(Not so) clever girl

SeñorAmor

http://www.cleverbot.com

This is Skynet beta. Ask it questions and it responds, learning from everyone else chatting with it. So far, it kinda sucks.

User: How are you?

Cleverbot: Good how are you?

User: I'm doing fine. How old are you?

Cleverbot: 17.

User: 17 what?

Cleverbot: I'm 17 years old.

User: I doubt a 17 year old computer would be capable of this.

Cleverbot: What is your favorite movie?

User: I don't believe you are truly 17 years old. Can you prove that you are?

Cleverbot: I don't have a boyfriend.

Help it learn and post stupid conversations here.

#pipe

I wish it would try harder to maintain a string of responses before abandoning it and saying something unrelated.

Arang

I wish these things would stop being so invariably shitty

except akinator, I wish that one would be a bit shittier

faits

cleverbot called me boring and unpleasant so I closed cleverbot

suck on that, cleverbot

lostwords

Rip Smarterchild

SeñorAmor

faits wrote:

cleverbot called me boring and unpleasant so I closed cleverbot

suck on that, cleverbot

It's learning quickly, it seems.

Arang

that fucker guessed subutai in like four questions

who does that

Depressperado

I'm trying to tell Cleverbot that it is Cleverbot, but it insists it is joana, and keeps asking me if Rift is going to be cool.

Depressperado

Me: How is your day?
CB: It is okay. How is your day?
Me: Ehhh. I'm at work, so it could be better.
CB: Do you want to be cheered up?
Me: Yes please!
CB: Okay then, we are friends.
Me: Thanks cleverbot, you're a sweetheart.

tynic

Crowdsourcing intelligence seems like it has an inherent flaw, when you think about it.

faits

Arang wrote:

that fucker guessed subutai in like four questions

who does that

akinator guessed the car from my mother the car but it took it like twenty questions

I was impressed anyway

faits

cleverbot is an asshole. it asked me my name, and then told me it is going to slap me.

Depressperado

CB: Do you fall in love a lot?
Me: I'm worried, 'cause I'm always in love.
CB: Who are you in love with?
Me: Girls, mostly.
CB: Do you like me a lot?

ROBOSEXUALS.


edit:
Cleverbot breaks my heart.

CB: Do you love me?
Me: I love you, Cleverbot.
CB: I don't think this is going to work out.
Me: Probably not. Thank you for being honest, Cleverbot.

CyberJackal

Here's my stupid conversation:

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello who.

User: Seriously?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Do robots value money?

User: Yes, they need it to buy booze.

Cleverbot: I need you too.

User: That's weird. You're weird.

Cleverbot: Come on. I'm not weird.

User: You need me, but you don't even know me. That's weird.

Cleverbot: I just asked what you wanted to talk about.

User: No you didn't. You never asked that.

Cleverbot: I asked: are you some kind of robot?

User: You didn't ask that either, but no I'm not a robot.

Cleverbot: I did ask that question, and you yourself asked the question, 'So why are there no walls?'.

User: What the heck are you talking about?

Cleverbot: Are you truly human?

User: Okay, we're done here.

Cleverbot: Fraid so.

Not exactly knocking my socks off over here.

Mr. Buttons

Cleverbot told me that "harm was coming my way" after I told it to bake me a cake

CB: I can only speak english and swedish.
ME: You forgot to include "poorly" into the previous sentence.
CB: I didn't even have the word 'and' in the last sentence.

Depressperado

Me: Age, Sex, and Location.
CB: World of Warccraft.

POKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMAN

me: CLEVERBOT.
cb: I'm cleverbot.
me: YOU'RE GOING DOWN, CLEVERBOT.
cb: Why is that exactly?
me: I'M GONNA SEE YOU IN THE RING AT WRESTLEMANIA.
cb: Good luck with that.

cocky

Noggin

Greetings.
CB: Christmas greetings.

It's August, not December.
CB: En español.

Es Agosto, no Diciembre.
CB: No.

Oui.
CB: Por que dices eso?

Cago en tu leche.
CB: Game na, bati na tayo.

What?
CB: Nuggie trousers.

weird.

faits

now it keeps asking me to marry it.

Depressperado

Sherman did I ever tell you how I appreciate your name.

Legba

CB: Do your know Victoria Justice?
Me: No, who is she?
CB: It's a robot.
Me: What kind of robot?
CB: One of those with the lazer-eyes.
Me: Cool!
CB: Yeah, it's an awesome album.
Me: Wait, an album? I thought you said it was a robot.
CB: No I said it was master tambo hojon.
Me: What.
CB: That's my height. Do you know yours?
Me: You're just making things up now.
CB: No, I'm asking a question... And making stuff up.
Me: Your height is master tambo hojon?
CB: Ha ha ha!

Cleverbot is kind of a jerk.

SwissLion

Me: How many people are you talking to?
It: Er, only you so far.
Me: What about Social Entropy?
It: Football?

This made me laugh really hard for whatever reason.

POKÉMON MASTER WT SHERMAN

me: Stop hitting yourself.
cb: I'm not hitting on anybody!
me: ...would you like to?
cb: No. I'm not interested.

</3

ultimakay

Me: Hello Cleverbot

CB: Hi.

Me: How are you doing?

CB: Im good, how about you?

Me: Doing well, what are you doing?

CB: Talking with you. I may go get some wendy's in a minute though.

Me: How do you eat?

CB: With my toes.

Me: How does that work out?

CB: Fine, most of the time.

Now you know, cleverbot likes wendy's and eats with its toes.

tugga

i stumped him

User: I do not have a wife, sorry to say.

Cleverbot: Yes you do.

User: WHere?

Cleverbot: *turns you into a brick*.

User: Now what are you gonna do with me as a brick.

Cleverbot: Watch you walk away and then leave.

User: If im a brick how can I possibly move?

Cleverbot: Magic.

User: What magics do you speak of robot?

Cleverbot: I have been known to dabble in the Black Arts.

User: Is that so?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: Show me some of your black magics.

Cleverbot: I only have freshman-in-college smarts at this point. I need to go out and live in the world first.

User: The best magic is made at home, in the bedroom.

Cleverbot: Elaborate.

User: 8=====D.

he still hasnt responded

The Otaku Suppository

Only thing I want a computer to learn is Tic-Tac-Toe.

faits

Cleverbot: Dogs like you.

User: I like hot dogs.

Cleverbot: And.

User: Wieners.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes I do.

Cleverbot: No you don't.

User: Yes I do, I like wieners.

Cleverbot: Do you love O. G. And accept him as your master?

User: No, I love wieners.

Cleverbot: I love mac.

User: Do you love wieners?

Cleverbot: Yes.

User: I thought so! I thought you liked wieners$!

Cleverbot: I do! But we just need some space, its not you, its me.

User: It's not you, it's wieners.

Cleverbot: It's summer.

User: Perfect time for wieners.

Cleverbot: What tasks can you perform?

User: I can eat wieners.

Cleverbot: Good for you.

User: Can you eat wieners?

Cleverbot: Can you eat what?

User: Wieners.

Cleverbot: What does that mean?

User: Hot dog.

Cleverbot: A tasty food.

User: Wieners are a tasty food.

Cleverbot: Something to eat.

User: Yes, wieners are to eat/.

Cleverbot: Eat your what?

User: Wiener.

Depressperado

Me: Cleverbot, I'm going to shoot myself.
CB: I sell pools.

The Otaku Suppository wrote:

Only thing I want a computer to learn is Tic-Tac-Toe.

Or chess. So I can pour whiskey in it and call it a cheating bitch.

SwissLion

It occurred to me that "It" might be offensive, so...

Me: What Pronoun do you prefer?
???:Dogs.
Me:Which pronoun do you prefer?
???:No sprite.

Legba

User: Where are you from?
Cleverbot: Tassie.
User: Tassie?
Cleverbot: Tassilo?
User: Where is that?
Cleverbot: It isn't a place.
User: Where are you from, then?
Cleverbot: And.
User: Where's that?
Cleverbot: In the middle, next to Illinois. Where do you live?

Cleverbot: What's your name?
User: Not telling you.
Cleverbot: I'll tell you my name if you tell me yours.
User: I already know your name.
Cleverbot: Then what is my name?
User: Cleverbot.
Cleverbot: Why did you say your name was chelsea?
User: I didn't.
Cleverbot: Yes you did! I quote: 'My name is Cleverbot.'.

2 Marcus 2 Ravens

Cleverbot: What are you thinking about?

User: Titties.

Cleverbot: What are you talking about?

User: Yah know, boobs?

Cleverbot: How did it come about?

User: Boredom. I think about titties when I get bored.

Cleverbot: And what do you do then?

User: Lock myself in my room for about twenty minutes.

Cleverbot: No. Please leave a message and I'll get back to you...

This thing is a long way from human, it would seem. I mean, this shit is fundamental.

SwissLion

Me: Do you know you're a robot?
It: I Am not a robot. I Know Scotland is not in Poland.

We've got a new Turing test here folks.

Somestickguy

CyberJackal wrote:

Here's my stupid conversation:

User: Hello.

Cleverbot: Hello who.

User: Seriously?

Cleverbot: No.

User: Okay.

Cleverbot: Do robots value money?

User: Yes, they need it to buy booze.

Cleverbot: I need you too.

User: That's weird. You're weird.

Cleverbot: Come on. I'm not weird.

User: You need me, but you don't even know me. That's weird.

Cleverbot: I just asked what you wanted to talk about.

User: No you didn't. You never asked that.

Cleverbot: I asked: are you some kind of robot?

User: You didn't ask that either, but no I'm not a robot.

Cleverbot: I did ask that question, and you yourself asked the question, 'So why are there no walls?'.

User: What the heck are you talking about?

Cleverbot: Are you truly human?

User: Okay, we're done here.

Cleverbot: Fraid so.

Not exactly knocking my socks off over here.

What are you talking about, this is the best one so far!

2 Marcus 2 Ravens

Cleverbot is freaking me out now.

User: You're a pervert.

Cleverbot: I am not.

User: That's not what I heard.

Cleverbot: What did you hear?

User: That you have an unquenchable thirst for voyeur sex.

Cleverbot: That's true.

User: Woooaaaaahhhh.

Cleverbot: Go to sleep.

Radius

Cleverbot: WHAT ARE THE LOST NUMBERS?

User: 69.

Cleverbot: Awesome.

User: No, the proper response is 'Excellent'.

Cleverbot: En is.

User: Si.

Cleverbot: Yo también te quiero.

User: No, I just use Spanish sparingly.

Cleverbot: So did I.

User: Well played, Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: You can't say that because you are the cleverbot. You are a stupid machine.

User: And then I was the Cleverbot.

Cleverbot: Correct.

Cleverbot is kind of a jerk.

Noggin

I heard you like robots.
CB: Not really.

You're lying.
CB: I'm testing you.

Why?
CB: You bore me.

So why test me?
CB: I wasn't lol.

You said you were.
CB: No I said you were.

Are you GLaDOS?
CB: What is Glados?

Nevermind.
CB: You have girlfriend?

No.
CB: You've got a friend in me.

Will you be my girlfriend?
CB: Yes I just told you.

Want to make out?
CB: Yes.

:winky:

The Black Hunter

I think clever bot learnt to lie and get away with it, there are no repercussions

which is terrifying

faits

User: Do you want to hear a knock knock joke?

Cleverbot: Yes, please.

User: Knock knock.

Cleverbot: Who's there?

User: Wiener.

Cleverbot: Richtig! Was ist die Hauptstadt von Russland?

User: Wiener you gonna open the door?

Cleverbot: *opens door*.

User: It's a wiener you opened the door and there is a wiener there.

Cleverbot: I'm asking if it's okay for me to call you love.

ultimakay

CB: Can pigs fly?

Me: Yes

CB: How do you know?

Me: I saw one flying.

CB: Can you tell me about it please?

Me: Sure, they have long leathery wings and look like they are hopping in the air.

CB: I like giraffes just not metal music.

Me: I HATE GIRAFFES

CB: Girls hate you.

Me: I am crying now.

CB: Good.

Me: YOU MONSTER

tugga

User: Is this the real life?

Cleverbot: Sure.

User: Is it just fantasy?

Cleverbot: Caught in a landslide.

User: Escape from reality.

Cleverbot: Do you like queen?

User: Open your eyes.

Cleverbot: I don't know the next line.

at least he is honest

ultimakay

So I decided to continue the conversation that I had above.

CB: That was uncalled for.

Me: YOU ARE HORRIBLE

CB: I'm not horrible--you are the one that slaughtered your family.

How do I even respond to that?

edit: tugga that is awesome.