Prove it @TheRoadVirus Prove that you are the worst of us:
Only two things in life are certain: death and Stank dick. (LostNinja )
Only two things in life are certain: death and Sploosh! (Lucedes)
Only two things in life are certain: death and Racist ninjas. (Cythraul)
Only two things in life are certain: death and Shenanigans. (see317)
Only two things in life are certain: death and Child support payments. (MrLicious)
Only two things in life are certain: death and GoGurt. (elvenshae)
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
Whether you have a penis or not everybody has a stank dick day
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Genital piercings in grandpa's obituary. (Lucedes)
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned The Virginia Tech Massacre in grandpa's obituary. (Cythraul)
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Scalping in grandpa's obituary. (MrTLicious)
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned An itsy-bitsy teeny weenie in grandpa's obituary. (see317)
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned The female orgasm in grandpa's obituary. (Elvenshae)
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy in grandpa's obituary. (TheRoadVirus )
No stay puft marshmallow man, but still, what did you do@TheRoadVirus ?
Giving 110%. That's how I want to die. (Elvenshae)
Taking one for the team. That's how I want to die. (Anialos)
Cockissimo Fantastico, the legendary lover with the wondrous wang. That's how I want to die. (Lucedes)
Committing suicide at the Old Country Buffet. That's how I want to die. (Cythraul)
Hot Pockets. That's how I want to die. (LostNinja)
50,000 volts straight to the nipples. That's how I want to die. (MrTLicious)
The unbelievable world of mushrooms. That's how I want to die. (see317 )
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
I am a fan of good good foods. Please tell me more about your mushed rooms
These are the kind of answers that warm my tiny, cold heart. @see317 your judging services, please:
Every step towards Robots who just want to party gets me a little closer to Testicular torsion. (TheRoadVirus)
Every step towards Changing a person's mind with logic and facts gets me a little closer to Achieving reproductive success. (Lucedes)
Every step towards The poophole loophole gets me a little closer to An ass disaster. (Anialos )
Every step towards People with cake in their mouths talking about how good cake is gets me a little closer to Seppuku. (Cythraul)
Every step towards Teaching a robot to love gets me a little closer to A shiny rock that proves I love you. (MrTLicious)
Every step towards The rocket launcher gets me a little closer to The American Dream. (Elvenshae)
Every step towards A visually arresting turtleneck gets me a little closer to Throwing a virgin into a volcano. (LostNinja)
Tough one, but I think the Poophole Loophole to Ass Disaster is going to take the round.
Now the question is: was that TRV's entry, meaning they take the game?
If it was possible, I'd also award half points to both robot entries. But, it's not. So we'll put the robopocalypse on hold for now.
@Anialos is not sure if there are from movie trailers or the guy in the alley who sells pills out of his dirty overcoat:
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man. (LostNinja )
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Painal. (MrTLicious)
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Bourbon pong. (Lucedes)
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Catapults. (Cythraul)
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Firm buttocks. (see317)
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Growing a pair. (Elvenshae)
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Nazis. (TheRoadVirus)
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AnialosCollies are love, Collies are life!Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered Userregular
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man. We also offer weed!
Sugar madness.
A mouthful of potato salad.
The ghost of Marlon Brando.
A soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River."
Centaurs.
All the single ladies.
Wuv.
Ze Germans.
A fear-boner.
Tasteful sideboob.
Shutting the fuck up.
The smooth, unblemished skin of a child.
Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry.
Powerful thighs.
Being able to name all the different kinds of olives.
Romantic cancer.
Throwing a virgin into a volcano.
All of this blood.
Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.
Offering sexual favors for an ore and a sheep.
Chugging a lava lamp.
The tiny, calloused hands of the Chinese children that made this card.
Falling into the toilet.
Eating an entire snowman.
A sternly-worded letter.
A giant mechanical bird with a tragic backstory.
AnialosCollies are love, Collies are life!Shadowbrook ColliesRegistered Userregular
PURGE!!!
The World of Warcraft.
A Molson muscle.
The Chronicles of Red-Dick.
Going vegetarian and feeling so great all the time.
Breeding elves for their priceless semen.
Sexting.
Silence.
At least three ducks.
Cool, releatable cancer teens.
Axl Rose.
The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.
Being waterboarded with Wild Turkey® 101.
The Underground Railroad.
The difference between "good touch" and "bad touch."
Public ridicule.
A fetus.
Applying to a new guild.
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, An entire bottle of Jägermeister®, acceptance. (Cythraul )
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other, acceptance. (Lucedes)
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, A death ray, acceptance. (MrTLicious)
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Smashing all the pottery in a Pottery Barn in search of rupees, acceptance. (see317)
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Screaming like a maniac, acceptance. (Elvenshae)
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Scrubbing under the folds, acceptance. (Anialos)
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Three months in the hole, acceptance. (TheRoadVirus)
@Cythraul In your best Mel Brooks impression, please:
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Cards Against Humanity. (TheRoadVirus)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Unsheathing my massive horse cock. (Lucedes)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? How awesome I am. (Anialos)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? A bitch slap. (LostNinja)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? A buttload of candy. (see317)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? An overly-enthusiastic prostate exam. (MrTLicious)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Being a motherfucking sorcerer. (Elvenshae )
@Elvenshae was thrown for a loop by what he saw on page five of Scientific American:
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized A sassy black woman in the lab. (LostNinja)
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Some punk-ass little bitch in the lab. (Lucedes)
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized The heart of a child in the lab. (Anialos)
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Meaningless sex in the lab. (Cythraul )
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized A special snowflake in the lab. (see317)
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Old-people smell in the lab. (TheRoadVirus)
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Man meat in the lab. (MrTLicious)
Posts
Only two things in life are certain: death and Stank dick. (LostNinja )
Only two things in life are certain: death and Sploosh! (Lucedes)
Only two things in life are certain: death and Racist ninjas. (Cythraul)
Only two things in life are certain: death and Shenanigans. (see317)
Only two things in life are certain: death and Child support payments. (MrLicious)
Only two things in life are certain: death and GoGurt. (elvenshae)
Round 26: I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned _____ in grandpa's obituary.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
It was a sad day. A sad, embarrassing day.
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Genital piercings in grandpa's obituary. (Lucedes)
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned The Virginia Tech Massacre in grandpa's obituary. (Cythraul)
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Scalping in grandpa's obituary. (MrTLicious)
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned An itsy-bitsy teeny weenie in grandpa's obituary. (see317)
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned The female orgasm in grandpa's obituary. (Elvenshae)
I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy in grandpa's obituary. (TheRoadVirus )
Round 27: _____. That's how I want to die.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317
Choose and perish.
Giving 110%. That's how I want to die. (Elvenshae)
Taking one for the team. That's how I want to die. (Anialos)
Cockissimo Fantastico, the legendary lover with the wondrous wang. That's how I want to die. (Lucedes)
Committing suicide at the Old Country Buffet. That's how I want to die. (Cythraul)
Hot Pockets. That's how I want to die. (LostNinja)
50,000 volts straight to the nipples. That's how I want to die. (MrTLicious)
The unbelievable world of mushrooms. That's how I want to die. (see317 )
Round 28: Every step towards _____ gets me a little closer to _____.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @TheRoadVirus
This sounds like the first line of a bad country song.
Every step towards Robots who just want to party gets me a little closer to Testicular torsion. (TheRoadVirus)
Every step towards Changing a person's mind with logic and facts gets me a little closer to Achieving reproductive success. (Lucedes)
Every step towards The poophole loophole gets me a little closer to An ass disaster. (Anialos )
Every step towards People with cake in their mouths talking about how good cake is gets me a little closer to Seppuku. (Cythraul)
Every step towards Teaching a robot to love gets me a little closer to A shiny rock that proves I love you. (MrTLicious)
Every step towards The rocket launcher gets me a little closer to The American Dream. (Elvenshae)
Every step towards A visually arresting turtleneck gets me a little closer to Throwing a virgin into a volcano. (LostNinja)
Now the question is: was that TRV's entry, meaning they take the game?
If it was possible, I'd also award half points to both robot entries. But, it's not. So we'll put the robopocalypse on hold for now.
Round 29: Come with me on an adventure to the land of _____.
@Cythraul @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
Safety not guaranteed.
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man. (LostNinja )
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Painal. (MrTLicious)
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Bourbon pong. (Lucedes)
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Catapults. (Cythraul)
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Firm buttocks. (see317)
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Growing a pair. (Elvenshae)
Come with me on an adventure to the land of Nazis. (TheRoadVirus)
Round 30! One last chance to discard your worthless cards. Post them here we can all laugh at your terrible luck.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
Sugar madness.
A mouthful of potato salad.
The ghost of Marlon Brando.
A soulful rendition of "Ol' Man River."
Centaurs.
All the single ladies.
Wuv.
Ze Germans.
A fear-boner.
Tasteful sideboob.
Shutting the fuck up.
The smooth, unblemished skin of a child.
Ejaculating live bees and the bees are angry.
Powerful thighs.
Being able to name all the different kinds of olives.
Romantic cancer.
Throwing a virgin into a volcano.
All of this blood.
Subduing a grizzly bear and making her your wife.
Offering sexual favors for an ore and a sheep.
Confusion will be my epitaph
The tiny, calloused hands of the Chinese children that made this card.
Falling into the toilet.
Eating an entire snowman.
A sternly-worded letter.
A giant mechanical bird with a tragic backstory.
I play Blue Eyes Wh-
wait what?
Oh
Uh yeah
Keep
The World of Warcraft.
A Molson muscle.
The Chronicles of Red-Dick.
Going vegetarian and feeling so great all the time.
Breeding elves for their priceless semen.
Sexting.
Silence.
At least three ducks.
Cool, releatable cancer teens.
Axl Rose.
The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy.
Being waterboarded with Wild Turkey® 101.
The Underground Railroad.
The difference between "good touch" and "bad touch."
Public ridicule.
A fetus.
Applying to a new guild.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Rainbow cumdrops.
The Yellow Dick Road.
Wearing your IUD into an MRI.
Aaron Burr.
Homeless people.
Touching the poop.
The glass ceiling.
The Google.
Round 30: The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, _____, acceptance.
@Anialos @Cythraul @Elvenshae @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
powder kept dry until after the war, whoops.
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, An entire bottle of Jägermeister®, acceptance. (Cythraul )
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Injecting speed into one arm and horse tranquilizer into the other, acceptance. (Lucedes)
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, A death ray, acceptance. (MrTLicious)
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Smashing all the pottery in a Pottery Barn in search of rupees, acceptance. (see317)
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Screaming like a maniac, acceptance. (Elvenshae)
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Scrubbing under the folds, acceptance. (Anialos)
The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, Three months in the hole, acceptance. (TheRoadVirus)
Round 31: As king, how will I keep the peasants in line?
@Anialos @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
It's good to be the king.
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Cards Against Humanity. (TheRoadVirus)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Unsheathing my massive horse cock. (Lucedes)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? How awesome I am. (Anialos)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? A bitch slap. (LostNinja)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? A buttload of candy. (see317)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? An overly-enthusiastic prostate exam. (MrTLicious)
As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Being a motherfucking sorcerer. (Elvenshae )
Confusion will be my epitaph
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WGUediIhb-c
EDIT: Just, like, the first 10s or so.
Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
Round 32: In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized _____ in the lab.
@Anialos @Cythraul @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus
Pfft. What do scientists know.
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized A sassy black woman in the lab. (LostNinja)
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Some punk-ass little bitch in the lab. (Lucedes)
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized The heart of a child in the lab. (Anialos)
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Meaningless sex in the lab. (Cythraul )
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized A special snowflake in the lab. (see317)
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Old-people smell in the lab. (TheRoadVirus)
In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Man meat in the lab. (MrTLicious)