Here are my wishes, should I shuffle off the mortal coil in the unlikely event that I die before gene therapy reaches its inevitable potential and lets us all live forever:
I wish to be cremated, the ashes poured into a freshly dug hole, and in the hole, atop the ash, a sapling of a great tree be planted. Preferably a Canadian Redwood, but anything that grows large and lives long will do.
This tree should be planted in a place where it will be allowed to live for a long time, away from noise and development, a place where a person might reflect, a place where I might be happy to linger for eternity.
The tree should be unmarked and unadorned, no etching of my life or symbol of my death, known only to those who knew me, that this is my tree. The tree should stand alone in a field, with space around that if they so wish, and if immortality eludes them also, the great loves in life, wife, children, friends may be planted with a tree nearby when they also die.
I have no wishes as to the details of my funeral, apart from the music:
No
that is dumb
we get some of those stagehand dudes in complete black outfits and they move you around in a super awesome dance/karate mid air fight scene where you kick some random dude's ass
even in death you are a mighty champion
Grab a bitchin' Camaro
Rig it up for remote drive
Stuff me in the driver seat, whiskey in one hand, cigar in the other (top hat and monocle preferred)
Load it to the hilt with explosives
Drive off ramp situated on a cliff
Detonate
Funerals. Brought to you by Micheal Bay
Wait no, that's with the Camaro, the cliff-jump, and then F-22s shoot you mid-air. Fuck, I like this idea.
But seriously, I like the idea of being cremated, and being put underneath a tree sapling (an oak, maybe a redwood, something though that would survive on it's own, and not look out of place. We have both around here, naturally). I imagine it being an oak on a hillside, overlooking a nice valley, or a redwood that's easy to find but off the road, in a gully in the forest.
My fiance mentioned, as we were talking about this once, that she couldn't choose just one song to play; she'd just put my iPod on shuffle, even all the crazy shit like random movie scores.
MetroidZoid on
Steam
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Dhalphirdon't you open that trapdooryou're a fool if you dareRegistered Userregular
edited April 2010
if i ever was to be buried i'd want yakkity sax to be played as i'm lowered into the hole
what you wanna do is get buried feet-first, no casket, have a sapling planted just behind your skull
bam, that tree gets fertilized by your corpse, and your bones stick around in its root system
bonus points if it's on a hill and the hillside erodes, exposing your skeleton supported like a macabre puppet by a hundred roots
One thing you have to remember about something like planting a tree over you, is that you should, in combination with relying on family members to take care of the tree, also rely on the gov't to protect national parks, plant yourself there so some asshole doesn't get to clear cut your unmarked grave for some shitty condos...
I mean, maybe you have to ask for permission or something, but it's not like someone is going to bitch about you adding an extra tree to a national park
edit: Dichotomy that is amazing
oh god, that would be insane if that happened
what you wanna do is get buried feet-first, no casket, have a sapling planted just behind your skull
bam, that tree gets fertilized by your corpse, and your bones stick around in its root system
bonus points if it's on a hill and the hillside erodes, exposing your skeleton supported like a macabre puppet by a hundred roots
Honestly, I'd rather not die at all and if I did I would like to be frozen and brought back with the magical science our future society will have.
Darmak on
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FishmanPut your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain.Registered Userregular
edited April 2010
Plenty of places do tree planting now. The trick is that to be really good plant food, you've got to not let them fill your body with toxic chemicals and preservatives... embalming might make you look decent for an open casket, but it's horrible poison as far as plant food and soil pollution go.
Grab a bitchin' Camaro
Rig it up for remote drive
Stuff me in the driver seat, whiskey in one hand, cigar in the other (top hat and monocle preferred)
Load it to the hilt with explosives
Drive off ramp situated on a cliff
Detonate
this is pretty much my ideal funeral, except over the side of a bridge into a river instead of a cliff. and it doesn't need to be a fancy car, the old corolla I drove in high school would be fine.
when I communicated as such to my father a couple months ago, I don't think he believed me.
since that's not very likely to happen though, I suppose I'd want my body cremated after all the interesting or reuseable parts were harvested in the name of medicine/science. Then, at my funeral, Europe's The Final Countdown must be played in its entirety. That's actually the most important part, and I need to get it officially down in writing so whoever is taking care of this thing knows that I was really for reals on that point.
yeah. it's pretty much the only one i've ever had. the whole process of just slowly being able to not move as the pressure bares down and then hardens around you.
i've always had this imagined thing that it would be so torturous to be put in cement. even with your head out of it, the whole thing hardening around you so that you can't continue to breathe in and expand your chest.
i'm not even sure that that is what happens but it is the only thing that gives me the heebie jeebies. everything else i can think of, i could see myself facing
yeah. it's pretty much the only one i've ever had. the whole process of just slowly being able to not move as the pressure bares down and then hardens around you.
i've always had this imagined thing that it would be so torturous to be put in cement. even with your head out of it, the whole thing hardening around you so that you can't continue to breathe in and expand your chest.
i'm not even sure that that is what happens but it is the only thing that gives me the heebie jeebies. everything else i can think of, i could see myself facing
Also, when the cement cures it produces heat so you would get extremely hot. I don't know how hot, if it would just be uncomfortable or if you'd be baked alive, but I wouldn't want to find out either.
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Cuz that would be rad
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I'll go with some Rip Slyme
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elaborate system of pulleys and levers
Less rad
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Fill you full of
It's rude in many cultures.
[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]
that is dumb
we get some of those stagehand dudes in complete black outfits and they move you around in a super awesome dance/karate mid air fight scene where you kick some random dude's ass
even in death you are a mighty champion
Dance to death.
Funerals. Brought to you by Micheal Bay
Wait no, that's with the Camaro, the cliff-jump, and then F-22s shoot you mid-air. Fuck, I like this idea.
But seriously, I like the idea of being cremated, and being put underneath a tree sapling (an oak, maybe a redwood, something though that would survive on it's own, and not look out of place. We have both around here, naturally). I imagine it being an oak on a hillside, overlooking a nice valley, or a redwood that's easy to find but off the road, in a gully in the forest.
My fiance mentioned, as we were talking about this once, that she couldn't choose just one song to play; she'd just put my iPod on shuffle, even all the crazy shit like random movie scores.
3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
lame
what you wanna do is get buried feet-first, no casket, have a sapling planted just behind your skull
bam, that tree gets fertilized by your corpse, and your bones stick around in its root system
bonus points if it's on a hill and the hillside erodes, exposing your skeleton supported like a macabre puppet by a hundred roots
Theme song to Sanford and Son
I mean, maybe you have to ask for permission or something, but it's not like someone is going to bitch about you adding an extra tree to a national park
edit: Dichotomy that is amazing
oh god, that would be insane if that happened
Hahahahahaha
and my ashes fired out of a cannon
into the Sun
why ruin a perfectly good corpse
just staple an old photo over my face
this is pretty much my ideal funeral, except over the side of a bridge into a river instead of a cliff. and it doesn't need to be a fancy car, the old corolla I drove in high school would be fine.
when I communicated as such to my father a couple months ago, I don't think he believed me.
since that's not very likely to happen though, I suppose I'd want my body cremated after all the interesting or reuseable parts were harvested in the name of medicine/science. Then, at my funeral, Europe's The Final Countdown must be played in its entirety. That's actually the most important part, and I need to get it officially down in writing so whoever is taking care of this thing knows that I was really for reals on that point.
edit: also, avery brooks would deliver my eulogy
Well, only if my death is worthy of the Valkyries.
You know just something to let my brain have a rest, Liches and Ghosts still have to think and stuff.
anyone who is not willing to do the same is a selfish prick
Tibetan Sky Burial all the way
Your big fear is being encased in concrete?
That's a pretty legitimate fear.
i've always had this imagined thing that it would be so torturous to be put in cement. even with your head out of it, the whole thing hardening around you so that you can't continue to breathe in and expand your chest.
i'm not even sure that that is what happens but it is the only thing that gives me the heebie jeebies. everything else i can think of, i could see myself facing
The teenage vandalism, the teasing of my co-workers, the whole lot
and I want them to do it with a smile on their face
Also, when the cement cures it produces heat so you would get extremely hot. I don't know how hot, if it would just be uncomfortable or if you'd be baked alive, but I wouldn't want to find out either.