A regular part of my job is budget transfers. This is moving funds within our ERP between different parts of an incredibly dysfunctional large organization for various services.
I frequently do transfers of tens of thousands of dollars, uncommon but still frequent it's in the hundreds of thousands if not millions. There are a large set of rules regarding how funds can be moved, including determining the purpose of the funds, etc. I often have transfers under $100 because some services (like background checks) are done centrally so offices/departments pay for the work by doing a transfer.
What did I get today? A transfer for one singlefucking dollar.
What was it for, you ask? "Coffee reimbursement"
Guess what isn't allowed by the god damn rules that govern how funds can be spent.
Guess who had to deal with at least 15 emails in which I copy-pasted said rules from the government code, more than once, as explanation.
Fucking jesus christ.
That is awesome... Oh wait, ok I'm sorry you had so much trouble.
(Seriously, why am I getting so much delight out of this story?)
I'm sure I've told the microwave story here but this one gives it a run for its money.
I once had to fight a finance person in a chain of 12 emails that got escalated to management twice about a missing toll receipt for 75 cents. After that I took every opportunity to point out how useless they were.
I'm guessing by writing the first email they'd already spent more company resources than they were saving. Certainly by the time somebody read it.
The Accountants!
Even looking at the invoice in the first place it was all wasted. One of my favorite corporate moments was being called into a big meeting around a $1500 discrepancy and people making a hubbub about how it can't happen (it was a systems timing glitch that was a "once in forever" type scenario). I had my laptop, so I did some quick math based on the people in the room, then raised my hand and said "just so everyone knows, we've already identified some potential fixes and this meeting alone is costing roughly $28,000, so can we just move this to email?" There was silence and the meeting broke up 5 minutes later.
About 12 years ago, I was asked by our Sourcing manager if I could help come up with any alternate sources for a part we were sole sourced on. We only had one source because the supplier owned the proprietary coating process that we had just jointly spent about $3m and 4 years of development time to come up with. I asked why, and the manager told me because they couldn't make them fast enough. To be clear, we used up this type of part at about 1-2 per day, and this specific part about once per week. There was no reason to run this supplier out of capacity.
So I dug into sourcing and demand side, and found out that our supplier had been incorrectly set as our sister plant in Europe. And our sister plant in Europe had set our other sister plant in China as their supplier. The China facility, at least, realized this part had to come from the US, so bought it from us.
So each night, MRP would process at each site. Demand for one from our plant would trigger demand for one from Europe, which would trigger demand for one from China, which would place a new PO on us. So next night, MRP runs in the US, sees demand for 2 with an open PO for 1 created yesterday. So the system would cancel the open PO because it was less than 48 hours old and issue a replacement PO with updated quantity. So now Europe needs 2...
I discovered all this because our current demand was sitting at 256 pieces for our sister site. At a cost of $2k a pop. But instead of asking, "Why are we seeing 5 years worth of demand at once?" all that was asked was "How do I confirm this sales order?"
We need a reaction button for this sort of thing, a "to err is human" kind of thing...
Or... and hear me out on this one: You could just react to it without a button!
Yeah, but then I'd have to write a whole paragraph...
Also, this kind of human error shit comes up a lot. I mean, a whole goddamn lot. If I could just press a "that's rough, buddy" button, I'd have half the posts I currently have. And Tube knows I post too much.
I once spent 3/4s of a day manually making 1¢ adjustments to multiple individual charges on a international travel claim because the exchange rate they charged me had more significant digits than what our system would let me input. I think the total discrepancy was less than $30 but I couldn't just put it on one charge because it'd get rejected for being too far off the receipt.
I'm giving a talk to a bunch of students in 14 hours and I have not sorted out what I'm going to say. I'm not even sure how long I'm supposed to be talking for.
If it wasn't over zoom I'd probably just wing it, see what fell out. That's always a lot more awkward in a digital setting though.
I'm giving a talk to a bunch of students in 14 hours and I have not sorted out what I'm going to say. I'm not even sure how long I'm supposed to be talking for.
If it wasn't over zoom I'd probably just wing it, see what fell out. That's always a lot more awkward in a digital setting though.
Is that enough time for you to memorize the retro encabulator bit?
Every time an employee pays out of pocket for something vital to their job because the reimbursement process is too intolerable, the business office gets a pair of vile leathery wings.
I have had to buy gloves and blades for the box cutter at work and I don't get repayed for that
But when a few years ago I bought a phone card after work because it would not "ring up" the casher ended up ringing it 4 times so I had to pay a bill of nearly $300
Getting the 240 back was just a weird thing as I had to show the receipt then get a copy of my bank statement to show it really charged and then they looked it up on the cameras before they just gave me the cash
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minor incidentexpert in a dying fieldnjRegistered Userregular
Every time an employee pays out of pocket for something vital to their job because the reimbursement process is too intolerable, the business office gets a pair of vile leathery wings.
I have had to buy gloves and blades for the box cutter at work and I don't get repayed for that
Man, fuck your bosses and fuck that company.
Ah, it stinks, it sucks, it's anthropologically unjust
I'm giving a talk to a bunch of students in 14 hours and I have not sorted out what I'm going to say. I'm not even sure how long I'm supposed to be talking for.
If it wasn't over zoom I'd probably just wing it, see what fell out. That's always a lot more awkward in a digital setting though.
Is that enough time for you to memorize the retro encabulator bit?
Oh hmm possibly
I think I could also take a stab at the conference speech from Patriot.
I'm giving a talk to a bunch of students in 14 hours and I have not sorted out what I'm going to say. I'm not even sure how long I'm supposed to be talking for.
If it wasn't over zoom I'd probably just wing it, see what fell out. That's always a lot more awkward in a digital setting though.
Show them the 7 red lines video and ask them which person in the video they'd like to be.
He also told me that I was fuckin' crazy and to go the fuck home when I said I'd stay a little later to help clean up after my shift on account of being an eager bushy-tailed teen.
Do they also “lovingly” refer to him as “that motherfucker, that absolute pile of ambulatory dogshit, may he die hurling himself from the nearest 20 story building and shit himself on the way down”?
Do they also “lovingly” refer to him as “that motherfucker, that absolute pile of ambulatory dogshit, may he die hurling himself from the nearest 20 story building and shit himself on the way down”?
I think they wrote that on his birthday card this year.
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CambiataCommander ShepardThe likes of which even GAWD has never seenRegistered Userregular
Billionaire CEO's employees "lovingly" nickname him 'The Machine That Runs On Hate', 'Satan Incarnate' and 'Uncleanable Shitstain.'
"If you divide the whole world into just enemies and friends, you'll end up destroying everything" --Nausicaa of the Valley of Wind
Okay, I know this isn't strickly relevant, but what is it with really rich dudes having really dumb haircuts? What is that haircut?
It's what happens when someone becomes rich enough to start huffing their own farts to the point that they force out anyone around them who is willing to tell them "no" .
A regular part of my job is budget transfers. This is moving funds within our ERP between different parts of an incredibly dysfunctional large organization for various services.
I frequently do transfers of tens of thousands of dollars, uncommon but still frequent it's in the hundreds of thousands if not millions. There are a large set of rules regarding how funds can be moved, including determining the purpose of the funds, etc. I often have transfers under $100 because some services (like background checks) are done centrally so offices/departments pay for the work by doing a transfer.
What did I get today? A transfer for one singlefucking dollar.
What was it for, you ask? "Coffee reimbursement"
Guess what isn't allowed by the god damn rules that govern how funds can be spent.
Guess who had to deal with at least 15 emails in which I copy-pasted said rules from the government code, more than once, as explanation.
Fucking jesus christ.
That is awesome... Oh wait, ok I'm sorry you had so much trouble.
(Seriously, why am I getting so much delight out of this story?)
I'm sure I've told the microwave story here but this one gives it a run for its money.
I once had to fight a finance person in a chain of 12 emails that got escalated to management twice about a missing toll receipt for 75 cents. After that I took every opportunity to point out how useless they were.
I'm guessing by writing the first email they'd already spent more company resources than they were saving. Certainly by the time somebody read it.
The Accountants!
Even looking at the invoice in the first place it was all wasted. One of my favorite corporate moments was being called into a big meeting around a $1500 discrepancy and people making a hubbub about how it can't happen (it was a systems timing glitch that was a "once in forever" type scenario). I had my laptop, so I did some quick math based on the people in the room, then raised my hand and said "just so everyone knows, we've already identified some potential fixes and this meeting alone is costing roughly $28,000, so can we just move this to email?" There was silence and the meeting broke up 5 minutes later.
About 12 years ago, I was asked by our Sourcing manager if I could help come up with any alternate sources for a part we were sole sourced on. We only had one source because the supplier owned the proprietary coating process that we had just jointly spent about $3m and 4 years of development time to come up with. I asked why, and the manager told me because they couldn't make them fast enough. To be clear, we used up this type of part at about 1-2 per day, and this specific part about once per week. There was no reason to run this supplier out of capacity.
So I dug into sourcing and demand side, and found out that our supplier had been incorrectly set as our sister plant in Europe. And our sister plant in Europe had set our other sister plant in China as their supplier. The China facility, at least, realized this part had to come from the US, so bought it from us.
So each night, MRP would process at each site. Demand for one from our plant would trigger demand for one from Europe, which would trigger demand for one from China, which would place a new PO on us. So next night, MRP runs in the US, sees demand for 2 with an open PO for 1 created yesterday. So the system would cancel the open PO because it was less than 48 hours old and issue a replacement PO with updated quantity. So now Europe needs 2...
I discovered all this because our current demand was sitting at 256 pieces for our sister site. At a cost of $2k a pop. But instead of asking, "Why are we seeing 5 years worth of demand at once?" all that was asked was "How do I confirm this sales order?"
Saw this on twitter and it felt very much like a work story from @Zonugal
"Today, when introducing WWI, a student raised her hand and brought up the death of a certain archduke. Nobody knew his name, so as a hint, I offered that he shares his name with a band.
Gentle reader, my students asked if there had perhaps been an Archduke Metallica."
I'm such a fucking nerd that I googled "Franz Ferdinand Band" because I know who the Archduke is, but had no idea there was a band named after him.
I scored a point in a quiz game this way once, easiest culture point in trivial pursuit I've gotten.
I’m someone who has seen Franz Ferdinand live (the band, not the archduke), own several of their albums and even had one of their band shirts.
There’s no way a kid will know who they are.
I only know about them because of Guitar Hero, because their song was the gateway drug for me to realizing how much fun it was. I even bought their album afterwards!
Okay, I know this isn't strickly relevant, but what is it with really rich dudes having really dumb haircuts? What is that haircut?
It is an incredibly immaculately crafted public image that just happens to use the cheapest barbers possible.
That said, if he likes it, no worries from me. Far worse things about him.
Oh I definitely agree, it's just such a weird thing to me.
It's particularly weird to me because oh man if I could afford to spend an hour every other week or so just shooting the shit and then after walk out all coiffed up. Man that is such a luxury to me. That's literally right next to a tailored suit for me.
I’m someone who has seen Franz Ferdinand live (the band, not the archduke), own several of their albums and even had one of their band shirts.
There’s no way a kid will know who they are.
I only know about them because of Guitar Hero, because their song was the gateway drug for me to realizing how much fun it was. I even bought their album afterwards!
Was fun to watch my friends get really thrown by the rhythm change in it. Most rock/pop songs don't do that, and the few that do try to hide it. Take Me Out just leans hard into 'yeah this one part works at this speed but this next part doesn't so we're just going to make it really obvious we're switching'.
Based on the conversation in the last thread, I didn't see anyone post that they have a job in finance in some capacity. I would be curious of people's perspectives (feel free to DM if you don't want to publicly post about it) if anyone else here has a similar finance/analyst role (I'm seeing more "financial operations" roles when I look around).
I can share mine, though I've made some decisions that have put me behind my peers even within the same company.
Masters of Accounting, have worked as a Financial Analyst for the same company for 15 years, recruited straight out of college.
Started at $49K out of college with no experience.
Currently at $94K - and currently capped in my role, so my manager has been working in other ways to compensate me like extra vacation days.
I've never been in a role with direct reports, and am full-time work from home - with some travel.
At my company jobs all have published levels with salary ranges, so the way to move up fast is to switch jobs every 3 years or so and break into managerial roles. Some people get flagged and fast tracked.
I made a decision to stay with my company and move to Phoenix where my husband was taking a job, but the only role available for me here was at a lower pay level (they didn't lower my salary, but I did get capped).
I could always jump ship to a different company. Or take another role with my current company and move where that takes me .. but for now I'm chilling and happy here. We were able to buy a house right before COVID, and house prices in my neighborhood are so crazy now. I wouldn't be able to afford to live here if house-hunting present day.
Switch Animal Crossing Friend Code: SW-5107-9276-1030
Island Name: Felinefine
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ShadowfireVermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered Userregular
Every time an employee pays out of pocket for something vital to their job because the reimbursement process is too intolerable, the business office gets a pair of vile leathery wings.
I have had to buy gloves and blades for the box cutter at work and I don't get repayed for that
Man, fuck your bosses and fuck that company.
Once again, malicious compliance. Take all the blades out of the box cutters and stick them in the sharps containers (which you better have, or else please call OSHA they're required), then tell the bosses you can't work because you don't have blades.
When I worked at a grocery store I got scolded by my union rep for buying my own box cutter and blades.
Genuine question, what grocery store did you work at that was unionized?
A lot of grocery stores have their own union they made up so they don't really protect you much and are great propaganda against unions that employees will spread themselves. I worked at Meijer that had a union and all it guaranteed was we'd get minimum wage and would get a lunch and breaks depending on how long we worked. It also let the company keep us as late as we were needed if other coworkers called out.
When I worked at a grocery store I got scolded by my union rep for buying my own box cutter and blades.
Genuine question, what grocery store did you work at that was unionized?
A lot of grocery stores have their own union they made up so they don't really protect you much and are great propaganda against unions that employees will spread themselves. I worked at Meijer that had a union and all it guaranteed was we'd get minimum wage and would get a lunch and breaks depending on how long we worked. It also let the company keep us as late as we were needed if other coworkers called out.
I have a lot of PTO banked. 6.2 weeks of it to be precise (which, by the way - don't do that. Use it and save yourselves)
Now, it's kinda nice that I have that sitting there because I was just asked by a couple I'm friends with to help sail their boat across the Atlantic. Holy shit holy shit holy shit.
I've gotta check in with the boss on if it's going to be alright to burn 3+ weeks of PTO in one swing, but I don't see why it wouldn't be.
I have a lot of PTO banked. 6.2 weeks of it to be precise (which, by the way - don't do that. Use it and save yourselves)
Now, it's kinda nice that I have that sitting there because I was just asked by a couple I'm friends with to help sail their boat across the Atlantic. Holy shit holy shit holy shit.
I've gotta check in with the boss on if it's going to be alright to burn 3+ weeks of PTO in one swing, but I don't see why it wouldn't be.
FINGERS CROSSED FOR ME, GANG.
That sounds fuckin' awesome
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Goose!That's me, honeyShow me the way home, honeyRegistered Userregular
Archduke Death Cab for Cutie
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
So many people in my company are working in or fleeing various places involved in the Russo-Ukraine war and it's just rough to have a little morning get together call and not be like "hey fuck our stupid product that no one cares about how can we all help stem the tide of horrors? Anyone need help getting the fuck out of anywhere?"
It's ridiculous that there are so many structures in place to make sure this absolutely asinine work continues to occupy the days of so many people.
AthenorBattle Hardened OptimistThe Skies of HiigaraRegistered Userregular
No offense to this consultant, but everything about her cadence and method of talking makes me want to fall asleep, and the zoom call having absolutely nothing but faces to focus on does not help.
Posts
Yeah, but then I'd have to write a whole paragraph...
Also, this kind of human error shit comes up a lot. I mean, a whole goddamn lot. If I could just press a "that's rough, buddy" button, I'd have half the posts I currently have. And Tube knows I post too much.
If it wasn't over zoom I'd probably just wing it, see what fell out. That's always a lot more awkward in a digital setting though.
Is that enough time for you to memorize the retro encabulator bit?
I have had to buy gloves and blades for the box cutter at work and I don't get repayed for that
But when a few years ago I bought a phone card after work because it would not "ring up" the casher ended up ringing it 4 times so I had to pay a bill of nearly $300
Getting the 240 back was just a weird thing as I had to show the receipt then get a copy of my bank statement to show it really charged and then they looked it up on the cameras before they just gave me the cash
Man, fuck your bosses and fuck that company.
Oh hmm possibly
I think I could also take a stab at the conference speech from Patriot.
Show them the 7 red lines video and ask them which person in the video they'd like to be.
Pretty good rep, I guess.
--
in other news
https://consequence.net/2022/04/mark-zuckerberg-eye-of-sauron/
Just like Disney artists used to call the place Mauschwitz. Because they loved working there!
I think they wrote that on his birthday card this year.
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It is an incredibly immaculately crafted public image that just happens to use the cheapest barbers possible.
That said, if he likes it, no worries from me. Far worse things about him.
Oh I definitely agree, it's just such a weird thing to me.
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Also, this article is the most depressingly cyberpunk thing ever: https://www.businessinsider.com/3-d-printed-exhibition-reimagines-bezos-musk-and-zuckerberg-as-mythological-figures-2019-4
It's what happens when someone becomes rich enough to start huffing their own farts to the point that they force out anyone around them who is willing to tell them "no" .
I scored a point in a quiz game this way once, easiest culture point in trivial pursuit I've gotten.
LoL EU West nickname: Irridan
There’s no way a kid will know who they are.
Satans..... hints.....
I only know about them because of Guitar Hero, because their song was the gateway drug for me to realizing how much fun it was. I even bought their album afterwards!
It's particularly weird to me because oh man if I could afford to spend an hour every other week or so just shooting the shit and then after walk out all coiffed up. Man that is such a luxury to me. That's literally right next to a tailored suit for me.
Next is personal driver.
I can share mine, though I've made some decisions that have put me behind my peers even within the same company.
Masters of Accounting, have worked as a Financial Analyst for the same company for 15 years, recruited straight out of college.
Currently at $94K - and currently capped in my role, so my manager has been working in other ways to compensate me like extra vacation days.
I've never been in a role with direct reports, and am full-time work from home - with some travel.
At my company jobs all have published levels with salary ranges, so the way to move up fast is to switch jobs every 3 years or so and break into managerial roles. Some people get flagged and fast tracked.
I made a decision to stay with my company and move to Phoenix where my husband was taking a job, but the only role available for me here was at a lower pay level (they didn't lower my salary, but I did get capped).
I could always jump ship to a different company. Or take another role with my current company and move where that takes me .. but for now I'm chilling and happy here. We were able to buy a house right before COVID, and house prices in my neighborhood are so crazy now. I wouldn't be able to afford to live here if house-hunting present day.
Island Name: Felinefine
Once again, malicious compliance. Take all the blades out of the box cutters and stick them in the sharps containers (which you better have, or else please call OSHA they're required), then tell the bosses you can't work because you don't have blades.
Also call OSHA about the gloves.
Also please unionize.
Genuine question, what grocery store did you work at that was unionized?
A lot of grocery stores have their own union they made up so they don't really protect you much and are great propaganda against unions that employees will spread themselves. I worked at Meijer that had a union and all it guaranteed was we'd get minimum wage and would get a lunch and breaks depending on how long we worked. It also let the company keep us as late as we were needed if other coworkers called out.
{Twitter, Everybody's doing it. }{Writing and Story Blog}
That's... generally illegal in the US iirc?
3DS: 0473-8507-2652
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PSN: AbEntropy
Now, it's kinda nice that I have that sitting there because I was just asked by a couple I'm friends with to help sail their boat across the Atlantic. Holy shit holy shit holy shit.
I've gotta check in with the boss on if it's going to be alright to burn 3+ weeks of PTO in one swing, but I don't see why it wouldn't be.
FINGERS CROSSED FOR ME, GANG.
That sounds fuckin' awesome
Does that really count as a haircut? Isn't it just really short hair?
It's ridiculous that there are so many structures in place to make sure this absolutely asinine work continues to occupy the days of so many people.
What about checks?