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[Cards Against Humanity] TRV wins and wrecks it for everyone else.

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Posts

  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Meaningless sex in the lab.

    omgbfz5lzi1s.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Only science could make sex boring. @Cythraul understands that not knowing what is going on is usually more fun.

    Additional white cards will be sent out shortly for the next round.

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Additional cards are out and @Cythraul is ready to judge:

    Round 33: The last three items on my "bucket list":_____, _____ and _____.

    @Anialos @Elvenshae @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

    Two people are on the verge of winning and there are a lot of blanks out there! Do not go quietly into that dark night!

  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited June 16
    @Cythraul has done everything he needs to do in life other than judge this round:

    The last three items on my "bucket list": Incest, Placenta polenta and Three consecutive seconds of happiness. (TheRoadVirus)
    The last three items on my "bucket list": Fucking up "Silent Night" in front of 300 parents, Giving a dolphin a handjob for science and Insisting that Jesus is technically a zombie. (Anialos)
    The last three items on my "bucket list": Jared's six-inch kiddie meal, A Category 5 assnado and Jeff Goldblum. (LostNinja)
    The last three items on my "bucket list": Syrupy sex with a maple tree, The Hamburglar and The dentist. (Lucedes)
    The last three items on my "bucket list": Overpowering your father, Advice from a wise, old black man and Eating pussy with a knife and fork. (MrTLicious)
    The last three items on my "bucket list": Porn stars, Crystal meth and Actually winning a game of CAH. (Elvenshae :star: )
    The last three items on my "bucket list": Swapping bodies with mom for a day, Scissoring and Doing the right stuff to her nipples. (see317)

    chamberlain on
    LucedesElvenshaeTheRoadVirus
  • CythraulCythraul Registered User regular
    I'm so conflicted!

    Confusion will be my epitaph
    Elvenshae
  • CythraulCythraul Registered User regular
    Before I change my mind:

    The last three items on my "bucket list": Porn stars, Crystal meth and Actually winning a game of CAH.

    Confusion will be my epitaph
    ElvenshaeMegafrost
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus Trans woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Noooooo

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    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    @Elvenshae hasn't won yet but at 3 points this may be closer than he has ever been before.

    Round 34: When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful?

    @Anialos @Cythraul @LostNinja @Lucedes @MrTLicious @see317 @TheRoadVirus

    Please do not take relationship advice from Cards Against Humanity.

    ElvenshaeTheRoadVirus
  • LucedesLucedes Yahaha! Registered User regular
    i usually give good relationship advice

    this was not it

    Allegiances change, Virgil. Call it betrayal if you want, I call it playing Phalla.
    TheRoadVirusElvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    edited June 18
    If this is how @Elvenshae apologizes for fucking up what does he do to make up for the apology for fucking up?

    When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? Quivering jowls. (LostNinja)
    When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? A night of Taco Bell and anal sex. (Lucedes)
    When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? Assless chaps. (MrTLicious)
    When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? A bigger, blacker dick. (Anialos)
    When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? Mesothelioma. (see317)
    When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? A man from Craigslist. (Cythraul)
    When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? My vagina. (TheRoadVirus :star: )

    chamberlain on
    TheRoadVirus
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? My vagina.

    omgbfz5lzi1s.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
    TheRoadVirus
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus Trans woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    giphy.gif

    TDPforum.png
    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
    OatsElvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    TheRoadVirus really is the worst of us.

    He wins again! Better update later today.

    TheRoadVirusElvenshae
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus Trans woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    I'm going to sit out the next one. I don't wanna clog up the line. This was fun though. Thanks for running!

    TDPforum.png
    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Results for this game:

    Anialos (5/8)
    Go-Go-Gadget Yoga pants!
    Tonight we will have sex. And afterwards, If you'd like, a little bit of Whatever you wish, mother.
    Three bullet points from my OKCupid® profile: Plato's Allegory of the Cave or some other pretentious bullshit, Oxytocin release via manual stimulation of the nipples, and, (most importantly) Waking up half-naked in a Denny's parking lot.
    During his midlife crisis, my dad got really into Korean Jesus.
    Every step towards The poophole loophole gets me a little closer to An ass disaster.

    Cythraul (4/8)
    Next on Adult Swim™: The Adventures of Frolicking and Rehab.
    Science will never explain the origin of A turbo-encabulator, complete with pre-famulated amulite surmounted by a malleable logarithmic casing.
    The Five Stages of Grief: denial, anger, bargaining, An entire bottle of Jägermeister®, acceptance.
    In what's being hailed as a major breakthrough, scientists have synthesized Meaningless sex in the lab.

    Elvenshae (3/8)
    What does Dick Cheney prefer? German dungeon porn.
    As king, how will I keep the peasants in line? Being a motherfucking sorcerer.
    The last three items on my "bucket list": Porn stars, Crystal meth and Actually winning a game of CAH.

    LostNinja (7/8)
    What brought the orgy to a grinding halt? Mr. and Mrs. Tambourine Man's jingle-jangle morning sex.
    Forget Fifty Shades of Grey… Give me Fifty Shades of A cock-gobbling cock-goblin!
    Filling every pouch of a UtiliKilt with pizza. High five, bro.
    Well what do you have to say for yourself, Casey? This is the third time you've been sent to the principal's office for The creative use of a pool noodle.
    Come to Dubai, where you can relax in our world famous spas, experience the nightlife, or simply enjoy Some god-damn peace and quiet by the poolside.
    Only two things in life are certain: death and Stank dick.
    Come with me on an adventure to the land of Swishing the wine around and sniffing it like a big fancy man.

    Lucedes (2/8)
    If you want a picture of the future, imagine a boot stamping on A ball pit filled with testicles --forever.
    War! *huh*yeah* What is it good for? Leveling up.

    MrTLicious (1/8)
    Do the Dew with our most extreme flavor yet! Get ready for Mountain Dew Full HD!

    see317 (6/8)
    What are my parents hiding from me? The sound of a toddler's skull cracking against the pavement.
    Believe it or not, Jim Carrey can do a dead-on impression of Road head.
    I love the smell of An ether-soaked rag in the morning.
    If you can't handle Being paralyzed from the neck down, you'd better stay away from A grumpy old Harrison Ford who'd rather be doing anything else.
    Tonight on SNICK: "Are You Afraid of Puberty?"
    The unbelievable world of mushrooms. That's how I want to die.

    TheRoadVirus (8/8) :star:
    CTV presents Mushy tushy, the story of Peeing into a girl's butt to make a baby.
    Everyone down on the ground! We don't want to hurt anyone. We're just here for A bass drop so huge it tears the starry vault asunder to reveal the face of God.
    O Canada, we stand on guard for Puppies!
    A disappointing birthday party. Betcha can't have just one!
    I have this recurring dream where I'm A dumpster fire, and I'm giving Just the tip to The Fanta girls.
    Michael Bay's new three-hour action epic pits The WNBA against The Land of Chocolate.
    I do wish the newspapers hadn't mentioned Drinking ten 5-hour ENERGYs to get fifty continuous hours of energy in grandpa's obituary.
    When I've seriously fucked up and need to make amends, what can I give my significant other to show them I am truly remorseful? My vagina.

    Elvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    And with that I believe it is time for the Cards Against Humanity thread to go on hiatus. It has been a long, terrible time between Man In the Mists, TheRoadVirus and myself. There were laughs. There were tears. A great many people were offended.

    Thank you everyone for playing! I will not promise to not inflict this terrible game on you again in the future.

    TheRoadVirusLostNinjaAnialosElvenshaeMrTLiciousLucedes
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus Trans woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Get the bagpipers warmed up! We are going out with a bang!

    TDPforum.png
    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
    Elvenshae
  • see317see317 Taco Count 2017: 61 Registered User regular
    Sharing my hand:
    The placenta.
    Finding out that Santa isn't real.
    Bowser's aching heart.
    Lady Gaga.
    RoboCop.
    Riding off into the sunset.
    Ringo Starr & His All-Starr Band.
    Fiery poops.
    Gwyneth Paltrow's opinions.
    Being marginalized.

    And two unused blanks.

    Thanks for running the game @chamberlain .

    Ringo wrote: »
    Well except what see317 said. That guy's always wrong.
    TheRoadVirus
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus Trans woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Pamela Anderson's boobs running in slow motion.
    Corn.
    An unforgettable quinceanera.
    No longer finding any Cards Against Humanity card funny.
    The black half of Barack Obama.
    Running around like a guy with his chicken cut off.
    Important news about Taylor Swift.
    3.7 billion women.
    The Hustle.
    Slowly evaporating.

    TDPforum.png
    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    Had a couple of my favorite cards in my ending hand ...

    MORTAL KOMBAT™.
    Roland the Farter, flatulist to the king.
    Skanky Smurf.
    Being knowledgeable in a narrow domain that nobody understands or cares about.
    Ham night!
    A simultaneous nightmare and wet dream starring Sigourney Weaver.
    Dancing with a broom.
    Gilbert Gottfried's voice.
    Sperm whales.
    Wink wink, nudge nudge!

    omgbfz5lzi1s.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
  • chamberlainchamberlain Registered User regular
    Gilbert Gottfried's voice is an amazing card.

    ElvenshaeTheRoadVirus
  • LostNinjaLostNinja Registered User regular
    A complete inability to understand anyone else's perspective.
    Irony.
    The harsh light of day.
    The taste of human flesh.
    Shapeshifters.
    Carbon monoxide poisoning.
    The miracle of childbirth.
    The Make-A-Wish Foundation.
    An icepick lobotomy.
    Rudolph's bright red balls.


    I had the first two practically the entire game, but never had a good chance to play them. There was always another card I thought was just slightly better.

    camo_sig2.png
    XBox Live: LostNinja05
  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    LostNinja wrote: »

    I had the first two practically the entire game, but never had a good chance to play them. There was always another card I thought was just slightly better.

    Irony.

    omgbfz5lzi1s.png
    Steam: Elvenshae // PSN: Elvenshae // WotC: Elvenshae
  • AnialosAnialos Collies are love, Collies are life! Ask me about them!Registered User regular
    The penny whistle solo from "My Heart Will Go On."
    Walking into a glass door.
    The primal, ball-slapping sex your parents are having right now.
    Justin Bieber.
    Type 2 diabetes.
    A bucket of fish heads.
    The moist, demanding chasm of his mouth.
    An Oosik, or Inuit war club made from the penis bone of a walrus.
    Putting the pussy on the chainwax.
    Seeing my village burned and my family slaughtered before my eyes.

    Hobnail wrote: »
    "Don't let bullets enter your body" is the kind of advice that just gives itself really, like "don't drink soy sauce" or "don't vote republican"
  • TheRoadVirusTheRoadVirus Trans woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent. AMA Baton Rouge, LARegistered User regular
    Good games, folks. There were some real quality rounds

    TDPforum.png
    New episodes every monday. Available everywhere and NOW WITH PATREON
    Hi Santa/Satan! -- DW Adventure seeking crew
    Video games -> PSN, NNID, and Twitch: The_Road_Virus Steam: TheRoadVirus
    Elvenshae
  • LucedesLucedes Yahaha! Registered User regular
    final hand:

    The whole goddamned thing.
    A turd.
    A floor that is literally made of lava.
    More dots!
    An actual invisible knapsack.
    Using tears as lubricant.
    The male gaze.
    Panda sex.
    Bingeing and purging.
    Moses gargling Jesus's balls while Shiva and the Buddha penetrate his divine hand holes.

    Allegiances change, Virgil. Call it betrayal if you want, I call it playing Phalla.
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