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The Even Worse Joke Thread

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Posts

  • Karrde1842Karrde1842 Registered User regular
    Anubis was a bad idea when this whole thing started.

    joshofalltradesvalhalla130destroyah87GoldenSeducerToxJoolanderSlacker71NijaTofystedethElvenshaeKruite
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades 地獄のようにかわいい あなたは嫉妬深いかRegistered User regular
    What does a bee use to keep his hair looking nice?
    A honeycomb

    ジェイムズ・ブラウンの好きな色は何ですか?
    青!
    Metzger Meistervalhalla130destroyah87GoldenSeducerSlacker71YukiraMild Confusion
  • ToxTox I kill threads Punch DimensionRegistered User regular
    There were three medieval kingdoms on the shores of a lake. There was an island in the middle of the lake, over which the kingdoms had been fighting for years. Finally, the three kings decided that they would send their knights out to do battle, and the winner would take the island. The night before the battle, the knights and their squires pitched camp and readied themselves for the fight. The first kingdom had 12 knights, and each knight had five squires, all of whom were busily polishing armor, brushing horses, and cooking food. The second kingdom had twenty knights, and each knight had 10 squires. Everyone at that camp was also busy preparing for battle.

    At the camp of the third kingdom, there was only one knight, with his squire. This squire took a large pot and hung it from a looped rope in a tall tree. He busied himself preparing the meal, while the knight polished his own armor. When the hour of the battle came, the three kingdoms sent their squires out to fight (this was too trivial a matter for the knights to join in). The battle raged, and when the dust had cleared, the only person left was the lone squire from the third kingdom, having defeated the squires from the other two kingdoms, thus proving that the squire of the high pot and noose is equal to the sum of the squires of the other two sides.

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  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    Fuck you

    Fuck Firearm Fetishism
    86 45
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  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    I love that I can awesome Tox's joke and agree with knitdan's "fuck you" and only feel a tiny bit hypocritical for it.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
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  • knitdanknitdan Registered User regular
    I feel like a simple "fuck you" is one of the highest compliments one can pay in this thread.

    Fuck Firearm Fetishism
    86 45
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  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    What has two grey legs and two brown legs
    An elephant with diarrhea

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
    chrishallett83Mr FuzzbuttjoshofalltradesToxGoldenSeducerSporkAndrew
  • Sarah_JaneSarah_Jane Registered User new member
    What did the arab man call his daughter's black boyfriend?
    Haram-bae

  • Mr FuzzbuttMr Fuzzbutt Registered User regular
    awkward silence

    FYYss9j.png
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  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    I suspect that joke has been significantly cleaned up on its way here from /b/...

  • DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    edited September 2016
    Ok, I get the super racist comparing to a gorilla part, but why is an Arab man?

    As told there's no point to the father being Arab. It's completely unnecessary information, thus distracting from the joke in total. Why was this information included in the joke if it's not needed? It's just bad joke design on all levels, and not even in a fun way.

    I mean, if it was Harem-bae, then it would just be super racist and not funny, but it would at least make sense

    Decomposey on
    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
  • GrobianGrobian What's on sale? Pliers!Registered User regular
    edited September 2016
    Haram means forbidden or taboo in Arabic. The joke is that by combining two terms from different languages you get a memeified gorilla. I didn't see it as calling someone a gorilla but now that it's been mentioned I can understand how you can get there.

    Grobian on
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  • DecomposeyDecomposey Registered User regular
    edited September 2016
    Ah, ok. So then I retract my earlier post. The joke makes sense, and is just super racist and not funny.

    Decomposey on
    Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
    destroyah87AngelHedgiechrishallett83Rainfall
  • chrishallett83chrishallett83 Hi! Registered User regular
    Decomposey wrote: »
    Ok, I get the super racist comparing to a gorilla part, but why is an Arab man?

    As told there's no point to the father being Arab. It's completely unnecessary information, thus distracting from the joke in total. Why was this information included in the joke if it's not needed? It's just bad joke design on all levels, and not even in a fun way.

    I mean, if it was Harem-bae, then it would just be super racist and not funny, but it would at least make sense

    I think it should be haraam-bae?

  • JedocJedoc I fought THE POD and THE POD wonRegistered User regular
    Either spelling is acceptable! It's hard to transcribe directly from Arabic to English because of the way the vowels work. As in, they're usually not written out, and you just know what sounds are supposed to be there through context. You can sort of put vowels in using diacritical marks if it's an obscure word or one where exact pronunciation is religiously important, but it's complicated. As a result, most English transcription systems try to communicate the sound of the spoken word rather than directly carrying over the letters, and the resulting vowels can vary from system to system. Especially since there are phonemes in Arabic that don't even appear in spoken English.

    My wife reads and speaks pretty good Arabic, and she's tried to explain it to me. It sounds impossibly complicated, but I guess that's why I'm not a linguist.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
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  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    VjjeQMN.jpg

    How far The Proclaimers are willing to walk for you.

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  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    I would like to live till the year 2020, when everything will be more clear.

    Bedlam Auto Collision: We meet our best customers by accident.

  • JebusUDJebusUD Adventure! Caaba Beankomy XobthroRegistered User regular
    Bedlam wrote: »
    VjjeQMN.jpg

    How far The Proclaimers are willing to walk for you.

    Iceland just made the cut.

    ... good for them

    And I won, so you lose,
    Guess it always comes down to.
  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Bedlam wrote: »
    I would like to live till the year 2020, when everything will be more clear.

    Bedlam Auto Collision: We meet our best customers by accident.

    "Where do you see yourself in 4 years?"
    "I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision"

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
    destroyah87chromdomBedlamToxGoldenSeducerNijaRhesus PositiveSlacker71darunia106AnialossarukunElvenshaeOlivawMild Confusion
  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades 地獄のようにかわいい あなたは嫉妬深いかRegistered User regular
    Bedlam wrote: »
    VjjeQMN.jpg

    How far The Proclaimers are willing to walk for you.

    They never specified the starting point, or that it would be in a straight line!

    Maybe they were just going to walk up and down the street a zillion times.

    ジェイムズ・ブラウンの好きな色は何ですか?
    青!
  • see317see317 Registered User regular
    Bedlam wrote: »
    VjjeQMN.jpg

    How far The Proclaimers are willing to walk for you.

    They never specified the starting point, or that it would be in a straight line!

    Maybe they were just going to walk up and down the street a zillion times.

    Sure, but "I'm going to walk around in front of your house for weeks on end" sounds a lot less romantic and a lot more stalkery.

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    joshofalltradesMcFodderJoolanderSlacker71Elvenshae
  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    Donald Trump Announces today that he has unlocked the secret to human cloning! He has used the technique on his running mate about half a dozen times, but admits that the process required a lot of money to perfect. Making him Six Pence None the Richer.

    Dark Raven XMadEddyMetzger MeisterTommy2HandsToxPolaritieGoldenSeducertzeentchlingNijaJoolanderTofystedethYaYaAnialosElvenshae
  • Metzger MeisterMetzger Meister Registered User regular
    Bedlam wrote: »
    Donald Trump Announces today that he has unlocked the secret to human cloning! He has used the technique on his running mate about half a dozen times, but admits that the process required a lot of money to perfect. Making him Six Pence None the Richer.

    Kiss me.

    Tommy2HandsGoldenSeducerTamindjmitchellaYaYa
  • LalaboxLalabox Registered User regular
    this fibonacci joke is as bad as the last two you heard combined

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  • Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Bedlam wrote: »
    VjjeQMN.jpg

    How far The Proclaimers are willing to walk for you.

    They never specified the starting point, or that it would be in a straight line!

    Maybe they were just going to walk up and down the street a zillion times.

    Sure, but "I'm going to walk around in front of your house for weeks on end" sounds a lot less romantic and a lot more stalkery.

    I hope I'm not the only one to try and fit that line into the song's metre

  • IvarIvar Registered User regular
    see317 wrote: »
    Bedlam wrote: »
    VjjeQMN.jpg

    How far The Proclaimers are willing to walk for you.

    They never specified the starting point, or that it would be in a straight line!

    Maybe they were just going to walk up and down the street a zillion times.

    Sure, but "I'm going to walk around in front of your house for weeks on end" sounds a lot less romantic and a lot more stalkery.

    I hope I'm not the only one to try and fit that line into the song's metre

    I'm going to walk around in front of
    your fine house for weeks on end

    kinda works, you just have to tweak it a bit

  • WordLustWordLust Registered User regular
    Reposting this gem from another thread:
    gmubh3jox3ce.png

    Metzger MeisterknitdanPolaritieJoolanderGoldenSeducerToxMadEddydarunia106sarukunElvenshaeMild Confusion
  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    What do you end up with when you give Eevee a French Stone?
    Napoleon

    zappsigsm.jpg
    Amazon wish list | Please check out my wife's blog and jewelry store.
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  • GoatmonGoatmon Property of Amara_P Registered User regular
    God damn it.

    Switch Friend Code: SW-6680-6709-4204


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  • ToxTox I kill threads Punch DimensionRegistered User regular
    edited September 2016
    All the folk pop rock of the 70s and 80s you want
    a buffet of Buffett, if you will

    Tox on
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  • JoolanderJoolander Registered User regular
    I most certainly will not

    joshofalltradesironsizide
  • AngelHedgieAngelHedgie Registered User regular
    Tox wrote: »
    All the folk pop rock of the 70s and 80s you want
    a buffet of Buffett, if you will

    I'm going to say no thanks to your Cheeseburger in Paradise.

    XBL: Nox Aeternum / PSN: NoxAeternum / NN:NoxAeternum / Steam: noxaeternum
  • JedocJedoc I fought THE POD and THE POD wonRegistered User regular
    I really tried to like that joke, but I ended up just going back to a joke I liked before.

    GDdCWMm.jpg
  • WordLustWordLust Registered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »
    What do you end up with when you give Eevee a French Stone?
    Napoleon

    I'm repeating a joke I already posted, but this joke is better:

    What do you get when you throw a hand grenade into a french kitchen?
    linoleum blown apart

    Tofystedethsarukun
  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Drunk people run stop signs, High people wait for them to turn green.

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
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  • The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    edited September 2016
    If you want to add insult to injury in England, use a sod off shotgun.

    The Geek on
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  • joshofalltradesjoshofalltrades 地獄のようにかわいい あなたは嫉妬深いかRegistered User regular
    I ate four whole cans of alphabet soup earlier.
    So I just had the biggest vowel movement ever.

    ジェイムズ・ブラウンの好きな色は何ですか?
    青!
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  • BedlamBedlam Registered User regular
    Please stop touching my pool table, it already got felt.

    WordLustGoldenSeducer
  • WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    Bedlam wrote: »
    Please stop touching my pool table, it already got felt.

    Sorry, I went balls deep in your pool table

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
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