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I Really Hope the [Kids] are alright
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I'm not religious, but if you are, pray for me.
Legends of Runeterra: MNCdover #moc
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Hey bed had been in the corner of our room for a few months, trying to get her to sleep through the night, but in her bed. It's still a toddler bed.
She's done really well, so it was time to move her back. Sunday night she woke up a few times, but didn't want to be brought into our bed, she wanted to stay in hers. So ecco was a zombie.
Last night she slept through until 530. And then didn't go back to sleep. But still, only one wake.
She's still getting to sleep in our bed over the weekend, for the moment, but the deal is to sleep in her bed in her room for the whole month, and then we'll start looking at big girl beds for when she turns five and starts school.
And speaking of which, I got the forms from daycare yesterday to fill out for when her last day will be. It's such a weird feeling. These people and teachers have been in our lives since she was one. And then suddenly, they won't be anymore.
I'm not sure how I feel to be losing that support structure and moving into the unknown of primary school.
But I've been rather verklempt about it.
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But it's exhausting trying to get him to do what he doesn't want to do. You usually have to trick him into wanting to do it. Because otherwise it's a hours long melt down.
It’s a dark day when they learn that nothing happens after you get to 3
You gotta follow through :P
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After 3 comes an, “alright that’s it”
Been there, so I am.
Is he coming out of his room at night? If so, we had some limited success with basically camping on the floor outside his door. That way, as soon as he started coming out, we could turn him around before he managed to get too awake.
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Wilds of Aladrion: [https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/comment/43159014/#Comment_43159014]Ellandryn[/url]
And it doesn't have to be specifically devastating, just (A) something they don't want to have happen and (B) easily enforceable.
Toby has the time-out chair, which is the high chair which at this point, brilliant as he is, he doesn't quite have the strength needed to unbuckle. And he hates having to sit down and sit still (you know, because kids). So we take a time out, he gets to be in the chair, and we talk about what he did wrong and how to avoid doing it again and being plopped right back into the seat for another friendly chat.
"Just squeeze your boob into a nice pointy shape to stick into baby's mouth!" they say
And no matter how my wife manipulates the dang things they're still basically spherical
like... hooooow fucking how christ
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
If it’s any consolation, it’s not just you. In the last five weeks, I think we’ve had a “breastfeeding is bullshit and I hate it and he hates it” discussion at least once a week.
And it is hard. And frustrating.
I don’t really have any advice here - we were always going to hybrid feed with formula for other reasons. But you have my sympathy, and you’re not crazy. Apparently they get the hang of it after a while...still holding out for that. I imagine it happens around when they get teeth.
ETA: greetings fellow baby night shift human. Hope it’s going OK.
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Remember it can also be the baby being stupid. Burpette had to be stripped naked and held in a weird standing position to breastfeed for the first days. The first days at home where it took, what felt like, hours to get a latch were awful (especially when often followed by her projecting a high pressure exorcist style vomit stream).
Tough times.
Remember not to kill yourselves about breast feeding. Formula is fine, it's just a bit less convenient really. The review I read back before we had the second didn't find any strong evidence for long term benefits of breastfeeding (who didn't need any special coaxing and just got on with feeding by herself, probably helped by her mum having had experience of doing it).
TL;Dr Breastfeeding is hard enough that you wonder how babies historically survived
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and have a much happier baby with chunky cheeks and putting on the oz which is definitely an improvement
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
I held the baby, ecco held the boob, my mum helped to guide it all into place.
She feed for about two minutes at most, and gagged and vomited.
It was a nightmare. It took all three of us because I had a spinal headache and I couldn't look down. So I couldn't see what I was doing.
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Lemme tell ya what, condescension really did wonders for making my wife's post partum even worse.
I mean historically lots of babies didn't....
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I would have had some choice words for those nurses. We went through 3 lactation specialists in the first two weeks and nothing worked. Finally, during a visit for some testing, a nurse saw my crying wife trying to latch and helped out.
She asked my wife to show me her technique. The wife does the baby’s nose down over the nipple move she’s been taught to no success. The nurse says, “Try one more time with my help”.
As our daughter’s mouth got over the nipple, the nurse aggressively pushed her head into the nipple. I swear time stood still for both mommy and baby as they both both realized they were latched. My wife cried even more, but this time they were tears of happiness.
Sometimes it takes a while before it clicks. Sometimes it never does. And that’s ok. We were close to going formula full time and there was no shame or judgement from our doctors. Each one was “fed is best!” We’re happy that we got the support we needed and hate it when others get shamed for not breastfeeding.
Legends of Runeterra: MNCdover #moc
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The issue with my 4year old is that he is *strong* and *stubborn*. If he wants to do something he is a literal force of nature. We tried the high chair, and he managed to find a way out of it, as he is much too large for it now. He will not do time-out unless I physically hold him in place, and he will hurt himself trying to get out.
When we are not at home, he will run wherever he wants if he gets it in his head and I have to carry him on my shoulders with him hitting me,pulling my hair, and covering my eyes trying to get down. And he is 50 pounds- I am not a strong person, and sometimes I just have to put him down and physically hold him on the sidewalk.
I try talking to him, and giving ultimatums that I follow through with. If I say "No", I stick with the No through the melt-down. It is just so physically exhausting.
So far, the one we are trying the hardest with is "punishing him" with having Daddy put him to bed. He is a Momma's boy, but he behaves 100x worse with me, and listens better to Dad. If he starts to get a bug in his butt about things, I first offer him bribes to get him wanting the thing I want. He wants to go into random bodega for chips, I say we have chips, and candy, and TV at home if we just go home right now. Then I mention that Daddy will have to put him to bed if he continues trying to go in the store. Then I physically carry him away from the bodega and march home. With him screaming and trying to run back and hitting me. For a half mile.
To be 100% fair, I'm the stay-at-home-parent between the two of us, and so I'm "the authority". Mom is seen as "fun time" mom, so he's less inclined to always listen to her.
For example, my wife calls him over for a diaper change and I swear he doesn't even hear. I do it (by calling his full name slowly and deliberately) and his head does this slow turn as he realizes we exist again. Then I calmly and firmly ask him to come over for a change and he toddles on over. Just in general, I'm the one he listens to if it's gonna be one of us he listens to. It can take multiple times to get the desired reaction, but I'm also annoyingly patient (unless I'm really not). So also, if I'm awake, I'm in charge of discipline unless I just cannot handle that at the moment.
To also be fair, both he and I are on the spectrum, so there's more of a meeting of the minds between us two. And he's much more in his head than invested in starting shit, so while he is both strong and stubborn, he's not interested (as much as I can tell) in fighting us. His "oh no life has ended" drama/tantrums usually only last, like, 10-20 seconds, about as long as it takes me to note "when has this ever gotten you anything you've ever wanted in your entire life?" More or less, I have lucked out on most fronts.
Just this little ball of anger who thinks he's stronger than an adult.
I mean, Sapling was physically incapable of breast feeding, due to a small cleft palate, which we didn't find out about for the first 2 weeks or whatever. At that point it was honestly such a relief to be able to just switch to bottle full time, stop trying to make all the various breast feeding positions work. Granted, it involved a whole lot of other worries and troubles, but being able to just feed her without trying to wake my exhausted wife up every three hours or w/e was pretty freeing.
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
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Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
It took an hour
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Its like that here whenever the local football team plays, except Sapling is terrified of the noise, and just sort of quietly cowers.
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
Me: Middle Guy, *focus*
Middle Guy: (ignores me completely; chases the dog around the house)
(Later) Me: Middle Guy, *focus*
Middle Guy: (ignores me completely; proceeds to chase his baby brother, both of them screaming, around the house)
Me: Middle Guy, *focus*
Middle Guy: (strips his shirt off and knocks down a treasured houseplant on camera; unmutes himself to announce) "Mister (Music Teacher), my brother needs a bath!" (From nearby, Tiny Wonder *chucks* an applesauce plate at him, which breaks offscreen as both children laugh uproariously)
My comment:
"Some parents say they’ll protect their children from the evils of the world.
While other parents DO protect their children from the evils of the world."
And this also popped up. My daughter hasn't changed much in 3 years:
Hope these pics brought some joy to your day today. Stay safe!
Legends of Runeterra: MNCdover #moc
Switch ID: MNC Dover SW-1154-3107-1051
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Granted she's not saying it in English so no one outside the family understands her, but it's still funny :P
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The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
My kids have asked me that and it’s a fucking gut punch
Send help.
I am.
I think ok!
We'll see how I feel on Monday
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good times
fuck up once and you break your thumb / if you're happy at all then you're god damn dumb
that's right we're on a fucked up cruise / God is dead but at least we have booze
bad things happen, no one knows why / the sun burns out and everyone dies
Cluster feeds are horrible, and as a dad I know it's frustrating that there's not much you can do for your partner.
Just make sure she's got loads of water and you're on hand to give her whatever snacks she wants.
Edit
Thank you to everyone for your kind words after my rant the other day. Last few days have been a bit better as he's finally started sleeping half decently again.