I tell you what though I would like to go back and tell me on Saturday at about 6:45 to run R&D the turn before the other guy scored out of the remote to win and take third place because you have a Medium with three counters on it and and only four cards in his deck to see and there's five agendas in the wild somewhere? You coulda been a contender, me on Saturday.
It'd be nice to have won the state wrestling championship. I had access to top notch coaching, but I should've started earlier and convinced my parents to let me do all the summer clinics.
actually she like, kind of cuckolded me once. what a weird memory. remembering this incident (where she caught me staring at her ass and made some remark like 'white boy trying to bite off more than he can chew' while sort of sashaying and all of our present friends (all black) started laughing) jarred her name loose for me- first time in 10 years.
maybe i am destined to be the male un-talent in humiliation porn because i remember her super fondly
The thing I would do, though? I'd explain to myself that not getting laid in high school isn't a referendum on one's worth as a human being. That sure would have cleared up a lot of confusion.
Ugh, yes
I knew, intellectually, that I shouldn't feel compelled to lose my virginity, but the knowledge didn't make the feelings of inadequacy and shame go away.
Some of the worst feelings came from places that were trying to be supportive and positive about it.
"Don't sweat it! Everyone develops at different rates, and it'll just happen when you're mature enough!"
yeah I guess I am less mature than my friend's hillbilly cousin who got a girl pregnant in seventh grade that's fucking great thx
A lot of the current feminist discourse about male entitlement to sex rings hollow to me because it is written from the point of view of women and underestimates just how much young men are taught that their personal value comes from sexual prowess.
I keep feeling like I want to write about it in a more serious venue but I really don't want to put my real name behind it.
I obviously don't deny that this is something young men are taught but I think that the idea that, absent that, it would somehow not hurt, is fucking bonkers
being excluded from fun things just sucks. seeing people who are just like you getting to do stuff that you can't (for reasons that are often not even apparent to you!) can be incredibly painful.
the maturity comes not in actually finding some super-secret trick to change one's circumstances - often they can't be changed! - but in recognizing when they are circumstantial and not a sign that you yourself are some kind of unloveable, fundamentally broken thing
That last sentence is pretty much me for most of my adulthood, really
I mean there is a degree to which I still dip into those thoughts sometimes, but a whole bunch of stuff and changes I have made in my life after the age of 24 has shifted me into better territory
@simonwolf for what it's worth, you seem a lot more chill than in years past. I think the lady's moon-blood witchery is working.
+2
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Orphanerivers of redthat run to seaRegistered Userregular
I tell you what though I would like to go back and tell me on Saturday at about 6:45 to run R&D the turn before the other guy scored out of the remote to win and take third place because you have a Medium with three counters on it and and only four cards in his deck to see and there's five agendas in the wild somewhere? You coulda been a contender, me on Saturday.
Now you're just a bum.
I got to play again last Thursday with my friend, my NBN against his Crims, and oh my god this time I just got crushed. He snagged three agendas from R&D in the first two turns and won, so we took a second game that went a little better but I was just crippled by lack of economy.
i need to work on how to get NBN out of the cash-poor ghetto
+1
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simonwolfi can feel a differencetoday, a differenceRegistered Userregular
The thing I would do, though? I'd explain to myself that not getting laid in high school isn't a referendum on one's worth as a human being. That sure would have cleared up a lot of confusion.
Ugh, yes
I knew, intellectually, that I shouldn't feel compelled to lose my virginity, but the knowledge didn't make the feelings of inadequacy and shame go away.
Some of the worst feelings came from places that were trying to be supportive and positive about it.
"Don't sweat it! Everyone develops at different rates, and it'll just happen when you're mature enough!"
yeah I guess I am less mature than my friend's hillbilly cousin who got a girl pregnant in seventh grade that's fucking great thx
A lot of the current feminist discourse about male entitlement to sex rings hollow to me because it is written from the point of view of women and underestimates just how much young men are taught that their personal value comes from sexual prowess.
I keep feeling like I want to write about it in a more serious venue but I really don't want to put my real name behind it.
I obviously don't deny that this is something young men are taught but I think that the idea that, absent that, it would somehow not hurt, is fucking bonkers
being excluded from fun things just sucks. seeing people who are just like you getting to do stuff that you can't (for reasons that are often not even apparent to you!) can be incredibly painful.
the maturity comes not in actually finding some super-secret trick to change one's circumstances - often they can't be changed! - but in recognizing when they are circumstantial and not a sign that you yourself are some kind of unloveable, fundamentally broken thing
That last sentence is pretty much me for most of my adulthood, really
I mean there is a degree to which I still dip into those thoughts sometimes, but a whole bunch of stuff and changes I have made in my life after the age of 24 has shifted me into better territory
simonwolf for what it's worth, you seem a lot more chill than in years past. I think the lady's moon-blood witchery is working.
I think you have mentioned this before and it is appreciated on a number of levels that I have perceptively shifted out of my full-on depressive years to something more akin to the quiet self-deprecation everyone kind of goes through at points
Actually putting myself out there and trying to smooch girls in a proactive (and consensual) manner certainly helped, though
There are a couple of fairly wealthy NBN archetypes at the moment. The NEH model that's been crushing it for months now sets up PAD Campaigns and Marked Accounts for a drip feed economy and plays Sweeps Weeks and Hedge Fund for some burst economy, combining it with cheap, taxing ice like Wraparound, pop-up window (which is also economy), Eli and Enigma. You don't need to keep your servers safe (except maybe the one you put a SanSan into) so don't need to rez a ton of ice, as you're planning on scoring everything from hand, either on the SanSan or via an Astro token. Clot coming out gave this archetype a hit, but it's still around, and still pretty good. You can include a Cyberdex Virus Suites in your deck to combat Clot as well.
There's a variant of the above called Butchershop that is a murder deck, running Midseasons to drown the runner in tags before scorching the earth, often tempting the runner by putting down a Breaking News and advancing it once. They either run it, allowing you to Midseasons them, or you score it on your turn, giving them two tags and two clicks to scorch them or burn down their resources.
I'm currently running an NBN deck with the new NBN identity: Haarpsichord Studios (the lore is that they're an entertainment division). Their power is that the runner can only steal one agenda per turn, so if you put down two Astros, you can definitely score one out on your turn even if the runner accesses both*. My deck basically runs about 18 agendas, all 1-pointers (except for 3 Astros), very little ice (wraparound, data raven, pop-up window), and a tone of economy (Hedge Fund, Sweeps Week, Restructure, the Profiteering agenda that gets you 15 credits, etc).
The plan is to get rich quick, outpacing the runner so you can Midseasons them and then kill them. Since they can only steal one agenda per turn they can't get a lucky, fast win and since you're running almost all 1-pointers they can't score quickly either, giving you time to get rich and get the kill combo in hand. It works ok, but Imp and Film Critic hurt it. It's loads of fun to play, though, and I took fourth in a tournament with it over the weekend.
*they can, however, Imp the other one if they have an Imp, or use the new Film Critic card to take it without technically stealing it, which is annoying as hell.
Also Noise is back in a big way, rivalling the long-standing best runner deck, PPVP Kate. New Noise is the same as the old Noise, except that Adjusted Chronotype gets rid of the lost click from Wyldside, giving him two free card draws every turn, and Faust is a new Anarch AI breaker that burns cards instead of money to raise strength and break subroutines, meaning that you can use it to break basically anything in a pinch.
You stick three clone chips and three of the Criminal Cache virus programs in your deck, fill the rest with cheap viruses that mill the corp deck horribly, dumping all their precious cards into the bin, and you have a very reliable machine that plays cheap viruses, eats them with Aesops Pawnshop for clickless credits every turn, draws two free cards every turn and is generally a nightmare to play against.
Today, I'm sheltering from the rain outside a Five Guys for just long enough so that it won't be really obvious when I go in that I've been hanging around waiting for it to open.
Posts
Now you're just a bum.
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I'd take back those words that hurt you, and you'd stay...
maybe i am destined to be the male un-talent in humiliation porn because i remember her super fondly
Great time for me to arrive.
Hi, [chat].
I believe in you.
have a weird study of cartoon characters i made.
(*Also on Tumblr somewhere if you care to find it somehow)
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
I think I'm already following your Tumblr, actually! Neat stuff.
let's talk about squirm and me
*rips off shirt*
I'm ready.
@simonwolf for what it's worth, you seem a lot more chill than in years past. I think the lady's moon-blood witchery is working.
I thought that Salt and Peppa were now verboten after the INCIDENT
if I could reach the stars!
I'd give them all to you!
We agreed that Salt and Peppa were allowed once again, provided we forwent mention of the INCIDENT in any way, shape or form.
So great fucking job, Apo.
If I had a million dollars
(if I had a million dollars!)
Well, I'd buy you a fur coat
(But not a real fur coat, that's cruel)
I got to play again last Thursday with my friend, my NBN against his Crims, and oh my god this time I just got crushed. He snagged three agendas from R&D in the first two turns and won, so we took a second game that went a little better but I was just crippled by lack of economy.
i need to work on how to get NBN out of the cash-poor ghetto
I think you have mentioned this before and it is appreciated on a number of levels that I have perceptively shifted out of my full-on depressive years to something more akin to the quiet self-deprecation everyone kind of goes through at points
Actually putting myself out there and trying to smooch girls in a proactive (and consensual) manner certainly helped, though
It's come to this, I now recognize that Japanese lady's cat without even having to hit play.
I must make a pilgrimage to this cat and prove my worth.
You do not go to Japanese lady's cat.
Japanese lady's cat comes to you.
it is the truth beyond the truth
Martin Lawrence, Kid n Play, and Salt n Pepa all worked together at the same Sears before they became famous
Billions of tons of fusing hydrogen. Just what I needed.
So what you're saying is, if I want to be truly famous, I need to start off with a job at Macy's.
@Jacobkosh
There are a couple of fairly wealthy NBN archetypes at the moment. The NEH model that's been crushing it for months now sets up PAD Campaigns and Marked Accounts for a drip feed economy and plays Sweeps Weeks and Hedge Fund for some burst economy, combining it with cheap, taxing ice like Wraparound, pop-up window (which is also economy), Eli and Enigma. You don't need to keep your servers safe (except maybe the one you put a SanSan into) so don't need to rez a ton of ice, as you're planning on scoring everything from hand, either on the SanSan or via an Astro token. Clot coming out gave this archetype a hit, but it's still around, and still pretty good. You can include a Cyberdex Virus Suites in your deck to combat Clot as well.
There's a variant of the above called Butchershop that is a murder deck, running Midseasons to drown the runner in tags before scorching the earth, often tempting the runner by putting down a Breaking News and advancing it once. They either run it, allowing you to Midseasons them, or you score it on your turn, giving them two tags and two clicks to scorch them or burn down their resources.
I'm currently running an NBN deck with the new NBN identity: Haarpsichord Studios (the lore is that they're an entertainment division). Their power is that the runner can only steal one agenda per turn, so if you put down two Astros, you can definitely score one out on your turn even if the runner accesses both*. My deck basically runs about 18 agendas, all 1-pointers (except for 3 Astros), very little ice (wraparound, data raven, pop-up window), and a tone of economy (Hedge Fund, Sweeps Week, Restructure, the Profiteering agenda that gets you 15 credits, etc).
The plan is to get rich quick, outpacing the runner so you can Midseasons them and then kill them. Since they can only steal one agenda per turn they can't get a lucky, fast win and since you're running almost all 1-pointers they can't score quickly either, giving you time to get rich and get the kill combo in hand. It works ok, but Imp and Film Critic hurt it. It's loads of fun to play, though, and I took fourth in a tournament with it over the weekend.
*they can, however, Imp the other one if they have an Imp, or use the new Film Critic card to take it without technically stealing it, which is annoying as hell.
Choose Your Own Chat 1 Choose Your Own Chat 2 Choose Your Own Chat 3
You stick three clone chips and three of the Criminal Cache virus programs in your deck, fill the rest with cheap viruses that mill the corp deck horribly, dumping all their precious cards into the bin, and you have a very reliable machine that plays cheap viruses, eats them with Aesops Pawnshop for clickless credits every turn, draws two free cards every turn and is generally a nightmare to play against.
Choose Your Own Chat 1 Choose Your Own Chat 2 Choose Your Own Chat 3
I don't know, who doesn't have a use for that?
Anyone who needs something heavier than iron.
I'll get my coat.
No regrets.
I followed you entirely based on that post.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
Today, I'm sheltering from the rain outside a Five Guys for just long enough so that it won't be really obvious when I go in that I've been hanging around waiting for it to open.
Hooray for being a grownup.