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Mods know too much about the [Conspiracy Theories] thread
Hevach
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The internet is four things: Cat videos, porn videos, cat porn videos, and conspiracy theories. This is the thread about all of the above just the last one. Just the last one.
There are billions of conspiracy theories. Just a few of them:
Flat Earth
Every pilot, astronaut, ship captain and basically all of science for the last two thousand years has been an elaborate hoax to sell expensive spherical paperweights, because when you think, "Mega rich assholes who rule the world," you think Globe Salesmen!
A couple years ago Flat Earth was kind of fun, full of trolls and bored grad students coming up with complex but workable physical models to fool the true believers, who were all probably trolls. At some point, Flat Earth became the new Yong Earth Creationism, and now all the fun is gone, replaced by willful ignorance and moral repugnance
9/11
Bush knew about 9/11 and did nothing. Bush DID 9/11. Jews did 9/11. 9/11 was a botched demolition job and the attack was a coverup. 9/11 was an elaborate display of CGI, holographic planes, and orbital directed energy weapons.
Spoiler alert: Those are all things people claim, I made none of them up. 9/11 is the mother of many modern conspiracy theories, with aspects of it splitting off into many others.
False Flags
All mass shootings, bombings, terrorist attacks, and military action using banned weapons is a hoax. Crisis Actors portray the victims and nobody actually dies. This is always immediately followed by the government taking all your guns.
Marked by harassment of victims and trespassing on scenes, Alex Jones has managed to make this the most mainstream on this list, advocated by Donald Trump Jr and actual elected officials in the wake of the Parkland shooting.
Chemtrails
Airplanes spray stuff from the sky for reasons.
What they're spraying and why changes almost every day, but believers in this one REALLY believe it, and have attacked pilots and TV meteorologists, and are behind many laser attacks on planes taking off or landing. Often closely associated with the older Morgellons Disease theory, in which sufferers believe fibers or crystals are growing out of their bodies (generally just bits of stuff from their surroundings getting stuck).
Sovereign Citizens
Everybody is born megarich, you just need to figure out how to access it. Also, laws only apply if you consent to them. And if you accidentally consent, you just need to separate your legal name from your physical self and escape all consequences.
SovCit theory works like a procedural magic system. They mash words and numbers together in hopes of finding the correct combination to unlock the secret of eternal life and inexhaustible wealth.
Aliens
Aliens!
This guy almost seems quaint now.
Reptilians
Reptilians!
Basically the same thing.
Q Anon/The Storm
All of the above and also Donald Trump is the smartest man in the universe and his entire trainwreck of an existence is an elaborate ruse to camouflage his campaign to take down the global Satanic conspiracy to molest children and extract their adrenochrome. Really.
Basically this whole theory is like watching a Voyager Q episode that isn't Death Wish while attempting autoerotic asphyxiation with a paper bag.
By request:
TimeCube
Time is a six-sided cube in four rotations, and if you don't believe this you are retarded and also homosexual and you personally nailed Jesus to the cross. Really.
The Internet Original, an incomprehensible -ism onion which somehow racked up a body count.
By Decree of Bogart of The Secret Brotherhood Of Wisdom And Also Chemtrails And Fixing Sports Matches And Cancelling Beloved TV Shows After Showing Episodes Out Of Order:
This thread is FOR: A fun look at this particular brand of internet wackiness.
What this thread is NOT FOR: Advocating your personal theory about how Swingline is a front to smuggle Jewish gold out of the Vatican.
Resources:
There's plenty of places on the internet to help decide if something is true or crazy. A few of my personal favorites:
Snopes
The original urban legend website, expanded into the ever widening world of people being wrong on the Internet. Subject of a weird ownership dispute which does not seem to have greatly impacted its track record.
International Skeptics Forum
A merger of a couple other forums including the James Ramsey Educational Foundation, source of many of the derogatory terms applied to conspiracy theorists and their activities such as "JAQing off." Conspiracy theorists who appear here can expect to be treated with the calm, measured, reasonable, respectful reception of Hillary Clinton on the Donald Trump subreddit.
Metabunk
A somewhat harshly moderated website with a more narrow focus than ISF/JREF. Metabunk explicitly addresses purported evidence, not overarching theories, with the thought being that if you kick all the legs out from under a table it ceases to be a table. Metabunk tolerates conspiracy theorists to come and argue their case and often even holds them to a lower standard than regular members to avoid claims that they silence dissent, even including two subforums where the rules are relaxed specifically to avoid outright deleting rambling gish gallops and JAQing Off sessions. Ironically, Metabunk, its non-forum sister sites Contrail Science and Morgellons Watch, and those sites' owner, former video game developer Mick West, are all major boogeymen in numerous conspiracy theory circles, while ISF/JREF are not.
Rationalwiki
Wiki for conspiracy theories and debunking, not really a place for original research but a far better place to get details of exactly what a theory claims and how it's wrong than sifting through a playlist of two hour Youtube videos consisting of nothing but memes set to music.
There are billions of conspiracy theories. Just a few of them:
Flat Earth
Every pilot, astronaut, ship captain and basically all of science for the last two thousand years has been an elaborate hoax to sell expensive spherical paperweights, because when you think, "Mega rich assholes who rule the world," you think Globe Salesmen!
A couple years ago Flat Earth was kind of fun, full of trolls and bored grad students coming up with complex but workable physical models to fool the true believers, who were all probably trolls. At some point, Flat Earth became the new Yong Earth Creationism, and now all the fun is gone, replaced by willful ignorance and moral repugnance
9/11
Bush knew about 9/11 and did nothing. Bush DID 9/11. Jews did 9/11. 9/11 was a botched demolition job and the attack was a coverup. 9/11 was an elaborate display of CGI, holographic planes, and orbital directed energy weapons.
Spoiler alert: Those are all things people claim, I made none of them up. 9/11 is the mother of many modern conspiracy theories, with aspects of it splitting off into many others.
False Flags
All mass shootings, bombings, terrorist attacks, and military action using banned weapons is a hoax. Crisis Actors portray the victims and nobody actually dies. This is always immediately followed by the government taking all your guns.
Marked by harassment of victims and trespassing on scenes, Alex Jones has managed to make this the most mainstream on this list, advocated by Donald Trump Jr and actual elected officials in the wake of the Parkland shooting.
Chemtrails
Airplanes spray stuff from the sky for reasons.
What they're spraying and why changes almost every day, but believers in this one REALLY believe it, and have attacked pilots and TV meteorologists, and are behind many laser attacks on planes taking off or landing. Often closely associated with the older Morgellons Disease theory, in which sufferers believe fibers or crystals are growing out of their bodies (generally just bits of stuff from their surroundings getting stuck).
Sovereign Citizens
Everybody is born megarich, you just need to figure out how to access it. Also, laws only apply if you consent to them. And if you accidentally consent, you just need to separate your legal name from your physical self and escape all consequences.
SovCit theory works like a procedural magic system. They mash words and numbers together in hopes of finding the correct combination to unlock the secret of eternal life and inexhaustible wealth.
Aliens
Aliens!
This guy almost seems quaint now.
Reptilians
Reptilians!
Basically the same thing.
Q Anon/The Storm
All of the above and also Donald Trump is the smartest man in the universe and his entire trainwreck of an existence is an elaborate ruse to camouflage his campaign to take down the global Satanic conspiracy to molest children and extract their adrenochrome. Really.
Basically this whole theory is like watching a Voyager Q episode that isn't Death Wish while attempting autoerotic asphyxiation with a paper bag.
By request:
TimeCube
Time is a six-sided cube in four rotations, and if you don't believe this you are retarded and also homosexual and you personally nailed Jesus to the cross. Really.
The Internet Original, an incomprehensible -ism onion which somehow racked up a body count.
By Decree of Bogart of The Secret Brotherhood Of Wisdom And Also Chemtrails And Fixing Sports Matches And Cancelling Beloved TV Shows After Showing Episodes Out Of Order:
This thread is FOR: A fun look at this particular brand of internet wackiness.
What this thread is NOT FOR: Advocating your personal theory about how Swingline is a front to smuggle Jewish gold out of the Vatican.
Resources:
There's plenty of places on the internet to help decide if something is true or crazy. A few of my personal favorites:
Snopes
The original urban legend website, expanded into the ever widening world of people being wrong on the Internet. Subject of a weird ownership dispute which does not seem to have greatly impacted its track record.
International Skeptics Forum
A merger of a couple other forums including the James Ramsey Educational Foundation, source of many of the derogatory terms applied to conspiracy theorists and their activities such as "JAQing off." Conspiracy theorists who appear here can expect to be treated with the calm, measured, reasonable, respectful reception of Hillary Clinton on the Donald Trump subreddit.
Metabunk
A somewhat harshly moderated website with a more narrow focus than ISF/JREF. Metabunk explicitly addresses purported evidence, not overarching theories, with the thought being that if you kick all the legs out from under a table it ceases to be a table. Metabunk tolerates conspiracy theorists to come and argue their case and often even holds them to a lower standard than regular members to avoid claims that they silence dissent, even including two subforums where the rules are relaxed specifically to avoid outright deleting rambling gish gallops and JAQing Off sessions. Ironically, Metabunk, its non-forum sister sites Contrail Science and Morgellons Watch, and those sites' owner, former video game developer Mick West, are all major boogeymen in numerous conspiracy theory circles, while ISF/JREF are not.
Rationalwiki
Wiki for conspiracy theories and debunking, not really a place for original research but a far better place to get details of exactly what a theory claims and how it's wrong than sifting through a playlist of two hour Youtube videos consisting of nothing but memes set to music.
Hevach on
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I even had something typed up about it. Added it back in on pure internet notability.
Yeah, he took the "I think you might need help," of most CTs and took it to, "You definitely need meds, and I'll personally take you to get them as a public service." He managed to amass just a single follower, who he eventually turned on, prompting said follower to throw himself in front of a train.
D= D= D= D=
It's communist gangster computer god but backwards, conceived of by a fundie jerk, and the racism and spite are fundamental pillars and foundation of it rather than something that takes a back-seat to machine-influence schizophrenia and the horrifying pain experienced by a mind aware of its deterioration and trying, desperately, to explain as its own explaining mechanisms are themselves deteriorating.
e: Too Weird, Didn't Understand: Time Cube is exactly the same kind of conspiracy as Communist Gangster Computer God, but the time cube guy's an asshole, rather than a lawyer trying to sue a judge he accuses of using "frankenstein-brain-radio" to make him look crazy in front of his friends and peers.
The way you know a conspiracy theory is a good one is when in the act of describing it I have zero idea if you are just doing a bit or actually trying to explain it.
Let's play Mario Kart or something...
Also new Conspiracy Thread means I gotta post da bes debunking video
Because of how the law works, when Trump said that the pizzagate-satanists are of national interest, the military were forced to begin a secret military investigation, that has been fighting occult billionaires ever since. Trump knew how to do this special move because he is a genius. And because it's a secret military investigation, they have to use secret military courts, where they get better results because there isn't any paperwork or standards of evidence.
They'll eventually make the case solid enough to reach the so far untouchable FBI-mafia led by Mueller. They have to defeat the Clinton-family in the shadows, first.
New Metal Gear games really going off the rails
Still gets news coverage every so often.
It’s not a very important country most of the time
http://steamcommunity.com/id/mortious
So now Mueller is part of the conspiracy? In the past he was always Team Trump and the witch hunt and Trump's unhinged reaction was a smokescreen and he was really arresting the satanists.
That madness seems to be still gaining steam and looking to be like legitimately important to understanding wtf is going on.
But isn't that just human moderation? That's been the fucking answer since day one dummies.
Whenever your CT sounds like a Kojima fever dream, you know you are doing something right*
I also would probably play this game.
*wrong, from a life and sanity perspective
Prove me wrong.
https://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561197970666737/
Wait, name checks out.
Carry on.
Only the first four words in the command used were necessary to parse it, so it's not that unreasonable.
Now if you want a real conspiracy, I've seen evidence that the mods are creating secret posts that are invisible to real forum members. Clearly they must be using those posts to plot against us. I'll bet they're even doing it right now, while mocking us for being unable to see the truth of what's happening right in front of us.
That's the same group that discovered someone was scrubbing "red headed Russian spy lady" wiki page, right?
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Yeah, for a bunch of believers in totalitarian top down leadership there is a lot dissension in the ranks.
WTF is a chud in this context? Cause I'm assuming it's not a humanoid creature living underground that eats people.
This is why we don't use nicknames.
The "alt-lite", as they are called by "alt-rightists". Basically, the regular republican base and media personalities that cater to them, but aren't much different from the average movement conservative and not as willing to garb themselves in trappings of failed fascist movements.
I went to lunch at work on day and to KFC where a man near the soda machine went on and on about them and how fascists were taking over and other crazy stuff.
I found out about there was a lot more shooting so far this year than I thought because of him and a lot of people crying wolf over false flag ops. Giving really insane reasons why they happened
I mean
You know what gets me with "revelations" like this? That they don't seem to be collecting evidence to show the world or anyone to recruit (having such evidence would go a long way to getting anyone rational on side). Nor is he raising an army to protect humanity through force from these supposed threats, like a tv series like V did. Instead he's...doing lectures? Living in a nice house from the money from his books?
The OP didn't do any of the examples justice, mostly on purpose. In Q's case it's really impossible to adequately put a bow on a brief synopsis because it has to expand geometrically every time Trump opens his mouth and vomits all over the idea that he's smart enough to mastermind anything like this.
Cannibalistic Humanoid Underground Dweller.
An awesome 80's movie with an equally awesome sequel
An ugly person
Dante Hicks
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Live: Kayle Solo
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I love this video and apparently he took the original down for some reason, I tried to find it a couple months ago
I actually really like this bit. Like accidentally invoking an implacable bureaucracy to fight the occult is a very Laundry Files sort of thing.