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The Avengers! or why a Justice League film can't succeed!

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    heeeeeeeeere we go

    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Is this where I outline my idea for my dream Bond movie (yes it is)

    This only works on the premise that "James Bond 007" is the name and number given to the top 00 agent at any given time, and that when one dies or retires a new one takes his place, so each actor is actually portraying a separate character. Not only does this allow for the different faces and personalities but lack of aging over 50 years, in-universe it makes more sense than a spy telling everyone what his real name is.

    Anyway, my idea was that Sean Connery would come out of retirement to play his Bond again, the first Bond, who is now a leader of a crime syndicate (or terrorist ring, or something). He's a bitter old man who's angry at MI6 for demanding so much of their promising young men before destroying their lives, and he's set out to destroy the agency. He's had all the training they have so he knows how to stay ahead of them and predict their moves, so Craig-Bond can't just punch his way to a solution. It would have a whole lot of revelations about MI6 and the nature of the 00 program and what happens to old cast-off spies.

    It'll never happen because the studio has said they do not support the multiple agents hypothesis
    And even if it were made it would probably have to be the last Bond movie ever

    At the end Connery offers Craig a choice

    1. spare him and join his organization
    2. kill him and lead the organization and carry on Connery's mission of ending MI6
    3. kill him and remain in the MI6 fold

    He's not trying to force or coerce Craig into picking any one choice because, says, Connery, it's a choice freely offered, which is more than MI6 ever gave Craig

    I haven't yet decided which one Craig will pick

    isn't it obvious?
    kill him and retire, let a new bond take over.

    Oh jeez, how did I even forget that one
    That is probably the most likely one

    mwah mwah

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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    The forum ate my post where I said that Penguin Incarnate liked the idea so I consider that my pass to say that if you don't like it you can suck it

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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    grey ghost that is perhaps the ultimate bond pitch

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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    (Also while we're dreaming, The Protomen would do the theme song for it)

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    chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Do you think it's trademarked?Registered User regular
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    heeeeeeeeere we go

    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Is this where I outline my idea for my dream Bond movie (yes it is)

    This only works on the premise that "James Bond 007" is the name and number given to the top 00 agent at any given time, and that when one dies or retires a new one takes his place, so each actor is actually portraying a separate character. Not only does this allow for the different faces and personalities but lack of aging over 50 years, in-universe it makes more sense than a spy telling everyone what his real name is.

    Anyway, my idea was that Sean Connery would come out of retirement to play his Bond again, the first Bond, who is now a leader of a crime syndicate (or terrorist ring, or something). He's a bitter old man who's angry at MI6 for demanding so much of their promising young men before destroying their lives, and he's set out to destroy the agency. He's had all the training they have so he knows how to stay ahead of them and predict their moves, so Craig-Bond can't just punch his way to a solution. It would have a whole lot of revelations about MI6 and the nature of the 00 program and what happens to old cast-off spies.

    It'll never happen because the studio has said they do not support the multiple agents hypothesis
    And even if it were made it would probably have to be the last Bond movie ever

    At the end Connery offers Craig a choice

    1. spare him and join his organization
    2. kill him and lead the organization and carry on Connery's mission of ending MI6
    3. kill him and remain in the MI6 fold

    He's not trying to force or coerce Craig into picking any one choice because, says, Connery, it's a choice freely offered, which is more than MI6 ever gave Craig

    I haven't yet decided which one Craig will pick

    isn't it obvious?
    kill him and retire, let a new bond take over.

    Oh jeez, how did I even forget that one
    That is probably the most likely one

    mwah mwah

    And it keeps the "new bond being hired" post-credits scene. Of course, that choice wouldn't be offered.

    Never satisfies when the hero just takes one of the options on the table.

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    edited May 2012
    chiasaur11 wrote: »
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Antimatter wrote: »
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    heeeeeeeeere we go

    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Is this where I outline my idea for my dream Bond movie (yes it is)

    This only works on the premise that "James Bond 007" is the name and number given to the top 00 agent at any given time, and that when one dies or retires a new one takes his place, so each actor is actually portraying a separate character. Not only does this allow for the different faces and personalities but lack of aging over 50 years, in-universe it makes more sense than a spy telling everyone what his real name is.

    Anyway, my idea was that Sean Connery would come out of retirement to play his Bond again, the first Bond, who is now a leader of a crime syndicate (or terrorist ring, or something). He's a bitter old man who's angry at MI6 for demanding so much of their promising young men before destroying their lives, and he's set out to destroy the agency. He's had all the training they have so he knows how to stay ahead of them and predict their moves, so Craig-Bond can't just punch his way to a solution. It would have a whole lot of revelations about MI6 and the nature of the 00 program and what happens to old cast-off spies.

    It'll never happen because the studio has said they do not support the multiple agents hypothesis
    And even if it were made it would probably have to be the last Bond movie ever

    At the end Connery offers Craig a choice

    1. spare him and join his organization
    2. kill him and lead the organization and carry on Connery's mission of ending MI6
    3. kill him and remain in the MI6 fold

    He's not trying to force or coerce Craig into picking any one choice because, says, Connery, it's a choice freely offered, which is more than MI6 ever gave Craig

    I haven't yet decided which one Craig will pick

    isn't it obvious?
    kill him and retire, let a new bond take over.

    Oh jeez, how did I even forget that one
    That is probably the most likely one

    mwah mwah

    And it keeps the "new bond being hired" post-credits scene. Of course, that choice wouldn't be offered.

    Never satisfies when the hero just takes one of the options on the table.

    exactly
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    The forum ate my post where I said that Penguin Incarnate liked the idea so I consider that my pass to say that if you don't like it you can suck it

    PI also thought Avengers was only okay and thought Dark Shadows looks interesting. No comment.
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    (Also while we're dreaming, The Protomen would do the theme song for it)

    I think you'll find that The Protomen will do the soundtrack for my dream transformers movie. decepticons get an act I metal sound, autobots get an act II joe style set of songs

    Antimatter on
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    The pre-credits opening would start off like your typical Bond cold open but would wind up having Craig shut down and getting his ass handed to him at every turn because Connery doesn't fall into the typical villain pitfalls and monologues and such and invented half the techniques they teach current 00s

    And Craig basically has to limp back to MI6 looking like a fool and has M fill him in on Bond Prime

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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Also Timothy Dalton would be Connery's right-hand man, because I always felt Dalton was the angriest of the bunch and if anyone went rogue it would be him

    And the events of Die Another Day were a hallucination Pierce Brosnan was having while he was being tortured by the North Koreans
    He never actually got out of there

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    i love you so much GG

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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Antimatter wrote: »
    PI also thought Avengers was only okay and thought Dark Shadows looks interesting. No comment.

    Oof

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    Antimatter wrote: »
    PI also thought Avengers was only okay and thought Dark Shadows looks interesting. No comment.

    Oof
    you know you're my bro

    but you also know i will never resist any opportunity to take the wind out of someone's sails


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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    dark shadows is "intersting" in the same way an infinitely repeating fractal will give the illusion of original creation

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    I hate vampires, Johnny Depp, and Tim Burton and. . . I think it kind of looks good? Somehow? I'm as shocked as the next person!

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    The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    The pre-credits opening would start off like your typical Bond cold open but would wind up having Craig shut down and getting his ass handed to him at every turn because Connery doesn't fall into the typical villain pitfalls and monologues and such and invented half the techniques they teach current 00s

    And Craig basically has to limp back to MI6 looking like a fool and has M fill him in on Bond Prime

    to actually make this work

    have the pre-credits sequence only be like two minutes, tops

    and no elaborate credits sequence

    7656367.jpg
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    SeriouslySeriously Registered User regular
    this idea is acceptable

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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    I feel like Roger Moore was the only Bond to get out with his faculties intact

    he got old and retired and now he runs a fish and chip shop in Surrey

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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    are you talkin some shit about sean con

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    TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    What about Bond girls?

    b1ehrMM.gif
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    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    timothy dalton has also done pretty fucking wonderful work since he left the bond franchise

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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    every Bond girl comes back

    even the dead ones

    Bond bangs all of them in turn

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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    hey if i could go the rest of my life without hearing any jokes about how James Bond is a time lord that would be peachy fucking keen

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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    every Bond girl comes back

    even the dead ones

    Bond bangs all of them in turn
    yes

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    The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    also as for dalton being angry

    they murdered his wife

    i'd turn lazenby as an inside joke to the premiere

    dalton should be crazy

    moore should be a drill sgt for bonds because he's seen some shit

    peter sellers is the new q

    7656367.jpg
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    EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes Up Registered User regular
    But wasn't there the whole thing about one Bond visiting another Bond's wife's grave or something? Doesn't that contradict the theory?

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    DJ EebsDJ Eebs Moderator, Administrator admin
    timothy dalton was rad in hot fuzz

    and chuck

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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited May 2012
    But wasn't there the whole thing about one Bond visiting another Bond's wife's grave or something? Doesn't that contradict the theory?

    There are plenty of things that could contradict it
    I think I've seen this particular explained away as a professional courtesy
    There's no reason a Bond couldn't have been friends with his predecessor and mourned his loss

    Grey Ghost on
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    -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    I've also read a version where Craig is the only new James Bond

    PNk1Ml4.png
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    -Tal wrote: »
    I've also read a version where Craig is the only new James Bond

    wait what do you mean
    like the other 40 years of Bonding were all one guy and then Craig is the new one

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    Skull ManSkull Man RIP KUSU Registered User regular
    who was that sexy blonde chick in die another day

    she was slammin

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    TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    What about Jimmy Bond?!

    b1ehrMM.gif
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    Crimson KingCrimson King Registered User regular
    also as for dalton being angry

    they murdered his wife

    i'd turn lazenby as an inside joke to the premiere

    dalton should be crazy

    moore should be a drill sgt for bonds because he's seen some shit

    peter sellers is the new q

    i like the idea of moore being completely out of it

    like, he's old, he's retired, he spends all day pottering about in the garden or sitting on the porch in the sun and watching the girls go by

    he strikes me as too essentially harmless for a sergeant. that's just me though.

    also they should bring jaws back

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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    timothy dalton was rad in hot fuzz

    and chuck

    god Hot Fuzz is so good
    I'm about due for a re-watch

    And production on The End of the World is starting later this year

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    EtchwartsEtchwarts Eyes Up Registered User regular
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    But wasn't there the whole thing about one Bond visiting another Bond's wife's grave or something? Doesn't that contradict the theory?

    There are plenty of things that could contradict it
    I think I've seen this particular explained away as a professional courtesy
    There's no reason a Bond couldn't have been friends with his predecessor and mourned his loss

    I can dig that.

    Don't get me wrong, I love this theory/idea for a movie. TO DEATH

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    -Tal-Tal Registered User regular
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    -Tal wrote: »
    I've also read a version where Craig is the only new James Bond

    wait what do you mean
    like the other 40 years of Bonding were all one guy and then Craig is the new one

    yes

    PNk1Ml4.png
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    AntimatterAntimatter Devo Was Right Gates of SteelRegistered User regular
    god, i can't remember who said it

    i think it was grant morrison? but moore's bond had basically seen it all at that point, and he was so good at saving the world that he purposefully sabotaged himself just to keep it interesting for him

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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Skull Man wrote: »
    who was that sexy blonde chick in die another day

    she was slammin

    Rosamund Pike?

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    The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    edited May 2012
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    -Tal wrote: »
    I've also read a version where Craig is the only new James Bond

    wait what do you mean
    like the other 40 years of Bonding were all one guy and then Craig is the new one

    the first forty years were a time where juan sanchez villa-lobos ramirez was bored and dicking around as a spy

    The Lovely Bastard on
    7656367.jpg
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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Grey Ghost wrote: »
    But wasn't there the whole thing about one Bond visiting another Bond's wife's grave or something? Doesn't that contradict the theory?

    There are plenty of things that could contradict it
    I think I've seen this particular explained away as a professional courtesy
    There's no reason a Bond couldn't have been friends with his predecessor and mourned his loss

    I can dig that.

    Don't get me wrong, I love this theory/idea for a movie. TO DEATH

    There's way more to contradict than to support probably, but I choose to ignore most of it

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    Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Antimatter wrote: »
    god, i can't remember who said it

    i think it was grant morrison? but moore's bond had basically seen it all at that point, and he was so good at saving the world that he purposefully sabotaged himself just to keep it interesting for him

    I guess I can get behind this
    At the very least to try to justify why he spent the action climax of that one movie running around dressed as a sad clown

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    The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    nope sorry, clown climax owns bones

    7656367.jpg
This discussion has been closed.