular
    Honestly, lying on the ground unconscious is probably the safest place to be on these missions.

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    ElderlycrawfishElderlycrawfish Registered User regular
    Look, researching alien technology is for alien sympathizers and losers, we can all agree to that.

    That said, we should keep some of these stun bombs around for....recreational needs.

    I'm not gonna name names, but cB557 someone snores so loud in the barracks that some of us have taken to sleeping under the skyranger engines, which are magnitudes quieter.

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    cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    And some people stay up until ungodly hours at night slathering themselves in muscle butter. You just need one smooth layer, man! Stop dunking buckets of that stuff on yourself or whatever the hell you're doing with it. I swear, they can probably hear that sloshing on the other end of the base.

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    ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    cB557 wrote: »
    And some people stay up until ungodly hours at night slathering themselves in muscle butter. You just need one smooth layer, man! Stop dunking buckets of that stuff on yourself or whatever the hell you're doing with it. I swear, they can probably hear that sloshing on the other end of the base.

    Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my flexxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx.

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    GONG-00GONG-00 Registered User regular
    After the war ends, Dr. Vahlen will be the Queen of Earth's Space Meth trade.

    Black lives matter.
    Law and Order ≠ Justice
    ACNH Island Isla Cero: DA-3082-2045-4142
    Captain of the SES Comptroller of the State
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    Oh My GodOh My God Registered User regular
    edited February 2015
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    Oh My God on
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    FandaFanda Hang a shining star upon the highest boughRegistered User regular
    Oh My God wrote: »
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    This is so perfect, you have no idea. It's like you looked into my mind and photographed my mental image of Bradford.

    <3

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    LanrutconLanrutcon The LabyrinthRegistered User regular
    Just found this thread and caught up: good show so far!

    Question to the informed: are prox grenades part of OpenXcom, or from vanilla?

    Capture.jpg~original
    Currently playing: GW2 and TSW
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    MorninglordMorninglord I'm tired of being Batman, so today I'll be Owl.Registered User regular
    edited February 2015
    cB557 wrote: »
    And some people stay up until ungodly hours at night slathering themselves in muscle butter. You just need one smooth layer, man! Stop dunking buckets of that stuff on yourself or whatever the hell you're doing with it. I swear, they can probably hear that sloshing on the other end of the base.

    I would just like to say that by a quirk of how I scrolled down after accidentally clicking the last page this is the first post I have read in this thread.

    Morninglord on
    (PSN: Morninglord) (Steam: Morninglord) (WiiU: Morninglord22) I like to record and toss up a lot of random gaming videos here.
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    chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Do you think it's trademarked?Registered User regular
    Lanrutcon wrote: »
    Just found this thread and caught up: good show so far!

    Question to the informed: are prox grenades part of OpenXcom, or from vanilla?

    They're in Vanila. Sadly, there's no upgraded version, so they kinda become obsolete before too long.

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    TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    edited February 2015
    The Skyranger smells absolutely terrible and I do not wish to know why, I just need it cleaned. Volunteers? If you make me choose, I'll add muscle butter churning to the list.

    TeeMan on
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    cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    Don't we have people who handle that already?

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    TeeManTeeMan BrainSpoon Registered User regular
    No sir, they were executed as xeno symathisers when @KoopahTroopah overheard a group of them discussing that perhaps enslavement would be preferential to washing more piss-soaked coveralls.

    We've yet to receive replacement applicants.

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    KoopahTroopahKoopahTroopah The koopas, the troopas. Philadelphia, PARegistered User regular
    Well you know, those dang xeno sympathizers...

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    cB557cB557 voOOP Registered User regular
    Good god.
    I will say it again, no unauthorized executions. If you have suspicions, run them by Section 9 and they'll handle it. Next person who shoots a janitor for having a skin condition is getting reassigned to our garrison in North Korea.

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