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[Queer] thread: Pride is here, queer

GrogGrog My sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered User regular
edited June 4 in Social Entropy++
A thread for queers of all stripes- whether you're tired, angry, bitter or actually doing pretty good despite it all.

Got questions? Wanna kvetch? Share something good? Post it here.

If you're undecided, questioning or just generally uncertain you're welcome here.

Sterica on
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    initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    I thought the "were locking the thread because pride is over" was like a perfect joke that encapsulated corporate attitudes about pride and queer rep but then it was actually locked and I immediately turned into the Let Me In meme.

    So I guess, mission accomplished?

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    Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    Hello Grog, hello all, I hope you’re safe, well and happy today.

    Not much else to say right now. Look, the world!

    ojrrqeu78s86.jpeg


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    StericaSterica Yes Registered User, Moderator mod
    I thought the "were locking the thread because pride is over" was like a perfect joke that encapsulated corporate attitudes about pride and queer rep but then it was actually locked and I immediately turned into the Let Me In meme.

    So I guess, mission accomplished?
    It was at 96 pages, so seemed like good a time as any. I specifically asked someone to make a new thread because “thread closed til next pride” seemed like a crappy joke!

    YL9WnCY.png
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    21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    Hey i'm struggling with some genderthoughts.

    How's everyone.

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    ElldrenElldren Is a woman dammit ceterum censeoRegistered User regular
    Hey i'm struggling with some genderthoughts.

    How's everyone.

    Everyday I’m Struggling

    fuck gendered marketing
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    WotanAnubisWotanAnubis Registered User regular
    Hey i'm struggling with some genderthoughts.

    How's everyone.

    Same here, to be honest.

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    21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    edited July 2021
    Elldren wrote: »
    Hey i'm struggling with some genderthoughts.

    How's everyone.

    Everyday I’m Struggling

    I could hear the notes implied by this post.

    But yeah, I'm considering getting some hair removal cram and slathering my body in it.

    But then i remember that the nail polish, while it did make me feel good, also made me feel scared... and how i stopped wearing that.

    I even stopped braiding my hair lately.

    IDK, i feel kinda childish while experimenting with these things. I feel like if i were less masculine than i look, i'd have acted on it earlier. I'm almost 32 and it feels too late (I know it isn't, but it still feels too late)

    21stCentury on
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    initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    We just dyed my partners hair last night into the color of bisexual lighting. Gonna do mine on Friday but I don't know what I want. Maybe just full purple?

    Take that, companies changing their logos back today

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    21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    We just dyed my partners hair last night into the color of bisexual lighting. Gonna do mine on Friday but I don't know what I want. Maybe just full purple?

    Take that, companies changing their logos back today

    thats pink and bluish purple, right?

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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    Elldren wrote: »
    Hey i'm struggling with some genderthoughts.

    How's everyone.

    Everyday I’m Struggling

    I could hear the notes implied by this post.

    But yeah, I'm considering getting some hair removal cram and slathering my body in it.

    But then i remember that the nail polish, while it did make me feel good, also made me feel scared... and how i stopped wearing that.

    I even stopped braiding my hair lately.

    IDK, i feel kinda childish while experimenting with these things. I feel like if i were less masculine than i look, i'd have acted on it earlier. I'm almost 32 and it feels too late (I know it isn't, but it still feels too late)

    It's only getting later

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    initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    We just dyed my partners hair last night into the color of bisexual lighting. Gonna do mine on Friday but I don't know what I want. Maybe just full purple?

    Take that, companies changing their logos back today

    thats pink and bluish purple, right?

    Yeah it's a bright blue at the roots and bright pink at the tips. It wasn't blended super well and we did a bad job on some of the roots at first so I suggested using the purple on a second pass to hit those and it turned into a really hot gradient throughout.

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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    I posted about this in the mood thread, but last night I had a date and, uh...more with a man for the first time last night (I'm also a man). I've always been pretty aware that I wasn't strictly straight, but had never really been interested/attracted enough to a guy (I'm kinda picky regardless of gender) to really pursue it. Anyway, I've been thinking about the experience (which was fun!) and trying to decide what it actually means for me. Coincidentally, this happened to pop up on Twitter and I think it sums up about where I'm at...



    So yeah I'm not really sure how to think about myself. I'm definitely glad I went for it and I could possibly see doing something like that again in the future, but I'm still mainly attracted to women and I'm not sure I'm interested in pursuing men going forward.

    Given all that, I'm not sure this thread is for me so I'm not gonna take up space/attention, but since it just happened I kinda wanted to just verbalize it and put it out there for my own sake.

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    tzeentchlingtzeentchling Doctor of Rocks OaklandRegistered User regular
    Houk this thread is absolutely for you and anyone else who wants to talk about or work through feelings of attraction (or non-attraction/ace feelings) or simply share or reflect on things that have happened. It's great that you had a new experience, enjoyed it, and learned something about yourself. It doesn't have to mean anything more than that if you don't want it to. Just remember that there's no rush to "sort" yourself into whatever label, just you do you and find a way to be comfortable in your spectrum of feelings!

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    GrogGrog My sword is only steel in a useful shape.Registered User regular
    edited July 2021
    I posted about this in the mood thread, but last night I had a date and, uh...more with a man for the first time last night (I'm also a man). I've always been pretty aware that I wasn't strictly straight, but had never really been interested/attracted enough to a guy (I'm kinda picky regardless of gender) to really pursue it. Anyway, I've been thinking about the experience (which was fun!) and trying to decide what it actually means for me. Coincidentally, this happened to pop up on Twitter and I think it sums up about where I'm at...

    (snip)

    So yeah I'm not really sure how to think about myself. I'm definitely glad I went for it and I could possibly see doing something like that again in the future, but I'm still mainly attracted to women and I'm not sure I'm interested in pursuing men going forward.

    Given all that, I'm not sure this thread is for me so I'm not gonna take up space/attention, but since it just happened I kinda wanted to just verbalize it and put it out there for my own sake.

    I think there are legions of people in the same boat, and understanding that sexuality is a difficult thing to pin down is pretty relevant to the queer experience.

    Grog on
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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2021
    Houk this thread is absolutely for you and anyone else who wants to talk about or work through feelings of attraction (or non-attraction/ace feelings) or simply share or reflect on things that have happened. It's great that you had a new experience, enjoyed it, and learned something about yourself. It doesn't have to mean anything more than that if you don't want it to. Just remember that there's no rush to "sort" yourself into whatever label, just you do you and find a way to be comfortable in your spectrum of feelings!

    Thanks, I appreciate you saying that! To be honest, it's been a pretty common experience throughout my life that lots of people (especially gay men) have assumed I'm gay after meeting me for the first time for whatever reason (like, to the point they would straight-up tell me they didn't believe I wasn't lol). I always just figured it was due to me being generally friendly and outgoing and not really going in for traditional toxic masculinity group behavior, but apparently they were on to something!

    Houk the Namebringer on
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    GnizmoGnizmo Registered User regular
    Elldren wrote: »
    Hey i'm struggling with some genderthoughts.

    How's everyone.

    Everyday I’m Struggling

    I could hear the notes implied by this post.

    But yeah, I'm considering getting some hair removal cram and slathering my body in it.

    But then i remember that the nail polish, while it did make me feel good, also made me feel scared... and how i stopped wearing that.

    I even stopped braiding my hair lately.

    IDK, i feel kinda childish while experimenting with these things. I feel like if i were less masculine than i look, i'd have acted on it earlier. I'm almost 32 and it feels too late (I know it isn't, but it still feels too late)

    So this comes up a lot in a therapy context. Like pretty much 100% of the time honestly. It also makes all the sense in the world to me. It feels childish because it is typically something we go through during childhood and into adolescence. You try out a bunch of different looks until you figure out which one really gels with who you are at the moment. From then on it can be an easy gradual transition so you don't typically take much notice of it at all.

    The problem is as a society we view childish as meaning immature, and bad exclusively rather than a broader view. We stigmatize anything that isn't work, bran cereal, and talking about 401ks without a lot of push back. When you really look at the full range of human behavior though a lot of it really can be seen as childish. Celebrity news industry, sports industry, movies, TV shows, and plays all have their roots in filling child like aspects of ourselves that we want to celebrate.

    I think I am going very tangential so I will try to loop it back here. The end result is that not everything from your childhood is bad. In fact, holding onto it can have tremendous positive effects for mental health. Embrace that shit! Love it! Relish in the simplicity of life occasionally! It is needed as it is something you were denied growing up.

    This is an area that was never fully explored because of a fucked up society that wants to further stigmatize you for it's shitty behavior. Fuck that! It will feel silly and wonderful at times. Eventually it will feel "right" and that is a cool place to be. Anyone else can suck it, or not depending on what is the exact opposite of their preference!

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    Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    edited July 2021
    @Houk the Namebringer

    When people ask I just say I’m flirty. Because that’s it, right? Mostly I mean. I’m attracted to women and I’ve never really contemplated being with a guy, but one day I just said fuck it and now I give anyone hot a smile and a dirty comment (if it’s appropriate). It just feels natural to me, far more natural than the way I was raised by my culture—only opening up to women you wanna bang. I’d rather compliment people and spend time with them regardless of whether I intent to have sex with them. That’s like, the end goal of some very particular requirements, not how life should be approached generally.

    Intimacy is beautiful. Conversation is divine. I like listening, you know? So dates are good for that.

    @21stCentury
    I’m coming at this from a privileged position, but I do dabble in Goth culture, so when I feel inclined I whack on all black silk and satin and wander about without a care. I think some quirk in the rules make this seem like a performance rather than a, you know, me, so I get more good comments than bad.

    I think you should go all in on what you want to dress like. Braid your hair, wear nail polish, wear something outlandish—tie dye jeans, leather jacket, Japanese Hakama skirts—whatever. If anyone asks say you’re a witch punk or something.

    It can be scary out there, more so depending where you are in the world, but that’s why I also advise you to go swimming more and learn juijitsu, but err, nail polish first.

    Endless_Serpents on
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    Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    I’ll just amend never contemplated with I once went on date with a guy to a replica war ship (?) and I wouldn’t kick Cillian Murphy out of bed.

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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2021
    Yeah I've definitely been "accused" of flirting when I thought I was just making conversation and showing interest, but I guess it is something I just do. You're extremely right, (self-aware and non-creepy) flirting is a lot of fun!

    Houk the Namebringer on
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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Someone once told me "the way you move your eyebrows in conversation is extremely flirtatious" and now I am constantly hyperconscious of whether I'm doing too much Eyebrowing.

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    initiatefailureinitiatefailure Registered User regular
    When i started letting my hair grow out i was very consciously aware of and always discussing how i felt like I was missing so many years of learned knowledge. Then i started to feel like i was burdening the women in my life about it so i kinda dropped the subject and anyway here we are now and I kinda know some basics about how to care for and do up my hair.

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    TefTef Registered User regular
    a4qd7wxb182f.jpeg

    help a fellow forumer meet their mental health care needs because USA healthcare sucks!

    Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better

    bit.ly/2XQM1ke
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    UsagiUsagi Nah Registered User regular
    Be gay, do crimes :+1:

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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    tynic wrote: »
    Someone once told me "the way you move your eyebrows in conversation is extremely flirtatious" and now I am constantly hyperconscious of whether I'm doing too much Eyebrowing.

    Tynic: "Let me tell you about :winky: robots :winky: "

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    PirateQueenPirateQueen Registered User regular
    LOL

    Welcome to the bi team @Houk the Namebringer : ))

    You've reminded me today that dating is really fun, almost forgot to miss it during this pandemic X )
    I want to go to this romantic event for poly people... but my primary partner's off traveling so I'd be solo there for the first time in years...
    That would be a really dumb, risky thing to do, right?

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    JarsJars Registered User regular
    my interests fall more towards women, but doing gay stuff with a dude? it's pretty good. worth trying to see if you like it.

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    Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    edited July 2021
    LOL

    Welcome to the bi team @Houk the Namebringer : ))

    You've reminded me today that dating is really fun, almost forgot to miss it during this pandemic X )
    I want to go to this romantic event for poly people... but my primary partner's off traveling so I'd be solo there for the first time in years...
    That would be a really dumb, risky thing to do, right?

    It’s really not ideal given everything, which is a shame. I suppose you could look into whether they’re testing people at the door, to limit, but not totally remove the chances.

    From an emotional point of vies, I’d be interested to know how’s you’d feel going their alone. What was it like going there single years ago?

    Endless_Serpents on
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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    edited July 2021
    Jars wrote: »
    my interests fall more towards women, but doing gay stuff with a dude? it's pretty good. worth trying to see if you like it.

    One thing I learned last night re: making out with guys is that I am definitely not into even the smallest amount of facial hair/stubble

    that friction is no bueno

    Houk the Namebringer on
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    PirateQueenPirateQueen Registered User regular
    From an emotional point of you, I’d be interested to know how’s you’d feel going their alone. What was it like going there single years ago?
    It was really fun doing it solo before... very easy to just enjoy and meet a bunch of people.
    But, have been looking forward to going as a couple again. Less risk of anyone's feelings getting hurt that way. Sucks that this thing is finally happening when my partner is away...

    Maybe it's a bit crazy that kind of risk occurred to me before the COVID risk X )

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    Endless_SerpentsEndless_Serpents Registered User regular
    From an emotional point of you, I’d be interested to know how’s you’d feel going their alone. What was it like going there single years ago?
    It was really fun doing it solo before... very easy to just enjoy and meet a bunch of people.
    But, have been looking forward to going as a couple again. Less risk of anyone's feelings getting hurt that way. Sucks that this thing is finally happening when my partner is away...

    Maybe it's a bit crazy that kind of risk occurred to me before the COVID risk X )

    Naw it makes loads of sense. If not for my job I would have said that first, it’s just second nature for me now.

    You could call them and see how they’d feel about it. I don’t know what limits such relationships have. The mere fact you’d be less happy doing it without them suggests you’re better off not.

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    lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    So I've settled on panromantic demisexual.

    I can love Anybody and everybody, but that doesn't mean I want to fuck them. But to want to fuck someone, I really need to love them.

    My sexual interest and attraction is for my hubby. But I can totally appreciate the physical gorgeousness of others. And maybe a stray, "wonder what it would be like to kiss her" (and it's always her for some reason).


    I'm sitting at a cafe right now, in my rainbow and gold Beanie, which is flashing my pride badges.


    And I'm actually not feeling uncomfortable if anyone noticed them.

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    pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    Elldren wrote: »
    Hey i'm struggling with some genderthoughts.

    How's everyone.

    Everyday I’m Struggling

    I could hear the notes implied by this post.

    But yeah, I'm considering getting some hair removal cram and slathering my body in it.

    But then i remember that the nail polish, while it did make me feel good, also made me feel scared... and how i stopped wearing that.

    I even stopped braiding my hair lately.

    IDK, i feel kinda childish while experimenting with these things. I feel like if i were less masculine than i look, i'd have acted on it earlier. I'm almost 32 and it feels too late (I know it isn't, but it still feels too late)

    If it helps, I didn't start anything until I was 35, and didn't denude any hair until 37. So you're ahead of me.

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    WeaverWeaver Who are you? What do you want?Registered User regular
    edited July 2021
    Is Demi where you need a super strong emotional bond? Because that is 100% me.

    Weaver on
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    lonelyahavalonelyahava Call me Ahava ~~She/Her~~ Move to New ZealandRegistered User regular
    Weaver wrote: »
    Is Demi where you need a super strong emotional bond? Because that is 100% me.

    That's my understanding of it, yeah. It's under the Ace umbrella

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    21stCentury21stCentury Call me Pixel, or Pix for short! [They/Them]Registered User regular
    So I've settled on panromantic demisexual.

    I can love Anybody and everybody, but that doesn't mean I want to fuck them. But to want to fuck someone, I really need to love them.

    My sexual interest and attraction is for my hubby. But I can totally appreciate the physical gorgeousness of others. And maybe a stray, "wonder what it would be like to kiss her" (and it's always her for some reason).


    I'm sitting at a cafe right now, in my rainbow and gold Beanie, which is flashing my pride badges.


    And I'm actually not feeling uncomfortable if anyone noticed them.

    Yeah, i hear ya. I identify as panromantic asexual but sometimes i wonder if i'm not demi.

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    Houk the NamebringerHouk the Namebringer Nipples The EchidnaRegistered User regular
    I can't quite identify as demi because I don't need a super strong emotional bond, but I did decide that at this point I at least need the possibility of a serious relationship, casual sex definitely isn't my bag

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    pimentopimento she/they/pim Registered User regular
    Yea so there's also grey-ace identities including semisexual, asexual-ish and sexual-ish.. or you can be a bit demi. Semi-demi. Whatever works for you, really.

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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    If you're an eighth demi does that make you a hemi-demi-semi-demi

    (Plz ignore this horrible joke)

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    Brovid HasselsmofBrovid Hasselsmof [Growling historic on the fury road] Registered User regular
    If you only feel sexually attracted to people who have starred in The Big Lebowski and Reservoir Dogs it means you're a Buscemi-demi.

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    JarsJars Registered User regular
    personally I am only attracted to demi lovato

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