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christmas in the ER (gross pictures on page 11)

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Posts

  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    when i worked at a BBQ restaurant as a cook with my best friend he accidentally chopped off part of a finger on the slicer and passed out

    Abracadaniel on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    fuuuuuck that

    yikes

    they told me there's a chance my fingertip will just dry up and fall off, but that means that new skin's healed underneath it and I'll just have a chunk gone from my pinky

    I've already decided to tell people who ask that a very picky shark took a dainty bite from my pinky and decided I tasted foul and swam away

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    fuuuuuck that

    yikes

    they told me there's a chance my fingertip will just dry up and fall off, but that means that new skin's healed underneath it and I'll just have a chunk gone from my pinky

    I've already decided to tell people who ask that a very picky shark took a dainty bite from my pinky and decided I tasted foul and swam away

    you have to time it so that it falls down at the most traumatizing possible moment for any nearby children

    unintentional on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    do you have to do weird pinky exercises to get it to heal properly

    no but I have to soak it in warm soapy water three times a day to encourage bloodflow back to the severed area

    I am dreading changing the bandage, I seriously do not want to look at it again (cap said he'd do it for me -- that is love right there, folks)

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    tell them you and cap fought a pirate on your honeymoon

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Give him a zombie handjob.

    ChicoBlue on
  • AbracadanielAbracadaniel Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    the strangest of strangers

    Abracadaniel on
  • AneurhythmiaAneurhythmia Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    tell them you and cap fought a pirate on your honeymoon

    And the pirate mistook her for gold and wanted to check that it was real?

    Aneurhythmia on
  • edited December 2009
    i got a crepe pan for christmas

    gonna make

    hella crepes

    bongi on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    scary handjob?

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    tell them you and cap fought a pirate on your honeymoon

    And the pirate mistook her for gold and wanted to check that it was real?

    no it turns out bonk just got drunk

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • AneurhythmiaAneurhythmia Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    bongi wrote: »
    i got a crepe pan for christmas

    gonna make

    hella crepes

    That's a pretty creppy present.

    Aneurhythmia on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    I just got an irrational fear and sniffed it

    but it smells okay

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    normal

    or like delicious almonds

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • edited December 2009
    how did you manage this anyway

    don't spare the gorey details!

    bongi on
  • AneurhythmiaAneurhythmia Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    normal

    or like delicious almonds

    No, that's cyanide.

    Aneurhythmia on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    I do love almonds

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • World as MythWorld as Myth Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    bongi wrote: »
    how did you manage this anyway

    don't spare the gorey details!

    I was slicing onions for christmas dinner and pouf there it went

    we had subway for dinner instead, how fucking sad is that

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    normal

    or like delicious almonds

    No, that's cyanide.

    gangrene smells like almonds as well

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • ChicoBlueChicoBlue Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Do you love bad cheese?

    If it smells like bad cheese you should bite it off right away.

    ChicoBlue on
  • unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    subway was open on christmas? what the fuck was I doing at "NEW YORK STYLE CHINA BUFFET"?

    unintentional on
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    What type of wusthofs were they kate?

    Blake T on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    subway was open on christmas? what the fuck was I doing at "NEW YORK STYLE CHINA BUFFET"?

    likely crying into your general ciao's chickin

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    subway was open on christmas? what the fuck was I doing at "NEW YORK STYLE CHINA BUFFET"?

    likely crying into your general ciao's chickin

    actually it was just labeled "General Chicken"
    the labels were hilariously awful.

    most of the dishes weren't labeled at all, and some of them were completely off.
    "Thai Chicken" was some sort of lemon salmon.

    unintentional on
  • World as MythWorld as Myth Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Blaket wrote: »
    What type of wusthofs were they kate?

    this was an 8" chef's knife

    mom got me the whole set

    img19l.jpg

    I think it was the second one from the top that did me in

    World as Myth on
    kQwcZLJ.png
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    This taught me that even though I can open a bottle of beer with a knife, [URL="[IMG]http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f225/BlakeThomson/DSC00085.jpg[/IMG]"]maybe I shouldn't ([/URL]NSFW)

    (I was going to just let it heal until I sent this photo to a doctor friend of mine and he decided that it did indeed need stitches)

    Blake T on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    that would be a slicer/utility knife

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • unintentionalunintentional smelly Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    fuck I bought a new belt yesterday why didn't I get one with a bottle opener?

    unintentional on
  • Blake TBlake T Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    fuck I bought a new belt yesterday why didn't I get one with a bottle opener?

    Because you could probably open a beer with just a regular belt?

    Blake T on
  • Teslan26Teslan26 Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    actually wusthof knives are so incredibly sharp that all I felt was surprise for a while

    All knives are similarly sharp when new. If you care for them, that woun't change.

    Either way, I've never done anything quite so dramatic as seeing bone, but working in kitchens has resulted in a fair few slices. Including one malformed nail where it doesn't grow back properly.

    Hope it heals up well :-)


    Edit: One day I'll figure out why that set comes with such a POS steel.+

    Second edit - Guilty as charged

    Teslan26 on
    Snowbeat wrote: »
    get out of here, numbername
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Teslan26 wrote: »
    actually wusthof knives are so incredibly sharp that all I felt was surprise for a while


    Hope it heals up well fella :-)

    heh

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    "Zombie Finger" is an excellent name for a band.

    Tonkka on
    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! HEY SATAN
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Tonkka wrote: »
    "Zombie Finger" is an excellent name for a band.

    rank told you about his google search re your name, yes?

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • TonkkaTonkka Some one in the club tonight Has stolen my ideas.Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Tonkka wrote: »
    "Zombie Finger" is an excellent name for a band.

    rank told you about his google search re your name, yes?

    My band's name? If so we knew about that after we decided on the name.

    Seattle Weekly has a posting about that very issue on their blog:

    HERE IT IS!

    Tonkka on
    Steam: evilumpire Battle.net: T0NKKA#1588 PS4: T_0_N_N_K_A Twitter Art blog/Portfolio! HEY SATAN
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    haha awesome

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • AneurhythmiaAneurhythmia Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    normal

    or like delicious almonds

    No, that's cyanide.

    gangrene smells like almonds as well

    No, you're thinking of

    grene.jpg

    Aneurhythmia on
  • PiptheFairPiptheFair Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    fuck

    PiptheFair on
    STEAM
    Skayel wrote:
    One time, I had a friend over to play a bit of Red Alert on my LAN. During the game he said he needed to go to the bathroom, so we paused it. After about 10 minutes of wondering where the hell he went, I get up and go to check on him.

    Turns out he was trying to screw my dog.
    Once I was taking a poop at a restaurant and a kid crept underneath the door into my stall. I let out a big fart and then he threw up all over the floor in front of me and I just stared at him.
  • AneurhythmiaAneurhythmia Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    Teslan26 wrote: »
    All knives are similarly sharp when new.

    No, this isn't true.

    Aneurhythmia on
  • RankenphileRankenphile Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.Registered User, Moderator mod
    edited December 2009
    Tonkka wrote: »
    PiptheFair wrote: »
    Tonkka wrote: »
    "Zombie Finger" is an excellent name for a band.

    rank told you about his google search re your name, yes?

    My band's name? If so we knew about that after we decided on the name.

    Seattle Weekly has a posting about that very issue on their blog:

    HERE IT IS!

    hey man

    we heard you guys play on KEXP a week or two back

    you guys sounded fucking tight

    when are you guys playing locally again?

    Rankenphile on
  • SpacehogSpacehog Registered User regular
    edited December 2009
    how about "fist fuck"?

    For a band name, that is.

    Spacehog on
    Wow...oh my gosh. What guy isn't going to throw a punch or whatever with another guy that calls him a gay-slur? Really? Is it really that big of a deal? Holy crap..please, let it go. Justin Bieber is fine and the kid isn't in the hospital or something. Jeez.
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