Posted in my group chat recently (Avengers Endgame stuff):
My friend Alli: "Me: (Hahnsoo1) I have a non-spoiler question about End Game.
(Hahnsoo1): Yes Thor takes his shirt off.
I like that you know me so well, Hahns."
She still hasn't seen it yet. She mostly watches Marvel movies to see Chris Hemsworth's abs.
In recent weeks, three key members of Anthem's lead development team have departed from work on the project, including Executive Producer Mark Darrah, Lead Producer Michael Gamble, and Lead Director Jonathan Warner, with only the latter intending to return to the game following a personal sabbatical.
According to a recent tweet from Gamble, the reason for this behind the scenes reshuffle seems to be Dragon Age shaped, as BioWare places the majority of its focus on getting Dragon Age 4 our of the door, following several reported reboots of the RPG sequel.
Dragon Age 4, meanwhile, is reportedly another crack at a live-service game from BioWare, with online elements that would pivot the RPG series from its single-player roots.
re the emotional labor convo. Most of the stuff I see commonly cited (cards, anniversary calls etc) I regard as relatively unimportant. The stuff that I do think is important (genuinely checking in on friends, actively maintaining friendships etc) I really do not notice the women in my life doing more often than the men.
I think the one thing that women tend to learn to do better than men is talking frankly about their emotions.
I mean I talk about that shit all the time in chat but I still have a very difficult time talking about it in person.
re the emotional labor convo. Most of the stuff I see commonly cited (cards, anniversary calls etc) I regard as relatively unimportant. The stuff that I do think is important (genuinely checking in on friends, actively maintaining friendships etc) I really do not notice the women in my life doing more often than the men.
Interesting, I see women do this much more than men
My male friends are pretty progressive but they don't take those extra steps
re the emotional labor convo. Most of the stuff I see commonly cited (cards, anniversary calls etc) I regard as relatively unimportant. The stuff that I do think is important (genuinely checking in on friends, actively maintaining friendships etc) I really do not notice the women in my life doing more often than the men.
It is a STARK comparison in my particular case, but I have a particularly supportive friend group with particularly supportive women. The men in it are all clueless (with the exception of a gay man) and are really bad at supporting people unless they bandwagon onto another person being supportive.
Emotional labor also includes making sure everyone can eat something at a restaurant that we collectively decide to go to. In a household, it's making sure all the chores get done, and all the kids are put to bed, and maintaining the schedule calendar so you don't miss important birthdays or parties or social events, because emotional labor INCLUDES making sure that everyone in the community group is being taken care of, for the now and for the future.
There's a huge amount of "running the household" shit that men were socialized not to do, and it's reinforced a lot in the media. I remember seeing a laundry detergent commercial recently where the wife on a ranch is talking about "my boys are bad at getting their clothes dirty!" and I'm like "FUCK YOU, commercial, the boys should be doing their own fucking laundry! Assholes!"
Hahnsoo1 on
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HonkHonk is this poster.Registered User, __BANNED USERSregular
I'm back in business, the 1.0 version was available in a beta branch.
But FUCK one of the minor states I was trying to be friends with against a common enemy was conquered by the vassal of that common enemy. Now the vassal is twice as large as their parent state.
re the emotional labor convo. Most of the stuff I see commonly cited (cards, anniversary calls etc) I regard as relatively unimportant. The stuff that I do think is important (genuinely checking in on friends, actively maintaining friendships etc) I really do not notice the women in my life doing more often than the men.
It is a STARK comparison in my particular case, but I have a particularly supportive friend group with particularly supportive women. The men in it are all clueless (with the exception of a gay man) and are really bad at supporting people unless they bandwagon onto another person being supportive.
Emotional labor also includes making sure everyone can eat something at a restaurant that we collectively decide to go to. In a household, it's making sure all the chores get done, and all the kids are put to bed, and maintaining the schedule calendar so you don't miss important birthdays or parties or social events. There's a huge amount of "running the household" shit that men were socialized not to do, and it's reinforced a lot in the media. I remember seeing a laundry detergent commercial recently where the wife on a ranch is talking about "my boys are bad at getting their clothes dirty!" and I'm like "FUCK YOU, commercial, the boys should be doing their own fucking laundry! Assholes!"
I can’t speak to the family stuff but with the other examples posted yeah I have not observed that correlation at all
Actually my apartment is special in that every room is a shame chamber
Shamebathroom, Shamekitchen, Shamebedroom, etc.
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TL DRNot at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered Userregular
Feral just strolling into the living room, spattered in blood and unidentifiable ejaculates, throws a towel down considerately before flopping onto the couch, grabbing a pizza roll, and commenting that he loves this episode of whatever show is on to the general agreement of the housemates
Feral just strolling into the living room, spattered in blood and unidentifiable ejaculates, throws a towel down considerately before flopping onto the couch, grabbing a pizza roll, and commenting that he loves this episode of whatever show is on to the general agreement of the housemates
Feral just strolling into the living room, spattered in blood and unidentifiable ejaculates, throws a towel down considerately before flopping onto the couch, grabbing a pizza roll, and commenting that he loves this episode of whatever show is on to the general agreement of the housemates
His back just littered with Doodmann-style slugs of greyish earwax
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TL DRNot at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered Userregular
Feral just strolling into the living room, spattered in blood and unidentifiable ejaculates, throws a towel down considerately before flopping onto the couch, grabbing a pizza roll, and commenting that he loves this episode of whatever show is on to the general agreement of the housemates
His back just littered with Doodmann-style slugs of greyish earwax
i feel like i'm missing important context here
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VariableMouth CongressStroke Me Lady FameRegistered Userregular
Feral just strolling into the living room, spattered in blood and unidentifiable ejaculates, throws a towel down considerately before flopping onto the couch, grabbing a pizza roll, and commenting that he loves this episode of whatever show is on to the general agreement of the housemates
this really doesn't seem that much different than the chat thread
Powerpuppiesdrinking coffee in themountain cabinRegistered Userregular
There is a lot of emotional labor between some male friends and me. Then zero between others. I don't have any female friends where it's zero between us, but I don't have as many female friends.
Definitely stuff I would regard as normal with a guy friend I hesitate to do with a lady friend if I'm not seeking romance
re the emotional labor convo. Most of the stuff I see commonly cited (cards, anniversary calls etc) I regard as relatively unimportant. The stuff that I do think is important (genuinely checking in on friends, actively maintaining friendships etc) I really do not notice the women in my life doing more often than the men.
Obviously the only place where you should be washing sex fluids off your body is in the shame chamber.
Everyone has a shame chamber.
no this is why you have communal tongue baths
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BrodyThe WatchThe First ShoreRegistered Userregular
A lot of times me talking about my feelings ends up requiring so much forethought to get to the point that I feel I can share it, it ends up coming out sounding like a well prepared debate opening, and shuts down the conversation.
"I will write your name in the ruin of them. I will paint you across history in the color of their blood."
re the emotional labor convo. Most of the stuff I see commonly cited (cards, anniversary calls etc) I regard as relatively unimportant. The stuff that I do think is important (genuinely checking in on friends, actively maintaining friendships etc) I really do not notice the women in my life doing more often than the men.
Isn't this, like
part of the point
This seems like begging the question. Not all women value cards and canned anniversary calls as emotionally portentous, so if it makes the conversation easier then pretend I’m one of those women.
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Powerpuppiesdrinking coffee in themountain cabinRegistered Userregular
re the emotional labor convo. Most of the stuff I see commonly cited (cards, anniversary calls etc) I regard as relatively unimportant. The stuff that I do think is important (genuinely checking in on friends, actively maintaining friendships etc) I really do not notice the women in my life doing more often than the men.
Isn't this, like
part of the point
the point is that people expect women to do emotional labor but don't expect guys to do it
you can fix either end of the disparity
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Powerpuppiesdrinking coffee in themountain cabinRegistered Userregular
i had this conversation recently with another single bro, just walking around a neighborhood waiting for an event to start
re the emotional labor convo. Most of the stuff I see commonly cited (cards, anniversary calls etc) I regard as relatively unimportant. The stuff that I do think is important (genuinely checking in on friends, actively maintaining friendships etc) I really do not notice the women in my life doing more often than the men.
Isn't this, like
part of the point
"Men don't do X at all, leaving women to do all of it"
does not necessarily mean that the correct answer is to keep doing the same aggregate amount of X while just splitting it evenly.
When a woman is struggling to keep up with an unsustainable amount of emotional labor, sometimes one part of the answer really is to just let a few things slide. It doesn't mean we need to let everything slide.
every person who doesn't like an acquired taste always seems to think everyone who likes it is faking it. it should be an official fallacy.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
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Donkey KongPutting Nintendo out of business with AI nipsRegistered Userregular
re the emotional labor convo. Most of the stuff I see commonly cited (cards, anniversary calls etc) I regard as relatively unimportant. The stuff that I do think is important (genuinely checking in on friends, actively maintaining friendships etc) I really do not notice the women in my life doing more often than the men.
Isn't this, like
part of the point
This seems like begging the question. Not all women value cards and canned anniversary calls as emotionally portentous, so if it makes the conversation easier then pretend I’m one of those women.
I agree, there's a lot of emotional labor make-work. But there are other things like remembering birthdays, tracking obligations, setting up parties and events, remembering to generally keep friendships alive, maintaining an address book, remembering major holidays, asking "can I bring something" when invited somewhere...
All this kind of stuff is emotional labor and falls generally to the woman in a relationship. Or in a gay relationship one person tends to pick it up more than the other.
Thousands of hot, local singles are waiting to play at bubbulon.com.
I don't remember the last time I called my dad. Granted he lives a little over a mile away. But also between Christmas and Easter, I hadn't seen him at all. That's just how we are. I don't think either of us are particularly hurt by this.
Go visit your Dad on Father's Day.
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Powerpuppiesdrinking coffee in themountain cabinRegistered Userregular
i had a guy friend express to me after he went to a guy's funeral that the deceased seemed to be astonishingly present in other people's lives and he was going to try to improve that about himself
v thought-provoking
of course given that average time from desk to mailbox for me and my friends is > 5 days, i'm not sure i will follow the specific example of mailing starbucks gift cards to college-age nieces so that it arrives the morning of a big exam
re the emotional labor convo. Most of the stuff I see commonly cited (cards, anniversary calls etc) I regard as relatively unimportant. The stuff that I do think is important (genuinely checking in on friends, actively maintaining friendships etc) I really do not notice the women in my life doing more often than the men.
Isn't this, like
part of the point
This seems like begging the question. Not all women value cards and canned anniversary calls as emotionally portentous, so if it makes the conversation easier then pretend I’m one of those women.
I agree, there's a lot of emotional labor make-work. But there are other things like remembering birthdays, tracking obligations, setting up parties and events, remembering to generally keep friendships alive, maintaining an address book, remembering major holidays, asking "can I bring something" when invited somewhere...
All this kind of stuff is emotional labor and falls generally to the woman in a relationship. Or in a gay relationship one person tends to pick it up more than the other.
I agree with most of this. I’m not looking to dispute that there is a gender disparity in how we’re conditioned to apportion certain social tasks. My primary point was the larger, more substantive, less administrative ones- things like maintaining a friendship or making sure friends are ok- do not track so neatly. In my experience, of course.
Organichu on
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TL DRNot at all confident in his reflexive opinions of thingsRegistered Userregular
I prefer to sit to pee but depending on the toilet I'll end up leaning forward too much while posting and getting my willy wet, which seems like something silicon valley ought to have solved by now
Posts
(Hahnsoo1): Yes Thor takes his shirt off.
I like that you know me so well, Hahns."
She still hasn't seen it yet. She mostly watches Marvel movies to see Chris Hemsworth's abs.
Oh boy oh boy oh boy.
You just gotta have a good charter
I think the one thing that women tend to learn to do better than men is talking frankly about their emotions.
I mean I talk about that shit all the time in chat but I still have a very difficult time talking about it in person.
Interesting, I see women do this much more than men
My male friends are pretty progressive but they don't take those extra steps
Emotional labor also includes making sure everyone can eat something at a restaurant that we collectively decide to go to. In a household, it's making sure all the chores get done, and all the kids are put to bed, and maintaining the schedule calendar so you don't miss important birthdays or parties or social events, because emotional labor INCLUDES making sure that everyone in the community group is being taken care of, for the now and for the future.
There's a huge amount of "running the household" shit that men were socialized not to do, and it's reinforced a lot in the media. I remember seeing a laundry detergent commercial recently where the wife on a ranch is talking about "my boys are bad at getting their clothes dirty!" and I'm like "FUCK YOU, commercial, the boys should be doing their own fucking laundry! Assholes!"
But FUCK one of the minor states I was trying to be friends with against a common enemy was conquered by the vassal of that common enemy. Now the vassal is twice as large as their parent state.
Someone gon get kilt soon.
I can’t speak to the family stuff but with the other examples posted yeah I have not observed that correlation at all
pleasepaypreacher.net
Our house does not have a side door.
Currently DMing: None
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[5e] Dural Melairkyn - AC 18 | HP 40 | Melee +5/1d8+3 | Spell +4/DC 12
Looks like he just walked out of Carry
His back just littered with Doodmann-style slugs of greyish earwax
i feel like i'm missing important context here
this really doesn't seem that much different than the chat thread
maybe the smell
Definitely stuff I would regard as normal with a guy friend I hesitate to do with a lady friend if I'm not seeking romance
Because man do I have some opinions about that
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I would like to continue talking about it! Would be interested in your thoughts
Often the thought doesn't even occur
Are you 85% of my ex girlfriends
Isn't this, like
part of the point
Well, you are what you eat
I think I'm 99% sure where they delivered it, but nobody's home, so I'll walk by later and ask.
Currently DMing: None
Characters
[5e] Dural Melairkyn - AC 18 | HP 40 | Melee +5/1d8+3 | Spell +4/DC 12
Aiming for the giant collection bowl of the urinal: pee stream splits in half and manages to miss completely despite direct aiming at close proximity
Sitting down and peeing: pee stream somehow finds the crack between seat and bowl and goes directly into pants
no this is why you have communal tongue baths
The Monster Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson
Steam: Korvalain
This seems like begging the question. Not all women value cards and canned anniversary calls as emotionally portentous, so if it makes the conversation easier then pretend I’m one of those women.
the point is that people expect women to do emotional labor but don't expect guys to do it
you can fix either end of the disparity
"Men don't do X at all, leaving women to do all of it"
does not necessarily mean that the correct answer is to keep doing the same aggregate amount of X while just splitting it evenly.
When a woman is struggling to keep up with an unsustainable amount of emotional labor, sometimes one part of the answer really is to just let a few things slide. It doesn't mean we need to let everything slide.
the "no true scotch man" fallacy.
I agree, there's a lot of emotional labor make-work. But there are other things like remembering birthdays, tracking obligations, setting up parties and events, remembering to generally keep friendships alive, maintaining an address book, remembering major holidays, asking "can I bring something" when invited somewhere...
All this kind of stuff is emotional labor and falls generally to the woman in a relationship. Or in a gay relationship one person tends to pick it up more than the other.
Go visit your Dad on Father's Day.
v thought-provoking
of course given that average time from desk to mailbox for me and my friends is > 5 days, i'm not sure i will follow the specific example of mailing starbucks gift cards to college-age nieces so that it arrives the morning of a big exam
I agree with most of this. I’m not looking to dispute that there is a gender disparity in how we’re conditioned to apportion certain social tasks. My primary point was the larger, more substantive, less administrative ones- things like maintaining a friendship or making sure friends are ok- do not track so neatly. In my experience, of course.
Yeah I'm not cooking a fucking casserole or cookies for a god damned get together because you want to hang out