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I Really Hope the [Kids] are alright

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    I'm rolling up on almost 48 hours of little to intermittent sleep due to my 2.5-year old still not wanting to sleep. Not sure what to do. We're putting a talking activity desk in his room to see if the distraction will keep him happy until he's sleepy.

    I'm not religious, but if you are, pray for me. :D

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    We moved Ellie's bed back into her room on Sunday.

    Hey bed had been in the corner of our room for a few months, trying to get her to sleep through the night, but in her bed. It's still a toddler bed.

    She's done really well, so it was time to move her back. Sunday night she woke up a few times, but didn't want to be brought into our bed, she wanted to stay in hers. So ecco was a zombie.

    Last night she slept through until 530. And then didn't go back to sleep. But still, only one wake.

    She's still getting to sleep in our bed over the weekend, for the moment, but the deal is to sleep in her bed in her room for the whole month, and then we'll start looking at big girl beds for when she turns five and starts school.


    And speaking of which, I got the forms from daycare yesterday to fill out for when her last day will be. It's such a weird feeling. These people and teachers have been in our lives since she was one. And then suddenly, they won't be anymore.

    I'm not sure how I feel to be losing that support structure and moving into the unknown of primary school.

    But I've been rather verklempt about it.

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  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    My 4 yay old has decided he will do anything he wants to do, and that he's smarter and stronger than me. Which, I mean, some days....

    But it's exhausting trying to get him to do what he doesn't want to do. You usually have to trick him into wanting to do it. Because otherwise it's a hours long melt down.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
    Raijin Quickfoot
  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    My 4 yay old has decided he will do anything he wants to do, and that he's smarter and stronger than me. Which, I mean, some days....

    But it's exhausting trying to get him to do what he doesn't want to do. You usually have to trick him into wanting to do it. Because otherwise it's a hours long melt down.

    It’s a dark day when they learn that nothing happens after you get to 3

    mrpaku
  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    My 4 yay old has decided he will do anything he wants to do, and that he's smarter and stronger than me. Which, I mean, some days....

    But it's exhausting trying to get him to do what he doesn't want to do. You usually have to trick him into wanting to do it. Because otherwise it's a hours long melt down.

    It’s a dark day when they learn that nothing happens after you get to 3

    You gotta follow through :P

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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    kime wrote: »
    My 4 yay old has decided he will do anything he wants to do, and that he's smarter and stronger than me. Which, I mean, some days....

    But it's exhausting trying to get him to do what he doesn't want to do. You usually have to trick him into wanting to do it. Because otherwise it's a hours long melt down.

    It’s a dark day when they learn that nothing happens after you get to 3

    You gotta follow through :P

    After 3 comes an, “alright that’s it”

  • ElvenshaeElvenshae Registered User regular
    MNC Dover wrote: »
    I'm rolling up on almost 48 hours of little to intermittent sleep due to my 2.5-year old still not wanting to sleep. Not sure what to do. We're putting a talking activity desk in his room to see if the distraction will keep him happy until he's sleepy.

    I'm not religious, but if you are, pray for me. :D

    Been there, so I am. ;)

    Is he coming out of his room at night? If so, we had some limited success with basically camping on the floor outside his door. That way, as soon as he started coming out, we could turn him around before he managed to get too awake.

  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    kime wrote: »
    My 4 yay old has decided he will do anything he wants to do, and that he's smarter and stronger than me. Which, I mean, some days....

    But it's exhausting trying to get him to do what he doesn't want to do. You usually have to trick him into wanting to do it. Because otherwise it's a hours long melt down.

    It’s a dark day when they learn that nothing happens after you get to 3

    You gotta follow through :P

    And it doesn't have to be specifically devastating, just (A) something they don't want to have happen and (B) easily enforceable.

    Toby has the time-out chair, which is the high chair which at this point, brilliant as he is, he doesn't quite have the strength needed to unbuckle. And he hates having to sit down and sit still (you know, because kids). So we take a time out, he gets to be in the chair, and we talk about what he did wrong and how to avoid doing it again and being plopped right back into the seat for another friendly chat.

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  • AiouaAioua Ora Occidens Ora OptimaRegistered User regular
    I swear to christ breastfeeding is made up.

    "Just squeeze your boob into a nice pointy shape to stick into baby's mouth!" they say

    And no matter how my wife manipulates the dang things they're still basically spherical

    like... hooooow fucking how christ

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
  • CroakerBCCroakerBC TorontoRegistered User regular
    edited November 2020
    Aioua wrote: »
    I swear to christ breastfeeding is made up.

    "Just squeeze your boob into a nice pointy shape to stick into baby's mouth!" they say

    And no matter how my wife manipulates the dang things they're still basically spherical

    like... hooooow fucking how christ

    If it’s any consolation, it’s not just you. In the last five weeks, I think we’ve had a “breastfeeding is bullshit and I hate it and he hates it” discussion at least once a week.

    And it is hard. And frustrating.

    I don’t really have any advice here - we were always going to hybrid feed with formula for other reasons. But you have my sympathy, and you’re not crazy. Apparently they get the hang of it after a while...still holding out for that. I imagine it happens around when they get teeth.

    ETA: greetings fellow baby night shift human. Hope it’s going OK.

    CroakerBC on
  • Mojo_JojoMojo_Jojo We are only now beginning to understand the full power and ramifications of sexual intercourse Registered User regular
    edited November 2020
    Aioua wrote: »
    I swear to christ breastfeeding is made up.

    "Just squeeze your boob into a nice pointy shape to stick into baby's mouth!" they say

    And no matter how my wife manipulates the dang things they're still basically spherical

    like... hooooow fucking how christ

    Remember it can also be the baby being stupid. Burpette had to be stripped naked and held in a weird standing position to breastfeed for the first days. The first days at home where it took, what felt like, hours to get a latch were awful (especially when often followed by her projecting a high pressure exorcist style vomit stream).

    Tough times.

    Remember not to kill yourselves about breast feeding. Formula is fine, it's just a bit less convenient really. The review I read back before we had the second didn't find any strong evidence for long term benefits of breastfeeding (who didn't need any special coaxing and just got on with feeding by herself, probably helped by her mum having had experience of doing it).

    TL;Dr Breastfeeding is hard enough that you wonder how babies historically survived

    Mojo_Jojo on
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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    Pumping and bottle feeding is a third option too, assuming it's latching that's the issue and not supply.

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  • AiouaAioua Ora Occidens Ora OptimaRegistered User regular
    yeah we're doing combo now at least

    and have a much happier baby with chunky cheeks and putting on the oz which is definitely an improvement

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
    lonelyahavaBrodyElvenshae
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    I only ever got Ellie latched once.

    I held the baby, ecco held the boob, my mum helped to guide it all into place.

    She feed for about two minutes at most, and gagged and vomited.

    It was a nightmare. It took all three of us because I had a spinal headache and I couldn't look down. So I couldn't see what I was doing.

  • plufimplufim Dr Registered User regular
    One of our many issues with breast feeding was due to our boys both having tongue ties. That makes latching harder

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  • DisruptedCapitalistDisruptedCapitalist I swear! Registered User regular
    Breast feeding was extremely painful for my wife. It didn't help that the nurses at the hospital said, "it shouldn't be painful, you're doing it wrong!"

    Lemme tell ya what, condescension really did wonders for making my wife's post partum even worse.

    "Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    Mojo_Jojo wrote: »
    Aioua wrote: »
    I swear to christ breastfeeding is made up.

    "Just squeeze your boob into a nice pointy shape to stick into baby's mouth!" they say

    And no matter how my wife manipulates the dang things they're still basically spherical

    like... hooooow fucking how christ

    Remember it can also be the baby being stupid. Burpette had to be stripped naked and held in a weird standing position to breastfeed for the first days. The first days at home where it took, what felt like, hours to get a latch were awful (especially when often followed by her projecting a high pressure exorcist style vomit stream).

    Tough times.

    Remember not to kill yourselves about breast feeding. Formula is fine, it's just a bit less convenient really. The review I read back before we had the second didn't find any strong evidence for long term benefits of breastfeeding (who didn't need any special coaxing and just got on with feeding by herself, probably helped by her mum having had experience of doing it).

    TL;Dr Breastfeeding is hard enough that you wonder how babies historically survived

    I mean historically lots of babies didn't....

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    Breast feeding was extremely painful for my wife. It didn't help that the nurses at the hospital said, "it shouldn't be painful, you're doing it wrong!"

    Lemme tell ya what, condescension really did wonders for making my wife's post partum even worse.

    I would have had some choice words for those nurses. We went through 3 lactation specialists in the first two weeks and nothing worked. Finally, during a visit for some testing, a nurse saw my crying wife trying to latch and helped out.

    She asked my wife to show me her technique. The wife does the baby’s nose down over the nipple move she’s been taught to no success. The nurse says, “Try one more time with my help”.

    As our daughter’s mouth got over the nipple, the nurse aggressively pushed her head into the nipple. I swear time stood still for both mommy and baby as they both both realized they were latched. My wife cried even more, but this time they were tears of happiness.

    Sometimes it takes a while before it clicks. Sometimes it never does. And that’s ok. We were close to going formula full time and there was no shame or judgement from our doctors. Each one was “fed is best!” We’re happy that we got the support we needed and hate it when others get shamed for not breastfeeding.

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  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    kime wrote: »
    My 4 yay old has decided he will do anything he wants to do, and that he's smarter and stronger than me. Which, I mean, some days....

    But it's exhausting trying to get him to do what he doesn't want to do. You usually have to trick him into wanting to do it. Because otherwise it's a hours long melt down.

    It’s a dark day when they learn that nothing happens after you get to 3

    You gotta follow through :P

    And it doesn't have to be specifically devastating, just (A) something they don't want to have happen and (B) easily enforceable.

    Toby has the time-out chair, which is the high chair which at this point, brilliant as he is, he doesn't quite have the strength needed to unbuckle. And he hates having to sit down and sit still (you know, because kids). So we take a time out, he gets to be in the chair, and we talk about what he did wrong and how to avoid doing it again and being plopped right back into the seat for another friendly chat.

    The issue with my 4year old is that he is *strong* and *stubborn*. If he wants to do something he is a literal force of nature. We tried the high chair, and he managed to find a way out of it, as he is much too large for it now. He will not do time-out unless I physically hold him in place, and he will hurt himself trying to get out.
    When we are not at home, he will run wherever he wants if he gets it in his head and I have to carry him on my shoulders with him hitting me,pulling my hair, and covering my eyes trying to get down. And he is 50 pounds- I am not a strong person, and sometimes I just have to put him down and physically hold him on the sidewalk.
    I try talking to him, and giving ultimatums that I follow through with. If I say "No", I stick with the No through the melt-down. It is just so physically exhausting.
    So far, the one we are trying the hardest with is "punishing him" with having Daddy put him to bed. He is a Momma's boy, but he behaves 100x worse with me, and listens better to Dad. If he starts to get a bug in his butt about things, I first offer him bribes to get him wanting the thing I want. He wants to go into random bodega for chips, I say we have chips, and candy, and TV at home if we just go home right now. Then I mention that Daddy will have to put him to bed if he continues trying to go in the store. Then I physically carry him away from the bodega and march home. With him screaming and trying to run back and hitting me. For a half mile.

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    Kalnaur wrote: »
    kime wrote: »
    My 4 yay old has decided he will do anything he wants to do, and that he's smarter and stronger than me. Which, I mean, some days....

    But it's exhausting trying to get him to do what he doesn't want to do. You usually have to trick him into wanting to do it. Because otherwise it's a hours long melt down.

    It’s a dark day when they learn that nothing happens after you get to 3

    You gotta follow through :P

    And it doesn't have to be specifically devastating, just (A) something they don't want to have happen and (B) easily enforceable.

    Toby has the time-out chair, which is the high chair which at this point, brilliant as he is, he doesn't quite have the strength needed to unbuckle. And he hates having to sit down and sit still (you know, because kids). So we take a time out, he gets to be in the chair, and we talk about what he did wrong and how to avoid doing it again and being plopped right back into the seat for another friendly chat.

    The issue with my 4year old is that he is *strong* and *stubborn*. If he wants to do something he is a literal force of nature. We tried the high chair, and he managed to find a way out of it, as he is much too large for it now. He will not do time-out unless I physically hold him in place, and he will hurt himself trying to get out.
    When we are not at home, he will run wherever he wants if he gets it in his head and I have to carry him on my shoulders with him hitting me,pulling my hair, and covering my eyes trying to get down. And he is 50 pounds- I am not a strong person, and sometimes I just have to put him down and physically hold him on the sidewalk.
    I try talking to him, and giving ultimatums that I follow through with. If I say "No", I stick with the No through the melt-down. It is just so physically exhausting.
    So far, the one we are trying the hardest with is "punishing him" with having Daddy put him to bed. He is a Momma's boy, but he behaves 100x worse with me, and listens better to Dad. If he starts to get a bug in his butt about things, I first offer him bribes to get him wanting the thing I want. He wants to go into random bodega for chips, I say we have chips, and candy, and TV at home if we just go home right now. Then I mention that Daddy will have to put him to bed if he continues trying to go in the store. Then I physically carry him away from the bodega and march home. With him screaming and trying to run back and hitting me. For a half mile.

    To be 100% fair, I'm the stay-at-home-parent between the two of us, and so I'm "the authority". Mom is seen as "fun time" mom, so he's less inclined to always listen to her.

    For example, my wife calls him over for a diaper change and I swear he doesn't even hear. I do it (by calling his full name slowly and deliberately) and his head does this slow turn as he realizes we exist again. Then I calmly and firmly ask him to come over for a change and he toddles on over. Just in general, I'm the one he listens to if it's gonna be one of us he listens to. It can take multiple times to get the desired reaction, but I'm also annoyingly patient (unless I'm really not). So also, if I'm awake, I'm in charge of discipline unless I just cannot handle that at the moment.

    To also be fair, both he and I are on the spectrum, so there's more of a meeting of the minds between us two. And he's much more in his head than invested in starting shit, so while he is both strong and stubborn, he's not interested (as much as I can tell) in fighting us. His "oh no life has ended" drama/tantrums usually only last, like, 10-20 seconds, about as long as it takes me to note "when has this ever gotten you anything you've ever wanted in your entire life?" More or less, I have lucked out on most fronts.

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    Little King's tantrums was something we got some professional help with, not at him, but for us on how to deal with him being a lot more physical than we knew how to handle. So with a 4 year old I think it pays off prove to him you're stronger than him. I've put him in a lot of loving embraces he couldn't escape from and I have had him flip out in my lap while I held him very tightly. At some point he will try scratching and I even had to hold his hands. He fucking hates it, but I really need to get through to him that he shouldn't try to hurt me.

    Just this little ball of anger who thinks he's stronger than an adult.

  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    plufim wrote: »
    One of our many issues with breast feeding was due to our boys both having tongue ties. That makes latching harder

    I mean, Sapling was physically incapable of breast feeding, due to a small cleft palate, which we didn't find out about for the first 2 weeks or whatever. At that point it was honestly such a relief to be able to just switch to bottle full time, stop trying to make all the various breast feeding positions work. Granted, it involved a whole lot of other worries and troubles, but being able to just feed her without trying to wake my exhausted wife up every three hours or w/e was pretty freeing.

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    People keep setting off fireworks and my kid keeps wanting to see them and I'm trying to get this very tired child to sleep and can you fucking not with the lord explosives outside her room please

  • TefTef Registered User regular
    Guy fawkes sucks

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

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  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    She should have been sleep in ten minutes

    It took an hour

  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    People keep setting off fireworks and my kid keeps wanting to see them and I'm trying to get this very tired child to sleep and can you fucking not with the lord explosives outside her room please

    Its like that here whenever the local football team plays, except Sapling is terrified of the noise, and just sort of quietly cowers.

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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    REMOTE LEARNING JOY

    Me: Middle Guy, *focus*

    Middle Guy: (ignores me completely; chases the dog around the house)
    (Later) Me: Middle Guy, *focus*

    Middle Guy: (ignores me completely; proceeds to chase his baby brother, both of them screaming, around the house)
    Me: Middle Guy, *focus*

    Middle Guy: (strips his shirt off and knocks down a treasured houseplant on camera; unmutes himself to announce) "Mister (Music Teacher), my brother needs a bath!" (From nearby, Tiny Wonder *chucks* an applesauce plate at him, which breaks offscreen as both children laugh uproariously)

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  • ani_game_bumani_game_bum Optimistic, Rule-Breaking Nice Guy The Final World/DestinationRegistered User regular
    Remote teaching those Lost Boys from Neverland again, huh?

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  • MNC DoverMNC Dover Full-time Voice Actor Kirkland, WARegistered User regular
    This popped up on my Facebook memories today and it was a nice break from the election stress.

    My comment:

    "Some parents say they’ll protect their children from the evils of the world.
    While other parents DO protect their children from the evils of the world."

    72gpn3bk0vgq.jpg

    And this also popped up. My daughter hasn't changed much in 3 years:
    wm6x7hnjxjzl.jpg

    Hope these pics brought some joy to your day today. Stay safe!

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  • MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    My son has turned into the mask police. He just went up to a stranger and asked them if they wanted to get the corona virus. The random guy says no, so my son said that he should wear his corona virus mask, then. I about died. But I guess I can feel more reassured that my 4 year old is taking his mask seriously at school

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
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  • kimekime Queen of Blades Registered User regular
    Haha similar, my 3-year-old won't go up to others yet, but she'll say loudly "those people aren't wearing a mask so are being naughty!"

    Granted she's not saying it in English so no one outside the family understands her, but it's still funny :P

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  • plufimplufim Dr Registered User regular
    My eldest has very very loudly has told me near someone smoking that "they shouldn't smoke, it's very bad for them" in clear earshot of the smoker. More than once.

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  • AldoAldo Hippo Hooray Registered User regular
    I just need to yell in to a void.
    My partner's new meds have a bunch of side effects that she is currently experiencing all at once. The kid has trouble sleeping due to a vaccination. Shit is rough and I'm still afraid of my partner's anger.

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  • BrodyBrody The Watch The First ShoreRegistered User regular
    My aunt died a week ago, and its been kind of hard to help Sapling figure it out. She doesn't seem particularly sad, but she keeps forgetting. Also, today, just chilling on the couch, she turned to look at me and said "Am I going to die?" Not sad or worried at all, just sounded curious. It definitely took me a minute to find words.

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  • Raijin QuickfootRaijin Quickfoot I'm your Huckleberry YOU'RE NO DAISYRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    Brody wrote: »
    My aunt died a week ago, and its been kind of hard to help Sapling figure it out. She doesn't seem particularly sad, but she keeps forgetting. Also, today, just chilling on the couch, she turned to look at me and said "Am I going to die?" Not sad or worried at all, just sounded curious. It definitely took me a minute to find words.

    My kids have asked me that and it’s a fucking gut punch

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  • mrpakumrpaku Registered User regular
    Little Man has been binge-reading (and subsequently, binge-dreaming) my old, ancient, from-forty-years-ago back issues of X-Men. He has now completely and fully decided that me and his Momma have on-page, direct representatives in the characters of Cyclops and Jean Grey, respectively (he would apparently be our shape-shifter-wolf-child, in this particular multiverse). I've tried to talk him out of this, and he hasn't backed down one inch, and is actually convinced I wouldn't remember, because mind spells

    q8qq0dj6f8gj.png

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  • KalnaurKalnaur I See Rain . . . Centralia, WARegistered User regular
    My son has found the DisneyNOW app on our TV, and Molang. He's watched this current episode that's playing approximately 3 billion times since Friday when he figured it out. I have bouncing singing rabbits and baby chickens in my sleep.

    Send help.

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    Elvenshae
  • lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Ellie got her letter for primary school. for us to come and do interview, school tour, fill out enrolment forms, and everything.

    I am.

    I think ok!

    We'll see how I feel on Monday

    kimeplufimmrpakuKalnaurElvenshaeDevlin_Dragonus
  • AiouaAioua Ora Occidens Ora OptimaRegistered User regular
    cool cool cool todays we're getting baby cring whenever therev isn't a nipple in her mouth for four hours straight and counting

    good times

    life's a game that you're bound to lose / like using a hammer to pound in screws
    fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
    that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
    bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
    Brody
  • SharpyVIISharpyVII Registered User regular
    edited November 2020
    Aioua wrote: »
    cool cool cool todays we're getting baby cring whenever therev isn't a nipple in her mouth for four hours straight and counting

    good times

    Cluster feeds are horrible, and as a dad I know it's frustrating that there's not much you can do for your partner.

    Just make sure she's got loads of water and you're on hand to give her whatever snacks she wants.

    Edit

    Thank you to everyone for your kind words after my rant the other day. Last few days have been a bit better as he's finally started sleeping half decently again.

    SharpyVII on
    honovereAldoplufimmrpakuPeenKalnaurMNC DoverElvenshae
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