I am in a lot of pain as the brow ridge reduction was a type 3.
I am very happy with the results so far even with all the swelling.
Seidkona on
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
+22
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Today I bought my first ever suit. I have wanted a suit for years, it was one of the things I looked forward to before transitioning. Then I transitioned but had zero need for a suit and didn't have the money to just buy one for fun. I still don't really have the money, but I do have a funeral to go to this week, so I went and bought a Very Reasonably Priced (ie cheap) suit.
It doesn't fit me super well, and I'm not even really sure how it's supposed to fit. All I can really hope is that I don't look like a 12 year old dressing up in his dad's clothes.
Feels kind of weird to be glad about going to a funeral because it finally gave me this excuse. Also some sad irony in that my gran probably would have got the most entertainment from seeing me suited up, so it sucks that she won't see it.
Today I bought my first ever suit. I have wanted a suit for years, it was one of the things I looked forward to before transitioning. Then I transitioned but had zero need for a suit and didn't have the money to just buy one for fun. I still don't really have the money, but I do have a funeral to go to this week, so I went and bought a Very Reasonably Priced (ie cheap) suit.
It doesn't fit me super well, and I'm not even really sure how it's supposed to fit. All I can really hope is that I don't look like a 12 year old dressing up in his dad's clothes.
Feels kind of weird to be glad about going to a funeral because it finally gave me this excuse. Also some sad irony in that my gran probably would have got the most entertainment from seeing me suited up, so it sucks that she won't see it.
I'm sure you already know this, but in case there's anyone out there wondering about suits, two fundamental things
1) Get it tailored. Especially if you don't know how it's supposed to fit, they absolutely do and will make you look and feel 100x better in it. (Even if you don't have the body type that would normally be "suited" for suits, heh, most tailors have seen every shape and size come through and will know what to do).
2) Get a vest to go with it. You don't need to wear the vest all the time, but a three-piece suit always looks good, and if you don't want to wear the jacket but want a little extra pizazz, a nice-fitting vest is the perfect choice. Bonus points for vest + rolled up sleeves. (Also this isn't for you specifically, but for any larger suit-wearers out there, vests are also fantastic for slimming you down and hiding some of that bulk - take it from an expert.)
Edit: Assuming it's a black suit, if you (or whoever) do decide to get a vest I'd suggest going with something other than black. Black vest-black pants is fine, but there are a lot of other color combos that can spice things up a lot more.
Houk the Namebringer on
+3
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
edited July 2021
I would get this tailored but I need to wear it Thursday and I don't have time before then. Also I'm pretty broke now. Unplanned suit purchase plus unplanned van repair in the same week has been a kicker.
oh yeah no, considering the reason it's not a right-now thing at all. just if you ever get the chance later on, it's definitely worth it to craft a suit that really feels like it's yours, in my experience. and it's all relative obviously, but getting like, one jacket and one pair of pants tailored (usually) isn't nearly as expensive as most people think. and tailors are usually pretty used to working with folks who don't do that stuff often, and are usually pretty willing to walk down their prices for non-demanding assholes. I also learned first-hand that they're usually completely unjudgmental when it comes to "reasonably priced" suits, which has been great for me. If anything, a cheap but well tailored suit can look just as good as any overpriced suit you could pull off the rack. I was amazed at what a local tailor was able to do with my $40 jacket and $20 pants, still one of the best suits I own.
also every tailor I've ever gone to (not that many but like 4-5 at least) has found a way to make me feel good about my very chunky body. there's some kind of weird special magic there.
(Again, sorry if you know all this already. I've just had lots of friends that have wanted to get nice suits but felt too intimidated, so I like to share my experiences whenever I can.)
Houk the Namebringer on
+3
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Blackhawk1313Demon Hunter for HireTime RiftRegistered Userregular
Hi thread, stuck on an island TDY, firmly agender and demi at this point, keep being lovely amazing beings.
Mx. QuillI now prefer "Myr. Quill", actually...{They/Them}Registered Userregular
It was pretty touch-and-go for a bit, but my employer now knows about me being nonbinary.
Now I gotta figure out how to best approach my two mid-50s abrasive coworkers about it, along with the like 2000 other people who work for the company we handle the mail for.
I'm struggling a bit. I've now completed what turned out to be a very long evaluation for ASD, but have not received the results yet. They made it pretty clear I'm right on the line, which matches my expectation, but that doesn't make the wait any easier.
On the queer side, I feel like I'm in limbo. I mentioned my gender identity issues during the evaluation, but my psych health provider doesn't handle trans issues and couldn't give me much information on the subject. I was eventually referred to a clinic, but it took me weeks to build up the courage to call, and when I finally did it turned out to be impossible to get in contact with them. Even if I did, I'm not sure what I would say or ask.
There is a self-referral form I can send them, but I'm too scared to fill it out. I feel like they expect me to know exactly what I am and what I want, but I don't have that clarity, just a bunch of jumbled feelings. What if I fill out the form completely honestly and get rejected? What if I fill it out with what I think they want to hear and then get the wrong kind of help?
I know I'm probably being too dramatic and pessimistic, but it's a big and scary step to take.
I also may have just accidentally outed myself to a colleague. I work from home most days, which means I can slip into women's clothing whenever I'm not in a video meeting. Yesterday the inevitable happened; I answered a video call without remembering to change first. My response was of course to panic and try to duck out from the camera while I frantically closed the call, then call him back once I'd changed.
I honestly think I might have gotten away with it, it's very possible that he was focused on his second screen when I answered the call and the top I was wearing wasn't that obviously femme. He didn't seem shocked or confused and accepted my excuse that I wasn't properly dressed when I first answered, which hopefully means he didn't notice or doesn't mind if he did. Still quite scary though!
0
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Mx. QuillI now prefer "Myr. Quill", actually...{They/Them}Registered Userregular
So my coming out at work has gone about as I expected:
The people I see and help everyday are understanding and supportive, my boss and team lead don't care since they haven't liked me from the start, and our couriers have made no effort to learn.
But I can change my preferred name on the company level so everyone sees it, which should hopefully help spread the word and, ideally, improve things.
So, not terrible, but room for improvement.
+10
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
So my sleeves are too long, and my hips are too big, and my brother had to tie my tie for me, but it felt good to be in a suit today.
My great aunt, who I haven't seen in like 15 years, asked 3 times who I was and I think in the end still wasn't sure.
I think my brother and I heard "You two look like the blues brothers" at least a dozen times. (My family obviously do not know the blues brothers very well, but it was amusing to hear).
+67
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webguy20I spend too much time on the InternetRegistered Userregular
So my sleeves are too long, and my hips are too big, and my brother had to tie my tie for me, but it felt good to be in a suit today.
My great aunt, who I haven't seen in like 15 years, asked 3 times who I was and I think in the end still wasn't sure.
I think my brother and I heard "You two look like the blues brothers" at least a dozen times. (My family obviously do not know the blues brothers very well, but it was amusing to hear).
Oh yea, get a good set of shades and a black fedora hat? I could totally see it. You're rocking that suite BTW, especially with it not being tailored.
the sleeves aren't even too bad! If i remember right they usually tailor them just a little bit past the wrist. as long as the shoulders are close everything else is easy!
I'm struggling a bit. I've now completed what turned out to be a very long evaluation for ASD, but have not received the results yet. They made it pretty clear I'm right on the line, which matches my expectation, but that doesn't make the wait any easier.
On the queer side, I feel like I'm in limbo. I mentioned my gender identity issues during the evaluation, but my psych health provider doesn't handle trans issues and couldn't give me much information on the subject. I was eventually referred to a clinic, but it took me weeks to build up the courage to call, and when I finally did it turned out to be impossible to get in contact with them. Even if I did, I'm not sure what I would say or ask.
There is a self-referral form I can send them, but I'm too scared to fill it out. I feel like they expect me to know exactly what I am and what I want, but I don't have that clarity, just a bunch of jumbled feelings. What if I fill out the form completely honestly and get rejected? What if I fill it out with what I think they want to hear and then get the wrong kind of help?
I know I'm probably being too dramatic and pessimistic, but it's a big and scary step to take.
I also may have just accidentally outed myself to a colleague. I work from home most days, which means I can slip into women's clothing whenever I'm not in a video meeting. Yesterday the inevitable happened; I answered a video call without remembering to change first. My response was of course to panic and try to duck out from the camera while I frantically closed the call, then call him back once I'd changed.
I honestly think I might have gotten away with it, it's very possible that he was focused on his second screen when I answered the call and the top I was wearing wasn't that obviously femme. He didn't seem shocked or confused and accepted my excuse that I wasn't properly dressed when I first answered, which hopefully means he didn't notice or doesn't mind if he did. Still quite scary though!
I am of no help in terms of knowing how to navigate the health care here but it would seem pretty silly to expect you to know exactly what you are and want in order to get help and advice to figure out what you are and want
+7
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tzeentchlingDoctor of RocksOaklandRegistered Userregular
I'm struggling a bit. I've now completed what turned out to be a very long evaluation for ASD, but have not received the results yet. They made it pretty clear I'm right on the line, which matches my expectation, but that doesn't make the wait any easier.
On the queer side, I feel like I'm in limbo. I mentioned my gender identity issues during the evaluation, but my psych health provider doesn't handle trans issues and couldn't give me much information on the subject. I was eventually referred to a clinic, but it took me weeks to build up the courage to call, and when I finally did it turned out to be impossible to get in contact with them. Even if I did, I'm not sure what I would say or ask.
There is a self-referral form I can send them, but I'm too scared to fill it out. I feel like they expect me to know exactly what I am and what I want, but I don't have that clarity, just a bunch of jumbled feelings. What if I fill out the form completely honestly and get rejected? What if I fill it out with what I think they want to hear and then get the wrong kind of help?
I know I'm probably being too dramatic and pessimistic, but it's a big and scary step to take.
I also may have just accidentally outed myself to a colleague. I work from home most days, which means I can slip into women's clothing whenever I'm not in a video meeting. Yesterday the inevitable happened; I answered a video call without remembering to change first. My response was of course to panic and try to duck out from the camera while I frantically closed the call, then call him back once I'd changed.
I honestly think I might have gotten away with it, it's very possible that he was focused on his second screen when I answered the call and the top I was wearing wasn't that obviously femme. He didn't seem shocked or confused and accepted my excuse that I wasn't properly dressed when I first answered, which hopefully means he didn't notice or doesn't mind if he did. Still quite scary though!
I am of no help in terms of knowing how to navigate the health care here but it would seem pretty silly to expect you to know exactly what you are and want in order to get help and advice to figure out what you are and want
I am also of little specific help, but I will point out one thing. There's a lot of fears you're listing, especially in filling out the self-referral form. I think they are a bit reasonable, but at the same time, what if you fill it out and then you do get help? What if you put down the jumbled feelings you have, and the person they forward it to understands where you're coming from and can help you work through everything? What if good things happen?
The alternative is to do nothing and then nothing changes and you still feel terrible and uncomfortable. If you're not ready to deal with everything that's understandable, but at the same time things won't magically improve either if you don't do anything. Sometimes taking that risk to open up can be worth it. And worst case they do reject it, and you have find a different clinic or health care provider and try again. That would suck, but at least it's a kind of progress.
So my sleeves are too long, and my hips are too big, and my brother had to tie my tie for me, but it felt good to be in a suit today.
My great aunt, who I haven't seen in like 15 years, asked 3 times who I was and I think in the end still wasn't sure.
I think my brother and I heard "You two look like the blues brothers" at least a dozen times. (My family obviously do not know the blues brothers very well, but it was amusing to hear).
that suit will not need much tailoring at all, and those shoes are awesome
+1
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
I haven't really progressed past the like half tuck pony but honestly I'm just impressed I made it this far after my disastrous first year with long hair
I’m very glad my boss stopped making me tie my hair back after I had a haircut and let it grow back. Previously I had to tie it back exclusively despite several people having long hair because (as far as they knew) I was male. Which was bullshit in and of itself.
Now I just wish my hair would grow even longer, but think it’s kind of reached it’s limit.
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
edited August 2021
Got my hair up and did some eye shadow and I'm cute as hell.
Weaver on
+27
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Mx. QuillI now prefer "Myr. Quill", actually...{They/Them}Registered Userregular
So not only am I heavily considering dyeing my hair a dark purple some time after I've moved in February (since my current job would definitely not allow it), I'm also looking at a tattoo consultation in October to get Luz's light glyph on my left shoulder.
...I'm beginning to suspect that HRT was sorta the right call, y'all.
I had thought maybe I was some form of demisexual. It's rare that I meet anyone that engenders any real feelings of interest. In fact I can't recall the last time I had those kinds of feelings for someone so imagine my surprise when someone actually managed to pique my interest in a real way. I was not expecting that.
The age difference alone makes it a non-starter but they're very cute and I can't believe I'm saying that. They're probably trans and early in transition but it's not like I can ask for details. They work at a local fast food place so I see them sometimes when I stop by to get breakfast. They caught my attention originally because their voice was softer and they tended to wear these cute, feminine leaning face masks but the last time I stopped by they'd frosted the ends of their hair and they were wearing glossy red polish on some very nicely manicured nails and I uh, might have felt a bit of a flutter in my chest. I almost said something but I hesitated and they were distracted and busy and the moment passed.
It did confirm in a very real world way that yes I can still have those feelings and I can pretty safely call myself queer(even if I'm still too chicken to show it).
So not only am I heavily considering dyeing my hair a dark purple some time after I've moved in February (since my current job would definitely not allow it), I'm also looking at a tattoo consultation in October to get Luz's light glyph on my left shoulder.
...I'm beginning to suspect that HRT was sorta the right call, y'all.
There isn’t a goth thread so I’m just gonna roll up in here to say it was cooler and very windy today, which afforded me a chance to walk through town in all black in a long fluttery coat, but it was also sunny enough that I could get away with my hexagonal sunglasses.
I got a few of the right kind of smiles from a dozen folks, but I do worry my sexiest days are over. I’ve got a wrinkle on my brow and flecks of silver in my hair.
Posts
I am very happy with the results so far even with all the swelling.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
It doesn't fit me super well, and I'm not even really sure how it's supposed to fit. All I can really hope is that I don't look like a 12 year old dressing up in his dad's clothes.
Feels kind of weird to be glad about going to a funeral because it finally gave me this excuse. Also some sad irony in that my gran probably would have got the most entertainment from seeing me suited up, so it sucks that she won't see it.
I'm sure you already know this, but in case there's anyone out there wondering about suits, two fundamental things
1) Get it tailored. Especially if you don't know how it's supposed to fit, they absolutely do and will make you look and feel 100x better in it. (Even if you don't have the body type that would normally be "suited" for suits, heh, most tailors have seen every shape and size come through and will know what to do).
2) Get a vest to go with it. You don't need to wear the vest all the time, but a three-piece suit always looks good, and if you don't want to wear the jacket but want a little extra pizazz, a nice-fitting vest is the perfect choice. Bonus points for vest + rolled up sleeves. (Also this isn't for you specifically, but for any larger suit-wearers out there, vests are also fantastic for slimming you down and hiding some of that bulk - take it from an expert.)
Edit: Assuming it's a black suit, if you (or whoever) do decide to get a vest I'd suggest going with something other than black. Black vest-black pants is fine, but there are a lot of other color combos that can spice things up a lot more.
also every tailor I've ever gone to (not that many but like 4-5 at least) has found a way to make me feel good about my very chunky body. there's some kind of weird special magic there.
(Again, sorry if you know all this already. I've just had lots of friends that have wanted to get nice suits but felt too intimidated, so I like to share my experiences whenever I can.)
Now I gotta figure out how to best approach my two mid-50s abrasive coworkers about it, along with the like 2000 other people who work for the company we handle the mail for.
Fun!
I'm struggling a bit. I've now completed what turned out to be a very long evaluation for ASD, but have not received the results yet. They made it pretty clear I'm right on the line, which matches my expectation, but that doesn't make the wait any easier.
On the queer side, I feel like I'm in limbo. I mentioned my gender identity issues during the evaluation, but my psych health provider doesn't handle trans issues and couldn't give me much information on the subject. I was eventually referred to a clinic, but it took me weeks to build up the courage to call, and when I finally did it turned out to be impossible to get in contact with them. Even if I did, I'm not sure what I would say or ask.
There is a self-referral form I can send them, but I'm too scared to fill it out. I feel like they expect me to know exactly what I am and what I want, but I don't have that clarity, just a bunch of jumbled feelings. What if I fill out the form completely honestly and get rejected? What if I fill it out with what I think they want to hear and then get the wrong kind of help?
I know I'm probably being too dramatic and pessimistic, but it's a big and scary step to take.
I also may have just accidentally outed myself to a colleague. I work from home most days, which means I can slip into women's clothing whenever I'm not in a video meeting. Yesterday the inevitable happened; I answered a video call without remembering to change first. My response was of course to panic and try to duck out from the camera while I frantically closed the call, then call him back once I'd changed.
I honestly think I might have gotten away with it, it's very possible that he was focused on his second screen when I answered the call and the top I was wearing wasn't that obviously femme. He didn't seem shocked or confused and accepted my excuse that I wasn't properly dressed when I first answered, which hopefully means he didn't notice or doesn't mind if he did. Still quite scary though!
The people I see and help everyday are understanding and supportive, my boss and team lead don't care since they haven't liked me from the start, and our couriers have made no effort to learn.
But I can change my preferred name on the company level so everyone sees it, which should hopefully help spread the word and, ideally, improve things.
So, not terrible, but room for improvement.
My great aunt, who I haven't seen in like 15 years, asked 3 times who I was and I think in the end still wasn't sure.
I think my brother and I heard "You two look like the blues brothers" at least a dozen times. (My family obviously do not know the blues brothers very well, but it was amusing to hear).
Oh yea, get a good set of shades and a black fedora hat? I could totally see it. You're rocking that suite BTW, especially with it not being tailored.
Origin ID: Discgolfer27
Untappd ID: Discgolfer1981
I am of no help in terms of knowing how to navigate the health care here but it would seem pretty silly to expect you to know exactly what you are and want in order to get help and advice to figure out what you are and want
I am also of little specific help, but I will point out one thing. There's a lot of fears you're listing, especially in filling out the self-referral form. I think they are a bit reasonable, but at the same time, what if you fill it out and then you do get help? What if you put down the jumbled feelings you have, and the person they forward it to understands where you're coming from and can help you work through everything? What if good things happen?
The alternative is to do nothing and then nothing changes and you still feel terrible and uncomfortable. If you're not ready to deal with everything that's understandable, but at the same time things won't magically improve either if you don't do anything. Sometimes taking that risk to open up can be worth it. And worst case they do reject it, and you have find a different clinic or health care provider and try again. That would suck, but at least it's a kind of progress.
that suit will not need much tailoring at all, and those shoes are awesome
Then about two seconds later I felt stupid
So Say We All
Turns out my type is Attractive
Who knew
I had a ponytail for exactly 4 months when I was growing my hair out to donate and found them afterwards for years.
Now I just wish my hair would grow even longer, but think it’s kind of reached it’s limit.
...I'm beginning to suspect that HRT was sorta the right call, y'all.
i am not yet persuaded that hair ties are not actually alive and a creature not unlike tribbles
The age difference alone makes it a non-starter but they're very cute and I can't believe I'm saying that. They're probably trans and early in transition but it's not like I can ask for details. They work at a local fast food place so I see them sometimes when I stop by to get breakfast. They caught my attention originally because their voice was softer and they tended to wear these cute, feminine leaning face masks but the last time I stopped by they'd frosted the ends of their hair and they were wearing glossy red polish on some very nicely manicured nails and I uh, might have felt a bit of a flutter in my chest. I almost said something but I hesitated and they were distracted and busy and the moment passed.
It did confirm in a very real world way that yes I can still have those feelings and I can pretty safely call myself queer(even if I'm still too chicken to show it).
hell yeah join me in purple hair gang.
We can go do crimes in gotham!
I got a few of the right kind of smiles from a dozen folks, but I do worry my sexiest days are over. I’ve got a wrinkle on my brow and flecks of silver in my hair.
I know that’s vain but I used to be very sexy.
(With and without makeup)
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
That is all.
That’s all it needs to be! Very good news!