Y'all have no appreciation for the dramatic power of urinating in The Green Mile
Tom Hanks pees in almost every single movie he's in.
One time, when they were filming a fight scene for The DaVinci Code, Paul Bettany punched Tom Hanks so hard he farted.
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
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AstaerethIn the belly of the beastRegistered Userregular
I think the Wachowskis and Shyamalan have proven that the old Hollywood adage "You're only as good as your last movie" is not remotely true anymore (if it ever was). Apparently you can coast through expensive failure after expensive failure as long as people continue to believe that you might be able to repeat an early, massive success.
This is not to disparage the movies themselves (I think Speed Racer is great, and Shyamalan didn't get terrible until after Lady in the Water). It's just that executives seem to have the mentality of someone plugging endless quarters into a slot machine because they won the jackpot years ago, even though all it's done since is vomit forth Canadian pennies and insult your mother in an abrasive computerized voice.
The Wachokskis make some failure but at least they're usually interesting failures. I think me and my gf are the only two people on earth who actually liked Cloud Atlas.
M. Night i think just stopped even trying like 4 movies ago
I punched him, and he farted. And I didn’t know what the… I didn’t know what the right thing to do was. Whether you mention it or – as an Englishman, I felt as if I should say, ‘Oh God, sorry! I farted!’ He just looked at me and said, ‘You just made me fart. Isn’t that funny?’ And I loved him for it."
"A new take on the epic fantasy genre... Darkly comic, relatable characters... twisted storyline."
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
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Linespider5ALL HAIL KING KILLMONGERRegistered Userregular
To be honest, I wouldn't know what the hell to do in that kind of situation either.
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jungleroomxIt's never too many graves, it's always not enough shovelsRegistered Userregular
The Wachokskis make some failure but at least they're usually interesting failures. I think me and my gf are the only two people on earth who actually liked Cloud Atlas.
M. Night i think just stopped even trying like 4 movies ago
The Happening was hilarious.
Devil was so... so... soooo fucking bad.
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AstaerethIn the belly of the beastRegistered Userregular
Devil isn't totally awful. Also, Shyamalan merely produced it (and I think came up with the idea, which certainly isn't the problem with that movie).
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L Ron HowardThe duckMinnesotaRegistered Userregular
What's wrong with Devil?
I thought it was a competent movie, and didn't seem to have as much of the "what a tweest" on it as everyone thinks Shyamalan movies have.
The Wachokskis have done no wrong to me. The Matrix sequels suck in retrospect, but were great when I saw them in theaters. Everything else they've done has been good and stayed good with age.
I was probably the only person who liked The Village.
I saw it with a bunch of friends and they all walked out of the theatre ranting about how fucking awful it was. I thought it had some fine performances in it, despite the premise having major holes in it.
Like, plot holes galore, this makes no sense sure fine whatever. That doesn't affect the quality of the acting, I'm no film snob but I can still separate things enough to see that, despite the movie being overall silly, all of the principals turned in excellent performances.
Also the really suspenseful scene in the forest with Ron Howard's blind kid
being chased by a horrifying monster, but then the monster is revealed to be a fraud, and the audience breathes this huge sigh of relief, and then the monster actually fucking appears and tries to murder the blind girl was almost pants-wettingly terrifying.
But my friends were too busy hating on minutiae of the setting to appreciate any of it.
The Village is an amazing, amazing movie. Some of the strongest filmmaking of the decade.
Heh?
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L Ron HowardThe duckMinnesotaRegistered Userregular
I liked The Village as well. It's been years since I've seen it, but it hasn't annoyed my like other movies (*cough* MoS *cough*). I thought it was decently thought out, and everything was pretty good about it. Not like earth-shattering anything, but certainly not absolute crap like MoS or Transformers.
I wouldn't go that far, but the parts that were good were really really good, and the parts of the plot that made no sense shouldn't ruin the film for you unless you want them to.
I wouldn't go that far, but the parts that were good were really really good, and the parts of the plot that made no sense shouldn't ruin the film for you unless you want them to.
So it's good, eh? I was readying myself getting disappointed by it :<
I saw a preview screening about a year ago and it was quite good. Unless they've made major changes to it since then, I'd say it's a worthy entry in the "what's the difference between AI and human, maan?" genre.
The Village is an amazing, amazing movie. Some of the strongest filmmaking of the decade.
I think it was a decent little movie with some genuinely good bits, but I am having some profound difficulty seeing anything in it that would qualify as amazing. Like. .. huh?
Help a brother out, homeslice.
Oh, also, I started reading some Outlaw Vern per your suggestion. He has some really great observations and is incredibly readable and he has an archive of twenty bajillion reviews and there goes the next five weeks of my life.
So, you know, thanks a lot, dick.
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
Y'all have no appreciation for the dramatic power of urinating in The Green Mile
Tom Hanks pees in almost every single movie he's in.
"In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said ‘looks like we’re a couple of peeing Toms.’ His angry silence is something I’ll never forget. ” -Tom Hanks
I wonder how many souls we would have to collect to get him to do another 80's style comedy. I'd give a lot to see one more "Money Pit bathtub fall laugh" or the Burbs' "walk out of an exploding house, go to walk down stairs, slide down the whole staircase"
The strangest mistake Devil made was in the marketing.
The first trailer gives away the entire movie.
The biggest problem was that it had a dozen actually serious problems. Starting with the premise that the literal devil, Satan, Lord of Hell, is taking the time to fuck with an elevator full of assholes. Like, I guess he is really bored and he's already exhausted his movie collection because it's Hell and the only films they have down there are bootleg Portuguese dubs of Pluto Nash. Still, seems a little beneath the dude who once got into a war with the God of All Creation.
The Exorcist sidestepped this problem by making the bad guy just some demon. A powerful demon, but still just a demon. Devil went too big.
Then, yeah, the marketing - Hell, even the name - gives everything away. "Yep, it's the devil. Devil is terrorizing an elevator. Yep."
Then there was the terrible script and the nonsensical story. And a carload of unlikable characters who you would probably root against except they're so goddamn boring you can't even muster the energy to do that.
At least The Happening had the decency to be hilariously bad. Devil was just bad-bad.
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
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NocrenLt Futz, Back in ActionNorth CarolinaRegistered Userregular
Y'all have no appreciation for the dramatic power of urinating in The Green Mile
Tom Hanks pees in almost every single movie he's in.
"In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said ‘looks like we’re a couple of peeing Toms.’ His angry silence is something I’ll never forget. ” -Tom Hanks
I really wish this man would do another comedy movie or two...
The strangest mistake Devil made was in the marketing.
The first trailer gives away the entire movie.
The biggest problem was that it had a dozen actually serious problems. Starting with the premise that the literal devil, Satan, Lord of Hell, is taking the time to fuck with an elevator full of assholes. Like, I guess he is really bored and he's already exhausted his movie collection because it's Hell and the only films they have down there are bootleg Portuguese dubs of Pluto Nash. Still, seems a little beneath the dude who once got into a war with the God of All Creation.
The Exorcist sidestepped this problem by making the bad guy just some demon. A powerful demon, but still just a demon. Devil went too big.
Then, yeah, the marketing - Hell, even the name - gives everything away. "Yep, it's the devil. Devil is terrorizing an elevator. Yep."
Then there was the terrible script and the nonsensical story. And a carload of unlikable characters who you would probably root against except they're so goddamn boring you can't even muster the energy to do that.
At least The Happening had the decency to be hilariously bad. Devil was just bad-bad.
I found it hard to keep watching after the security guard guy literally tried to use toast falling buttered side down to prove that the devil was in the building.
The strangest mistake Devil made was in the marketing.
The first trailer gives away the entire movie.
The biggest problem was that it had a dozen actually serious problems. Starting with the premise that the literal devil, Satan, Lord of Hell, is taking the time to fuck with an elevator full of assholes. Like, I guess he is really bored and he's already exhausted his movie collection because it's Hell and the only films they have down there are bootleg Portuguese dubs of Pluto Nash. Still, seems a little beneath the dude who once got into a war with the God of All Creation.
The Exorcist sidestepped this problem by making the bad guy just some demon. A powerful demon, but still just a demon. Devil went too big.
Then, yeah, the marketing - Hell, even the name - gives everything away. "Yep, it's the devil. Devil is terrorizing an elevator. Yep."
Then there was the terrible script and the nonsensical story. And a carload of unlikable characters who you would probably root against except they're so goddamn boring you can't even muster the energy to do that.
At least The Happening had the decency to be hilariously bad. Devil was just bad-bad.
You do know this is the same Devil who went to God and said, "Hey...HEY. I bet if you mess with that guy. That guy over there? He'd TOTALLY turn on you bro"
Devil is all bout that petty shit.
And yeah, the marketing format from top to bottom was abysmal.
And you could have gone with like, a MILLION titles that didn't give away the premise of the movie.
Also the really suspenseful scene in the forest with Ron Howard's blind kid
being chased by a horrifying monster, but then the monster is revealed to be a fraud, and the audience breathes this huge sigh of relief, and then the monster actually fucking appears and tries to murder the blind girl was almost pants-wettingly terrifying.
But my friends were too busy hating on minutiae of the setting to appreciate any of it.
That scene was brilliant,
when shes walking through the woods and the thing is just there, forests can be scary places even in broad daylight and that scene just nails it.
Also somewhat related in "you're only as good as your last movie" I'm fascinated by how hard Mortdecai has turned every critic against Johnny Depp.
Also the really suspenseful scene in the forest with Ron Howard's blind kid
being chased by a horrifying monster, but then the monster is revealed to be a fraud, and the audience breathes this huge sigh of relief, and then the monster actually fucking appears and tries to murder the blind girl was almost pants-wettingly terrifying.
But my friends were too busy hating on minutiae of the setting to appreciate any of it.
That scene was brilliant,
when shes walking through the woods and the thing is just there, forests can have this terrifying vibe even in broad daylight and that scene is the best I've seen at nailing it.
Also somewhat related in "you're only as good as your last movie" I'm fascinated by how hard Mortdecai has turned every critic against Johnny Depp.
I despised the ending and the unnecessary twist, but everything leading up to it was stellar.
Shyamalan has made more great movies than a lot of directors, but his bad movies are SO bad, and his self-insertion shtick is so horrible, that it nearly washes out the outstanding amazingness of Unbreakable, Sixth Sense, Signs, etc.
The strangest mistake Devil made was in the marketing.
The first trailer gives away the entire movie.
The biggest problem was that it had a dozen actually serious problems. Starting with the premise that the literal devil, Satan, Lord of Hell, is taking the time to fuck with an elevator full of assholes. Like, I guess he is really bored and he's already exhausted his movie collection because it's Hell and the only films they have down there are bootleg Portuguese dubs of Pluto Nash. Still, seems a little beneath the dude who once got into a war with the God of All Creation.
The Exorcist sidestepped this problem by making the bad guy just some demon. A powerful demon, but still just a demon. Devil went too big.
Then, yeah, the marketing - Hell, even the name - gives everything away. "Yep, it's the devil. Devil is terrorizing an elevator. Yep."
Then there was the terrible script and the nonsensical story. And a carload of unlikable characters who you would probably root against except they're so goddamn boring you can't even muster the energy to do that.
At least The Happening had the decency to be hilariously bad. Devil was just bad-bad.
You do know this is the same Devil who went to God and said, "Hey...HEY. I bet if you mess with that guy. That guy over there? He'd TOTALLY turn on you bro"
Devil is all bout that petty shit.
And yeah, the marketing format from top to bottom was abysmal.
And you could have gone with like, a MILLION titles that didn't give away the premise of the movie.
"Coming this summer... M Night Shyamalan's Evil Thing in an Elevator, Maybe It's the Devil, We Ain't Saying."
I submitted an entry to Lego Ideas, and if 10,000 people support me, it'll be turned into an actual Lego set!If you'd like to see and support my submission, follow this link.
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Wolfman's got nards, yo.
It looks neat enough but that movie is going to bomb so badly.
One time, when they were filming a fight scene for The DaVinci Code, Paul Bettany punched Tom Hanks so hard he farted.
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
This is not to disparage the movies themselves (I think Speed Racer is great, and Shyamalan didn't get terrible until after Lady in the Water). It's just that executives seem to have the mentality of someone plugging endless quarters into a slot machine because they won the jackpot years ago, even though all it's done since is vomit forth Canadian pennies and insult your mother in an abrasive computerized voice.
M. Night i think just stopped even trying like 4 movies ago
http://www.cinemablend.com/new/Greatest-Tom-Hanks-Fart-Story-All-Time-69398.html
"Readers who prefer tension and romance, Maledictions: The Offering, delivers... As serious YA fiction, I’ll give it five stars out of five. As a novel? Four and a half." - Liz Ellor
My new novel: Maledictions: The Offering. Now in Paperback!
The Happening was hilarious.
Devil was so... so... soooo fucking bad.
I thought it was a competent movie, and didn't seem to have as much of the "what a tweest" on it as everyone thinks Shyamalan movies have.
The first trailer gives away the entire movie.
I saw it with a bunch of friends and they all walked out of the theatre ranting about how fucking awful it was. I thought it had some fine performances in it, despite the premise having major holes in it.
Like, plot holes galore, this makes no sense sure fine whatever. That doesn't affect the quality of the acting, I'm no film snob but I can still separate things enough to see that, despite the movie being overall silly, all of the principals turned in excellent performances.
Also the really suspenseful scene in the forest with Ron Howard's blind kid
But my friends were too busy hating on minutiae of the setting to appreciate any of it.
Heh?
Pretty much called the twist from jump street on it. I mean, before seeing the movie.
Which part have I gone too far on?
I saw a preview screening about a year ago and it was quite good. Unless they've made major changes to it since then, I'd say it's a worthy entry in the "what's the difference between AI and human, maan?" genre.
I think it was a decent little movie with some genuinely good bits, but I am having some profound difficulty seeing anything in it that would qualify as amazing. Like. .. huh?
Help a brother out, homeslice.
Oh, also, I started reading some Outlaw Vern per your suggestion. He has some really great observations and is incredibly readable and he has an archive of twenty bajillion reviews and there goes the next five weeks of my life.
So, you know, thanks a lot, dick.
"In the 1998 Oscars, I found myself in the bathroom in a stall, next to Tom Selleck. So I leaned over and I said ‘looks like we’re a couple of peeing Toms.’ His angry silence is something I’ll never forget. ” -Tom Hanks
I wonder how many souls we would have to collect to get him to do another 80's style comedy. I'd give a lot to see one more "Money Pit bathtub fall laugh" or the Burbs' "walk out of an exploding house, go to walk down stairs, slide down the whole staircase"
Not the burbs clip I want, but the scene after. It's pretty amazing. Spoiler for the burbs.
The biggest problem was that it had a dozen actually serious problems. Starting with the premise that the literal devil, Satan, Lord of Hell, is taking the time to fuck with an elevator full of assholes. Like, I guess he is really bored and he's already exhausted his movie collection because it's Hell and the only films they have down there are bootleg Portuguese dubs of Pluto Nash. Still, seems a little beneath the dude who once got into a war with the God of All Creation.
The Exorcist sidestepped this problem by making the bad guy just some demon. A powerful demon, but still just a demon. Devil went too big.
Then, yeah, the marketing - Hell, even the name - gives everything away. "Yep, it's the devil. Devil is terrorizing an elevator. Yep."
Then there was the terrible script and the nonsensical story. And a carload of unlikable characters who you would probably root against except they're so goddamn boring you can't even muster the energy to do that.
At least The Happening had the decency to be hilariously bad. Devil was just bad-bad.
I really wish this man would do another comedy movie or two...
I found it hard to keep watching after the security guard guy literally tried to use toast falling buttered side down to prove that the devil was in the building.
You do know this is the same Devil who went to God and said, "Hey...HEY. I bet if you mess with that guy. That guy over there? He'd TOTALLY turn on you bro"
Devil is all bout that petty shit.
And yeah, the marketing format from top to bottom was abysmal.
And you could have gone with like, a MILLION titles that didn't give away the premise of the movie.
That scene was brilliant,
Also somewhat related in "you're only as good as your last movie" I'm fascinated by how hard Mortdecai has turned every critic against Johnny Depp.
That scene was brilliant,
Also somewhat related in "you're only as good as your last movie" I'm fascinated by how hard Mortdecai has turned every critic against Johnny Depp.
I despised the ending and the unnecessary twist, but everything leading up to it was stellar.
Shyamalan has made more great movies than a lot of directors, but his bad movies are SO bad, and his self-insertion shtick is so horrible, that it nearly washes out the outstanding amazingness of Unbreakable, Sixth Sense, Signs, etc.
twitch.tv/Taramoor
@TaramoorPlays
Taramoor on Youtube
You look Tom Hanks square in the eyes and fart right back of course!
It's the only way to assert dominance.
"Coming this summer... M Night Shyamalan's Evil Thing in an Elevator, Maybe It's the Devil, We Ain't Saying."