Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Why is there an immediate assumption that a men's support group is negative simply because it's a men's support group?
because of the high correlation?
You're right, men should just hold it in and never be in groups larger than 2.
Honestly, that's not a bad plan.
Precisely. It's better to be a suicide statistic than it is to risk the danger that a man might let their anger out productively in a group setting.
Holy false dichotomy, Batman.
Although, honestly, I can't imagine anything worse than a group of like 10 cisgender hetero white men
Replace race and gender and we've got quite a fucking comment here, don't we?
Wow.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 gay jew men.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 lesbian black women.
How the fuck
jungleroomx on
+5
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amateurhourOne day I'll be professionalhourThe woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered Userregular
Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Why is there an immediate assumption that a men's support group is negative simply because it's a men's support group?
because of the high correlation?
You're right, men should just hold it in and never be in groups larger than 2.
that is clearly what we are all saying
I'm not addressing "you all" I was addressing specific comments, which is why I quoted them.
no, you're trying to backdoor an MRA argument into [chat], "they all" are telling you it's not welcome.
I mean that's what's happening right now, in case anyone doesn't get it.
Like, go forward from here with that knowledge but christ everyone stop beating around the bush with it.
Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Nah. Gendered support for things that are usually particularly gendered issues isn't a bad idea at all.
I could certainly understand if some woman wouldn't want to be in the middle of a room of distressed men who's trouble is rooted in their wives.
Ah yes, "fuck men in particular", we were overdo for that comment in chat.
I remain not a fan of that sentiment
but it is interesting to figure out why we have such negative reactions to a men's group, whereas for a women's group we'd probably think 'hm, yeah, makes sense, maybe she needs a safe space because she was abused, or like maybe she didn't work or do the finances and now needs help being independent'
...and I don't really like that train of thought either? Yeah, in principle, given the reality that both men and women often feel more comfortable bro'ing out/opening up within gender lines, there's nothing wrong with the concept of gendered support groups.
I guess I will just put out my random thoughts. But the East feels cramped to me. I am not sure there is a better word.
So when I picked up my dog I did 160 mile round trip. Not major driving but it was from VA to the MD/PA border. Lots of side roads through farm country as well. And it felt so small. I am not sure why.
For me driving 80 miles north of Denver is basically Fort Collins, well past Fort Collins towards Cheyenne. But in between always feels full of empty. You hit lots of places with nothing in between. Driving through Maryland it wasn't till I was 60+ miles away did the empty farm land start. It was so odd.
The East always makes me feel crowded and I am not sure what drives it. Even getting out though I feel crowded. Maybe because the population of the city area is the equivalent of the entire state I grew up. I could drive 30 minutes in CO hit one of the parks and see no human souls for hours. Can't do that here.
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knitdanIn ur baseKillin ur guysRegistered Userregular
-signs up for men's support group
-turns out it's all jockstrap salesmen
“I was quick when I came in here, I’m twice as quick now”
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
when I think "men's support group" the image that comes to mind is not dudes dealing with the problems of toxic hyper-masculinity and such. It's a bunch of people who use the word faggot like old telegrams used STOP.
Attacked by tweeeeeeees!
+1
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HakkekageSpace Whore Academysumma cum laudeRegistered Userregular
i think straight white men should habitually get into a circle and touch penises
look, I'm a white cisman so I'm allowed to bag on white cismen
that's how this works
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
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TavIrish Minister for DefenceRegistered Userregular
but like really there are going to be gendered experiences in a lot of divorces
i imagine men's support groups are like 80% "i don't get to see my kids any more"
ain't nothing wrong with wanting to express that with people also sharing the same experience
Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Why is there an immediate assumption that a men's support group is negative simply because it's a men's support group?
because of the high correlation?
You're right, men should just hold it in and never be in groups larger than 2.
Honestly, that's not a bad plan.
Precisely. It's better to be a suicide statistic than it is to risk the danger that a man might let their anger out productively in a group setting.
Holy false dichotomy, Batman.
Although, honestly, I can't imagine anything worse than a group of like 10 cisgender hetero white men
Replace race and gender and we've got quite a fucking comment here, don't we?
Wow.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 gay jew men.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 lesbian black women.
How the fuck
Man being in control of everything in a country for hundreds of years will fuck a group of people up!
You know people using white men like it's a slur is the reason MRAs exist in the first place
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VanguardBut now the dream is over. And the insect is awake.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
listening to a group of men commiserate around their common scorn for the other gender probably has never led to any malicious actions ever you're right
Being able to vent without getting sniped is a healthy part of the coping process.
So yes, I can 100% understand why people would prefer a gendered support group just as much as I 100% understand why women's shelters don't typically allow battered husbands to stay with them.
Jesus Christ.
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
+5
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jungleroomxIt's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovelsRegistered Userregular
Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Why is there an immediate assumption that a men's support group is negative simply because it's a men's support group?
because of the high correlation?
You're right, men should just hold it in and never be in groups larger than 2.
Honestly, that's not a bad plan.
Precisely. It's better to be a suicide statistic than it is to risk the danger that a man might let their anger out productively in a group setting.
Holy false dichotomy, Batman.
Although, honestly, I can't imagine anything worse than a group of like 10 cisgender hetero white men
Replace race and gender and we've got quite a fucking comment here, don't we?
Wow.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 gay jew men.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 lesbian black women.
How the fuck
Man being in control of everything in a country for hundreds of years will fuck a group of people up!
Being an reasonable fuckhead to people you don't know is a shitty fucking attitude. So fuck you.
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HakkekageSpace Whore Academysumma cum laudeRegistered Userregular
Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Why is there an immediate assumption that a men's support group is negative simply because it's a men's support group?
because of the high correlation?
You're right, men should just hold it in and never be in groups larger than 2.
Honestly, that's not a bad plan.
Precisely. It's better to be a suicide statistic than it is to risk the danger that a man might let their anger out productively in a group setting.
Holy false dichotomy, Batman.
Although, honestly, I can't imagine anything worse than a group of like 10 cisgender hetero white men
Replace race and gender and we've got quite a fucking comment here, don't we?
Wow.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 gay jew men.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 lesbian black women.
How the fuck
Is this a joke? Because yeah you totally change the context and meaning of a sentence and it means something else. Woop de fucking doo.
Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Why is there an immediate assumption that a men's support group is negative simply because it's a men's support group?
because of the high correlation?
Still, I think it's a legit disservice to a group that may be trying to help folks without knowing. Nothing about what that therapist said sounds unreasonable.
+1
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jungleroomxIt's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovelsRegistered Userregular
Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Why is there an immediate assumption that a men's support group is negative simply because it's a men's support group?
because of the high correlation?
You're right, men should just hold it in and never be in groups larger than 2.
Honestly, that's not a bad plan.
Precisely. It's better to be a suicide statistic than it is to risk the danger that a man might let their anger out productively in a group setting.
Holy false dichotomy, Batman.
Although, honestly, I can't imagine anything worse than a group of like 10 cisgender hetero white men
Replace race and gender and we've got quite a fucking comment here, don't we?
Wow.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 gay jew men.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 lesbian black women.
How the fuck
Is this a joke? Because yeah you totally change the context and meaning of a sentence and it means something else. Woop de fucking doo.
listening to a group of men commiserate around their common scorn for the other gender probably has never led to any malicious actions ever you're right
Well i've been in dozens of women's bathrooms bitching about men being scumbags and now women control the world's governments and Hillary Clinton is president
3DS: 2165 - 6538 - 3417
NNID: Hakkekage
+4
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amateurhourOne day I'll be professionalhourThe woods somewhere in TennesseeRegistered Userregular
lol I should have left chat 2 pages ago when it was good music and the "am I pregnant" girl y'all fucking have fun with this nonsense.
Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Why is there an immediate assumption that a men's support group is negative simply because it's a men's support group?
because of the high correlation?
You're right, men should just hold it in and never be in groups larger than 2.
that is clearly what we are all saying
I'm not addressing "you all" I was addressing specific comments, which is why I quoted them.
no, you're trying to backdoor an MRA argument into [chat], "they all" are telling you it's not welcome.
I mean that's what's happening right now, in case anyone doesn't get it.
Like, go forward from here with that knowledge but christ everyone stop beating around the bush with it.
I'm not trying to backdoor an MRA argument into anything. Pointing out a bias isn't inherently MRA. So you can fuck off with that noise.
I'm pointing out that a bias that a support group for men going through an emotionally devastating event is shitty. I wish that it wasn't such a strong bias because perhaps my father wouldn't have felt like he had to deal with suicidal thoughts (and attempts) alone for the last ten years of his life.
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HakkekageSpace Whore Academysumma cum laudeRegistered Userregular
i think straight white men should habitually get into a circle and touch penises
I think it would be good therapy
am I pregnant now?
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Why is there an immediate assumption that a men's support group is negative simply because it's a men's support group?
because of the high correlation?
You're right, men should just hold it in and never be in groups larger than 2.
Honestly, that's not a bad plan.
Precisely. It's better to be a suicide statistic than it is to risk the danger that a man might let their anger out productively in a group setting.
Holy false dichotomy, Batman.
Although, honestly, I can't imagine anything worse than a group of like 10 cisgender hetero white men
Replace race and gender and we've got quite a fucking comment here, don't we?
Wow.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 gay jew men.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 lesbian black women.
How the fuck
Man being in control of everything in a country for hundreds of years will fuck a group of people up!
Being an reasonable fuckhead to people you don't know is a shitty fucking attitude. So fuck you.
I mean, of course there are arrangements of 10 of us that wouldn't be terrible but, like, on average? I dunno man!
uh I think you need to be a mod to start a thread already locked
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Why is there an immediate assumption that a men's support group is negative simply because it's a men's support group?
The lack of good support groups for men and the previlence of bad support groups for men are directly related.
It is simultaneously true that men in particular need more access to focused quality social and psychological care and that most groups that focus on men exclusively are garbage and reinforce self destructive behaviors.
Also when non-sexist support groups start to form, they often end up devolving into sexist groups.
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
Posts
Replace race and gender and we've got quite a fucking comment here, don't we?
Wow.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 gay jew men.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 lesbian black women.
How the fuck
no, you're trying to backdoor an MRA argument into [chat], "they all" are telling you it's not welcome.
I mean that's what's happening right now, in case anyone doesn't get it.
Like, go forward from here with that knowledge but christ everyone stop beating around the bush with it.
I'm on the outside
Of the bar and I'm lookin in
Nah. Gendered support for things that are usually particularly gendered issues isn't a bad idea at all.
I could certainly understand if some woman wouldn't want to be in the middle of a room of distressed men who's trouble is rooted in their wives.
I remain not a fan of that sentiment
but it is interesting to figure out why we have such negative reactions to a men's group, whereas for a women's group we'd probably think 'hm, yeah, makes sense, maybe she needs a safe space because she was abused, or like maybe she didn't work or do the finances and now needs help being independent'
...and I don't really like that train of thought either? Yeah, in principle, given the reality that both men and women often feel more comfortable bro'ing out/opening up within gender lines, there's nothing wrong with the concept of gendered support groups.
all very hetero-assuming here of course
So when I picked up my dog I did 160 mile round trip. Not major driving but it was from VA to the MD/PA border. Lots of side roads through farm country as well. And it felt so small. I am not sure why.
For me driving 80 miles north of Denver is basically Fort Collins, well past Fort Collins towards Cheyenne. But in between always feels full of empty. You hit lots of places with nothing in between. Driving through Maryland it wasn't till I was 60+ miles away did the empty farm land start. It was so odd.
The East always makes me feel crowded and I am not sure what drives it. Even getting out though I feel crowded. Maybe because the population of the city area is the equivalent of the entire state I grew up. I could drive 30 minutes in CO hit one of the parks and see no human souls for hours. Can't do that here.
-turns out it's all jockstrap salesmen
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
I think it would be good therapy
NNID: Hakkekage
that's how this works
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
i imagine men's support groups are like 80% "i don't get to see my kids any more"
ain't nothing wrong with wanting to express that with people also sharing the same experience
Man being in control of everything in a country for hundreds of years will fuck a group of people up!
Not with that attitude.
So yes, I can 100% understand why people would prefer a gendered support group just as much as I 100% understand why women's shelters don't typically allow battered husbands to stay with them.
Jesus Christ.
Being an reasonable fuckhead to people you don't know is a shitty fucking attitude. So fuck you.
correlation =/= causation
NNID: Hakkekage
Is this a joke? Because yeah you totally change the context and meaning of a sentence and it means something else. Woop de fucking doo.
YOURE NOT MY DAD
Still, I think it's a legit disservice to a group that may be trying to help folks without knowing. Nothing about what that therapist said sounds unreasonable.
And you.
Not again!
Well i've been in dozens of women's bathrooms bitching about men being scumbags and now women control the world's governments and Hillary Clinton is president
NNID: Hakkekage
Buuut it comes out over a month after The Dark Tower movie.
And we still don't have a Dark Tower trailer?
WHERE IS IT DAMNIT
At least IT looks great, hope they have some DT references.
I'm not trying to backdoor an MRA argument into anything. Pointing out a bias isn't inherently MRA. So you can fuck off with that noise.
I'm pointing out that a bias that a support group for men going through an emotionally devastating event is shitty. I wish that it wasn't such a strong bias because perhaps my father wouldn't have felt like he had to deal with suicidal thoughts (and attempts) alone for the last ten years of his life.
oh boy i'm going to refer you to a specialist
NNID: Hakkekage
am I pregnant now?
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
I mean, of course there are arrangements of 10 of us that wouldn't be terrible but, like, on average? I dunno man!
Yes.
With suspense
Yes
it's a girl, of course
Oh and we're Gerudos now
NNID: Hakkekage
uh I think you need to be a mod to start a thread already locked
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
Also when non-sexist support groups start to form, they often end up devolving into sexist groups.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.