Yesterday a therapist suggested that I could try going to a men's divorce support group
"I, uh... look I'm sorry but why would that even be gendered? That seems kinda dumb."
"Ah! Well. Lots of people who are getting divorced, they often become unreasonably angry when they interact with someone the same gender as their ex-spouse. So gender segregation is usually the least risky way to organize a support group."
So like that group's gotta be like an MRA soft pitch right?
Why is there an immediate assumption that a men's support group is negative simply because it's a men's support group?
because of the high correlation?
You're right, men should just hold it in and never be in groups larger than 2.
Honestly, that's not a bad plan.
Precisely. It's better to be a suicide statistic than it is to risk the danger that a man might let their anger out productively in a group setting.
Holy false dichotomy, Batman.
Although, honestly, I can't imagine anything worse than a group of like 10 cisgender hetero white men
Replace race and gender and we've got quite a fucking comment here, don't we?
Wow.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 gay jew men.
Can't imagine anything worse than a group of like, 10 lesbian black women.
How the fuck
Man being in control of everything in a country for hundreds of years will fuck a group of people up!
Being an reasonable fuckhead to people you don't know is a shitty fucking attitude. So fuck you.
I mean, of course there are arrangements of 10 of us that wouldn't be terrible but l, like, on average? I dunno man!
Sounds incredibly shitty.
If someone said that about black men you'd call them a racist, and you'd be right.
Your attitude sucks, and picking a certain target that is en vogue for other groups of people is not an excusable methodology.
I don't know that it's stylish or whatever but lots of white men voted to like build a wall and shit! It's weird. I don't want these things but people that are like me do. Most people like me, even.
63% of white men who voted /= all
And a lot of them didn't vote for Trump so much as they voted against Hillary Clinton. Apparently she has a great many detractors.
i mean, most white people aren't even american so your generalisation is waaaay off base
I think I don't have very gendered emotional needs or problems
And I do not relate very well with bros who need to get their bro on
So a gendered support group sounded to me like a bad time
Some people have irrational resentment towards others. Sometimes the only way to work through that irrational resentment is to talk to others they don't irrationally resent until they can heal from a horrible situation they went through.
You may not feel the same way, but if we're going to afford women these things then men should have the same and not be immediately thought of as MRA broskis just looking to shit on women.
I think you might be confounding me a bit with people whose comments were more aggressive?
I think for me it would be an unhelpful and uncomfortable environment, so I have no desire to subject myself to it
Everyones different, I apologize if I came off a little heated.
If that isn't your thing, then it's not. The purpose is just to work through the problem, and for a lot of people (myself in included), you sort of get this irrational set of emotions after being kicked to the curb.
But again, we all need to heal. We just all heal a bit differently.
It's fine; I don't think you were rude or anything
I don't think it's ridiculous or unnecessary to have gendered support groups, but also, in the abstract, I am offended by the social conditions which create a need for them
I made a game! Hotline Maui. Requires mouse and keyboard.
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ChanusHarbinger of the Spicy Rooster ApocalypseThe Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered Userregular
I think I would feel better in a makeout party if I were blindfolded, the psychoanalysis of which I don't really want to examine under the hood
i'm sure in that situation there will be a lot of examination under the hood
Ah yes, the Roman tradition of pulling the back of the toga over the head in religious ceremonies under which much inward reflection was presumed to occur
But for real though I was born in Brooklyn, take from that what you will re: under the hood, you pervert
Eddy on
"and the morning stars I have seen
and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
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Captain Ultralow resolution pictures of birdsRegistered Userregular
side question, why would we assume that only white men are attending the support group?
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HakkekageSpace Whore Academysumma cum laudeRegistered Userregular
Breaking it down ultra-simplistically, men, especially white men, have held a position of power and privilege in the various societies and cultures of the world since the dawn of society and culture. They've gotten up to some pretty heinous shit. No one here will disagree with this, I trust.
Some of us who are members of this group but actively attempt to "be better" and treat everyone as equals get tired of modern western culture making us the villains. We acknowledge that men have historically been dicks. We spend a lot of time introspecting and improving ourselves so as not to fall into those same behavioral patterns and assumptions, and we do not want to be judged for our anatomy or skin color any more than the groups our group has historically repressed.
I am certain some people are thinking "tough shit" as they read that last sentence. This is the reality of the situation. For many in society, it's not about equality. It cannot be about equality, because the only way to achieve "equality" is via retribution. The oppressed cannot truly be equal until the former oppressors have been subjugated. There must be punishment before the situation can feel just.
And there is nothing that can, or should, be done about it.
I acknowledge that my view of humanity and power dynamics is fairly pessimistic, but neither do I feel that my assessment is wrong. Human history is the study of conflict, and I don't see any end to this. There will always be tribes that seek to hold their power and subjugate outsiders, and there will always be outsiders seeking to become the new oppressors. This is the way we are.
Yeah
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SurfpossumA nonentitytrying to preserve the anonymity he so richly deserves.Registered Userregular
I think I don't have very gendered emotional needs or problems
And I do not relate very well with bros who need to get their bro on
So a gendered support group sounded to me like a bad time
Some people have irrational resentment towards others. Sometimes the only way to work through that irrational resentment is to talk to others they don't irrationally resent until they can heal from a horrible situation they went through.
You may not feel the same way, but if we're going to afford women these things then men should have the same and not be immediately thought of as MRA broskis just looking to shit on women.
I think you might be confounding me a bit with people whose comments were more aggressive?
I think for me it would be an unhelpful and uncomfortable environment, so I have no desire to subject myself to it
Everyones different, I apologize if I came off a little heated.
If that isn't your thing, then it's not. The purpose is just to work through the problem, and for a lot of people (myself in included), you sort of get this irrational set of emotions after being kicked to the curb.
But again, we all need to heal. We just all heal a bit differently.
It's fine; I don't think you were rude or anything
I don't think it's ridiculous or unnecessary to have gendered support groups, but also, in the abstract, I am offended by the social conditions which create a need for them
Breaking it down ultra-simplistically, men, especially white men, have held a position of power and privilege in the various societies and cultures of the world since the dawn of society and culture. They've gotten up to some pretty heinous shit. No one here will disagree with this, I trust.
Some of us who are members of this group but actively attempt to "be better" and treat everyone as equals get tired of modern western culture making us the villains. We acknowledge that men have historically been dicks. We spend a lot of time introspecting and improving ourselves so as not to fall into those same behavioral patterns and assumptions, and we do not want to be judged for our anatomy or skin color any more than the groups our group has historically repressed.
I am certain some people are thinking "tough shit" as they read that last sentence. This is the reality of the situation. For many in society, it's not about equality. It cannot be about equality, because the only way to achieve "equality" is via retribution. The oppressed cannot truly be equal until the former oppressors have been subjugated. There must be punishment before the situation can feel just.
And there is nothing that can, or should, be done about it.
I acknowledge that my view of humanity and power dynamics is fairly pessimistic, but neither do I feel that my assessment is wrong. Human history is the study of conflict, and I don't see any end to this. There will always be tribes that seek to hold their power and subjugate outsiders, and there will always be outsiders seeking to become the new oppressors. This is the way we are.
Yeah
Nah
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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zepherinRussian warship, go fuck yourselfRegistered Userregular
Breaking it down ultra-simplistically, men, especially white men, have held a position of power and privilege in the various societies and cultures of the world since the dawn of society and culture. They've gotten up to some pretty heinous shit. No one here will disagree with this, I trust.
Some of us who are members of this group but actively attempt to "be better" and treat everyone as equals get tired of modern western culture making us the villains. We acknowledge that men have historically been dicks. We spend a lot of time introspecting and improving ourselves so as not to fall into those same behavioral patterns and assumptions, and we do not want to be judged for our anatomy or skin color any more than the groups our group has historically repressed.
I am certain some people are thinking "tough shit" as they read that last sentence. This is the reality of the situation. For many in society, it's not about equality. It cannot be about equality, because the only way to achieve "equality" is via retribution. The oppressed cannot truly be equal until the former oppressors have been subjugated. There must be punishment before the situation can feel just.
And there is nothing that can, or should, be done about it.
I acknowledge that my view of humanity and power dynamics is fairly pessimistic, but neither do I feel that my assessment is wrong. Human history is the study of conflict, and I don't see any end to this. There will always be tribes that seek to hold their power and subjugate outsiders, and there will always be outsiders seeking to become the new oppressors. This is the way we are.
Yeah
Nah
Gah
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HakkekageSpace Whore Academysumma cum laudeRegistered Userregular
yo so last week I was watching Samantha Bee clips in the morning before work and turned on this clip
and within the first 2 seconds of thr segment I'm like WTF...that's...Clydz?! The bar I hung out in all the time in college?
WTF? Charlie Kratovil?? I KNOW THAT GUY. I toked up with that guy. I fucking moved into his (GROSS, NASTY-ASS) apartment in senior year after he left it!
Breaking it down ultra-simplistically, men, especially white men, have held a position of power and privilege in the various societies and cultures of the world since the dawn of society and culture. They've gotten up to some pretty heinous shit. No one here will disagree with this, I trust.
Some of us who are members of this group but actively attempt to "be better" and treat everyone as equals get tired of modern western culture making us the villains. We acknowledge that men have historically been dicks. We spend a lot of time introspecting and improving ourselves so as not to fall into those same behavioral patterns and assumptions, and we do not want to be judged for our anatomy or skin color any more than the groups our group has historically repressed.
I am certain some people are thinking "tough shit" as they read that last sentence. This is the reality of the situation. For many in society, it's not about equality. It cannot be about equality, because the only way to achieve "equality" is via retribution. The oppressed cannot truly be equal until the former oppressors have been subjugated. There must be punishment before the situation can feel just.
And there is nothing that can, or should, be done about it.
I acknowledge that my view of humanity and power dynamics is fairly pessimistic, but neither do I feel that my assessment is wrong. Human history is the study of conflict, and I don't see any end to this. There will always be tribes that seek to hold their power and subjugate outsiders, and there will always be outsiders seeking to become the new oppressors. This is the way we are.
I guess the problem is a lot of former/current oppressors see actual equality as being oppressed instead of being equal
because they've never been on the shit side of the stick
IMO this is why we're getting our current regressive backlash to demographic shifts as the groups that historically have held all the keys are faced with becoming mere pluralities instead of majorities.
like a great philosopher once said, "This is the worst kind of discrimination; the kind against me."
life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
Coincidentally, I would never even fathom joining a support group of any stripe, due directly to my rather dim view of humanity in generally, especially when we form groups.
I know there was also an actual game adaptation of Murder on the Orient Express but apparently you don't play as Poirot but like you're his assistant or something what is this bullshit
There's a men's support group run by a guy that works for my company who is Mexican, they talk about relationships, kids, and a little bit of veterans PTSD stuff
I think he's trying to steal white culture by hosting a support group because that's our thing
I would honestly like to prolong that hesitation and intimacy right before the kiss, that's what I really want from a quickly-becoming-real blindfolded chat makeout session
Just that moment of near-connection...
carbonite freeze me as I am about to kiss a beautiful puppy, for ever
Eddy on
"and the morning stars I have seen
and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
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ChanusHarbinger of the Spicy Rooster ApocalypseThe Flames of a Thousand Collapsed StarsRegistered Userregular
Coincidentally, I would never even fathom joining a support group of any stripe, due directly to my rather dim view of humanity in generally, especially when we form groups.
I dunno. I've gone to support a friend in AA and it really helps.
I would honestly like to prolong that hesitation and intimacy right before the kiss, that's what I really want from a quickly-becoming-real blindfolded chat makeout session
carbonite freeze me as I am about to kiss a beautiful puppy, for ever
oh eddy once again you suffer from the eternal ennui of desiring only anticipation but never savoring the catch smh
I would honestly like to prolong that hesitation and intimacy right before the kiss, that's what I really want from a quickly-becoming-real blindfolded chat makeout session
Just that moment of near-connection...
carbonite freeze me as I am about to kiss a beautiful puppy, for ever
There's a men's support group run by a guy that works for my company who is Mexican, they talk about relationships, kids, and a little bit of veterans PTSD stuff
I think he's trying to steal white culture by hosting a support group because that's our thing
No, stealing culture is our thing. He needs to stop appropriating our appropriation.
Two goats enter, one car leaves
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HakkekageSpace Whore Academysumma cum laudeRegistered Userregular
I would honestly like to prolong that hesitation and intimacy right before the kiss, that's what I really want from a quickly-becoming-real blindfolded chat makeout session
Just that moment of near-connection...
carbonite freeze me as I am about to kiss a beautiful puppy, for ever
Posts
i'm sure in that situation there will be a lot of examination under the hood
NNID: Hakkekage
Same.
The upside of my new work is that I'm afforded the chance to walk across Boston proper every day
My ethnocentrism!
More games should be set on trains
It's fine; I don't think you were rude or anything
I don't think it's ridiculous or unnecessary to have gendered support groups, but also, in the abstract, I am offended by the social conditions which create a need for them
according to the principles of general relativity if your game were set on a train with blacked out windows you wouldn't even know
I've done this
Ah yes, the Roman tradition of pulling the back of the toga over the head in religious ceremonies under which much inward reflection was presumed to occur
But for real though I was born in Brooklyn, take from that what you will re: under the hood, you pervert
and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
Is there a Murder on the Orient Express type game
I'm sure there is
would be a cool thing to adapt to a mobile game
NNID: Hakkekage
we know
NNID: Hakkekage
not sure if i can think of a whiter thing than a men's support group
You might mistake me for Delmain or Hakks
What's he hiding.
Nah
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
Gah
and within the first 2 seconds of thr segment I'm like WTF...that's...Clydz?! The bar I hung out in all the time in college?
WTF? Charlie Kratovil?? I KNOW THAT GUY. I toked up with that guy. I fucking moved into his (GROSS, NASTY-ASS) apartment in senior year after he left it!
It was such a holy shit moment I'm still reeling
NNID: Hakkekage
I guess the problem is a lot of former/current oppressors see actual equality as being oppressed instead of being equal
because they've never been on the shit side of the stick
IMO this is why we're getting our current regressive backlash to demographic shifts as the groups that historically have held all the keys are faced with becoming mere pluralities instead of majorities.
like a great philosopher once said, "This is the worst kind of discrimination; the kind against me."
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
men's support drum circle
Yeah
edit: whoops, mixed up two digits. Hillary did get slightly fewer votes than Obama.
i was going to say i remember the Cluedo point and click game was set on a train but after some googling it turns out it was actually a boat
boo
http://store.steampowered.com/app/252710/
I know there was also an actual game adaptation of Murder on the Orient Express but apparently you don't play as Poirot but like you're his assistant or something what is this bullshit
I think he's trying to steal white culture by hosting a support group because that's our thing
Just that moment of near-connection...
carbonite freeze me as I am about to kiss a beautiful puppy, for ever
and the gengars who are guiding me" -- W.S. Merwin
yeah it should be fewer
Trump had a few million more than Romney, and Hillary had about as many as Obama?
oh eddy once again you suffer from the eternal ennui of desiring only anticipation but never savoring the catch smh
NNID: Hakkekage
@Powerpuppies !?
No, stealing culture is our thing. He needs to stop appropriating our appropriation.
Puppies is dead
he died of longing unfulfilled
NNID: Hakkekage