There isn’t a goth thread so I’m just gonna roll up in here to say it was cooler and very windy today, which afforded me a chance to walk through town in all black in a long fluttery coat, but it was also sunny enough that I could get away with my hexagonal sunglasses.
I got a few of the right kind of smiles from a dozen folks, but I do worry my sexiest days are over. I’ve got a wrinkle on my brow and flecks of silver in my hair.
I know that’s vain but I used to be very sexy.
Every time I see an elder goth that has held onto the style over the years I give them a single firm nod of respect
I never had the confidence to really go for the look, but I have always appreciated it, and the dedication all the more
sometimes I just don't feel like anything has gotten better, you know? like people say things are better, but it's hard to believe. there's still so many bigoted, hateful people out there that are hellbent on keeping the status quo. and even if we legislate things it won't help because deep down, it's not changing people's minds.
I think I need to go look at some celebratory pictures from when states started legalizing gay marriage
sometimes I just don't feel like anything has gotten better, you know? like people say things are better, but it's hard to believe. there's still so many bigoted, hateful people out there that are hellbent on keeping the status quo. and even if we legislate things it won't help because deep down, it's not changing people's minds.
I think I need to go look at some celebratory pictures from when states started legalizing gay marriage
I grew up with lesbian parents in the 90s, and let me tell you: it is so much better than it was. Holy fucking shit is it better.
There are still tons of hateful bigots out there who will ruin your day, but they don’t get casual, thoughtless agreement from the general public like they used to. Things were not cool even 20 years ago.
I’ve been looking at the last few posts here and trying to come up with a good comeback, a gimmick, a thing I can say to help. Ultimately all I’ve got is that we all need to keep going. It might seem like a slog, but the arseholes won’t quit when we make progress, so we can’t quit when they push back.
There are times, regularly, when I just want to rest. But they’re not. So, let’s be good people. Let’s fight, whether that’s correcting people, being kind on the daily or doing some street black ops (don’t do anything that’ll get you locked up!).
A bit ago I updated someone’s name on our local hospital’s system while they were getting vaccinated so when they get mail it’ll say the right things. Felt nice.
I’ve got two online friends who came out as non-binary recently (at least within the realms of their online personas, if not in real life) and I was lucky enough to be able to put them in touch with each other. As far as I know they haven’t stopped texting each other since.
I can still be wrong too. I’m passed thirty, so like all old people it’s best to assume I’m wrong. I called a woman I work with ‘darling’, because I call men and women and children darling, but it offended her. Which is right, because I don’t decide what is offensive. So I said sorry and now we’re mates!
Not sure what I’m getting at now, this is just a diary of events. I’m reading a book called “Punching the Air”.
Is Owl House available for streaming? And if so, where? I've been wanting to check that out.
Season one is on Disney+.
along with part of season 2; another set of episodes is due tomorrow.
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Mx. QuillI now prefer "Myr. Quill", actually...{They/Them}Registered Userregular
edited August 2021
Yeah, they just hit their Season 2 break, to be back with the other 11 episodes at a later date.
It is a truly wonderful and queer as hell show.
Mx. Quill on
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Blameless Cleric An angel made of sapphires each more flawlessly cut than the last Registered Userregular
Hmmm gay updates
I am — starting T next week !!! I switched to a new trans-stuff-specialist therapist in the spring and ! Things have kind of flown since then! I’ve never cried in therapy this much lmao also he was able to recommend a new queer-focused practice for my primary care so I went from “I have finally decided to give T a shot” to “I am making my appointment for my first T shot?!” inside of like
Eight days !!
I’m still using all pronouns (tho mostly they/them) and am really enjoying playing with wearing weird clothes combos and tons of makeup; I feel Very Genderfluid?? It’s good! I’ve also been learning a bit more about doing hair and managed to give Poppy (partner, he/him) a full cut-and-color at home the other day!!
Speaking of which, I had to defer grad school and suddenly move in w Poppy like, indefinitely; which was. A weird thing to do at like 5 months of dating, but has gone EXTREMELY well? Right now we have his whole house to ourselves (tho my best friend is moving in w us as of this weekend bc her place has a mold infestation) so we’ve just been like. INTENSIVELY redecorating, esp since I got laid off. I painted a room and converted it into a sort of craft room/studio, I’ve been repainting some of my furniture to all match and be watermelon themed, I learned how to wire a light switch! I baked a chocolate Angel food cake from scratch (it was Poppy’s 30th on Friday)! I am working on two comics slated for online publications! So things are like, changing extremely rapidly but mostly in a good way
Gender feelings are very complicated for me all the time but my friends and family and Poppy have all been really supportive and willing to switch things up as needed!
I am — starting T next week !!! I switched to a new trans-stuff-specialist therapist in the spring and ! Things have kind of flown since then! I’ve never cried in therapy this much lmao also he was able to recommend a new queer-focused practice for my primary care so I went from “I have finally decided to give T a shot” to “I am making my appointment for my first T shot?!” inside of like
Eight days !!
I’m still using all pronouns (tho mostly they/them) and am really enjoying playing with wearing weird clothes combos and tons of makeup; I feel Very Genderfluid?? It’s good! I’ve also been learning a bit more about doing hair and managed to give Poppy (partner, he/him) a full cut-and-color at home the other day!!
Speaking of which, I had to defer grad school and suddenly move in w Poppy like, indefinitely; which was. A weird thing to do at like 5 months of dating, but has gone EXTREMELY well? Right now we have his whole house to ourselves (tho my best friend is moving in w us as of this weekend bc her place has a mold infestation) so we’ve just been like. INTENSIVELY redecorating, esp since I got laid off. I painted a room and converted it into a sort of craft room/studio, I’ve been repainting some of my furniture to all match and be watermelon themed, I learned how to wire a light switch! I baked a chocolate Angel food cake from scratch (it was Poppy’s 30th on Friday)! I am working on two comics slated for online publications! So things are like, changing extremely rapidly but mostly in a good way
Gender feelings are very complicated for me all the time but my friends and family and Poppy have all been really supportive and willing to switch things up as needed!
I'm glad you're finding yourself through all this, Bleric. Happy to see you're doing well.
I'm watching a 13 year old anime i watched 6 episodes of when it came out. I'm watching it because i heard one of the major characters is nonbinary.
The character shows up in ep 7... I know it's not use to look back and say "what if" but what if i had been exposed to nonbinary characters 13 years ago? Would i be in a different spot today? like maybe openly and visibly presenting as NB?
I got reintroduced to Camille Paglia last night and while re-acquainting myself with her work I learned that she identifies as transgender while seeming TERF-adjacent.
Am I missing something? I'm definitely doing the Jackie Chan meme face.
Switch Friend Code: SW-6732-9515-9697
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21stCenturyCall me Pixel, or Pix for short![They/Them]Registered Userregular
I got reintroduced to Camille Paglia last night and while re-acquainting myself with her work I learned that she identifies as transgender while seeming TERF-adjacent.
Am I missing something? I'm definitely doing the Jackie Chan meme face.
i don't know who that is but there are quite a few trans people whose stance on trans rights can be described as "fuck you, got mine" or have very problematic views about passing.
My impression is that she uses transgender in the sense of "cross-dressing, gender-non-conforming" when referring to herself
Unfortunately a lot of times people will claim to be X to disrupt the discourse or shift definitions
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UnbrokenEvaHIGH ON THE WIREBUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered Userregular
Hey so, exciting day yesterday. Had my first appointment with a psychologist to discuss gender stuff and get a letter of readiness to start HRT. I was nervous going in, I knew rationally that the gender clinic wouldn’t recommend someone who sucked but I still had some concerns that my uncertainty about whether I was trans/genderfluid/bigender would be a problem for her, that she’d feel I wasn’t “trans enough”, etc
...and then she basically started the session with “all the gatekeeping trans people have faced and continue to face is bullshit and I will do none of it, my job is to make sure you have all the information you need and that there’s nothing that would interfere with your ability to give informed consent, and if there is to help you address that” She was completely understanding and on board with the fact that I’m still figuring things out, fully supportive of the idea of just trying HRT and seeing if it makes me feel the way I hope it will. Also when I mentioned that my work health insurance actually will cover (or partially cover) some gender affirming care (including laser hair removal) but they need an official diagnosis of gender dysphoria, she said she'd take care of that even though that sort of requirement is outdated and shouldn't be necessary.
Just an excellent experience all around, I have another session with her in two weeks that I'm really looking forward to because of the other thing that happened today (that she helped me decide to do also)
see, when I booked the appointment for yesterday it was purely "when is the next available appointment with one of the psychologists that was recommended", with no thought given to what else might be going on that week/day. So when I saw that I would be having my first appointment the same day that the local Pride group was having a Trans & NB hangout for Pride Week, well that seemed absurdly coincidental. I was really unsure about going, I feel like I still look very cis and worried I'd feel out of place. @21stCentury gave me some really good advice with regards to nail polish being a good, kinda subtle way to adjust my gender presentation a bit. I talked with the psychologist about it, and ultimately decided to go and I'm glad I did. The event itself wasn't the important part. I didn't know anyone there, there wasn't really anyone my age and I was far too anxious to walk up to strangers and introduce myself, but at least it was regular social anxiety and not a feeling like I didn't belong. But more importantly, I put on nail polish (and a bit of concealer to try and reduce beard shadow and mascara because dammit I have nice eyelashes) and went out in public. I pushed my comfort zone a little, and it was okay!
Nails:
Also I picked up a guide for the events for the remainder of Pride Week and there's a dog walk at the park near me on Sunday and I'm absolutely going to that.
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UnbrokenEvaHIGH ON THE WIREBUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered Userregular
There's one other less fun update to my situation, spoiled for medical/eye stuff
So, I have a fairly rare eye condition called Keratoconus where my cornea kept getting thinner and losing shape, requiring special rigid contact lenses to correct my vision. It's something that will sometimes stop progressing on its own, and while that was the case with one eye, the other was still getting worse so I had a procedure last spring right before lockdowns started to basically reinforce my cornea. It was successful, and as of a followup appointment
last September, both eyes were stable.
except...
Now, this isn't conclusive. KC is rare enough that I've been able to find 0 examples of studies on trans-HRT with regards to it, all the data at this point is from HRT during pregnancy or post-menopause. There's also been a bit of conflicting data suggesting in some cases it might help as well, it seems like it might be a matter of hormone balance rather than just "added estrogen = bad" because KC is also more common in AMAB individuals.
So I'm not assuming the worst until I can talk to my eye specialist about it, but getting to ask them has been tricky as the clinic is by referral only. I think I'm due for a 1-year follow-up on my crosslinking procedure, in which case I can ask him then, otherwise I'm going to see if the gender clinic can refer me. It's possible the risk is minimal, especially if I go with a low dose to start? It's also possible that the crosslinking procedure is enough to prevent this issue, in which case I could potentially get it done on my other eye, andthen start HRT?
but it's also possible that I just can't risk it at all. I'm not giving up my vision for anything, I've put up with my current body for this long, I can handle that if necessary. If that's the case though, I am going to get an incredible amount of laser hair removal instead.
tl;dr or version for people who don't want to read about medical stuff: I have a fairly rare health condition that may make it unsafe for me to take HRT, waiting to talk to a specialist to confirm. If that's the case, I'll be disappointed, but I think I'll be okay.
Just a quick PSA, but if you are looking at places for transition-related surgery, a heads up that John Hopkins lost their surgeon this summer. I strongly recommend looking elsewhere, as it’s been like three months without any updates so as a new patient you’d probably be looking at an even longer wait.
I think I am out of the woods on the complications. Swelling is gone and I feel much better.
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
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RobonunIt's all fun and games until someone pisses off ChinaRegistered Userregular
Hey all. It's been a hot minute since I've been on the forums. At the ripe old age of 50ish I've come to the conclusion that I'm not a woman, and probably not a guy either. I'm nonbinary, grey-ace, and all of that is okay. I'm not broken, I didn't miss an episode of How To Woman, I'm just being me. And recognizing all that is so freeing.
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UnbrokenEvaHIGH ON THE WIREBUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered Userregular
Hell yeah, welcome to the “no time like the present” gender realization club
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
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Mx. QuillI now prefer "Myr. Quill", actually...{They/Them}Registered Userregular
Just spent two and a half days in the heart of Trump county PA listening to my parents misgender me and make up bullshit excuses like "it's like a second language" when called out on it.
Tomorrow marks 9 months since I came out as trans NB and began HRT.
Just spent two and a half days in the heart of Trump county PA listening to my parents misgender me and make up bullshit excuses like "it's like a second language" when called out on it.
Tomorrow marks 9 months since I came out as trans NB and began HRT.
I need a fuckin vacation from that "vacation."
Solidarity fist bump. Pittsburgh isnt much better but at least its somewhat saner than deep PA
King Riptor on
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
Just spent two and a half days in the heart of Trump county PA listening to my parents misgender me and make up bullshit excuses like "it's like a second language" when called out on it.
Tomorrow marks 9 months since I came out as trans NB and began HRT.
I need a fuckin vacation from that "vacation."
Solidarity fist bump. Pittsburgh isnt much better but at least its somewhat saner than deep PA
I have been extraordinarily lucky with my time in Pittsburgh, regarding gender topics in my various bubbles. I like "deep PA" as a way to refer to those areas, I'll probably start using that.
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jaziekBad at everythingAnd mad about it.Registered Userregular
I'm turning 30 next week.
Not feeling fantastic about it, to be quite honest.
I feel like I've basically missed my chance to be a queer person, having only come out last year. The wider trans diaspora seems to be skewed so much younger, and in many cases is overtly ageist to a shocking degree, that it's hard not for me to feel like I might as well just kinda resign myself to a life of solitude. I don't fit in with cis people, and I don't fit in with people "like me" either
I'm turning 30 next week.
Not feeling fantastic about it, to be quite honest.
I feel like I've basically missed my chance to be a queer person, having only come out last year. The wider trans diaspora seems to be skewed so much younger, and in many cases is overtly ageist to a shocking degree, that it's hard not for me to feel like I might as well just kinda resign myself to a life of solitude. I don't fit in with cis people, and I don't fit in with people "like me" either
I relate to this feeling in a big way, as I started coming out to people at 31. It's a bit rough to reckon with, since obviously we can't turn back the clock and start over. Something that helps me is to keep in mind that there actually are plenty of queer people who find themselves later in their 20s, their 30s, and beyond that. Never too late to be your most authentic self, and it's okay to have taken time to do that.
Posts
Every time I see an elder goth that has held onto the style over the years I give them a single firm nod of respect
I never had the confidence to really go for the look, but I have always appreciated it, and the dedication all the more
Elder goth.
sometimes I just don't feel like anything has gotten better, you know? like people say things are better, but it's hard to believe. there's still so many bigoted, hateful people out there that are hellbent on keeping the status quo. and even if we legislate things it won't help because deep down, it's not changing people's minds.
I think I need to go look at some celebratory pictures from when states started legalizing gay marriage
I grew up with lesbian parents in the 90s, and let me tell you: it is so much better than it was. Holy fucking shit is it better.
There are still tons of hateful bigots out there who will ruin your day, but they don’t get casual, thoughtless agreement from the general public like they used to. Things were not cool even 20 years ago.
A gay couple walking down the street holding hands like thirty years ago was risky, and a trans person being out in public was just unthinkable.
On the other, it was legal to fire someone for being queer up until last freaking year, so yeah.
There are times, regularly, when I just want to rest. But they’re not. So, let’s be good people. Let’s fight, whether that’s correcting people, being kind on the daily or doing some street black ops (don’t do anything that’ll get you locked up!).
A bit ago I updated someone’s name on our local hospital’s system while they were getting vaccinated so when they get mail it’ll say the right things. Felt nice.
I’ve got two online friends who came out as non-binary recently (at least within the realms of their online personas, if not in real life) and I was lucky enough to be able to put them in touch with each other. As far as I know they haven’t stopped texting each other since.
I can still be wrong too. I’m passed thirty, so like all old people it’s best to assume I’m wrong. I called a woman I work with ‘darling’, because I call men and women and children darling, but it offended her. Which is right, because I don’t decide what is offensive. So I said sorry and now we’re mates!
Not sure what I’m getting at now, this is just a diary of events. I’m reading a book called “Punching the Air”.
Here is song I like:
[Shungudzo - It's a good day (to fight the system)]
Mae Whitman, voice of Katara in ATLA and Amity in TOH, just came out as pansexual!
Season one is on Disney+.
along with part of season 2; another set of episodes is due tomorrow.
It is a truly wonderful and queer as hell show.
I am — starting T next week !!! I switched to a new trans-stuff-specialist therapist in the spring and ! Things have kind of flown since then! I’ve never cried in therapy this much lmao also he was able to recommend a new queer-focused practice for my primary care so I went from “I have finally decided to give T a shot” to “I am making my appointment for my first T shot?!” inside of like
Eight days !!
I’m still using all pronouns (tho mostly they/them) and am really enjoying playing with wearing weird clothes combos and tons of makeup; I feel Very Genderfluid?? It’s good! I’ve also been learning a bit more about doing hair and managed to give Poppy (partner, he/him) a full cut-and-color at home the other day!!
Speaking of which, I had to defer grad school and suddenly move in w Poppy like, indefinitely; which was. A weird thing to do at like 5 months of dating, but has gone EXTREMELY well? Right now we have his whole house to ourselves (tho my best friend is moving in w us as of this weekend bc her place has a mold infestation) so we’ve just been like. INTENSIVELY redecorating, esp since I got laid off. I painted a room and converted it into a sort of craft room/studio, I’ve been repainting some of my furniture to all match and be watermelon themed, I learned how to wire a light switch! I baked a chocolate Angel food cake from scratch (it was Poppy’s 30th on Friday)! I am working on two comics slated for online publications! So things are like, changing extremely rapidly but mostly in a good way
Gender feelings are very complicated for me all the time but my friends and family and Poppy have all been really supportive and willing to switch things up as needed!
I'd love it if you took a look at my art and my PATREON!
[Thread]
I'm glad you're finding yourself through all this, Bleric. Happy to see you're doing well.
I'm watching a 13 year old anime i watched 6 episodes of when it came out. I'm watching it because i heard one of the major characters is nonbinary.
The character shows up in ep 7... I know it's not use to look back and say "what if" but what if i had been exposed to nonbinary characters 13 years ago? Would i be in a different spot today? like maybe openly and visibly presenting as NB?
I'll never know but it's vaguely frustrating.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
Am I missing something? I'm definitely doing the Jackie Chan meme face.
i don't know who that is but there are quite a few trans people whose stance on trans rights can be described as "fuck you, got mine" or have very problematic views about passing.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
Unfortunately a lot of times people will claim to be X to disrupt the discourse or shift definitions
...and then she basically started the session with “all the gatekeeping trans people have faced and continue to face is bullshit and I will do none of it, my job is to make sure you have all the information you need and that there’s nothing that would interfere with your ability to give informed consent, and if there is to help you address that” She was completely understanding and on board with the fact that I’m still figuring things out, fully supportive of the idea of just trying HRT and seeing if it makes me feel the way I hope it will. Also when I mentioned that my work health insurance actually will cover (or partially cover) some gender affirming care (including laser hair removal) but they need an official diagnosis of gender dysphoria, she said she'd take care of that even though that sort of requirement is outdated and shouldn't be necessary.
Just an excellent experience all around, I have another session with her in two weeks that I'm really looking forward to because of the other thing that happened today (that she helped me decide to do also)
see, when I booked the appointment for yesterday it was purely "when is the next available appointment with one of the psychologists that was recommended", with no thought given to what else might be going on that week/day. So when I saw that I would be having my first appointment the same day that the local Pride group was having a Trans & NB hangout for Pride Week, well that seemed absurdly coincidental. I was really unsure about going, I feel like I still look very cis and worried I'd feel out of place. @21stCentury gave me some really good advice with regards to nail polish being a good, kinda subtle way to adjust my gender presentation a bit. I talked with the psychologist about it, and ultimately decided to go and I'm glad I did. The event itself wasn't the important part. I didn't know anyone there, there wasn't really anyone my age and I was far too anxious to walk up to strangers and introduce myself, but at least it was regular social anxiety and not a feeling like I didn't belong. But more importantly, I put on nail polish (and a bit of concealer to try and reduce beard shadow and mascara because dammit I have nice eyelashes) and went out in public. I pushed my comfort zone a little, and it was okay!
Nails:
Also I picked up a guide for the events for the remainder of Pride Week and there's a dog walk at the park near me on Sunday and I'm absolutely going to that.
last September, both eyes were stable.
except...
Now, this isn't conclusive. KC is rare enough that I've been able to find 0 examples of studies on trans-HRT with regards to it, all the data at this point is from HRT during pregnancy or post-menopause. There's also been a bit of conflicting data suggesting in some cases it might help as well, it seems like it might be a matter of hormone balance rather than just "added estrogen = bad" because KC is also more common in AMAB individuals.
So I'm not assuming the worst until I can talk to my eye specialist about it, but getting to ask them has been tricky as the clinic is by referral only. I think I'm due for a 1-year follow-up on my crosslinking procedure, in which case I can ask him then, otherwise I'm going to see if the gender clinic can refer me. It's possible the risk is minimal, especially if I go with a low dose to start? It's also possible that the crosslinking procedure is enough to prevent this issue, in which case I could potentially get it done on my other eye, andthen start HRT?
but it's also possible that I just can't risk it at all. I'm not giving up my vision for anything, I've put up with my current body for this long, I can handle that if necessary. If that's the case though, I am going to get an incredible amount of laser hair removal instead.
tl;dr or version for people who don't want to read about medical stuff: I have a fairly rare health condition that may make it unsafe for me to take HRT, waiting to talk to a specialist to confirm. If that's the case, I'll be disappointed, but I think I'll be okay.
I've been in the hospital and am just sitting here hoping this turns out ok.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
Tomorrow marks 9 months since I came out as trans NB and began HRT.
I need a fuckin vacation from that "vacation."
Solidarity fist bump. Pittsburgh isnt much better but at least its somewhat saner than deep PA
it sucked
Its far to close for my comfort. I like where I live but I hate that every so often I see the real gross stuff encroaching
I made a ton of beef stew and got my estradiol bumped up from 3mg a day to 4 to make myself feel better.
Beef and boobs for me.
Not feeling fantastic about it, to be quite honest.
I feel like I've basically missed my chance to be a queer person, having only come out last year. The wider trans diaspora seems to be skewed so much younger, and in many cases is overtly ageist to a shocking degree, that it's hard not for me to feel like I might as well just kinda resign myself to a life of solitude. I don't fit in with cis people, and I don't fit in with people "like me" either
I relate to this feeling in a big way, as I started coming out to people at 31. It's a bit rough to reckon with, since obviously we can't turn back the clock and start over. Something that helps me is to keep in mind that there actually are plenty of queer people who find themselves later in their 20s, their 30s, and beyond that. Never too late to be your most authentic self, and it's okay to have taken time to do that.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby