Col. Madder: Good idea acting as bait, Murderbot. This is working pretty well!
Sq. Fearghaill: On our flank!
Sq. Fearghaill {plasma rifle fire}
Sq. Fearghaill: Shit. Watch yourself, Macky.
{plasma rifle fire}
Lt. Macky: Aaagh!
Lt. Macky {heavy plasma fire}
Lt. Macky: Well that's not good.
Sq. Fearghaill: Deploying alternative thingamawhatsit.
{explosion}
Lt. Macky: Woah, that was kind of close!
Sq. Fearghaill: Sorry.
Lt. Macky: It's okay. Fortunately my ears are already ringing from being shot in the face.
Col. Madder: Murderbot, fall back and get healed up. You're no good as plasma bait if you die.
Lt. Macky: Another tango down below!
Col. Madder {laser pistol shots}
Cpt. Feriluce {plasma rifle fire}
Cpt. Feriluce: Target down. Now Macky, can I interest you in some of my finest aerosol-based drugs?
Cpl. Kathulu: We have another pack of hostiles, far side.
Col. Madder: I see them.
Col. Madder {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Cpt. Feriluce {plasma rifle fire}
Sq. Fearghaill {plasma rifle fire}
{plasma rifle fire}
{hisssss}
Cpl. Kathulu: Ow, damn that stings.
Lt. Macky: *cough* uugh, I think I'm gonna puke.
Col. Madder {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Col. Madder: Target down. Just the one on ground level left.
Cpt. Murderbot: I can take care of that.
Cpt. Murderbot {alloy cannon blast}
Cpt. Murderbot: AO is clear.
Col. Madder: Then let's pick up our package and get home.
+3
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Col. Madder: Kathulu, Fearghaill, get up on the far side and provide cover until we have the VIP secured. More tangoes will be on their way soon.
Kathulu: Aye aye.
Cpt. Murderbot: General Van Doorn? We're getting you out of here, sir.
Van Doorn: Who are you people?
Cpt. Murderbot: Just... why does everybody care about that? We have big guns and just killed a bunch of hostiles to save you, we're basically the A Team, now instead of asking questions how about you move.
Lt. Macky: Tangoes!
Sq. Fearghaill {plasma rifle fire}
Col. Madder: Behind us, two more!
Col. Madder {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Cpt. Feriluce {plasma rifle fire}
Lt. Macky {heavy plasma fire}
Lt. Macky: All clear.
Van Doorn: ...uh, okay, let's just get moving.
Cpt. Murderbot: Two more hostiles dropping in between us and the 'ranger.
{plasma rifle fire}
Cpt. Feriluce {plasma rifle fire}
Cpt. Murderbot {alloy cannon blast}
Cpt. Murderbot: Path to the 'ranger is clear. Make a move, Van Doorn.
Cpt. Murderbot: Package is secure. We're done here.
Soldier: Uh... do you think I can I get a ride?
Col. Madder: Oh hey, totally forgot about you! Yeah, okay, I suppose you can come too.
+7
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Cpl. Kathulu promoted to Sergeant. Nicknamed Smash. May be trained in either Lightning Reflexes (guarantees the enemy's first reaction shot will always miss) or Close and Personal (confers +30% critical chance against adjacent targets) @Kristmas Kthulhu
Sq. Fearghaill promoted to Corporal. Fearghaill can train in either Tactical Sense (+5 defense per enemy in sight to max +20) or Aggression (+10% critical chance per enemy in sight to max +30%) @Fearghaill
Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Intermission Base Report
As a reward from that mission we get a new soldier. Maybe it's that guy we picked up? He's a support at major rank, with pretty impressive will and aim.
But really, who does this asshole think he is? You don't just walk into XCOM at major rank. You earn your place by climbing atop the corpses of many aliens, and also some of your fellow humans. This guy hasn't got the physical and emotional scars that make a proper XCOM soldier. I don't care if you're a crack shot with nerves of adamantium, there's no place for you here buddy.
A few days later, the Overseer vessel shows up again, this time over Canada. Tensions are high in mission control as the North America Firestorm is deployed with its new EMP cannon. And hooray!! We finally shoot the fucker down! Many celebrations are had.
Squad One are up, but instead of filling the 6th slot with a less experienced soldier like I usually do, I'm sending Label along. I figure his psionics may come in handy. And probably his explosives, too.
Also, I'm giving Fuzzbutt an arc thrower for the first time in a long while. I haven't bothered trying to capture anything since I turned off health bars because it feels too risky, but there's a new alien type on this craft. We'll see how I feel about the risk when the time comes.
+3
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Blackhawk1313Demon Hunter for HireTime RiftRegistered Userregular
Aggression and Lightning Reactions please smof if you haven't already selected.
UnbrokenEvaHIGH ON THE WIREBUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered Userregular
edited January 2014
edit: scratch that. who wants to live forever?
Aggression, Commander
UnbrokenEva on
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UnbrokenEvaHIGH ON THE WIREBUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered Userregular
also I'm pretty pleased that my comeback after eating plasma on my first mission is to rack up my first 4 kills
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chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
So, is that titan armor?
Always wanted my own suit of power armor. Would like it a little better with Chryssalid skin undercoating, but beggers can't be choosers. Just glad to have a few more inches of alien alloy between me and probable death.
Munkus BeaverYou don't have to attend every argument you are invited to.Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPAregular
MURDERBOT WOULD LIKE TO POINT OUT A TYPO IN THE BRIEFING.
VAN DOORN SHOULD BE VAN DOOM.
KNEEL BEFORE DOOM.
Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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Caulk Bite 6One of the multitude of Dans infesting this placeRegistered Userregular
see, I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks that.
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
edited February 2014
Operation Brutal Dawn - Assault of Overseer vessel
November 24th 04:58 Canada
Maj. Floosevelt, Maj. Fuzzbutt, Maj. Jing, Maj. Eleven, Lt. Alagant, Col. Label
Maj. Floosevelt: According to Dr. Vahlen this ship was being protected by some exceptionally advanced technology, which suggests it's carrying something pretty important. Expect heavy resistance.
Maj. Floosevelt and Maj. Fuzzbutt both promoted to Colonel. They can each choose training in either Resilience (confers immunity to critical hits) or Killer Instinct (activating Run & Gun confers +50% critical damage for that turn) @Theodore Floosevelt and @Mr Fuzzbutt
Col. Floosevelt also receives further training in psionics, specialising in buffing his squadmates with Psi Inspiration (removes Mindfray/panic and grants +30 Will to all squadmates within 3 tiles; 2 turn duration, 4 turn cooldown) or demoralising his opponents with Psi Panic (causes target to panic on its following turn if its Will is overcome; robotic enemies are immune. 2 turn cooldown)
also! I owe Fuzzbutt some vodka from my secret stash. Jing just gets water.
+1
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chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
What kind of anime did you feel, anyway?
Like, that spiky haired guy when he's doing the glowy thing and looks constipated, the kind with schoolgirls and tentacles, or the kind with Tetsuo mutating into a giant fetus before bonding with the nature of evolution?
chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
Well, don't know about the rest of you, but the adrenaline and stims are wearing off enough to stop thinking about the battle and start thinking about the war again.
You know what I think we grabbed?
Genuine command element. They didn't want us to even see the ship, and everything in the crew but that asshole was pure military. And we brought their charge in alive.
Considering everything else we brought in sings like a bird after a few hours in the cells, I think we might actually get an idea why the hell we're in this shit and where to shove an alloy cannon.
And we got some decent tech from the rubble too. Don't know what the glowy orb is, but if years of bad science fiction have taught me anything, it's that glowy orbs are the key to all advanced technology. And if months of being around here mean much, it's that anything making psis act even more psychotic than their standard has to be the good stuff.
I'm not saying the war's won, but I think it's about time we consider what the plan is when this all ends.
AntimatterDevo Was RightGates of SteelRegistered Userregular
i havent seen either so i'll default
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
Intermission Base Report
The team get back to base with the shiniest bit of loot ever. It seems to be one of those stoner lamps which make lightning when you put your hands on it? I would not be surprised if the aliens are all potheads, the lighting in their ships is kind of a giveaway.
Yeah, I agree with that look Dr. Shen. Vahlen's science-boner for this stuff worries me a bit, too.
Apparently the aliens really didn't like us stealing their lamp though, because a muthafugging huge ship materialises in orbit and triggers a bunch of seismic events across the globe. Which is interesting.
Dr. Vahlen's probably thinking "god I wish I had the technology to make earthquakes happen." I bet she's going to tell me to capture that ship so she can learn how to make her own earthquakes.
Once everyone calms down I decide to send another batch of soldiers down for mind-probing.
Sim and Murderbot are chosen for having impressively high Will. Rankenphile is chosen just because I thought it would be hilarious if she turned out to have psionics.
The science team set to studying the weird lamp, and in the meantime they also interrogate the captured ethereal. The first thing we discover about them is they have four arms, which is pretty cool! You would have thought with four arms they would carry at least one gun though. I thought these guys were meant to be smart.
It puts up a bit of a fight against being interrogated so we don't learn a lot, apparently. Let's see how resistant it is to slicing and dicing.
Not very! We can now manufacture 'mind shields' which I guess are like really expensive tinfoil hats, for keeping the aliens and/or government spies out of your head. Shortly after this research was announced, a petition arrived on the commander's desk requesting that one be commissioned for Col. Rankenphile as soon as possible, signed by every other active soldier.
A few days later the science team finish investigating the stoner lamp. They admit they are basically making things up because it's all some wacky shit, man, but they seem to think we could use this technology to do some kind of psionic inception to the aliens. Which sounds pretty crazy and dangerous, so let's do it.
We got a fair bit of elerium from that last mission so I do a bunch more research I was putting off before. Plasma pistols, so our snipers can stop using lasers as their secondaries, and psi armour because I think Label would like some. I also build another Heavy Plasma so we have enough for all our heavies.
End of the month, and the council report rolls in. These guys are starting to get on my nerves. So critical!
Well they'll change their tune once our soldiers get out of psi-testing and we have a more impressive number of brain-wizard super troops...
...oh. Okay. I guess we'll just stick with Floosevelt and Label, then. I mean it's not like only having two psionics in our entire project is super risky or anything.
But enough of that. Because aliens!
+6
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Theodore Flooseveltproud parent of eight beautiful girls and shalmelodorne (which is currently being ruled by a woman (awesome role model for my daughters)) #dornedadRegistered Userregular
it seems to make sense to me to take resilience and further congeal into both my gigantic armor and my role as a weathered ol callous of a squad leader
also inspiration, please!
now if you'll excuse me commander I'll be in my bunk googling "things an anime yell"
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chiasaur11Never doubt a raccoon.Do you think it's trademarked?Registered Userregular
I recommend "KANEDA!"
Also, I'm amazed at how not-shot I still am.
I'm not complaining, mind. Just feeling like Darrell Powers here.
...Which means I'll break an arm or something in a Skyranger crash when this is all settled.
Posts
November 19th 21:09 Brazil
Col. Madder, Cpt. Feriluce, Cpt. Murderbot, Lt. Macky, Cpl. Kathulu, Sq. Fearghaill
Soldier: Hey! Friendlies over here!
Soldier: Who are you? What operation are you from?
Cpt. Murderbot: All you need to know is we're here to pull your ass out of the fire.
Col. Madder: Are you Van Doorn?
Soldier: No ma'am. He went on up ahead, but we got split up when more of those things attacked.
Col. Madder: All right, sit tight, we'll find him.
Soldier: Be careful. These things... they look like humans, but I don't think they're humans.
Col. Madder: Oh. Thin men. Brilliant. Move out, people.
Cpt. Feriluce: Movement up ahead!
Sq. Fearghaill {plasma rifle fire}
Sq. Fearghaill: One down.
{plasma rifle fire}
Col. Madder: Damn, I hate thin men.
Cpl. Kathulu: Tango has good cover. Deploying alternative tactical solution.
Cpt. Murderbot: Can't you just say "frag out" like a normal person?
{explosion}
Col. Madder: Move up!
Cpt. Murderbot: I have eyes on the VIP. And the area is hot.
Cpt. Murderbot: Great choice of cover, guys.
{explosion}
Cpt. Murderbot: Two down.
Sq. Fearghaill: Got the third in my sights.
Sq. Fearghaill {plasma rifle fire}
Sq. Fearghaill: VIP Is clear.
Cpt. Murderbot: Not so fast. We just got some more attention.
Cpt. Murderbot: They're advancing. Heads down, people!
{plasma rifle fire}
Cpt. Murderbot: Aagh, god dammit.
Col. Madder {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Col. Madder: It's down.
Cpt. Feriluce: Second one moving up!
{plasma rifle fire}
Cpt. Murderbot: Motherffff-
Col. Madder {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Col. Madder: Good idea acting as bait, Murderbot. This is working pretty well!
Sq. Fearghaill: On our flank!
Sq. Fearghaill {plasma rifle fire}
Sq. Fearghaill: Shit. Watch yourself, Macky.
{plasma rifle fire}
Lt. Macky: Aaagh!
Lt. Macky {heavy plasma fire}
Lt. Macky: Well that's not good.
Sq. Fearghaill: Deploying alternative thingamawhatsit.
{explosion}
Lt. Macky: Woah, that was kind of close!
Sq. Fearghaill: Sorry.
Lt. Macky: It's okay. Fortunately my ears are already ringing from being shot in the face.
Col. Madder: Murderbot, fall back and get healed up. You're no good as plasma bait if you die.
Lt. Macky: Another tango down below!
Col. Madder {laser pistol shots}
Cpt. Feriluce {plasma rifle fire}
Cpt. Feriluce: Target down. Now Macky, can I interest you in some of my finest aerosol-based drugs?
Cpl. Kathulu: We have another pack of hostiles, far side.
Col. Madder: I see them.
Col. Madder {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Cpt. Feriluce {plasma rifle fire}
Sq. Fearghaill {plasma rifle fire}
{plasma rifle fire}
{hisssss}
Cpl. Kathulu: Ow, damn that stings.
Lt. Macky: *cough* uugh, I think I'm gonna puke.
Col. Madder {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Col. Madder: Target down. Just the one on ground level left.
Cpt. Murderbot: I can take care of that.
Cpt. Murderbot {alloy cannon blast}
Cpt. Murderbot: AO is clear.
Col. Madder: Then let's pick up our package and get home.
Kathulu: Aye aye.
Cpt. Murderbot: General Van Doorn? We're getting you out of here, sir.
Van Doorn: Who are you people?
Cpt. Murderbot: Just... why does everybody care about that? We have big guns and just killed a bunch of hostiles to save you, we're basically the A Team, now instead of asking questions how about you move.
Lt. Macky: Tangoes!
Sq. Fearghaill {plasma rifle fire}
Col. Madder: Behind us, two more!
Col. Madder {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Cpt. Feriluce {plasma rifle fire}
Lt. Macky {heavy plasma fire}
Lt. Macky: All clear.
Van Doorn: ...uh, okay, let's just get moving.
Cpt. Murderbot: Two more hostiles dropping in between us and the 'ranger.
{plasma rifle fire}
Cpt. Feriluce {plasma rifle fire}
Cpt. Murderbot {alloy cannon blast}
Cpt. Murderbot: Path to the 'ranger is clear. Make a move, Van Doorn.
Cpt. Murderbot: Package is secure. We're done here.
Soldier: Uh... do you think I can I get a ride?
Col. Madder: Oh hey, totally forgot about you! Yeah, okay, I suppose you can come too.
Kill Count
Col. Madder 4
Cpt. Murderbot 4
Sq. Fearghaill 4
Cpt. Feriluce 3
Lt. Macky 1
Cpl. Kathulu 1
Promotions
Cpl. Kathulu promoted to Sergeant. Nicknamed Smash. May be trained in either Lightning Reflexes (guarantees the enemy's first reaction shot will always miss) or Close and Personal (confers +30% critical chance against adjacent targets) @Kristmas Kthulhu
Sq. Fearghaill promoted to Corporal. Fearghaill can train in either Tactical Sense (+5 defense per enemy in sight to max +20) or Aggression (+10% critical chance per enemy in sight to max +30%) @Fearghaill
Casualty List
Lt. Macky admitted to the medbay for 5 days.
---
Overall Kill Count
Col. Madder 33
Col. Label 28
Col. Rankenphile 28 (+2)
Maj. Floosevelt 28
Cpt. Starbuck 23 (KIA)
Maj. Fuzzbutt 19 (+5)
Maj. Jing 18
Cpt. Murderbot 18
Maj. Eleven 16
Cpt. Feriluce 15
Cpt. Fuego 14
Cpt. Galore 12 (KIA)
Lt. Fisk 11 (KIA)
Lt. Macky 9
Lt. Pugilation 8 (KIA)
Sgt. Scherbchen 8
Lt. Alagant 7
Sgt. Thirteen 7
Lt. Sim 6
Sgt. Kathulu 6
Sgt. Crawfish 5
Sgt. Escutcheon 5
Sgt. Vulgarity 4
Cpl. Fearghaill 4
Cpl. Aya 4 (KIA)
Sq. Mullet 4 (KIA)
Sq. Bogey 3 (KIA)
Sq. Gatz 2 (KIA)
GOLIATH-1 2
Cpl. Nickety 1
Sq. Sticks 0 (KIA)
Sq. Blythe 6th 0 (KIA)
Rk. Lobo 0 (KIA)
Rk. Fatt 0 (KIA)
As a reward from that mission we get a new soldier. Maybe it's that guy we picked up? He's a support at major rank, with pretty impressive will and aim.
But really, who does this asshole think he is? You don't just walk into XCOM at major rank. You earn your place by climbing atop the corpses of many aliens, and also some of your fellow humans. This guy hasn't got the physical and emotional scars that make a proper XCOM soldier. I don't care if you're a crack shot with nerves of adamantium, there's no place for you here buddy.
A few days later, the Overseer vessel shows up again, this time over Canada. Tensions are high in mission control as the North America Firestorm is deployed with its new EMP cannon. And hooray!! We finally shoot the fucker down! Many celebrations are had.
Squad One are up, but instead of filling the 6th slot with a less experienced soldier like I usually do, I'm sending Label along. I figure his psionics may come in handy. And probably his explosives, too.
Also, I'm giving Fuzzbutt an arc thrower for the first time in a long while. I haven't bothered trying to capture anything since I turned off health bars because it feels too risky, but there's a new alien type on this craft. We'll see how I feel about the risk when the time comes.
Aggression, Commander
Always wanted my own suit of power armor. Would like it a little better with Chryssalid skin undercoating, but beggers can't be choosers. Just glad to have a few more inches of alien alloy between me and probable death.
Why I fear the ocean.
You done good, kid
@chiasaur you worry too much!
I can only hope if I keep worrying, I'll stay out of the morgue.
Why I fear the ocean.
VAN DOORN SHOULD BE VAN DOOM.
KNEEL BEFORE DOOM.
November 24th 04:58 Canada
Maj. Floosevelt, Maj. Fuzzbutt, Maj. Jing, Maj. Eleven, Lt. Alagant, Col. Label
Maj. Floosevelt: According to Dr. Vahlen this ship was being protected by some exceptionally advanced technology, which suggests it's carrying something pretty important. Expect heavy resistance.
Col. Label: Heavy, like, robot tank heavy?
Maj. Floosevelt {plasma rifle fire}
Maj. Eleven {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Maj. Jing {plasma rifle fire}
Lt. Alagant {heavy laser fire}
Col. Label {heavy plasma fire}
Maj. Fuzzbutt {alloy cannon blast}
Maj. Floosevelt: That... was... terrible!
Col. Label: In our defense, it's a very small target.
Lt. Alagant: Close-formation aliens are my favourite kind of aliens.
Lt. Alagant {RPG launch}
{EXPLOSION}
Lt. Alagant: Drones are down.
Maj. Eleven {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Maj. Eleven: That's a hit.
Maj. Floosevelt {plasma rifle fire}
Maj. Floosevelt: That's a miss. Going again.
Maj. Floosevelt {plasma rifle fire}
Maj. Floosevelt: There we go.
{EXPLOSION}
Maj. Fuzzbutt: A sectopod down not fifteen yards from the Skyranger. We've had worse days.
Maj. Jing: It's cos we brought a lucky charm along. Good to have you back with us, Label.
Col. Label: Jing if you shoot me again, I swear to god, I will flay you with my mind.
Maj. Fuzzbutt: I hear movement. Sounds like mutons.
Maj. Eleven: Let's just check we're not walking into an ambush.
Maj. Eleven: Scanner shows all clear. Keep moving.
Col. Label: You hear that? It sounds big and metal and stompy.
Maj. Eleven: Let's not take any unnecessary risks, hey?
Maj. Eleven: All clear again...
Maj. Eleven: ...uh, wait, scrap that. Scanner's got something.
Lt. Alagant: Throwing frag!
{explosion}
Maj. Jing {plasma rifle fire}
Col. Label: Floosevelt, no, you're doing it all wrong. You have to shout something when you use your mind bullets, or it just looks weird.
Maj. Eleven {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Maj. Eleven: All clear.
Maj. Floosevelt: Okay, keep moving. Eleven, give us some cover.
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Got eyes on the craft.
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Sounds like somebody's home, too.
Maj. Jing: More mutons!
Maj. Floosevelt: We're pretty exposed out here. Recommend an aggressive approach.
Maj. Fuzzbutt: I like it. Get all up in their grill before they can get into position. Gives us the element of-
Maj. Jing: Surprise!
Maj. Floosevelt {plasma rifle fire}
Maj. Jing {plasma rifle fire}
Col. Label: I told you I heard a big metal stompy thing.
Lt. Alagant: Mutons are repositioning!
Maj. Floosevelt: Hmmmm.
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Roger that.
Maj. Fuzzbutt {alloy cannon blast}
Maj. Fuzzbutt: One down.
Maj. Floosevelt: Chiasaur, Jing, get out of that tank's LOS.
Maj. Eleven: Just what I was thinking myself.
Col. Label: All right now, let's do this Label, just like we practised on Tim in the mail room.
Col. Label: Muahahahahaaa! Your mind is mine!!
Lt. Alagant: Jesus. Poor Tim.
Maj. Jing: Uh, got a sectopod on my tail here guys. Anyone have a distraction?
Col. Label: Got it covered.
Col. Label {RPG launch}
{EXPLOSION}
Col. Label: Shit, I missed.
Maj. Floosevelt: But you took out both the drones. So congratulations on failing really well, I guess?
Maj. Jing: Well I'm not hanging around.
Col. Label: Ooh I know, I can send the muton out as bait!
Col. Label: I think it's working, I've got the sectopod's attention.
Sectopod {chest cannon blast}
Col. Label: Owwww! Not working! Not working!
Sectopod {chest cannon blast}
Maj. Eleven: Woah, I'm glad that missed. That looked like it would have really hurt.
Mind-controlled muton: Raarghl!
{explosion}
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Oh my god. A tango fragging another tango. It's so beautiful.
Maj. Eleven {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Maj. Floosevelt: Opening the door for you, LT.
Lt. Alagant: That's real kind of you, major.
Lt. Alagant {RPG launch}
{EXPLOSION}
Maj. Jing: Ah-ha, my apparent cowardice was in reality superior tactics!
Maj. Jing {plasma rifle fire}
{EXPLOSION}
Maj. Floosevelt: That's the tank dealt with. Everyone just be ready for when that muton wakes back up. You ready, Fuzzbutt?
Maj. Fuzzbutt: I'm ready.
{plasma rifle fire}
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Were you ready?
Maj. Floosevelt: Son of a bee.
Maj. Floosevelt {plasma rifle fire}
Maj. Fuzzbutt {alloy cannon blast}
Maj. Floosevelt: Uh, medic?
Maj. Jing: I can hear something in there making some weird noises I haven't heard before.
Col. Label: Interesting. Let's go and kill it.
Col. Label: Beyond this door is probably some new and exciting unspeakable horror, so everyone gather 'round.
Lt. Alagant: This isn't going to be one of your "inspiring" speeches, is it?
Col. Label: Shut up. If I don't concentrate I might do this wrong and accidentally melt your brain.
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Woah. That was so anime.
Col. Label: Do you feel any different?
Lt. Alagant: I feel... sparkly?
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Super anime.
Col. Label: *sigh* I don't know why I bother. Just open the door.
Lt. Alagant: Breaching!
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Oh my god, there's aliens in here!
Maj. Jing: That's the new hostile in the corner? It's... skinnier than I was expecting.
Maj. Eleven {plasma sniper rifle fire}
Maj. Eleven: One less.
Maj. Floosevelt: Um... zzzzarp!
Maj. Jing: Fuzzbutt, get in there and finish off that muton.
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Just run right in there, with the new, unknown alien monster?
Maj. Jing: It's got no weapons! How bad can it be? You're an assault, go assault!
Maj. Fuzzbutt {alloy cannon blast}
{explosion}
Lt. Alagant: nnnng...
Col. Label: Ah crap, Alagant's been hijacked. I really hope he doesn't shoot me.
Maj. Jing {plasma rifle fire}
Maj. Floosevelt {plasma rifle fire}
Maj. Floosevelt: Ow! Uh... I think I just... shot myself?
Col. Label: I'm sorry Jing. I'm sorry Fuzzbutt.
Maj. Jing: What? Sorry for what?
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Label? What are you doing?
{explosion}
Maj. Jing: Motherfucker!
Col. Label: Hahaha.
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Dammit my ears are ringing again.
Maj. Fuzzbutt {zzzap!}
Maj. Eleven: All right! We got us a one of whatever that is.
Maj. Fuzzbutt: Seriously that is so bad for my ears. I need some earplugs.
Maj. Floosevelt: So Label how do you like being back on squad one?
Col. Label: I got shot by a sectopod.
Maj. Floosevelt: But you didn't get shot by Jing, so, you know. Yay!
Kill Count
Maj. Fuzzbutt 3 (+1 stun)
Col. Label 2
Maj. Jing 2
Maj. Eleven 2
Lt. Alagant 2
Maj. Floosevelt 1
Promotions
Maj. Floosevelt and Maj. Fuzzbutt both promoted to Colonel. They can each choose training in either Resilience (confers immunity to critical hits) or Killer Instinct (activating Run & Gun confers +50% critical damage for that turn) @Theodore Floosevelt and @Mr Fuzzbutt
Col. Floosevelt also receives further training in psionics, specialising in buffing his squadmates with Psi Inspiration (removes Mindfray/panic and grants +30 Will to all squadmates within 3 tiles; 2 turn duration, 4 turn cooldown) or demoralising his opponents with Psi Panic (causes target to panic on its following turn if its Will is overcome; robotic enemies are immune. 2 turn cooldown)
Casualty List
None because everyone's a boss.
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Overall Kill Count
Col. Madder 33
Col. Label 30
Col. Floosevelt 29
Col. Rankenphile 28 (+2)
Cpt. Starbuck 23 (KIA)
Col. Fuzzbutt 22 (+6)
Maj. Jing 20
Maj. Eleven 18
Cpt. Murderbot 18
Cpt. Feriluce 15
Cpt. Fuego 14
Cpt. Galore 12 (KIA)
Lt. Fisk 11 (KIA)
Lt. Macky 9
Lt. Alagant 9
Lt. Pugilation 8 (KIA)
Sgt. Scherbchen 8
Sgt. Thirteen 7
Lt. Sim 6
Sgt. Kathulu 6
Sgt. Crawfish 5
Sgt. Escutcheon 5
Sgt. Vulgarity 4
Cpl. Fearghaill 4
Cpl. Aya 4 (KIA)
Sq. Mullet 4 (KIA)
Sq. Bogey 3 (KIA)
Sq. Gatz 2 (KIA)
GOLIATH-1 2
Cpl. Nickety 1
Sq. Sticks 0 (KIA)
Sq. Blythe 6th 0 (KIA)
Rk. Lobo 0 (KIA)
Rk. Fatt 0 (KIA)
also, i do believe you are the boss, smof!
also! I owe Fuzzbutt some vodka from my secret stash. Jing just gets water.
Like, that spiky haired guy when he's doing the glowy thing and looks constipated, the kind with schoolgirls and tentacles, or the kind with Tetsuo mutating into a giant fetus before bonding with the nature of evolution?
Because all I felt was a mild buzz.
Why I fear the ocean.
Based on the narration, I think that works just as well.
You know what I think we grabbed?
Genuine command element. They didn't want us to even see the ship, and everything in the crew but that asshole was pure military. And we brought their charge in alive.
Considering everything else we brought in sings like a bird after a few hours in the cells, I think we might actually get an idea why the hell we're in this shit and where to shove an alloy cannon.
And we got some decent tech from the rubble too. Don't know what the glowy orb is, but if years of bad science fiction have taught me anything, it's that glowy orbs are the key to all advanced technology. And if months of being around here mean much, it's that anything making psis act even more psychotic than their standard has to be the good stuff.
I'm not saying the war's won, but I think it's about time we consider what the plan is when this all ends.
I'm not saying "lock up the psychics", but...
Why I fear the ocean.
Hey, orbs are also significant in Guardians of the Galaxy AND Brisco County Jr.
And anyone maligning the career of Mr. Bruce Lorne Campbell, well, we will have a discussion.
Why I fear the ocean.
Why I fear the ocean.
Let's put aside our argument, no matter how wrong you are, and focus on what brings us together.
Namely, how Hudsucker Proxy is way, way better than Crimewave.
Why I fear the ocean.
The team get back to base with the shiniest bit of loot ever. It seems to be one of those stoner lamps which make lightning when you put your hands on it? I would not be surprised if the aliens are all potheads, the lighting in their ships is kind of a giveaway.
Yeah, I agree with that look Dr. Shen. Vahlen's science-boner for this stuff worries me a bit, too.
Apparently the aliens really didn't like us stealing their lamp though, because a muthafugging huge ship materialises in orbit and triggers a bunch of seismic events across the globe. Which is interesting.
Dr. Vahlen's probably thinking "god I wish I had the technology to make earthquakes happen." I bet she's going to tell me to capture that ship so she can learn how to make her own earthquakes.
Once everyone calms down I decide to send another batch of soldiers down for mind-probing.
Sim and Murderbot are chosen for having impressively high Will. Rankenphile is chosen just because I thought it would be hilarious if she turned out to have psionics.
The science team set to studying the weird lamp, and in the meantime they also interrogate the captured ethereal. The first thing we discover about them is they have four arms, which is pretty cool! You would have thought with four arms they would carry at least one gun though. I thought these guys were meant to be smart.
It puts up a bit of a fight against being interrogated so we don't learn a lot, apparently. Let's see how resistant it is to slicing and dicing.
Not very! We can now manufacture 'mind shields' which I guess are like really expensive tinfoil hats, for keeping the aliens and/or government spies out of your head. Shortly after this research was announced, a petition arrived on the commander's desk requesting that one be commissioned for Col. Rankenphile as soon as possible, signed by every other active soldier.
A few days later the science team finish investigating the stoner lamp. They admit they are basically making things up because it's all some wacky shit, man, but they seem to think we could use this technology to do some kind of psionic inception to the aliens. Which sounds pretty crazy and dangerous, so let's do it.
We got a fair bit of elerium from that last mission so I do a bunch more research I was putting off before. Plasma pistols, so our snipers can stop using lasers as their secondaries, and psi armour because I think Label would like some. I also build another Heavy Plasma so we have enough for all our heavies.
End of the month, and the council report rolls in. These guys are starting to get on my nerves. So critical!
Well they'll change their tune once our soldiers get out of psi-testing and we have a more impressive number of brain-wizard super troops...
...oh. Okay. I guess we'll just stick with Floosevelt and Label, then. I mean it's not like only having two psionics in our entire project is super risky or anything.
But enough of that. Because aliens!
also inspiration, please!
now if you'll excuse me commander I'll be in my bunk googling "things an anime yell"
Also, I'm amazed at how not-shot I still am.
I'm not complaining, mind. Just feeling like Darrell Powers here.
...Which means I'll break an arm or something in a Skyranger crash when this is all settled.
Why I fear the ocean.
Lemme addem, lemme addem
Maybe I should have let Dr Vahlen put those "additives" in the base's water supply after all.