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Terrible Sex

1568101164

Posts

  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Graves wrote: »
    On Thursday night I had sex on the roof of my school.

    Is that normal?

    No, but it is awesome. I won't lie, I would greatly enjoy having sex in one of my past schools. Just corrupt all my childhood memories with some filthy, kinky shit.

    TankHammer on
  • DodgeBlanDodgeBlan PSN: dodgeblanRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    The kind of sex
    that kills you 12 months later

    DodgeBlan on
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  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT IT'S WORDS THAT MAKE ME CRY

    The Black Hunter on
  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT IT'S WORDS THAT MAKE ME CRY

    ++LEVEL UP++

    You just gained 15 Emo Points!

    You just gained Bad Haircut!

    You just Sarcastic T-Shirt!

    Gratz!

    Indie Winter on
    RCmKIvs.gif
    3034-4093-8537 on Switch
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    It was good sex, too.

    It just happened to be on the roof of a 3 story building.

    Only problem is the ground wasn't made for that sort of thing.

    Graves on
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT IT'S WORDS THAT MAKE ME CRY

    ++LEVEL UP++

    You just gained 15 Emo Points!

    You just gained Bad Haircut!

    You just Sarcastic T-Shirt!

    Gratz!

    He already had these I think

    Junpei on
  • Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Junpei wrote: »
    STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT IT'S WORDS THAT MAKE ME CRY

    ++LEVEL UP++

    You just gained 15 Emo Points!

    You just gained Bad Haircut!

    You just Sarcastic T-Shirt!

    Gratz!

    He already had these I think

    pff. nOOb gear.

    Indie Winter on
    RCmKIvs.gif
    3034-4093-8537 on Switch
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Junpei wrote: »
    STICKS AND STONES MAY BREAK MY BONES BUT IT'S WORDS THAT MAKE ME CRY

    ++LEVEL UP++

    You just gained 15 Emo Points!

    You just gained Bad Haircut!

    You just Sarcastic T-Shirt!

    Gratz!

    He already had these I think

    Maaaaan, I already had those, I haven't even equipped Sarcastic T-shirt in like half a year

    The Black Hunter on
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    My girlfriend's old apartment had roof access. It was amazing. We could see right into Boston. The Citgo sign, the Prudential Center, Hancock Tower, all laid out like a promotional poster. One night I made an awesome picnic feast with wine and gourmet, Italian sandwiches. We were euphoric and buzzing from such a romantic evening. So much so that we were tempted to get freaky up on the roof (6-story building for reference) but in order to keep from being locked out on the roof we had to leave the door open and it wasn't unusual for the other tenants to come up for a few beers or just to shoot the shit.

    A shame, it could have been fun.

    It's a good thing we didn't do it that night though, as some random pedestrian saw me stand up on the roof from the street and called the cops to report suspicious possibly-terrorist activities.

    The cops were good dudes though. I said I'd offer them a drink if they weren't on the clock. We hung out with the cops for a good half our before they decided to get back to patrol.

    TankHammer on
  • HomelessHomeless Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    having sex would probably be fun

    it sounds fun anyway

    uhh sometimes my dick gets all chafed from jerkin it

    mostly because i get really bored with whacking now and it takes forever

    Homeless on
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Homeless wrote: »
    having sex would probably be fun

    it sounds fun anyway

    uhh sometimes my dick gets all chafed from jerkin it

    mostly because i get really bored with whacking now and it takes forever

    Man up and buy a toy already.

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • WiseguyWiseguy __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2008
    Homeless wrote: »
    having sex would probably be fun

    it sounds fun anyway

    uhh sometimes my dick gets all chafed from jerkin it

    mostly because i get really bored with whacking now and it takes forever

    this is the saddest story

    Wiseguy on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Andrew RyanAndrew Ryan Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Homeless wrote: »
    having sex would probably be fun

    it sounds fun anyway

    uhh sometimes my dick gets all chafed from jerkin it

    mostly because i get really bored with whacking now and it takes forever

    It's really not that great..

    I was disapointed.

    Andrew Ryan on
    Mbt2W.gifbLHcF.gifMbt2W.gifbLHcF.gif
    naknaknaknaknak
  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    dick chafing represent :(

    so damn annoying. specially when you just gotta muscle through it because you need to sleep and it just won't happen if you don't blow a load.

    Label on
  • Goose!Goose! That's me, honey Show me the way home, honeyRegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    So you need to be emo to lament the fallacies of man?

    Goose! on
  • JunpeiJunpei Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    The tears help him sleep, shhhh

    Junpei on
  • Tim-OTim-O Registered User
    edited August 2008
    where did all the awesomely bad sex stories go?

    Tim-O on
  • WiseguyWiseguy __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2008
    it all sort of fizzled out and now it's just depressing stories about lonely dudes

    Wiseguy on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • arod_77arod_77 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2008
    Sorry, ive' never had bad sex 8-)

    arod_77 on
    glitteratsigcopy.jpg
  • seizureorbsseizureorbs Registered User
    edited August 2008
    Label wrote: »
    dick chafing represent :(

    so damn annoying. specially when you just gotta muscle through it because you need to sleep and it just won't happen if you don't blow a load.

    I'm guessing your hand doesn't have enough projection for you

    seizureorbs on
    eyes.gif
  • SeptusSeptus Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Wiseguy wrote: »
    it all sort of fizzled out and now it's just depressing stories about lonely dudes

    Like me! Hey! That's me!

    /wave

    Hey guys!

    Septus on
    PSN: Kurahoshi1
  • seizureorbsseizureorbs Registered User
    edited August 2008
    oh fuck that was like the meanest post and it totp'd too

    seizureorbs on
    eyes.gif
  • HomelessHomeless Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    man that makes me sound pathetic

    i do other things that are awesome

    like making REALLY LOUD NOISES with guitars

    Homeless on
  • arod_77arod_77 __BANNED USERS regular
    edited August 2008
    Only ugly chicks dig metalheads though

    arod_77 on
    glitteratsigcopy.jpg
  • WiseguyWiseguy __BANNED USERS
    edited August 2008
    Homeless wrote: »
    man that makes me sound pathetic

    i do other things that are awesome

    like making REALLY LOUD NOISES with guitars

    shhhh shhh

    dude it's gonna be all right

    i know a hooker up on 5th avenue

    Wiseguy on
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
  • Andrew RyanAndrew Ryan Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I had sex bad enough to pretty much kill my interest in sex.

    It's not really story worthy though..

    Andrew Ryan on
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    naknaknaknaknak
  • HomelessHomeless Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    arod_77 wrote: »
    Only ugly chicks dig metalheads though

    fuck this is so true

    metal chicks are SO GROSS

    Homeless on
  • cooljammer00cooljammer00 Hey Small Christmas-Man!Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    does everyone with a sex story in this thread automatically win over virgins?

    or is it one of those threads where it's better to not have done anything than to have a story here?

    cooljammer00 on
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  • YaYaYaYa Decent. Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    that's a tricky one

    I'm gonna go with the sex stories winning

    YaYa on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Sex is better than no sex in 99% of cases

    the other 1% is still more of a contribution to your life story than no sex

    The Black Hunter on
  • TankHammerTankHammer Atlanta Ghostbuster Atlanta, GARegistered User regular
    edited August 2008
    My first time having sex was stupid and awful but at the time I thought it was the most awesome thing. The girl was the worst girlfriend, all self-conscious and frumpy and sheltered for most of her life.

    I feel kinda bad that she was my first (and I was hers allegedly) as I know I didn't really love her, she was just the first girl at college who expressed any interest in me. I invited her over and we made out on my dorm bed. The sex happened much later and largely by accident we were in her bed and pantsless and grinding into each-other (not much better than a game of "just the tip"). I had assumed that her hymen would stop us from going too far.

    As it turned out she didn't seem to have one present.

    There was an awkward pause and then "...Oh. Uh? Is that? Are we?"

    Jesus fuck I was stupid.

    I actually believed at one point in high school that I was never going to have sex because girls don't like guys like me.
    I have since found this to be largely untrue.
    Also nerdy girls can be freaks. In the good way and bad.

    TankHammer on
  • nateknatek Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    So would sex with a girl, in your friend's bed, whom said friend had slept with earlier in the night, be considered a bad thing?

    On the one hand...kinda sloppy seconds.

    On the other...was definitely sex in his bed while he was passed out.

    probably still a bad thing

    natek on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    How hot was she Natek?

    She better be worth how horrible that it

    The Black Hunter on
  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    's life, seizureorbs. no biggie.

    Label on
  • nateknatek Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    not very hot :(

    natek on
  • The Black HunterThe Black Hunter Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    natek you lost

    try again later

    The Black Hunter on
  • LabelLabel Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    seems like it's not really a "kinda" sloppy seconds thing there. more towards bathing in oatmeal.

    Label on
  • nateknatek Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    it was during junior year of high school, so luckily I really only remember bits and pieces.

    I wouldn't even recognize her if I saw her today

    natek on
  • L|amaL|ama Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    Homeless wrote: »
    arod_77 wrote: »
    Only ugly chicks dig metalheads though

    fuck this is so true

    metal chicks are SO GROSS

    ugh yes

    L|ama on
  • GravesGraves Registered User regular
    edited August 2008
    I've only had bad sex once and it's not really even a good story.

    Bitch pretty much just got up like "OH MAN THAT WAS GREAT" and I was all "I'm not done" and she put her pants on and I was like ok that's cool I guess.

    I dunno I was pretty drunk.

    Graves on
This discussion has been closed.