As was foretold, we've added advertisements to the forums! If you have questions, or if you encounter any bugs, please visit this thread: https://forums.penny-arcade.com/discussion/240191/forum-advertisement-faq-and-reports-thread/
Options

Mass 3ffect: 2012

Dox the PIDox the PI Registered User regular
edited June 2011 in Games and Technology
jackquotes.gifg8J66.gifkasumiquotes.gifJhjdl.gif
ZMPj9.gif




AH YES,Masseffectlogo.png









cowbellm3r9i.jpg

Mass Effect 3 stuffs
Full magazine scans
Game Informer April hub
Humans aren’t the only species that can be Husk-ified.
ME3 begins with Earth’s assault by the Reapers, and things don’t look so good, but there’s something that is a silver lining, that makes it look like it’s actually possible to not lose against the reapers.
TIM has sent his top agents to take down Shepard, The combat is going to be much harder and melee attacks are going to have more focus.
Shooting specific armor parts can have certain effects, and the AI of the enemies will have them routing Shepard and will coordinate with each other
Battlefields are going to be a great deal larger, and combat will be very varied.
Enemy Weapons can be picked up. Soldiers can carry all kinds of weapons, and other classes understandably less so.
There is a larger skill tree and RPG aspects are going to be more integrated.
Weapon Modding is a greenlight, with things like barrels and scopes
Modding your weapons will vastly affect their appearance and how they function in battle
So far the CONFIRMED SQUADMATES are: Ashley/Kaiden, Liara, Garrus, and James Sanders who is mentioned is an Alliance Marine
Species Loyalty cannot only get obtained via Quests
Levels will have ladders
Available Squadmates will still maintain a balance, if per say Garrus had not survived ME2′s events
Mass Effect 1′s decisions, such as sparing the Rachni, will have a grave impact in ME3
There’s no railroad to the end of the game, there are multiple paths to take back Earth..



Coming Holiday 2011 for PC/360/PS3




1ReaX.jpg



payyX.png j7GRc.png 120pxjackcharactershot.png 120pxjacobcharactershot.png


120pxkasumicharactersho.png 120pxlegioncharactersho.png 120pxmirandanew.png 120pxmordincharactersho.png


120pxsamaracharactersho.png XcqrT.png EeZKD.png 120pxzaeedcharactershot.png






74221174.jpg

"It's total badass and if you don't buy it you're going to Mass Effect hell"



OTHER MASS EFFECT STUFFS



It's comics!



180pxmasseffectredempti.jpg 200pxme2aria.png 43458948.png 180pxmasseffectevolutio.png


It's books!


230pxmerevelation.jpg 190pxmeascension.jpg 190pxmeretributioncover.jpg


It's even a movie!




Quick Summary of Mass Effect 1



Morality System
Mass_Effect_Paragon_x_Renegade_by_ghostfire.png
ME wiki wrote:
Morality is measured in Mass Effect games by "Paragon" and "Renegade" points. Unlike many contemporary role-playing games, such as BioWare's Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic, that represent morality as a single sliding scale of good and evil, Mass Effect keeps track of the Paragon and Renegade points on separate scales. A good action will not make up for an evil one; therefore, being nice occasionally will not stop people from fearing a killer or remove the reputation of an unsympathetic heel, but nor will the occasional brutal action significantly damage the reputation of an otherwise upstanding soldier



Mass Effect Romance
11rf4ms.jpg
2j27ono.jpg
2mnoiki.jpg
2i276rn.jpg
wsw8qp.jpg
2l35t.jpg
2it1lhy.jpg


You can dance pretty well
211qvyuvdcl.gifshepardshuffleR.gif



If you're lucky you go to Mass Effect Heaven
e57f60c8cd7c112f1d62b3ed05f60e2cb3af64ad.jpg



SHIT WE DID


TychoCelchuuu has been kind enough to provide peeks at Commander Shepard's facebook page:

one two three | FOUR! FIVE!!




Kasanagi has been kind enough to provide us with sick-nasty gun mods:
Kasanagi wrote: »


Are you on your second+ game? Stop sweating the small stuff and install this: http://www.masseffectsaves.com/mods/kbo.zip


Features:

No startup movies

Infinite "Storm" AKA Sprint

Modified Krogun - 6 shot magazine, 24 spare ammo (40 after research upgrade), semi-automatic, high speed ROF.

Modified Widow - 6 shot magazine, 24 spare ammo, semi-automatic, high speed ROF (same as krogun's).


Just drop this in your Mass Effect 2 install folder under \BioGame\Config\PC\Cooked\ , make sure to backup your current coalesced.ini first, just in case


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJj0_s6d5kM


GoodKingJayIII provided the following way to skip much of the introduction:
Nartwak wrote: »
1. A lot of people don't like the opening 10 minute intro movie, but there is a way to get rid of it. Go to


C:....mass effect 2BioGameMovies


Change the extension of the following files to .bak:


Opening_End_Seq.bik


Opening_End_SeqFM.bik


Opening_Seq_INT.bik


ProCer_300_FirstFlight.bik


ME2_Opening_SunMid_INT.bak


ProNor_Pod2.bik


ProNorEscape.bik


ProNorEscapeAsh.bik


ProNorEscapeKaid.bik


ME2_Opening_SunMid_ESN.bik


ME_EAsig_720p_v2_raw.bak


BWLogo.bak


ProNor_Shepard_Rebuilt.bik



This will not get rid of everything, you still have to watch the non-CGI cutscenes and Save Joker. BUt it does cut down quite a bit. If you want those movies back just rename them to .bik again. If you're worried your renaming the wrong thing, you can download a BIK palyer and confirm the files.



2. Changing the first nam of your character does require an external program, but is pretty easy overall.


Download Gib's Save editor here: http://mod.gib.me/masseffect2/saveedit_rev23.zip


Open a save game here: C:Documents and SettingsUSERNAMEMy DocumentsBioWareMass Effect 2Save


Backup whatever save data you want.


Delete all the files except the one you want.


Open it in the editor, go to the Raw tab.


Under squad, click player, and change the first name.


Save the file under something new, since it won't allow you to overwrite for some reason. Make sure it's a save name that makes sense like Save_0002.pcsav, has to follow that format.


Rename the directory the your desired name, and you're done!


3. For those who hate planet scanning and hacking, there is an easy ini file edit floating around. This is just a colaseced editor that you guys have already been playing with but this one seemed pretty idiot proof to me. This again needs an external program but is non-excutable.


http://www.mediafire.com/?yjjzlzzzmyj


This has all kinds of stuff like god mode, extra weapons, infinite ammo etc., but if you just want the money, just use it to get your resources, save, then exit the game and revert to the non-hacked state.


I think that's the same guide I used way back when. It works, just rename the movies to .bik.OLD or something. Pares it from 10 minutes down to ~3 minutes.


korodullin has kindly offered some R&R with a wonderful game of bingo!


bingofinalv2.jpg


Spoit's far more simple variation:
me2bingo.jpg


curly haired boy has been kind enough to provide us a brief history of Mass Effect:

sovereign watches the asari discover citadel



THEY ARE PRETTY, YES. BUT THEY HAVE ALREADY BEGUN A CULTURAL STAGNATION. UNFLAVORFUL AND BLAND I DEEM THEM



salarians come in, ambitious, but under the influence of asari cease progressing as well


OH GOD THEY'RE LIKE POP ROCKS. TOO BAD THEY DON'T LAST LONGER....ANYONE ELSE GOING TO JOIN THE PARTY?


no? oh well guess i'll drop the voice effects it's not like these rachni can appreciate them anyway. ok you bug queens guess i'll trigger this purge early. not much this time around but that's just the way the cookie crumbles. wish you buggers were worth more to me than as a puppet race...ah nevermind


OH FUCK KROGANS


dammit, they didn't even register on my spacefaring, relay-using species list! D: looks like this plan ain't gonna work retreeeat


also very odd i sent the signal to open the citadel relay but it didn't work. UPSETTING.


also dammit that was the loss of a good puppet race D: indoctrinate the queens and everyone follows ugh ugh where am i gonna find another one oh well


ooo turians OOOO they didn't even get to the citadel until they were already worth harvesting? OMFG you guys ALONE are worth this purge i gotta let the guys know~ <3 mebbe they'll give me a puppet race or something too!


um ok they're excited too but they say nobody gets access to the collectors unless it's an EMERGENCY


FUCK


uh, uh *casts around*


OH HO HO SENTIENT TOASTERS YOU SAY? I CAN WORK WITH THAT! NO I DON'T CARE THAT THEY HAVE FLASHLIGHT HEADS


hmm humans? well they're no krogan i don't think i have to worry about them much hahaha


besides i've got enough busy-work traipsing all over the galaxy trying to find this prothean "back door" thingy


did the guys bother to tell me about that? nooooo they just get to point and laugh, specially that bitch harbinger. DENY ME ACCESS TO THE COLLECTORS WILL YOU? YOU JUST WAIT


HOW BOUT I LEAVE YOU ALL IN BLACK SPACE HMMM?


i was just kidding guys- ah you don't have to bring that up-LOOK I SAID I WAS SORRY.


who the fuck is this shepard person?


...


ok, WHO the FUCK is this SHEPARD person?


...


OMFG WHO THE FUCK IS THIS SHEPARD PERSON. I AM GOING TO HAVE A CHAT WITH THIS HUMAN.


....


blah that didn't go as well as i'd liked. doesn't matter anyway, me and my flashlight heads are in the backdoor. the guys will like the taste of the turians and it's just gravy if i get to personally stomp out this humanity species too. GOD they can be ANNOYING.


OMFG SHEPARD I SWEAR TO GOD


AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGSHDFSJDKFSDFSDFSDF1011011110001011010111-



__________________________________________


WHAT? DON'T LOOK AT ME THAT WAY GUYS, WE ALL AGREED THAT SOVVY WAS TOO INCOMPETENT TO USE THE COLLECTORS.


OK FINE THIS IS A PROBLEM ALRIGHT I'LL USE THE COLLECTORS TO DEAL WITH IT


BAM


SHEPARD'S DEAD ARE YOU HAPPY? GOOD.


...


WHAT NOW. YOU WANT TO USE THE HUMANS? WHAT ARE YOU, OUT OF YOUR BIOMECHANICAL MINDS?


FINE. BUT I DON'T HAVE TO LIKE IT.


...


OH FUCK OH FUCK SHEPARD'S BACK OH FUCK


I THOUGHT I KILLED HIM TOO DON'T FUCKING BLAME ME IT'S NOT MY FAULT SOVVY LEFT THE HUSK TECH LYING AROUND WHERE THEY COULD RESEARCH IT


oh god.


shepard is in the collector base. ah shit. ah SHIT SHIT SHIIITTTTT


....


look, i'm sorry guys i didn't mean for that to happen. YES i know that was our backup plan. YES i know we don't have any "spare" puppet species. YES i know just how much energy we spent on the collectors and on that base.


just....leave me alone. i gotta think.



Dox the PI converted the Grinch who stole christmas into

The Batarian Who Stole Christmas


Every Human Down in the Milky Way Liked Christmas a lot…

But the Batarian, Who lived just north of The Terminus Systems, Did NOT!

The Batarian hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!

Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be their slaving isn't right.

It could be, perhaps, that his jump suits too tight.

But I think that the most likely reason of all,

May have been that he has eyes, two more then normal!


Whatever the reason, his suits or eyes,

He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Humans,

Staring down from his ship with a sadistic, Batarian frown,

At the warm lighted windows below on the planet.

For he knew every human down on Earth bellow,

Was busy now, hanging biotic mistletoes.

“And they’re hanging their ez-zo!” he snarled with a sneer,

“Tomorrow is Christmas! It’s practically here!”

Then he growled, with his brown Batarian fingers nervously drumming,

“I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!”


For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Earth girls and boys,

Would wake bright and early. They’d rush for their consoles!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!

Noise! Noise! Noise!

That’s one thing he hated! The NOISE!

NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the Humans, young and old, would sit down to a play.

And they’d play! And they’d play! And they’d play!

play! play! play!


They would play M-E-1 and play M-E-2.

Which was something the Batarian couldn't stand in the least!

And THEN They’d do something He liked least of all!

Every Human down on Earth, the tall and the small,

Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.

They’d stand hand-in-hand. And the Humans would start singing!

They’d sing! And they’d sing! And they’d SING!

SING! SING! SING!


And the more the Batarian thought of this Human Christmas Sing,

The more the Batarian thought, “I must stop this whole thing!”

“Why, for Twenty-Three years I’ve put up with it now!”

“I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?”

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!

THE BATARIAN GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!

“I know just what to do!” The Batarian laughed in his throat.

And he made a quick Space Santa Claus hat and a coat.

And he chuckled, and clucked, “What a great Batarian trick!”

“With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!”

“All I need is a reindeer…” The Batarian looked around.

But, since reindeer are extinct, there was none to be found.

Did that stop the old Batarian? No! The Batarian simply said,

“If I can’t find a reindeer, I’ll make one instead!”

So he called his Varren, Max. Then he took some red thread,

And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.

THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,

On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max.

Then the Batarian said, “Giddap!” And the sleigh started down,

Toward the homes where the Humans Lay asnooze in their homes.


All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.

All the Humans were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.

When he came to the first little house on the square.

“This is stop number one,” the old Batarian Claus hissed,

And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.

But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Batarian.

He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.

Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.

Where the little Human stockings all hung in a row.

“These stockings,” he grinned, “are the first things to go!”

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,

Around the whole room, and he took every present!

shotguns! And spaceships! hammerheads! guns!

Mattocks! Locusts! Omni-Gel! And plums!

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Batarian, very nimbly,

Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Humans’ feast!

He took the Human-pudding! He took the roast beast!

He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.

Why, that Grinch even took their last can of human-hash!

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.

“And NOW!” grinned the Batarian, “I will stuff up the tree!”


And the Batarian grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,

When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

He turned around fast, and he saw a Human!

Little Commander Shepard, who was not more than two.

The Batarian had been caught by this tiny Human,

Who’d got out of bed for a cup of cold water.

He stared at the Batarian and said, “Santy Claus, why,”

“Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?”

But, you know, that old Batarian was so smart and so slick,

He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

“Why, my little tot,” the fake Santy Claus lied,

“There’s a light on this tree that won’t light on one side.”

“So I’m taking it home to my ship, my friend.”

“I’ll fix it up there. Then I’ll bring it back here.”


And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted his head,

And he got him a drink and he sent him to bed.

And when Commander Shepard went to bed with his cup,

The Batarian went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!

Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire!

Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.

On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.

And the one speck of food That he left in the house,

Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.

Then He did the same thing To the other Humans’ houses

Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Humans’ mouses!

It was quarter past dawn… All the Humans, still a-bed,

All the Humans, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,

Packed it up with their Cains! The Helmets! The Trophy Bots!

The DLC! And the Amps! The Launchers! The Heat Sinks!

30 million feet up! Up earth atmosphere,

He rode with his load to the ship to dump it!


“PoohPooh to the Humans!” he was humming.

“They’re finding out now that no Christmas is coming!”

“They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!”

“Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,

Then the Humans down on Earth will all cry BooHoo!”

“That’s a noise,” grinned the Batarian, “That I simply MUST hear!”

So he paused. And the Batarian put his hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the lands.

It started in low. Then it started to grow.

But the sound wasn’t sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!

It couldn’t be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at Earth! The Batarian popped his eyes!

Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Human down on Earth, the tall and the small,

Was singing! Without any presents at all!

He HADN’T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!

Somehow or other, it came just the same!

And the Batarian, with his feet ice-cold in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”

“It came with out guns! It came without flames!”

“It came without mattocks, locusts or cains!”


And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Batarian thought of something he hadn’t before!

“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”

“Maybe Christmas…perhaps…means a little bit more!”

And what happened then? Well... on Earth they say,

That the Batarians top eyes fell out that day!

And the minute his eyes didn’t feel quite so tight,

He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,

And he brought back the guns! And the amps for the fights!

And he, HE HIMSELF! The Batarian was carved up and burned with roast beast!

By little Commander Shepard who sold his testes


Bobble Mad an ode to the death of Batarians to the tune of Gilbert and Sullivan
I am the very model of a killer of batarians.

I've shot at many orphans, several teachers and librarians.

I love to use explosives in event of an emergency -

and even when it's not they tend to manufacture urgency.

My genocidal point of view is rarely called contrarian -

I am the very model of a killer of batarians!


curly haired boy strikes back with awesome wallpapers taken from the game:






Xly07.jpg

Dox the PI on
«13456762

Posts

  • Options
    manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Quads.

    manwiththemachinegun on
  • Options
    Dox the PIDox the PI Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Quints

    Dox the PI on
  • Options
    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Quisextuples

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
  • Options
    BlackDoveBlackDove Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Great OP.

    I mean, I've got a fever. And there is only one prescription.

    BlackDove on
  • Options
    BasilBasil Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Yes, Towers of Hanoi.

    Thousands of them.

    Basil on
    9KmX8eN.jpg
  • Options
    Dox the PIDox the PI Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    IGN says ME3 will be at E3

    So that's good if you didn't already guess

    Dox the PI on
  • Options
    TrippyJingTrippyJing Moses supposes his toeses are roses. But Moses supposes erroneously.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Would be perfect if the series was a

    quadrilogy

    TrippyJing on
    b1ehrMM.gif
  • Options
    Dox the PIDox the PI Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    TrippyJing wrote: »
    Would be perfect if the series was a

    quadrilogy

    it quad be good if done right

    Dox the PI on
  • Options
    chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Do you think it's trademarked?Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Good. We got all that out of the way so we can return to what's really important.

    Genophage morality debates.

    chiasaur11 on
  • Options
    DragkoniasDragkonias That Guy Who Does Stuff You Know, There. Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I think the Genophage is bad because Wrex is my friend and stuff.

    Dragkonias on
  • Options
    manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Geth nanny bots murdered innocent Quarian children as they slept.

    manwiththemachinegun on
  • Options
    DragkoniasDragkonias That Guy Who Does Stuff You Know, There. Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    "Granny bot...what are you doing...I have enough pillo..."

    Dragkonias on
  • Options
    LeitnerLeitner Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    chiasaur11 wrote: »
    Good. We got all that out of the way so we can return to what's really important.

    Genophage morality debates.

    Should the quarians have genocided the krogan to save the council with their superior Hale voices?

    Leitner on
  • Options
    Viscount IslandsViscount Islands [INSERT SoKo HERE] ...it was the summer of my lifeRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I enjoyed this OP.

    Viscount Islands on
    I want to do with you
    What spring does with the cherry trees.
  • Options
    manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Okay Viscount, that is clearly a woman's belt that dude is wearing.

    manwiththemachinegun on
  • Options
    143999143999 Tellin' ya not askin' ya, not pleadin' with yaRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I just need to go ahead and get this out there - if (probably when) ME1 goes on Steam sale this week, between it and my DA2 free ME2, it's going to be so hard for me not to get it and do a complete run to have a pure canon Shep for ME3 PC.

    143999 on
    8aVThp6.png
  • Options
    DracomicronDracomicron Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    So, uh, Jacob will turn out to be a traitor, right? He unplugs EDI as you flee from a Reaper. If you romanced him, he'll sneer that Shepard looked at him and only saw diamond-hard abs, not a real person. If you didn't romance him, he'll say that he loved Miranda, but she scorned him, and payback's a bitch, yo.

    Then he'll breakdance-fight you like Eddie Gordo in Tekken, except with a gun and grenades.

    Dracomicron on
  • Options
    FencingsaxFencingsax It is difficult to get a man to understand, when his salary depends upon his not understanding GNU Terry PratchettRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Dox the PI wrote: »
    IGN says ME3 will be at E3

    So that's good if you didn't already guess

    Huh. I thought we knew that.

    Fencingsax on
  • Options
    FawstFawst The road to awe.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Yeeeeah... I'm gonna have to eventually stop playing Black Ops so I can do my ME1 -> ME2 retconned canon run. Retconned because I've already done my run the way I wanted to as I played. But I want to go back and do certain things certain ways now, knowing what I know. For instance, I'll save the council this time around. And maybe I WON'T give TIM what he wants this time. And, who knows, maybe I'll let Space Hitler die. But she's lookin pretty bangin in the screenshot they had of her this time out... specieism < dat ass, after all.

    Fawst on
  • Options
    BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Leitner wrote: »
    chiasaur11 wrote: »
    Good. We got all that out of the way so we can return to what's really important.

    Genophage morality debates.

    Should the quarians have genocided the krogan to save the council with their superior Hale voices?

    The Geth should have cured the genophage to overrun the council and Cerberus with a Krogan horde so that they could murder all the Batarians, narrated by Jennifer Hale, with the Widow.

    while riding a rachni.

    and wearing a monacle.

    Bobble on
  • Options
    SmrtnikSmrtnik job boli zub Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    space hitler > boring boringus (hope he brought some sunscreen to that tower)

    Smrtnik on
    steam_sig.png
  • Options
    FawstFawst The road to awe.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I'm one of the few people who actually liked Carth, so I kind of enjoyed Kaiden as a result. I like the VA they used for both of them.

    Fawst on
  • Options
    ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    ME3 must have a tower of hanoi, I was sorely disappointed that ME2 had no Tower of Hanoi.

    They are an integral part of the story telling experience

    Buttcleft on
  • Options
    manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    That'll be hard since it's lying in a graveyard with inscription and everything.

    manwiththemachinegun on
  • Options
    ThegreatcowThegreatcow Lord of All Bacons Washington State - It's Wet up here innit? Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Ahhh new Mass Effect Thread.

    Time for more Mass Effect Drinks we'd Like to See!

    Favorites from Last thread include:

    The Mass Effect!...Thread
    4 Quads of Rincol
    Dash of Creepy Creme de Tali
    3 drops of -Tal Bitters
    Drop of Dox Funky Fanart
    Shot of AshleyMcHitlerSchlager
    Cut with a generous portion of some Priiiiizee JacobJoose

    Mix Together Vigorously in a Cerberus Designed Cocktail Shaker
    Stand back after shaking as the concoction will burst into flames due to Design Flaw
    Strain into a Geth Cocktail Optical Unit and Garnish with a Monocle.

    Shame and Failure

    1 Part Batarian Ale, Uncut
    1 Part Cerberus Drive Coolant

    Serve in reinforced container. Preferably near easily procurable funeral arrangements due to high rate of suicide or self destruction after imbibing this concoction.

    ASSUMING DIRECT CONTROL...OF THIS BEVERAGE
    1 cup slurrified yoomanity
    1 cup slurrified krogan
    1 cup slurrified asari
    1 cup slurrified turian

    Shake vigorously and pump into cocktail reaper. Apply proper mass effect fields and watch the party begin! YOU KNOW THIS WILL HURT YOU!

    The Plain Kaicob
    1 Part 2% Skim Milk
    1 Part Kahlua
    Dash of Hershey's Syrup

    Mix into a highball glass and drink. Remain unsatisfied

    The Talimancer
    3 Parts Quarian...."Fluids"
    1 Part Unstable Eezo
    1 Part Disinfected Simple Syrup
    1 Part Distilled Water

    Combine all ingredients into an IV bag. Connect to coupling of your choice. Bathe in your shame.

    The Bioware Forums
    3 Parts Fear
    3 Parts Loathing
    1 Part Las Vegas
    6 parts Shame
    1 Gallon Everclear

    Combine all ingredients into Fireproof Container and stir well. Punch Self in Face 3 Times. Light on fire. Retreat to shower for cleansing.

    VANGUARD PUNCH!
    3 oz Stabilized Eezo
    4 quads of Rincol
    3 Shots of "...It's...Green..." brand Liquor
    1 Ejected Heatsink

    Combine into a Titanium Re-inforced Container. Recommended to be enjoyed only by Biotics who have mastered Heavy Charge for maximum effect. Warning! Not safe for consumption around volaitile chemicals. May cause rash among lesser classes.

    From Jackisreal:

    The Genophage Part 1

    1 Bud Light Lime

    One Rad Verner

    2 Parts Asari Honey Mead
    Dash of Red Sand
    Dash of Drell Saliva
    Dash of Turian..."Tissue"
    Top with Prepared Shirley Temple

    Combine all ingredients into glass. Carefully back away from person imbibing this beverage as things will only go downhill from here.

    WARNING! May cause loss of Higher and Lower Brain Functions. Illium is not responsible for the safety or decency of those who choose to imbibe this beverage.

    Genophage Part 2, now with moar Mordin

    One Can of 4 Loko Chilled
    2 Tablespoons of "RincGel" (1 Tablespoon is equivalent to about 12 Quads of Condensed Rincol. Recommend preparing with Radiological Protective Gear)
    1 Cup Tonka Fuel
    4 Drops Kilix Blood
    1 Salarian Egg

    Carefully combine ingredients into Corrosive resistant container.
    A full rebreather apparatus is recommended at this point due to fumes.
    Recommend only preparing this beverage with adequate ventilation or in outside location not near any open flames.
    Gently stir ingredients with Iridium Laced implement. Top with Salarian Egg as a garnish.

    WARNING! May cause sterility in nearly every species except Vorcha, which results in Death.

    From MichaelC:

    The Wrex You Up
    1 Part Shepard
    1 Part Wrex
    1 Part Shepard
    1 Part Wrex
    1 Part Shepard
    1 Part Wrex

    Chakwas Sling

    3 Parts Serrice Ice Brandy
    2 Parts Skyllian Gin
    Dash Brittle Bones
    Stir gently, pour into cold tom collins glass.



    Some new ones I thought of:

    Scale Itch
    Pinch of Varren Skin
    2 Shots Goldschlager
    1 Pint Batarian Ale
    2 drops Eau de Kelly
    1 Unpleasant Implication

    Stir into glass of your choice, it won't matter, it will only end in sadness and chafing.

    Biotic Kick

    2 Teaspoons refined Eezo
    1 shot rincol
    1 Ground Thai Ghost Chili

    Stir into glass and watch the fireworks fly! Warning! Not to be consumed around asshole turians.

    Humans on Their Knees

    1 Cup 2% Milk
    Dash of Calcium Supplement
    Dash of Snark and Sarcasm

    Mix well into glass, serve during ship boarding, preferably one involving evasion of enemy forces.

    New thread go!

    Thegreatcow on
  • Options
    ButtcleftButtcleft Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    That'll be hard since it's lying in a graveyard with inscription and everything.

    This is a common misconception.

    The headstone was actually dedicated to Timothy O'Leary Hanoi.

    The bastard child of a Irish aid worker and a poverty striken woman who'se name was lost to history, Who despite the great disadvantage birth, rose to become a great figure and brought freedom to both the reunified Ireland and Vietnam

    Buttcleft on
  • Options
    BobbleBobble Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    That'll be hard since it's lying in a graveyard with inscription and everything.
    They killed Shepard, and look what that did. Are you telling me that Cerberus wouldn't spend a few billion credits to bring T.O.Hanoi back from the dead?

    Bobble on
  • Options
    BerkshireBerkshire Earth Federal Forces MassachusettsRegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    So excited to watch The Lunchtime War go down between the Quarians and Geth.

    I'd also like it if we found out who took the potshot at the comatose Reaper and left the huge scar on Klendagon.

    PS- Yay new thread!

    Berkshire on
    "And don't you ever stand for that sort of thing. Someone ever tries to kill you, you try to kill 'em right back."
    GT: FootlongKaPow
  • Options
    BasilBasil Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    When the Mass Effect MMO rolls around I'll be naming my character Hanoi and you won't be able to stop me.

    Basil on
    9KmX8eN.jpg
  • Options
    SnorkSnork word Jamaica Plain, MARegistered User regular
    edited May 2011
    wow so i had no idea there were so many air quotes in this game
    where did all those gifs come from

    Snork on
  • Options
    chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Do you think it's trademarked?Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Snork wrote: »
    wow so i had no idea there were so many air quotes in this game
    where did all those gifs come from

    That's not all of them.

    chiasaur11 on
  • Options
    DeaderinredDeaderinred Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Thegreatcow, i think i love you.

    Deaderinred on
  • Options
    ThegreatcowThegreatcow Lord of All Bacons Washington State - It's Wet up here innit? Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I aim to please. And bogart ME lore. Who else here would love a hardcover codex for the collecter's edition? Can I get a biotic amen in here?!!

    Thegreatcow on
  • Options
    Guitar Hero Of TimeGuitar Hero Of Time Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Basil wrote: »
    When the Mass Effect MMO rolls around I'll be naming my character Hanoi and you won't be able to top me.

    FTFY

    If a Mass Effect MMO rolls around, I'll make a Turian character for sure.

    I'll put all my stats in to Charisma, Reach, and Flexibility.

    Guitar Hero Of Time on
  • Options
    Ad astraAd astra Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    I aim to please. And bogart ME lore. Who else here would love a hardcover codex for the collecter's edition? Can I get a biotic amen in here?!!

    Hell yes! Hardcover codex/artbook, and model Normandy.

    Ad astra on
  • Options
    manwiththemachinegunmanwiththemachinegun METAL GEAR?! Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Nah, roll Elcor all the way.

    manwiththemachinegun on
  • Options
    EmporiumEmporium Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Ad astra wrote: »
    I aim to please. And bogart ME lore. Who else here would love a hardcover codex for the collecter's edition? Can I get a biotic amen in here?!!

    Hell yes! Hardcover codex/artbook, and model Normandy.

    I wish they'd just announce what they're releasing for a collector's edition, so that I may know exactly how many dollars I'm giving Bioware for it.

    Emporium on
  • Options
    OptimusZedOptimusZed Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    If you're not playing the MMO as a Volus riding an Elcor, you're doing it wrong.

    OptimusZed on
    We're reading Rifts. You should too. You know you want to. Now With Ninjas!

    They tried to bury us. They didn't know that we were seeds. 2018 Midterms. Get your shit together.
  • Options
    CorehealerCorehealer The Apothecary The softer edge of the universe.Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    OptimusZed wrote: »
    If you're not playing the MMO as a Volus riding an Elcor, you're doing it wrong.

    For once, I can approach the Earth-Clan and speak with them facing down rather then up, as it should be.

    Corehealer on
    488W936.png
  • Options
    ThegreatcowThegreatcow Lord of All Bacons Washington State - It's Wet up here innit? Registered User regular
    edited May 2011
    Emporium wrote: »
    Ad astra wrote: »
    I aim to please. And bogart ME lore. Who else here would love a hardcover codex for the collecter's edition? Can I get a biotic amen in here?!!

    Hell yes! Hardcover codex/artbook, and model Normandy.

    I wish they'd just announce what they're releasing for a collector's edition, so that I may know exactly how many dollars I'm giving Bioware for it.

    Same here, I'm scouring Amazon.com like nearly every day to see if it pops up. DAMMIT BIOWARE TAKE MAH MONEHS PLAX!

    Thegreatcow on
Sign In or Register to comment.