Options

[Bad Food Thread] "I'd stick with soylent. Never know what chimera that meat came from..."

12930323435100

Posts

  • Options
    VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    Has anyone here ever actually tried tinned whole chicken?

  • Options
    NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    Veldrin wrote: »
    Has anyone here ever actually tried tinned whole chicken?

    I wish I could forget that this exists.

  • Options
    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited April 2017
    Veldrin wrote: »
    Has anyone here ever actually tried tinned whole chicken?

    I did, once! I always thought that Whole Chicken In a Can was the funniest product ever, and whenever we were in the grocery store I'd grab one and tilt it up and down next to my sister so she'd get skeeved out by the noise it made sliding around in the can.

    So for a while, the running joke was that what I wanted for my birthday or Christmas was a whole chicken in a can. And one year I ended up getting one as a stocking stuffer.

    My mom used it to make a pot of chicken and dumplings. It was pretty much exactly as tasty as any batch of chicken and dumplings she's ever made. As long as you're not trying to present it on a platter like a Thanksgiving turkey, there's nothing about the canning process that would make canned chicken less tasty than freshly boiled chicken. If anything, it was slightly more tender, which is always welcome in chicken soup.

    Edit: Sorry, guys, that wasn't a very good bad food story. My granddad would eat cold Vienna sausages out of the can and pour the juice on a slice of bread, if that makes up for it.

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • Options
    NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    I am very disappointed in your very reasonable story. Tell me how awful it was. I need it.

    (though honestly, using it as something to break apart and use as part of another meal seems like the best use)

  • Options
    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited April 2017
    Sadly, canning food mostly consists of "boil it, then put it in an airtight container with enough liquid to displace the air." That does terrible things to some vegetables, but is not a terrible fate for a whole chicken.

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • Options
    VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    Jedoc, please describe in detail the sounds the whole boiled chicken made when it was extracted from the can.

  • Options
    DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    I hard boiled some eggs and put them in a jar of pickled peppers

    Pepperoncini? Peppers

  • Options
    LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    i don't think i'm particularly fond of the idea of boiling a chicken


    like i've done it before to make a japanese stock for ramen (i went through a thing a bit ago where i learnt how to make a full proper bowl of ramen with chashu, half-cooked eggs, two different stocks and simmered fat), but the chicken itself didn't end up coming out all that nice.

    and all the other times have been more along the lines of stewing it on the bones and then taking the bones out later

  • Options
    LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    i just realised that the way i made chashu also involved simmering it in water with a bit of sauce for a few hours so i guess that i'm not really opposed to the idea

    it's just that "boiling" is a real bad way to describe how to cook it.

  • Options
    VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    Yeah I'm not a big fan of boiled chicken generally either.

    Though I do like Singaporean chicken rice, which just tastes weird and wrong if it's done with roast or baked chicken.

  • Options
    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    Veldrin wrote: »
    Jedoc, please describe in detail the sounds the whole boiled chicken made when it was extracted from the can.

    INT. RESIDENTIAL KITCHEN - NIGHT

    WHOLE CHICKEN IN A CAN, a whole chicken in a can, is held suspended by MOM, a determined yet skeptical chef, upside down over a pot. There is no movement, no sound. The GELATINOUS MATRIX surrounding the WHOLE CHICKEN IN A CAN glistens. From around the corner, the REST OF THE FAMILY observes in trepidation.

    MOM: [Vigorously thumps the bottom of the can.]

    WHOLE CHICKEN IN A CAN: Schllllllooooorp-BLORP-plop.

    FAMILY: HLEEAAHHHurkurkBLLEAAHH

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • Options
    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    I like the cold kind.

    Boiling meat is super critical for lots of Korean stews and soups, which are hands-down the best stews and soups in the world, so...

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
  • Options
    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    edited April 2017
    Lalabox wrote: »
    i just realised that the way i made chashu also involved simmering it in water with a bit of sauce for a few hours so i guess that i'm not really opposed to the idea

    it's just that "boiling" is a real bad way to describe how to cook it.

    I mean, there are good ways and bad ways to cook a chicken in hot liquid. I think most of the good ways come closer to "poaching" than "boiling," but the poaching people get real snitty if you try and deviate from a strict definition.

    Jedoc on
    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • Options
    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    There is a combined gif of Shakira shaking her butt and one of those canned chickens being dumped out, but I'm not going to post it here because I don't want to get myself banned and another image added to the scanners.gif list of banned images.

  • Options
    VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    Chris, I've been thinking about that exact gif since this conversation started but didn't want to be the person to go there, so you have my thanks.

  • Options
    LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    i think that whenever someone talks about boiling a whole chicken i just think about putting a chicken into a huge pot of plain water with a pinch of salt that's going at rolling boil and the largely tasteless mess that would result from that


    simmering and poaching in sauces is good

  • Options
    Donovan PuppyfuckerDonovan Puppyfucker A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered User regular
    Lalabox wrote: »
    i think that whenever someone talks about boiling a whole chicken i just think about putting a chicken into a huge pot of plain water with a pinch of salt that's going at rolling boil and the largely tasteless mess that would result from that


    simmering and poaching in sauces is good

    Steaming a chicken results in juicy tender meat in my experience.

  • Options
    bowenbowen How you doin'? Registered User regular
    why would you eat canned chicken

    not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
  • Options
    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    the kind that comes in the hockey puck-shaped cans is actually pretty good for chicken salad and that sort of thing

    canned whole chicken is not good though

  • Options
    JedocJedoc In the scuppers with the staggers and jagsRegistered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    why would you eat canned chicken

    Because the canned tuna was all the way across the road.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • Options
    MaximumMaximum Registered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    why would you eat canned chicken

    The only reason I can think of is that you're a judge on Chopped.

  • Options
    NightDragonNightDragon 6th Grade Username Registered User regular
    Well boiling a whole chicken (more or less) is how you get delicious, flavorful chicken broth, so...there has to be a right way to do it!

    The only time I've done anything vaguely similar is when I make chicken soup, but a mini version since it's just for me. Whole chicken breast goes into "pretty much done already" stew/soup. ~15-20 minutes later, I take out the chicken and cut it up, and return it to the pot. Stir around once, remove from heat.

    I used to cut it up beforehand but it actually made the chicken dry out a whole lot (and I had to handle raw chicken, blarg). Apparently cooking it whole keeps it moist.

  • Options
    LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    Well boiling a whole chicken (more or less) is how you get delicious, flavorful chicken broth, so...there has to be a right way to do it!

    The only time I've done anything vaguely similar is when I make chicken soup, but a mini version since it's just for me. Whole chicken breast goes into "pretty much done already" stew/soup. ~15-20 minutes later, I take out the chicken and cut it up, and return it to the pot. Stir around once, remove from heat.

    I used to cut it up beforehand but it actually made the chicken dry out a whole lot (and I had to handle raw chicken, blarg). Apparently cooking it whole keeps it moist.

    oh yeah i once had a lot of fun with making a chicken broth using a whole chicken, feet included

    it was just that after several hours i had a fantastic tasting soup, but the meat itself had to be strained since it was just soggy and tasteless at that point.

    doing it for a shorter amount of time in a stew must be nice

    i've tried to do the whole cooking chicken in a broth with noodles and mushrooms and etc once, although like you said it got pretty dry by the end. doing it whole and then chopping it up would be good.

  • Options
    Commander ZoomCommander Zoom Registered User regular
    edited April 2017
    Boiling my chicken (not an innuendo) (except I guess it is now) is how I've come to prefer preparing it for chicken and rice and similar dishes.
    Take n chicken breasts, chop 'em up into chunks, drop them in a stock pot with some water. Turn on the stove, walk away, come back when the chicken chunks are cooked through.
    Pour off the broth (pretty weak - I could reduce it, I guess, but this is all very minimal-effort) into jars or other containers, refrigerate it to make the rice with later.
    Put the chicken chunks into another container ("sampling" a few, of course, like cookie dough) and refrigerate it too.

    Commander Zoom on
  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    Jedoc wrote: »
    Shorty wrote: »
    sarukun wrote: »
    jgeis wrote: »
    see317 wrote: »
    cabsy wrote: »
    Veldrin wrote: »
    Lalabox wrote: »
    Veldrin wrote: »
    Lalabox wrote: »
    Veldrin wrote: »
    Lalabox wrote: »
    it's just chickens covered in white sauce

    so awful chicken then

    sure, it doesn't sound that nice, especially since they apparently do boil the chickens

    but it's not profoundly awful or anything

    it's not incomprehensibly awful

    they're not encasing it in jelly or anything

    Oh no, I just hate white sauce.

    what is your opinion on lasagne?

    Depending on the amount of white sauce, it ranges from "ugh" to "hurk".

    what if I told you you could make lasagna without bechamel

    what if I told you it is in fact way better to mix ricotta with a raw egg and enough garlic to kill a horse and use that to bind together your lasagna

    Personally, I'd be shocked to discover there are people who make lasagna any other way.

    Yeah, this is 100% the American way to make lasagna. I've never made it the traditional Italian way.

    This is it.


    This is where I kill America.

    Did I ever mention how my in-laws make "lasagna"? It involves a stale bag of white bread, a couple packs of American cheese singles and a jar and half of pasta sauce.

    the Midwest is truly a place of culinary nightmares

    my stepmom once went back to her home state of Missouri and returned with a tale of some tuna salad she was offered by some desiccated relative or other

    I forget exactly what was in it because my mind was reeling too hard after the first two ingredients, which were tuna salad and lime jell-o

    294755024826a50ab5157b69d55933b1.jpg

    Those "radish roses" look like they were cut by a lazy toddler.

  • Options
    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    I like the cold kind.

    Boiling meat is super critical for lots of Korean stews and soups, which are hands-down the best stews and soups in the world, so...

    Choose your weapon.

  • Options
    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    The one time I made stock with chicken I roasted the chicken first, then salvaged as much meat as possible for eating later and just used the skeleton in the pot.

    Still made a delicious stock that I probably shouldn't have consumed in as few meals as I did

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
  • Options
    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    Does boiling a chicken make is tender or tough?

  • Options
    Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    very tender. like, fall off the bone tender

    ya'll never put in some drumsticks in a chicken soup?

    wY6K6Jb.gif
  • Options
    PinfeldorfPinfeldorf Yeah ZestRegistered User regular
    I've had matzoh ball soup where the chicken was boiled for long enough that the bones were barely even a noticeable obstacle to eating the drumsticks in the soup. The bone tasted a little funny but the marrow was so goddamn good.

    Of course I feel like some kind of monster for casually mentioning how good marrow tastes.

  • Options
    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    I've never done that no, but I'm not a big chicken soup fan to begin with.

    And in most curries, I tend to use boneless chicken (deboned chicken thighs are my favourite) as it's easier to eat.

  • Options
    Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited April 2017
    nah dog, marrow is choice

    there's this dish called chulnt in european jewish cooking, it's basically kosher poor people food left over to cook in the oven during the weekend - legumes and hard boiled eggs and the leftover bits of meat (also kishke, which is basically hagis); this sometimes also includes a piece of beef bone, usually the leg, and the subsequent bone marrow

    you take that marrow, put it on toast, sprinkle a little salt on? delightful

    to illustrate (it looks like death but tastes like heaven):

    IMG_4455.jpg

    Indie Winter on
    wY6K6Jb.gif
  • Options
    Blake TBlake T Do you have enemies then? Good. That means you’ve stood up for something, sometime in your life.Registered User regular
    Lalabox wrote: »
    Well boiling a whole chicken (more or less) is how you get delicious, flavorful chicken broth, so...there has to be a right way to do it!

    The only time I've done anything vaguely similar is when I make chicken soup, but a mini version since it's just for me. Whole chicken breast goes into "pretty much done already" stew/soup. ~15-20 minutes later, I take out the chicken and cut it up, and return it to the pot. Stir around once, remove from heat.

    I used to cut it up beforehand but it actually made the chicken dry out a whole lot (and I had to handle raw chicken, blarg). Apparently cooking it whole keeps it moist.

    oh yeah i once had a lot of fun with making a chicken broth using a whole chicken, feet included

    it was just that after several hours i had a fantastic tasting soup, but the meat itself had to be strained since it was just soggy and tasteless at that point.

    doing it for a shorter amount of time in a stew must be nice

    i've tried to do the whole cooking chicken in a broth with noodles and mushrooms and etc once, although like you said it got pretty dry by the end. doing it whole and then chopping it up would be good.

    I jointed a turkey once for sous vide and with the carcass and wing tips I made a stock, then after I pulled that out I threw all the bones and boiled meat into a pot with some butter and turned it into turkey floss, then I used the butter to start the gravy.

  • Options
    Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    woah woah hang on there

    the heck is turkey floss

    wY6K6Jb.gif
  • Options
    lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    nah dog, marrow is choice

    there's this dish called chulnt in european jewish cooking, it's basically kosher poor people food left over to cook in the oven during the weekend - legumes and hard boiled eggs and the leftover bits of meat (also kishke, which is basically hagis); this sometimes also includes a piece of beef bone, usually the leg, and the subsequent bone marrow

    you take that marrow, put it on toast, sprinkle a little salt on? delightful

    to illustrate (it looks like death but tastes like heaven):

    IMG_4455.jpg

    Umm.

    Please to be passing the cholent? That just made me salivate.

  • Options
    DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    bowen wrote: »
    why would you eat canned chicken

    Because you're poor and have a weird schedule and hate cooking huge amounts of food for yourself and you don't have anyone to eat with you most days

  • Options
    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    You should totally learn to cook huge amounts of food for yourself though, if you have a freezer.

    Whip up a massive meal that you can easily separate into individual portions, that you can defrost and reheat easily later

    It's even better (read cheaper and you get more) if you replace any meat with veg.

    I routinely make a veggie chilli I can portion up and wack in the freezer,

  • Options
    DouglasDangerDouglasDanger PennsylvaniaRegistered User regular
    Do you have a good chili recipe?

    I do have a crock pot

  • Options
    KarlKarl Registered User regular
    I am a shameless shill for Jamie Oliver

    Veggie chilli
    WITH SWEET POTATOES, PEPPERS & BEANS

  • Options
    Lost SalientLost Salient blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill youRegistered User regular
    sarukun wrote: »
    I like the cold kind.

    Boiling meat is super critical for lots of Korean stews and soups, which are hands-down the best stews and soups in the world, so...

    Choose your weapon.

    Okay, my first weapon of choice is dakhanmari, which literally means "one chicken."

    It's a long cooked chicken broth that they put potato, green onion, radish, big mushroom slices in, along with one half or one whole chicken carcass. It's boiled at the table and you pull out parts and dip them into soy with hot dried chiles or this other... sauce thing.

    Then at the end when the broth is cooked down and intense you add hand cut noodles and scarf them down.

    RUVCwyu.jpg
    "Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
This discussion has been closed.