Get a text this morning that they actually want me to come into the office and attend the virtual orientation from there, which, sure, that's fine, would be good to meet everyone while sitting through the 6 hour long boring HR nonsense.
Make it in fine, meet everyone, get a desk and a temp laptop and settle in for indoc, which is about as boring as expected.
Cue sudden campus wide power outage, everything just goes fucking dark, no one knows what is happening. Everything is chaos, now I'm just kinda sitting around in the dark with my boss going "uh, yeah, sorry, this first day is kinda fucked?"
It's good to be back at work
+43
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Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
I need to trick kids into playing Quake III arena again so I can join their lan games from my office and absolutely destroy them.
"Who is this fucking Ghost who keeps appearing? I thought we locked this to school laptops only!"
.... Apologies, living vicariously through what I imagine a librarians life to be like.
Oh it is even better. I always told them to play with low level bots so that they could practice shooting them and each other, then I'd join with my name and dude looking like the bots but then go john wick on them.
After a while I'd hear them talk about teaming up against the bot and I'd switch my look and name to be one of them and then make it look like I was team killing and keep switching.
Get a text this morning that they actually want me to come into the office and attend the virtual orientation from there, which, sure, that's fine, would be good to meet everyone while sitting through the 6 hour long boring HR nonsense.
Make it in fine, meet everyone, get a desk and a temp laptop and settle in for indoc, which is about as boring as expected.
Cue sudden campus wide power outage, everything just goes fucking dark, no one knows what is happening. Everything is chaos, now I'm just kinda sitting around in the dark with my boss going "uh, yeah, sorry, this first day is kinda fucked?"
It's good to be back at work
My first day in the office at the new job we had to evacuate for a suspected gas leak. Definitely inspires confidence!
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ShadowfireVermont, in the middle of nowhereRegistered Userregular
"Can I get *hour of day* blocked on myself and *other installer's* boards so I can get this rental van back?"
*Crickets*
Repeat for over a week.
Email today: "When are you bringing the rental van back? Hertz is getting angry that it hasn't been returned."
Is hertz still in the questionable business of reporting rentals stolen or such?
Oh man I hope that happens. That'll be hilarious.
Also the whole deal is that Hertz is getting out of cargo van rentals, and they sold this van. While I was using it. Which sounds like a them problem, to me!
This company relations guy from Miro has emailed me four times asking if we can "talk about your use of Miro and your options going forward".
We have a Miro account for the lab but we're moving away from that platform and in any case I don't control the license or have anything to do with it. So I ignored his emails because they're a waste of my time and his.
but in his fourth email he said something like "i hope you can understand my professional persistence' (no, I cannot), and finally asked "... are you the right person to talk to?".
It was a tremendous relief to be able to reply "NO."
This company relations guy from Miro has emailed me four times asking if we can "talk about your use of Miro and your options going forward".
We have a Miro account for the lab but we're moving away from that platform and in any case I don't control the license or have anything to do with it. So I ignored his emails because they're a waste of my time and his.
but in his fourth email he said something like "i hope you can understand my professional persistence' (no, I cannot), and finally asked "... are you the right person to talk to?".
It was a tremendous relief to be able to reply "NO."
"That should have been literally your first question."
"Welcome back from your week of leave, how'd it go?"
"I was gonna take it easy but unexpectedly bought a house."
How
I mean, I know how I would explain that...
The current market here is ... chaotic. We'd had multiple offers rejected in favor of all-cash (read: investor) offers, so we'd gotten discouraged. When our offer for this house was accepted, it went from 0 to 100 very quickly, and we were not expecting to have ours accepted
"Welcome back from your week of leave, how'd it go?"
"I was gonna take it easy but unexpectedly bought a house."
How
I mean, I know how I would explain that...
The current market here is ... chaotic. We'd had multiple offers rejected in favor of all-cash (read: investor) offers, so we'd gotten discouraged. When our offer for this house was accepted, it went from 0 to 100 very quickly, and we were not expecting to have ours accepted
This is what happened to my sister and her husband. Went from "we're thinking about moving" to "holy shit the offer we put in on this place got immediately accepted" in the course of like, 3-4 days.
This company relations guy from Miro has emailed me four times asking if we can "talk about your use of Miro and your options going forward".
We have a Miro account for the lab but we're moving away from that platform and in any case I don't control the license or have anything to do with it. So I ignored his emails because they're a waste of my time and his.
but in his fourth email he said something like "i hope you can understand my professional persistence' (no, I cannot), and finally asked "... are you the right person to talk to?".
It was a tremendous relief to be able to reply "NO."
"That should have been literally your first question."
God, I hate salespeople. He emailed again, "have you or your team thought about transitioning to another license within your org?" I told him ( politely) to take a running jump. If he bugs me again, I'm telling him that not only are we definitely not going to renew any licenses, I will be personally recommending to the entire research org that we never use Miro again, and writing a formal letter of complaint to the highest level of the org chart at his company that I can get into contact with. All because he couldn't. Fucking. Let it. Go.
The latest IT trend that I'm behind on is Infrastructure As Code - basically everything is just declarative text, you run it, you get a network/environment/application/whatever. I think it's neat, and I fully recognize the value, but
It drives me fucking nuts that I could make this change in under a minute in the GUI, but instead I've wasted a whole day unable to make a change because the information I need to do it as code hasn't been fucking documented anywhere. If the people in charge are going to do this and lock everything down to this degree (I get it, I'm in security too), there should be comprehensive instructions to prevent this kind of loss of productivity.
SAP has been on the fritz all night and nobody knows how to fix it because management fired our sole IT guy for cost-cutting reasons and never found a replacement.
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (2017, colorized)
SAP has been on the fritz all night and nobody knows how to fix it because management fired our sole IT guy for cost-cutting reasons and never found a replacement.
SAP has been on the fritz all night and nobody knows how to fix it because management fired our sole IT guy for cost-cutting reasons and never found a replacement.
I'm sure they're saving lots of money having everyone standing around.
I feel sorry for the IT guy though. Schadenfreude is nice and all but not much comfort when you're out of a job.
"Simple, real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time." -Mustrum Ridcully in Terry Pratchett's Hogfather p. 142 (HarperPrism 1996)
+2
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AthenorBattle Hardened OptimistThe Skies of HiigaraRegistered Userregular
*Sighs*
Our business intelligence department has been having instability and issues with their monthly reports. They generate these on their "Development" systems because that's where they spend their time working. The "production" version of these systems is where the rest of the university generates and retrieves their reports.
For a long while now, we've been saying that hey, maybe don't treat your development system as a production system, because our standards and configurations are not set up to support that.
Late last night, I got forwarded an email where the customer and DBAs came up with a fix for this: Turn on 24 by 7 alerting (priority 1 call out after 15 minutes of disruption) for this development system... on only 1 day a month.
Needless to say, we do not have any configurations to allow 24 by 1 alerting.
I can't sleep anyways, so I just wrote a bit of a screed going "hey, maybe we should address the root problems, instead of pissing off more people by waking them up if there is a problem at night?"
Don't make it a question, because that comes off as passive aggressive. Just state that "We must address the root problems, not just piss people off by waking them up at 2:00 am."
SAP has been on the fritz all night and nobody knows how to fix it because management fired our sole IT guy for cost-cutting reasons and never found a replacement.
I'm sure they're saving lots of money having everyone standing around.
Haha I wish. We just have to write down everything by hand and hope our numbers are accurate.
I wouldn't feel too bad about the IT guy though. He landed a new job pretty fast and even got to get one over on the company when one of the higher-ups called him after they let him go to ask him what the password was to get remote access to a certain TV to use it for presentations in meetings. Dude straight up told them "you should have thought about that before you fucking fired me, huh?"
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (2017, colorized)
+42
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AthenorBattle Hardened OptimistThe Skies of HiigaraRegistered Userregular
SAP has been on the fritz all night and nobody knows how to fix it because management fired our sole IT guy for cost-cutting reasons and never found a replacement.
I'm sure they're saving lots of money having everyone standing around.
Haha I wish. We just have to write down everything by hand and hope our numbers are accurate.
I wouldn't feel too bad about the IT guy though. He landed a new job pretty fast and even got to get one over on the company when one of the higher-ups called him after they let him go to ask him what the password was to get remote access to a certain TV to use it for presentations in meetings. Dude straight up told them "you should have thought about that before you fucking fired me, huh?"
Regardless if they are true or not, rSlash stories involving IT guys are very fun. So many people don't realize how much they need them until after they've pissed them off.
Sometimes Present Expendable absolutely hates the tyrannical dictator that is Future Expendable because that asshole always insists on Present Expendable exerting extra effort to make FE's life easier.
The result though is most of the time Present Expendable thinks Past Expendable is an absolute MENSCH. Most of the time. The other times it's the greatest betrayal of our age.
Present Expendable largely just wants to play games and eat snacks rather than work though.
Our business intelligence department has been having instability and issues with their monthly reports. They generate these on their "Development" systems because that's where they spend their time working. The "production" version of these systems is where the rest of the university generates and retrieves their reports.
For a long while now, we've been saying that hey, maybe don't treat your development system as a production system, because our standards and configurations are not set up to support that.
Late last night, I got forwarded an email where the customer and DBAs came up with a fix for this: Turn on 24 by 7 alerting (priority 1 call out after 15 minutes of disruption) for this development system... on only 1 day a month.
Needless to say, we do not have any configurations to allow 24 by 1 alerting.
I can't sleep anyways, so I just wrote a bit of a screed going "hey, maybe we should address the root problems, instead of pissing off more people by waking them up if there is a problem at night?"
More than likely (and I'll note we have some other BI managers in here) this is because they're doing the critical month end reports that day, while the rest of the month they're willing to own their fuckups. A lot of BI work stresses infra in the DB space, so doing it in production will fuck up everyone elses day. Building an oversize prod environment to accommodate fishing expeditions is silly.
Generally the solution is another data store as an "analytic" environment that's a bit of a mashup of prod/dev so they can have a sandbox with good data but not mess up other users.
When I was actively building content, I used to say that if I didn't have hatemail from DBA's in a given week, I wasn't working hard enough.
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JedocIn the scupperswith the staggers and jagsRegistered Userregular
First full day back at work after two weeks of family support/funeral stuff/labor day/dentistry. Caring about any of the 200 emails that piled up in my absence is a tremendous uphill battle, and I don't want to be here at all. Maybe tea will help.
0
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AthenorBattle Hardened OptimistThe Skies of HiigaraRegistered Userregular
Our business intelligence department has been having instability and issues with their monthly reports. They generate these on their "Development" systems because that's where they spend their time working. The "production" version of these systems is where the rest of the university generates and retrieves their reports.
For a long while now, we've been saying that hey, maybe don't treat your development system as a production system, because our standards and configurations are not set up to support that.
Late last night, I got forwarded an email where the customer and DBAs came up with a fix for this: Turn on 24 by 7 alerting (priority 1 call out after 15 minutes of disruption) for this development system... on only 1 day a month.
Needless to say, we do not have any configurations to allow 24 by 1 alerting.
I can't sleep anyways, so I just wrote a bit of a screed going "hey, maybe we should address the root problems, instead of pissing off more people by waking them up if there is a problem at night?"
More than likely (and I'll note we have some other BI managers in here) this is because they're doing the critical month end reports that day, while the rest of the month they're willing to own their fuckups. A lot of BI work stresses infra in the DB space, so doing it in production will fuck up everyone elses day. Building an oversize prod environment to accommodate fishing expeditions is silly.
Generally the solution is another data store as an "analytic" environment that's a bit of a mashup of prod/dev so they can have a sandbox with good data but not mess up other users.
When I was actively building content, I used to say that if I didn't have hatemail from DBA's in a given week, I wasn't working hard enough.
OMG This is exactly the wording I've been looking for, thank you!
First full day back at work after two weeks of family support/funeral stuff/labor day/dentistry. Caring about any of the 200 emails that piled up in my absence is a tremendous uphill battle, and I don't want to be here at all. Maybe tea will help.
It is cliche and smug to say.it, but I really do hate it when I'm right about certain things, such as the warehouse being a huge cluster fuck since there isn't enough staff to do inventory verification/cycle counts, and there being so many people in leadership roles on that side that no one is actually in charge of anything
And I keep having to pore over transaction records and correct the electronic inventory record multiple times a week for a few items
If one more person asks why those helpful post its were removed, I might just walk into the sea
A member of the construction team parked mostly in my parking spot but also the one next to it? Anyway, I politely talked to their boss and they moved. They moved completely into my parking spot. It's petty, I know there are other spots, but I now have a nemesis.
Posts
Make it in fine, meet everyone, get a desk and a temp laptop and settle in for indoc, which is about as boring as expected.
Cue sudden campus wide power outage, everything just goes fucking dark, no one knows what is happening. Everything is chaos, now I'm just kinda sitting around in the dark with my boss going "uh, yeah, sorry, this first day is kinda fucked?"
It's good to be back at work
Oh it is even better. I always told them to play with low level bots so that they could practice shooting them and each other, then I'd join with my name and dude looking like the bots but then go john wick on them.
After a while I'd hear them talk about teaming up against the bot and I'd switch my look and name to be one of them and then make it look like I was team killing and keep switching.
My first day in the office at the new job we had to evacuate for a suspected gas leak. Definitely inspires confidence!
*Crickets*
Repeat for over a week.
Email today: "When are you bringing the rental van back? Hertz is getting angry that it hasn't been returned."
:rotate:
Oh man I hope that happens. That'll be hilarious.
Also the whole deal is that Hertz is getting out of cargo van rentals, and they sold this van. While I was using it. Which sounds like a them problem, to me!
We have a Miro account for the lab but we're moving away from that platform and in any case I don't control the license or have anything to do with it. So I ignored his emails because they're a waste of my time and his.
but in his fourth email he said something like "i hope you can understand my professional persistence' (no, I cannot), and finally asked "... are you the right person to talk to?".
It was a tremendous relief to be able to reply "NO."
"That should have been literally your first question."
"I was gonna take it easy but unexpectedly bought a house."
How
I mean, I know how I would explain that...
Jesus.
This is what happened to my sister and her husband. Went from "we're thinking about moving" to "holy shit the offer we put in on this place got immediately accepted" in the course of like, 3-4 days.
Hells yeah.
I did figure out which dental plan I want to choose, so that's nice.
Lisa needs braces!
Decided that I should use my internal time tracking of what I am doing as a starting point, and link outwards or backlink from there
We shall see how insane the web gets, but it did feel good compared to notepad++.
God, I hate salespeople. He emailed again, "have you or your team thought about transitioning to another license within your org?" I told him ( politely) to take a running jump. If he bugs me again, I'm telling him that not only are we definitely not going to renew any licenses, I will be personally recommending to the entire research org that we never use Miro again, and writing a formal letter of complaint to the highest level of the org chart at his company that I can get into contact with. All because he couldn't. Fucking. Let it. Go.
chair to Creation and then suplex the Void.
It drives me fucking nuts that I could make this change in under a minute in the GUI, but instead I've wasted a whole day unable to make a change because the information I need to do it as code hasn't been fucking documented anywhere. If the people in charge are going to do this and lock everything down to this degree (I get it, I'm in security too), there should be comprehensive instructions to prevent this kind of loss of productivity.
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (2017, colorized)
Tale as old as time
I'm sure they're saving lots of money having everyone standing around.
Our business intelligence department has been having instability and issues with their monthly reports. They generate these on their "Development" systems because that's where they spend their time working. The "production" version of these systems is where the rest of the university generates and retrieves their reports.
For a long while now, we've been saying that hey, maybe don't treat your development system as a production system, because our standards and configurations are not set up to support that.
Late last night, I got forwarded an email where the customer and DBAs came up with a fix for this: Turn on 24 by 7 alerting (priority 1 call out after 15 minutes of disruption) for this development system... on only 1 day a month.
Needless to say, we do not have any configurations to allow 24 by 1 alerting.
I can't sleep anyways, so I just wrote a bit of a screed going "hey, maybe we should address the root problems, instead of pissing off more people by waking them up if there is a problem at night?"
Haha I wish. We just have to write down everything by hand and hope our numbers are accurate.
I wouldn't feel too bad about the IT guy though. He landed a new job pretty fast and even got to get one over on the company when one of the higher-ups called him after they let him go to ask him what the password was to get remote access to a certain TV to use it for presentations in meetings. Dude straight up told them "you should have thought about that before you fucking fired me, huh?"
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (2017, colorized)
Regardless if they are true or not, rSlash stories involving IT guys are very fun. So many people don't realize how much they need them until after they've pissed them off.
http://www.fallout3nexus.com/downloads/file.php?id=16534
Turns out over a long enough time scale it's a pretty high chance.
Past me continues to be just the biggest pain in my ass.
I may (rightly) complain about idiot coworkers from time to time, but Past Me is often my greatest nemesis.
The result though is most of the time Present Expendable thinks Past Expendable is an absolute MENSCH. Most of the time. The other times it's the greatest betrayal of our age.
Present Expendable largely just wants to play games and eat snacks rather than work though.
More than likely (and I'll note we have some other BI managers in here) this is because they're doing the critical month end reports that day, while the rest of the month they're willing to own their fuckups. A lot of BI work stresses infra in the DB space, so doing it in production will fuck up everyone elses day. Building an oversize prod environment to accommodate fishing expeditions is silly.
Generally the solution is another data store as an "analytic" environment that's a bit of a mashup of prod/dev so they can have a sandbox with good data but not mess up other users.
When I was actively building content, I used to say that if I didn't have hatemail from DBA's in a given week, I wasn't working hard enough.
OMG This is exactly the wording I've been looking for, thank you!
Ctrl A
Delete
Kermitthefrogsippingmug.jpeg
I bet half of these are ads.
And I keep having to pore over transaction records and correct the electronic inventory record multiple times a week for a few items
If one more person asks why those helpful post its were removed, I might just walk into the sea