A chick who teaches the marching band I teach unwittingly got me to say "scissor me timbers!" over the loudspeaker last Friday in front of 120 band kids and 50 band parents.
needless to say, I did not know what it meant until after I said it
Hahahaha!
So how did she trick you?
I was just vamping on the mic while the kids were "resetting" (i.e. running back to the beginning of the chunk we were rehearsing) and saying some cliched shit like "what's really lacking here is the marching technique, you need scissors for legs in this section" and she said it kinda quietly next to me up in the bleachers (it was our "dress rehearsal" with all the kids in full uniform and a bunch of parents there).
And I had no idea what it meant, I thought she was just saying something goofy and it sounded funny/dumb like the other crap I was intentionally saying, so I added "yeah that's it, 'scissor me timbers' says Anne". And suddenly there were like 40 kids and even a few parents just going "OHHHHHHHH" and I had no fucking idea why.
So I looked around at the rest of the instructional staff and basically every single one of them had turned beet red, especially Anne, who looked like she was about to shit her pants. A few of them were snickering and/or covering their faces with their hands. I'm going "what? does that actually mean something?" and the band director is all "just keep talking. just move on.".
whoooooooops
YOU ARE AWESOME
That's not even the worst shit I've ever said while teaching band.
Something like 6 years ago (and therefore only a couple of years into my experience teaching high school marching band) I was teaching a marching fundamentals exercise that works on direction changes and specifically foot placements for direction changes, called the Figure 8. One of the foot placements was kind of weird--imagine one foot pointed straight forward and the other pointed inward at a 45-degree angle. Kind of a pigeon-toed thing going on there.
Anyway, I was in the groove and cruising along, teaching them the counts for the exercise and everything, and I got to this part and without really thinking at all, I said "this one is the retard placement". And suddenly every single kid out there with me (60-70) was going "OHHHHHH WHAT WHAT NO WAY BOOOO".
I had to completely stop the rehearsal and do the equivalent of a fucking press conference: "That was extremely inappropriate and unprofessional. I am sorry." or something like that. I felt like the biggest asshole.
At least the shit I did this past Friday was somebody else's fault!
K have any kid's you've taught ever found out that you post on the internet where they can read what you're saying
I dunno, there's certainly more than a handful of them dorky enough to know what PA is, so I guess if they did some Googles for my name they'd be able to put it together.
I heard somebody say "Pokemon Gym Leader" in the hallway the other day while everyone was heading out of the school toward the band rehearsal field.
Is Pokemon Gym Leader your spy name or something
no I mean I just overheard some geeky shit
I don't have any idea what the context was
Captain K on
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Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
A chick who teaches the marching band I teach unwittingly got me to say "scissor me timbers!" over the loudspeaker last Friday in front of 120 band kids and 50 band parents.
needless to say, I did not know what it meant until after I said it
Hahahaha!
So how did she trick you?
I was just vamping on the mic while the kids were "resetting" (i.e. running back to the beginning of the chunk we were rehearsing) and saying some cliched shit like "what's really lacking here is the marching technique, you need scissors for legs in this section" and she said it kinda quietly next to me up in the bleachers (it was our "dress rehearsal" with all the kids in full uniform and a bunch of parents there).
And I had no idea what it meant, I thought she was just saying something goofy and it sounded funny/dumb like the other crap I was intentionally saying, so I added "yeah that's it, 'scissor me timbers' says Anne". And suddenly there were like 40 kids and even a few parents just going "OHHHHHHHH" and I had no fucking idea why.
So I looked around at the rest of the instructional staff and basically every single one of them had turned beet red, especially Anne, who looked like she was about to shit her pants. A few of them were snickering and/or covering their faces with their hands. I'm going "what? does that actually mean something?" and the band director is all "just keep talking. just move on.".
whoooooooops
YOU ARE AWESOME
That's not even the worst shit I've ever said while teaching band.
Something like 6 years ago (and therefore only a couple of years into my experience teaching high school marching band) I was teaching a marching fundamentals exercise that works on direction changes and specifically foot placements for direction changes, called the Figure 8. One of the foot placements was kind of weird--imagine one foot pointed straight forward and the other pointed inward at a 45-degree angle. Kind of a pigeon-toed thing going on there.
Anyway, I was in the groove and cruising along, teaching them the counts for the exercise and everything, and I got to this part and without really thinking at all, I said "this one is the retard placement". And suddenly every single kid out there with me (60-70) was going "OHHHHHH WHAT WHAT NO WAY BOOOO".
I had to completely stop the rehearsal and do the equivalent of a fucking press conference: "That was extremely inappropriate and unprofessional. I am sorry." or something like that. I felt like the biggest asshole.
At least the shit I did this past Friday was somebody else's fault!
Captain K inept, blames others: News at eleven.
Munkus Beaver on
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
beavotron isn't a despicable prostitute! she's a wonderful, cheerful prostitute who takes pride in a job well done!
seriously though, beavo's been posting here for several years and has generally been a fine forumer and a good artist but suddenly once she actually starts posting as a woman some of you just have to jump on the bandwagon and call her out for not continuing to act like just another one of the guys
pathetic
A chick who teaches the marching band I teach unwittingly got me to say "scissor me timbers!" over the loudspeaker last Friday in front of 120 band kids and 50 band parents.
needless to say, I did not know what it meant until after I said it
Hahahaha!
So how did she trick you?
I was just vamping on the mic while the kids were "resetting" (i.e. running back to the beginning of the chunk we were rehearsing) and saying some cliched shit like "what's really lacking here is the marching technique, you need scissors for legs in this section" and she said it kinda quietly next to me up in the bleachers (it was our "dress rehearsal" with all the kids in full uniform and a bunch of parents there).
And I had no idea what it meant, I thought she was just saying something goofy and it sounded funny/dumb like the other crap I was intentionally saying, so I added "yeah that's it, 'scissor me timbers' says Anne". And suddenly there were like 40 kids and even a few parents just going "OHHHHHHHH" and I had no fucking idea why.
So I looked around at the rest of the instructional staff and basically every single one of them had turned beet red, especially Anne, who looked like she was about to shit her pants. A few of them were snickering and/or covering their faces with their hands. I'm going "what? does that actually mean something?" and the band director is all "just keep talking. just move on.".
whoooooooops
YOU ARE AWESOME
That's not even the worst shit I've ever said while teaching band.
Something like 6 years ago (and therefore only a couple of years into my experience teaching high school marching band) I was teaching a marching fundamentals exercise that works on direction changes and specifically foot placements for direction changes, called the Figure 8. One of the foot placements was kind of weird--imagine one foot pointed straight forward and the other pointed inward at a 45-degree angle. Kind of a pigeon-toed thing going on there.
Anyway, I was in the groove and cruising along, teaching them the counts for the exercise and everything, and I got to this part and without really thinking at all, I said "this one is the retard placement". And suddenly every single kid out there with me (60-70) was going "OHHHHHH WHAT WHAT NO WAY BOOOO".
I had to completely stop the rehearsal and do the equivalent of a fucking press conference: "That was extremely inappropriate and unprofessional. I am sorry." or something like that. I felt like the biggest asshole.
At least the shit I did this past Friday was somebody else's fault!
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
beavotron isn't a despicable prostitute! she's a wonderful, cheerful prostitute who takes pride in a job well done!
seriously though, beavo's been posting here for several years and has generally been a fine forumer and a good artist but suddenly once she actually starts posting as a woman some of you just have to jump on the bandwagon and call her out for not continuing to act like just another one of the guys
pathetic
Whoa now hey now.
I hate her balls for stealing my beavo throne in the AC.
I'll call him a daisy if that makes me your huckleberry.
Munkus Beaver on
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
K once told me a whole bunch of awesome stories about band camp in vent after i asked him if flute incidents ever happened
oh K, the times we had in vent were good times indeed.
Also I found my ALF fan fic the other day, it was just as awful as I remember it being
K once told me a whole bunch of awesome stories about band camp in vent after i asked him if flute incidents ever happened
oh K, the times we had in vent were good times indeed.
Also I found my ALF fan fic the other day, it was just as awful as I remember it being
K once told me a whole bunch of awesome stories about band camp in vent after i asked him if flute incidents ever happened
oh K, the times we had in vent were good times indeed.
Also I found my ALF fan fic the other day, it was just as awful as I remember it being
K once told me a whole bunch of awesome stories about band camp in vent after i asked him if flute incidents ever happened
oh K, the times we had in vent were good times indeed.
Also I found my ALF fan fic the other day, it was just as awful as I remember it being
so does this mean you'll pm me your tits?
sorry! it had to be done!
no but i'll post some tits on a nut sac:
even in context that doesn't sound incredibly appealing
well, it's not that bad actually
not as bad as other things i've said
i might get banned just for defiling such an important part of most people's childhood television experience.
okay, K said I could so none of you other mods ban me for this:
NSFW Erotic ALF slash fiction:
It was a quiet, relatively uneventful day in the Tanner household. Willie Tanner was still at his office,
Lynn was at cheerleading practice and Brian was at his boyfriend’s house. Kate was curled up on the couch,
indulging in some white chocolate and reading the most recent issue Red Book magazine when a commotion in the kitchen interrupted the silence.
She rushed into the kitchen to find ALF sprawled on the ground, an empty bottle of Jim Beam in one hand and a tuft of what appeared to be cat hair in the other.
“Fuck that fuckin’ cat…” he slurred.
“ALF!” cried Kate “ALF, are you… are you okay?”
he leered up at her from the floor. His eyes drifting in and out of focus as they slid over her well-toned calves, up to her soft round breasts, obscured by the trendy 1980’s cropped-top varsity sweatshirt she was sporting.
“Kate, have I ever…have I ever told you that you’ve got really awesome tits?”
“ALF!” screamed Kate, trying to sound mortified. She swallowed hard. She never knew ALF felt that way about her. It took her by surprise.
Lord knows she thought about him all the time. His short, hairy body, his strangely arousing, phallic snout. That mole.
“Smarten up ALF, you’re drunk aren’t you? Go upstairs” she tried to sound authoritative but her voice came out as a squeak
“why don’t you come with me baby?” He had gotten up from the floor and was stumbling towards her.
He fell forward clumsily and clutched at her breasts. She gasped. She felt a wrench of pleasure in her loins. She grabbed his shoulders, and tried to push him back, but he lunged forcibly against her,
they tumbled to the floor of the kitchen in a heap
“oh… oh ALF, no… no I can’t, what will will and the kids think?”
“Fuck will and fuck the kids. And fuck me kate. I want to fuck”
Kate’s thighs twitched in anticipation as ALF pulled off her 80’s style stone-wash tapered denim jeans and promptly began giving her oral pleasure. She moaned, grabbing at the coarse, reddish brown hair on the top of his head
“yes! Yes! Eat me you crazy little alien! Eat me! Yes!”
he grabbed her and flipped her over, put her into position and started nailing her from behind while she screamed, and tossed her hair like a wild mare taking it from some really fucking hot stallion or something.
“I’M GOING TO CUM!” she screeched.
“SWEET MELMAC, SO AM I!!” bellowed ALF.
Their bodies shuddered as they climaxed in unison.
Both of them fell to the ground, heaving with passionate exertion.
Suddenly ALF started choking as if he was going to vomit. He coughed up a giant ball of pubic hair. “looks like I finally managed to eat the cat after all”
Posts
That's not even the worst shit I've ever said while teaching band.
Something like 6 years ago (and therefore only a couple of years into my experience teaching high school marching band) I was teaching a marching fundamentals exercise that works on direction changes and specifically foot placements for direction changes, called the Figure 8. One of the foot placements was kind of weird--imagine one foot pointed straight forward and the other pointed inward at a 45-degree angle. Kind of a pigeon-toed thing going on there.
Anyway, I was in the groove and cruising along, teaching them the counts for the exercise and everything, and I got to this part and without really thinking at all, I said "this one is the retard placement". And suddenly every single kid out there with me (60-70) was going "OHHHHHH WHAT WHAT NO WAY BOOOO".
I had to completely stop the rehearsal and do the equivalent of a fucking press conference: "That was extremely inappropriate and unprofessional. I am sorry." or something like that. I felt like the biggest asshole.
At least the shit I did this past Friday was somebody else's fault!
no I mean I just overheard some geeky shit
I don't have any idea what the context was
Captain K inept, blames others: News at eleven.
It's certainly unprofessional as hell :P
oops, I'll get the hang of posting one day
maybe if you're retarded
where you can tell marching band (high school or college) or drum corps or whatever stories
Talking about band as a general topic is boring as fuck but for some reason that activity creates awesome anecdotes like nobody's business.
seriously though, beavo's been posting here for several years and has generally been a fine forumer and a good artist but suddenly once she actually starts posting as a woman some of you just have to jump on the bandwagon and call her out for not continuing to act like just another one of the guys
pathetic
:^:
XBox LIVE: Bogestrom | Destiny
PSN: Bogestrom
K has great stories
Whoa now hey now.
I hate her balls for stealing my beavo throne in the AC.
I'll call him a daisy if that makes me your huckleberry.
GROW A PENIS, BEAVO.
YOU DUMB GIRL.
TRADE YOUR HOLE IN FOR A POLE AND THEN MAYBE I'LL TREAT YOU LIKE A PERSON.
Nah, I think Im keeping it, dude.
my marching band stories are just depressing and boring as hell
chico: fuck, I'm trying so hard
K once told me a whole bunch of awesome stories about band camp in vent after i asked him if flute incidents ever happened
oh K, the times we had in vent were good times indeed.
Also I found my ALF fan fic the other day, it was just as awful as I remember it being
I was too busy vomiting to hear them the first time
so does this mean you'll pm me your tits?
make me proud son
no but i'll post some tits on a nut sac:
even in context that doesn't sound incredibly appealing
TITS ON A NUT SAC!!!
*FIST POUND*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
put "I am the bestest artist"
Steam - Talon Valdez :Blizz - Talonious#1860 : Xbox Live & LoL - Talonious Monk @TaloniousMonk Hail Satan
oh god
one day in vent we made fan fics
it's.... it's a slash fan fic
it's god awful
alf/?
For, you know, science.
Steam - Talon Valdez :Blizz - Talonious#1860 : Xbox Live & LoL - Talonious Monk @TaloniousMonk Hail Satan
well, it's not that bad actually
not as bad as other things i've said
i might get banned just for defiling such an important part of most people's childhood television experience.
were you there when Captain K read the Peanuts one?
That was the best night ever. And the fireside style readings by K topped it off.
Steam - Talon Valdez :Blizz - Talonious#1860 : Xbox Live & LoL - Talonious Monk @TaloniousMonk Hail Satan
yes that's what led into it! someone did a smurfs one that was fucking hysterical
and oh god... no seriously, i don't wanna get jailed!
it's like, erotic slash fiction, can i actually post that shit?
slashfic please
We should get in vent and do a reading for all the ones who haven't heard it.
NSFW Erotic ALF slash fiction:
Lynn was at cheerleading practice and Brian was at his boyfriend’s house. Kate was curled up on the couch,
indulging in some white chocolate and reading the most recent issue Red Book magazine when a commotion in the kitchen interrupted the silence.
She rushed into the kitchen to find ALF sprawled on the ground, an empty bottle of Jim Beam in one hand and a tuft of what appeared to be cat hair in the other.
“Fuck that fuckin’ cat…” he slurred.
“ALF!” cried Kate “ALF, are you… are you okay?”
he leered up at her from the floor. His eyes drifting in and out of focus as they slid over her well-toned calves, up to her soft round breasts, obscured by the trendy 1980’s cropped-top varsity sweatshirt she was sporting.
“Kate, have I ever…have I ever told you that you’ve got really awesome tits?”
“ALF!” screamed Kate, trying to sound mortified. She swallowed hard. She never knew ALF felt that way about her. It took her by surprise.
Lord knows she thought about him all the time. His short, hairy body, his strangely arousing, phallic snout. That mole.
“Smarten up ALF, you’re drunk aren’t you? Go upstairs” she tried to sound authoritative but her voice came out as a squeak
“why don’t you come with me baby?” He had gotten up from the floor and was stumbling towards her.
He fell forward clumsily and clutched at her breasts. She gasped. She felt a wrench of pleasure in her loins. She grabbed his shoulders, and tried to push him back, but he lunged forcibly against her,
they tumbled to the floor of the kitchen in a heap
“oh… oh ALF, no… no I can’t, what will will and the kids think?”
“Fuck will and fuck the kids. And fuck me kate. I want to fuck”
Kate’s thighs twitched in anticipation as ALF pulled off her 80’s style stone-wash tapered denim jeans and promptly began giving her oral pleasure. She moaned, grabbing at the coarse, reddish brown hair on the top of his head
“yes! Yes! Eat me you crazy little alien! Eat me! Yes!”
he grabbed her and flipped her over, put her into position and started nailing her from behind while she screamed, and tossed her hair like a wild mare taking it from some really fucking hot stallion or something.
“I’M GOING TO CUM!” she screeched.
“SWEET MELMAC, SO AM I!!” bellowed ALF.
Their bodies shuddered as they climaxed in unison.
Both of them fell to the ground, heaving with passionate exertion.
Suddenly ALF started choking as if he was going to vomit. He coughed up a giant ball of pubic hair. “looks like I finally managed to eat the cat after all”
Make it very clear that it is NSFW and spoiler it.
Nobody is logging text.