Captain • Mirror Universe Kira (DS9) First Officer • Number One (PIC) Science • Gegen the dinosaur-man (VOY) Engineer • Geordi La Forge but as that weird glowy gecko alien (TNG) Doctor • Stavos (TAS) Security • fuck it, the robotic food guardian near the end of Logan's Run, the one that goes "FISH, PLANKTON, SEA-GREENS, AND PROTEINS FROM THE SEA" (Logan's Run) Helm • The giant space-faring waterbear (DISCO) Communications • Abraham Lincoln (TOS) Operations • the giraffe skull that the show tries to pass off as the skull of some bird alien (ENT) Counselor • Sigmund Freud (TNG) Civilian • Neelix because he deserves this
You can tell the order at which I made these picks because i increasingly threw my hands up in the air about the decision-making
I'm disappointed that "Tom Paris as a Salamander" ddn't make your crew.
You wouldn't need anyone else, Tom Paris can do just about everything anyway, and Hyper-Tom-Paris can also reproduce at an astonishing rate
Captain • Mirror Universe Kira (DS9) First Officer • Number One (PIC) Science • Gegen the dinosaur-man (VOY) Engineer • Geordi La Forge but as that weird glowy gecko alien (TNG) Doctor • Stavos (TAS) Security • fuck it, the robotic food guardian near the end of Logan's Run, the one that goes "FISH, PLANKTON, SEA-GREENS, AND PROTEINS FROM THE SEA" (Logan's Run) Helm • The giant space-faring waterbear (DISCO) Communications • Abraham Lincoln (TOS) Operations • the giraffe skull that the show tries to pass off as the skull of some bird alien (ENT) Counselor • Sigmund Freud (TNG) Civilian • Neelix because he deserves this
You can tell the order at which I made these picks because i increasingly threw my hands up in the air about the decision-making
I'm disappointed that "Tom Paris as a Salamander" ddn't make your crew.
Shit! Back to the drawing board. Actually, "Barclay plugged into the holodeck" would probably make a better Ops officer than the giraffe skull, as well. I thought about "Kirk that time he thought he was a medicine man" as doctor, but the episode made me feel too uncomfortable so I dropped him. Maybe an actual eugenicist is an even worse pick, in retrospect.
Edit: Although if I drop the giraffe skull, I won't have any picks from Enterprise. This is a tricky one.
Captain • Mirror Universe Kira (DS9) First Officer • Number One (PIC) Science • Gegen the dinosaur-man (VOY) Engineer • Geordi La Forge but as that weird glowy gecko alien (TNG) Doctor • Stavos (TAS) Security • fuck it, the robotic food guardian near the end of Logan's Run, the one that goes "FISH, PLANKTON, SEA-GREENS, AND PROTEINS FROM THE SEA" (Logan's Run) Helm • The giant space-faring waterbear (DISCO) Communications • Abraham Lincoln (TOS) Operations • the giraffe skull that the show tries to pass off as the skull of some bird alien (ENT) Counselor • Sigmund Freud (TNG) Civilian • Neelix because he deserves this
You can tell the order at which I made these picks because i increasingly threw my hands up in the air about the decision-making
Mirror Universe Kira for Captain makes me wonder what the horniest crew would look like.
Kirk, Mirror Kira, Riker, season to taste, honestly.
You could actually get 2 bonus Rikers if you include Thomas.
One more from Hobo Beard Riker in Parallels, who may have been crazy but he did keep the ship going for, what, three years at that point after the Federation fell.
An argument could be made that Admiral Riker from All Good Things counts as an available bonus.
Through the power of Time Travel I'm just going to claim a few copies of TNG riker to fill out my roster
Captain • Old Riker (All Good Things/TNG)
First Officer • Bearded Riker (Season 3/TNG)
Science • Jonathan Frakes (Host, Beyond Belief)
Engineer • Lt Thomas Riker (Second Chances/TNG)
Doctor • Grizzled Riker (Parallels/TNG)
Security • Swashbuckler Riker (Hollow Pursuits/TNG)
Helm • Beardless Riker (Encounter at Farpoint/TNG)
Communications • Odan Possessed Riker (The Host/TNG)
Operations • Maquis Thomas Riker (Defiant/DS9)
Counselor • Sexy Nipple RIker (Angel One/TNG)
Civilian • Chef Riker (These Are The Voyagers/ENT)
Xanatos needs a spot in there.
Xanatos is the antagonist. Just make the whole thing a one-man show.
I mean if we're doing villain ships:
Captain: Shran
First Officer: Weyoun
Security: Brunt
Helm : Krem
Ops : Tiron
with the rest filled out by the various Weyouns
Science officer: The Question
I would legitimately pay money to watch this
He would just blame every spatial anomaly on 5G!
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Ninja Snarl PMy helmet is my burden.Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered Userregular
edited June 2020
Captain: Overconfident Barclay that thinks he is in a holodeck program
First Officer: Regular twitchy Barclay
Security: Spider Barclay
Helm: Barclay that still see interdimensional things
Ops: Superbrain Barclay
Engineering: Hologram Barclay
Counselor: Future well-adjusted Barclay who is only moderately twitchy now
The advantage of this ship is that any visitor, be they Borg or Q, would pop onto the bridge, share a few seconds of awkward silence appraising the situation, and then promptly depart, leaving the ship and crew utterly untouched.
Captain: Overconfident Barclay that thinks he is in a holodeck program
First Officer: Regular twitchy Barclay
Security: Spider Barclay
Helm: Barclay that still see interdimensional things
Ops: Superbrain Barclay
Engineering: Hologram Barclay
Counselor: Future well-adjusted Barclay who is only moderately twitchy now
The advantage of this ship is that any visitor, be they Borg or Q, would pop onto the bridge, share a few seconds of awkward silence appraising the situation, and then promptly depart, leaving the ship and crew utterly untouched.
I'd feel really sorry for your Counselor, having to deal with all of his old neurosis again... Ugh.
Even with the benefit of hindsight, somehow I doubt saying "Here's what worked for me when I was you..." would be all that helpful.
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Ninja Snarl PMy helmet is my burden.Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered Userregular
Counselor Barclay is also the ambassador because he gets to introduce new races to all of himself and say "I used to be all of these guys and look how great I'm doing now thanks to the Federation and you can join too!"
Captain: Overconfident Barclay that thinks he is in a holodeck program
First Officer: Regular twitchy Barclay
Security: Spider Barclay
Helm: Barclay that still see interdimensional things
Ops: Superbrain Barclay
Engineering: Hologram Barclay
Counselor: Future well-adjusted Barclay who is only moderately twitchy now
The advantage of this ship is that any visitor, be they Borg or Q, would pop onto the bridge, share a few seconds of awkward silence appraising the situation, and then promptly depart, leaving the ship and crew utterly untouched.
Captain: Overconfident Barclay that thinks he is in a holodeck program
First Officer: Regular twitchy Barclay
Security: Spider Barclay
Helm: Barclay that still see interdimensional things
Ops: Superbrain Barclay
Engineering: Hologram Barclay
Counselor: Future well-adjusted Barclay who is only moderately twitchy now
The advantage of this ship is that any visitor, be they Borg or Q, would pop onto the bridge, share a few seconds of awkward silence appraising the situation, and then promptly depart, leaving the ship and crew utterly untouched.
Where does bad hairpiece Barclay fit into this?
In accordance with Federation law, hairpiece officers are interchangeable with captains.
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JacobkoshGamble a stamp.I can show you how to be a real man!Moderatormod
MASTERCLASS™ presents AVERY BROOKS on ACTING
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That_GuyI don't wanna be that guyRegistered Userregular
That's not even the "CalArts style", the meme is for shows that look like Gravity Falls and Stephen Universe. And yes I don't like how those shows look but it's a disingenuous criticism. Wow animation searching for broad commercial appeal, with a tight budget, made in Flash, and starring humans looks similar, it must be because they were indoctrinated by the school they went to. They should all have been self-taught renegade geniuses like you, noted rapist John K.
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Ninja Snarl PMy helmet is my burden.Ninja Snarl: Gone, but not forgotten.Registered Userregular
The problem for me is that it's clearly the identical style to Rick and Morty. The style itself is fine, it's just that it's a very specific, distinctive style attached to a very specific, distinctive show. I'm not at all interested in something animated like Rick and Morty but sanitized to the point of being a Trek show, particularly since Trek tropes are the sort of thing Rick and Morty would go after. Neither am I interested in something Trek trying to ape Rick and Morty.
Isn't this, in fact, explicitly by (some of) the Rick and Morty people?
So if I recall correctly: to the people making and/or approving this, that is not a coincidence or a bug, but a feature. Working as intended.
Yeah, finding out the creator also worked on both Rick and Morty and Solar Opposites explains a lot. Though it also looks and feels like maybe it's also trying to crib off the trend that Teen Titans Go started. A trend since picked up by Thundercats, and even My Little Pony of all things. I'm willing to give it a shot, but I'm worried it'll try to be much too zany and wacky for its own good. Who knows though, it might actually work. I'll be damned if I can explain how or why Teen Titans Go works, but it does.
"The sausage of Green Earth explodes with flavor like the cannon of culinary delight."
That implies they had some sort of funeral for Tuvix. What they crew of Voyager did was far more heinous. They murdered the man then pretended the whole thing never happened.
Speaking of which, just watched the episode where the Doctor made a holographic family for himself and the crew went 'wow, what a wholesome family... a little too wholesome... let's kill one of them'
This is a great, heartening read, and also reflects a lot of my experience watching Star Trek and interfacing with its fans that way for the first time as an adult. I wasn't 30, and it wasn't during such a difficult time as this, but still.
Oh and a few episodes previous Harry Kim was being lured in by a species of space succubi, jokes on them, they've never met a more un-fuckable creature. A man who's idea of pillow talk is "can you tuck me in, like my mommy use to?"
This is a great, heartening read, and also reflects a lot of my experience watching Star Trek and interfacing with its fans that way for the first time as an adult. I wasn't 30, and it wasn't during such a difficult time as this, but still.
Oh and a few episodes previous Harry Kim was being lured in by a species of space succubi, jokes on them, they've never met a more un-fuckable creature. A man who's idea of pillow talk is "can you tuck me in, like my mommy use to?"
The one part of last night's dreams that hasn't slipped my memory is that I was watching an episode of TNG where the A plot was that objects kept unaccountably swapping positions on the Enterprise, but only those of similar shapes and never while being directly observed. Ultimately it turned out that the transporter was just glitchy and they fixed it. :shrug:
My favorite musical instrument is the air-raid siren.
The one part of last night's dreams that hasn't slipped my memory is that I was watching an episode of TNG where the A plot was that objects kept unaccountably swapping positions on the Enterprise, but only those of similar shapes and never while being directly observed. Ultimately it turned out that the transporter was just glitchy and they fixed it. :shrug:
That sounds better than most of the episodes from seasons 1 or 2.
When I was driving once I saw this painted on a bridge:
"I don't want the world, I just want your half"
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That_GuyI don't wanna be that guyRegistered Userregular
The one part of last night's dreams that hasn't slipped my memory is that I was watching an episode of TNG where the A plot was that objects kept unaccountably swapping positions on the Enterprise, but only those of similar shapes and never while being directly observed. Ultimately it turned out that the transporter was just glitchy and they fixed it. :shrug:
My dreams never get a conclusion like that. I would probably have woken up while everyone was still freaking out.
Dreams are akin to shows that end season 1 on a ridiculous cliffhanger only to get canceled during the break.
"The sausage of Green Earth explodes with flavor like the cannon of culinary delight."
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That_GuyI don't wanna be that guyRegistered Userregular
edited July 2020
This reminded me of a dream I had the other night. I was in LA at that rock quarry where they filmed a bunch of Trek episodes (Bronson Canyon I think) and need to urgently leave for some reason. Being in LA I had no idea where I was going but didn't have enough time to pull up my hotel on my phone. I ran a red light in front of a cop and pulled into a church that ended up being a cult to tried to trap/kidnap me.
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You wouldn't need anyone else, Tom Paris can do just about everything anyway, and Hyper-Tom-Paris can also reproduce at an astonishing rate
Shit! Back to the drawing board. Actually, "Barclay plugged into the holodeck" would probably make a better Ops officer than the giraffe skull, as well. I thought about "Kirk that time he thought he was a medicine man" as doctor, but the episode made me feel too uncomfortable so I dropped him. Maybe an actual eugenicist is an even worse pick, in retrospect.
Edit: Although if I drop the giraffe skull, I won't have any picks from Enterprise. This is a tricky one.
It'd have to be Bones as the only other person, upon thinking about it. At least in my vision of the situation
kirk delivering a half-hearted spock impersonation everytime he talks with bones, just to make him mad
Kirk, Mirror Kira, Riker, season to taste, honestly.
He would just blame every spatial anomaly on 5G!
First Officer: Regular twitchy Barclay
Security: Spider Barclay
Helm: Barclay that still see interdimensional things
Ops: Superbrain Barclay
Engineering: Hologram Barclay
Counselor: Future well-adjusted Barclay who is only moderately twitchy now
The advantage of this ship is that any visitor, be they Borg or Q, would pop onto the bridge, share a few seconds of awkward silence appraising the situation, and then promptly depart, leaving the ship and crew utterly untouched.
I'd feel really sorry for your Counselor, having to deal with all of his old neurosis again... Ugh.
Even with the benefit of hindsight, somehow I doubt saying "Here's what worked for me when I was you..." would be all that helpful.
Where does bad hairpiece Barclay fit into this?
i think i found the concept art for this ship
Pretty sure they already made this series of Thirsty Trek, it was called Lexx...
Goodreads
SF&F Reviews blog
In accordance with Federation law, hairpiece officers are interchangeable with captains.
https://www.startrek.com/news/star-trek-lower-decks-sets-release-date
Yeah, I hate the visual style of so many modern cartoons. I think Family Guy poisoned the well if I'm honest.
So if I recall correctly: to the people making and/or approving this, that is not a coincidence or a bug, but a feature. Working as intended.
https://www.startrek.com/news/watching-the-next-generation-in-a-time-of-pandemic-and-uprising
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
That implies they had some sort of funeral for Tuvix. What they crew of Voyager did was far more heinous. They murdered the man then pretended the whole thing never happened.
This is a great, heartening read, and also reflects a lot of my experience watching Star Trek and interfacing with its fans that way for the first time as an adult. I wasn't 30, and it wasn't during such a difficult time as this, but still.
Beautiful
That sounds better than most of the episodes from seasons 1 or 2.
"I don't want the world, I just want your half"
My dreams never get a conclusion like that. I would probably have woken up while everyone was still freaking out.