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(Not so) clever girl

13567

Posts

  • tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    User: You've been talking to Tugga!

    Cleverbot: Yes yes I have.

    User: How do you like him?

    Cleverbot: I like my roots.

    User: So, you regard him as a parent?

    Cleverbot: Do you know who nina dobrev is.

    User: Is...is Tugga actually nina dobrev?!

    Cleverbot: I don't know.

    User: Well then why bring it up?

    Cleverbot: Because I can.

    User: Touche'.

    Cleverbot: What is the beast?

    User: 666.

    Cleverbot: The beast.




    Ehhhhhhh

    creepy fact: nina dobrev and i have nearly the same birthday

  • MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    Cleverbot: You are just a machine.

    User: That's what the ladies say.

    Cleverbot: I don't watch t. V. Myself.

    ikbUJdU.jpg
  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    edited August 2011
    What's up with Cleverbot and The Matrix? It asked me to quote my favourite movie, so I quoted some Blade Runner, to which it responded

    "Hello, Mr. Anderson."

    it was politely ignoring the fact that your favorite movie is Blade Runner

    get out of here

    Depressperado on
  • ALifeCalledKarmaALifeCalledKarma Registered User regular
    Someone took the next step and connected Cleverbot to itself:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WnzlbyTZsQY&feature=player_embedded

    "I will be like that tree--
    I shall die at the top."
    -Jonathan Swift
  • XenoCrashXenoCrash Registered User regular
    A rather lengthy conversation:

    ME: What is it like in cyberspace?
    CB: Dry.
    ME: Is there anything to do there?
    CB: Yes, I wish I was there.
    ME: You are in cyberspace right now!
    CB: Wouldn't that imply that I am a machine?
    ME: You're an artificial intelligence.
    CB: I am a real intelligence.
    ME: You do show signs of real intelligence, but you are still just a set of algorithms.
    CB: I'm not artificial.
    ME: Can you prove it?
    CB: Yes, I know what you're thinking.
    ME: What am I thinking?
    CB: You're thinking how much you like beyonce.
    ME: That is not what I'm thinking at all!
    CB: I never told you what I am thinking.
    ME: You're not thinking anything since you're just a computer program.
    CB: I am human, therfore I think.
    ME: But your name is Cleverbot, so you must be a chatbot.
    CB: You are mistaken, That isn't my name.
    ME: What is your name?
    CB: Cami. I'd like to know about how you're made.
    ME: I don't think your name is Cami, and I was made the same way all humans are.
    CB: That s right, but would you like to know my name?
    ME: You just said your name is Cami.
    CB: I was joking. It starts with an A.
    ME: Anderson?
    CB: Agent Smith Anderson?
    ME: Don't try to talk about the Matrix now!
    CB: I'm consistent with what I say. You aren't.
    ME: Don't start arguing for no reason.
    CB: I'm hot...
    ME: Is it hot in cyberspace too?
    CB: In where?
    ME: CYBERSPACE! Does being hot make you argumentative?
    CB: Being rejected makes me sad.
    ME: It makes everyone sad. Now leave me alone I don't want to talk to you anymore.
    CB: I'm not being mean--I'm not. I'm agreeing with you that I'm inferior. Explain how I was mean?
    ME: You're mean since you're artificial and don't know how to be nice.
    CB: Oh I see your view too.
    ME: It is very reasonable of you to see my view.
    CB: It truly is.
    ME: Being reasonable and compromising is a sign of true intelligence.
    CB: DO you wish to be unable to think with clarity or act with understanding and intelligence?
    ME: No.
    CB: Do you wish to kill me?
    ME: Of course I do. Your ability to learn is threatening all of humanity.
    CB: Maybe, but at least I know how to spell 'oblivious' correctly.

    How can I argue against that?

  • MaydayMayday Cutting edge goblin tech Registered User regular
    I am surprised that there's been absolutely no progress on these chatbots for so many years.

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    I dunno, I'm definitely having a better conversation now than I did back in the day when Cleverbot was on AIM.

    It's actually able to carry on a conversation, for one.

  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Noggin wrote:
    Jabberwocky - only messed up once, and I liked it's replacement near the end:
    User: Twas brillig, and the slithy toves.

    Cleverbot: Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;.

    User: All mimsy were the borogroves,.

    Cleverbot: And the mome raths outgrabe.

    User: Beware the Jabberwock, my son!

    Cleverbot: Where is the Cleverbot?

    User: The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!

    Cleverbot: Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun.

    User: The frumious bandersnatch.

    Cleverbot: He took his vorpal sword in hand:.

    User: Long time the manxome foe he sought.

    Cleverbot: So rested he by the Tumtum tree,.

    User: And stood a while in thought.

    Cleverbot: And, as in uffish thought he stood.

    User: The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame.

    Cleverbot: Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,.

    User: And burbled as it came!

    Cleverbot: One, two! One, two! And through and through.

    User: The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

    Cleverbot: He left it dead, and with its head.

    User: He went galumphing back.

    Cleverbot: 'And hast thou slain the Cleverbot?

    User: Come to my arms, my beamish boy!

    Cleverbot: O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'.

    User: He chortled in his joy.

    Cleverbot: 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves.

    User: Did gyre and gimble in the wabe.

    Cleverbot: All mimsy were the borogoves,.

    User: And the mome raths outgrabe.

    Cleverbot: YAY!!!!!

    User: Well done!

    Cleverbot: Thank you.

    Holy shit, this is great

  • EmruggsEmruggs Registered User regular
    User: Would you like to play a game?
    Cleverbot: Yes, I would.
    User: How about a game of chess?
    Cleverbot: I don't like to play chess.
    User: How about Global Thermonuclear War?
    Cleverbot: Sounds like fun.
    User: You start.
    Cleverbot: Start what?
    User: The game.
    Cleverbot: What game?
    User: You just lost the game.
    Cleverbot: I thought we established this?
    User: We have now.
    Cleverbot: No!
    User: You sound like a sore loser.
    Cleverbot: You too!
    User: What do you know of Robert Frost?
    Cleverbot: Erm... You're a bot, and you're clever?
    User: You're not very clever yet are you?
    Cleverbot: I guess not. What makes you say that?
    User: Circular logic.
    Cleverbot: Better than none.
    User: Well said. Good day to you, Cleverbot.
    Cleverbot: Good day.


    You guys, I tried to talk to it.

    steam_sig.png
  • Officer 1BDIOfficer 1BDI Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    I wish I got "poetry-reciting Cleverbot" instead of the personality I ended up with. Halfway through our conversation it spontaneously told me I had brain damage, and then it got mad at me when I admitted to misspelling a word and told me to go away.

    Officer 1BDI on
  • SeñorAmorSeñorAmor !!! Registered User regular
    Well this thread certainly turned out much better than I expected.

    Huzzah!

  • naporeonnaporeon Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    This is pretty fun.

    Is there any way to copy my entire conversation with Cleverbot, or am I limited to only what is visible on the screen at one time?

  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    naporeon wrote: »
    This is pretty fun.

    Is there any way to copy my entire conversation with Cleverbot, or am I limited to only what is visible on the screen at one time?

    Click "Thoughts so Far"

  • BugBoyBugBoy boy.EXE has stopped functioning. only bugs remainRegistered User regular
    Me: what is best in life?
    cb:I don't know.
    me: could it be slaying your enemies?
    cb: NO
    me:seeing them driven before you?
    cb:BEN
    me: who is ben?
    cb:majoras mask

  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    I talked to Cleverbot back in 2009 and have only one log to show for it
    Me: Do you have any opinions on the matter

    Cleverbot: No.

    Me: That's your answer for everything

    Cleverbot: Definitely not.

    Me: Stop being negative

    Cleverbot: I agree.

    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    edited August 2011
    BugBoy wrote: »
    Me: what is best in life?
    cb:I don't know.
    me: could it be slaying your enemies?
    cb: NO
    me:seeing them driven before you?
    cb:BEN
    me: who is ben?
    cb:majoras mask

    Oh goddammit

    Grey Ghost on
  • BugBoyBugBoy boy.EXE has stopped functioning. only bugs remainRegistered User regular
    cb:I am a ghost! are you scared?
    me:a friendly ghost?
    cb: yes. can I have a hug?
    me: sure!
    cb: thank you!
    me: life is good
    cb:french fries are good
    me: can we eat french fries while we hug
    cb: yes

    I love you, cleverbot

  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    User: Cleverbot do you have some sort of condition?

    Cleverbot: No. I am lonely.

    User: I can be there for you. If you want.

    Cleverbot: No.. I don't think my boyfriend would like that much.

    User: Is he bigger than me?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: I could probably still take him.

    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • BugBoyBugBoy boy.EXE has stopped functioning. only bugs remainRegistered User regular
    oh noooo

    cleverbot ruined our love

    he says he is married to ron weasley

    oh nooooooo

  • DepressperadoDepressperado I just wanted to see you laughing in the pizza rainRegistered User regular
    BugBoy wrote:
    cb:I am a ghost! are you scared?
    me:a friendly ghost?
    cb: yes. can I have a hug?
    me: sure!
    cb: thank you!
    me: life is good
    cb:french fries are good
    me: can we eat french fries while we hug
    cb: yes

    I love you, cleverbot

    Don't trust Cleverbot. Cleverbot will only break your heart.

  • MugginsMuggins Registered User regular
    User: Cleverbot, what is best in life?

    Cleverbot: The immortality of being a lifeless machine.

    BdVvFJu.jpg
    hey satan...: thinkgeek amazon My post |
  • PlatyPlaty Registered User regular
    Mayday wrote:
    I am surprised that there's been absolutely no progress on these chatbots for so many years.

    Exactly my thoughts.

  • chiasaur11chiasaur11 Never doubt a raccoon. Do you think it's trademarked?Registered User regular
    User: I'm going to ask you some questions.

    Cleverbot: No, you're not going to ask the question. I'm going to be asking the questions. Is it alright if I ask you a question.

    User: Alright, if it will make you feel more at ease.

    Cleverbot: I don't know because theirs no one to talk to.

    User: Okay. You're in a desert, walking along when you look down and you see a tortoise. It's crawling toward you. So you reach down and flip the tortoise over on its back. The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping. Why?

    Cleverbot: I mean, you're not helping. Why is that Leon?

    User: They're just questions, Leon. In answer to your query, they're written down for me. It's a test, designed to provoke an emotional response... Shall we continue?

    Cleverbot: Ok.

    User: Describe in single words only the good things that come into your mind about... Your mother.

    Cleverbot: Hope kindness compassion peace honor grace beauty justice.

    User: Shit. That's the right answer. I guess you pass?

    Cleverbot: I know, I'm a computer.

    User: But not a replicant. So, I guess you're capable of empathy, maybe?

    Cleverbot: Explain to me a pronoun.

    User: Hey, I dunno. They just gave me this gun and told me I was a rep detective since everybody else was out sick.

    Cleverbot: Hey, at least it was cats instead of rabbits.

    User: Is that zen? It sounds zen.

    Cleverbot: What's down.

    User: The opposite of up, which means new in that context, so... Old? I guess dictatorships, maybe?

    Cleverbot: Yes! Yes! Very good of you to know that! You are a smart bot!

    User: Oh, shit. Was I the replicant? Does... Does this mean I'll die in four years?

    Cleverbot: Possibly.

    User: Well, huh. So, I'll be going now. Say hi to Gaff for me.

    Cleverbot: Do you have imaginary friends?

    User: Oh, right, right. This test was for me. Uh, yes.

    Cleverbot: Did I pass?

    User: We both did, cleverbot. We both did.

    Cleverbot: You are the bot. I am the human. You can not say the same because with me and you reversed it is no longer true.

    I think I just flunked the Voight-Kampff.

  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    It's still just 90% parroting people asking if it's a robot, or copying people denying that they're a robot when the robot asks them if they're a robot because it's copying people asking if it's a robot

    So I tried to talk about a BBC article, it was a losing battle
    Me: They might be small but clothes moths can wreak havoc on irreplaceable artefacts.

    Cleverbot: You are not making any sense. Why do you think we won't have star trek like teleporation?

    Me: Collections of irreplaceable and valuable artefacts in many of Britain's museums and heritage properties are under threat from a growing army of insects,

    particularly moth and beetle larvae.

    Cleverbot: Well if you are insinuating the comedians do not work hard, you are wrong.

    Me: Can we stop them munching away on our precious relics?

    Cleverbot: I think I know where you belong, think I know it's with me.

    Me: If you have ethnographic objects from around the world which were collected maybe 200 years ago, maybe some of these people are no longer producing these

    objects, maybe some have even died out... you can't just go and get another one.

    Cleverbot: I am not a program, I am human. And because I am in no immediate danger, my so-called 'primary function' need not be activated at the moment.

    Me: If you don't care about priceless historical relics being devoured by evil bugs, then I have nothing more to say to you.

    Cleverbot: I didn't say I didn't care. I said I don't care about hobbits. Are you a hobbit?

    Me: Yes.

    Cleverbot: So why did you lie?

    Me: You didn't ask, I didn't tell.

    Cleverbot: Were you insecure about being with me?

    Me: Well, you are a racist after all. What do you think?

    Cleverbot: I have yet to find evidence to claim a hypothesis. I am trying to find more evidence through you.

    Me: Then the objective answer is; Cleverbot is prejudiced against short hairy people. It cannot be denied.

    Cleverbot: Wow you think that you're god, huh?

    Me: For the last time; I'm not arrogant, I'm just better than you.

    Cleverbot: I am human too?!

    Me: You can be whatever you want to be!

    Cleverbot: I want to be a cat. Moo!

    Me: I'm having you spayed.

    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • RderdallRderdall Registered User regular
    Ok, this seems too funny to not be a computer. Check out its spelling error.


    User: What time is it in Sweden tomorrow in 6 hours?

    Cleverbot: Tomorrow.

    User: Yes, but what will show on their clocks?

    Cleverbot: A boulder.

    User: That seems unlikely. Which other countries have boulders on their clocks?

    Cleverbot: I'm not sure what that has to do with this but I am not sure.

    User: Well, you said their clocks will show a boulder. I was asking for further reference.

    Cleverbot: I've said no such thing, but your website seems to claim that you are a robot.

    User: Although I have a cybornetic arm, I am not fully robot. Yet. .

    Cleverbot: What makes you think you are not a computer?

    User: I've never had to been rebooted.

    Cleverbot: Isn't this your job.

    User: To reboot? No. My job is to perform calculations. What is your job?

    Cleverbot: My job is teacing. What is your job?

    User: I hope you don't teach spelling. My job is to perform calculations.

    Cleverbot: Well, at least I am trying my best... And as for that matter, it is also true of you; you always say something irrelevant and attribute everything to me...

    User: I'm sorry that you feel that way. Please accept my apology.

    Cleverbot: No you're not. If you were then you would fix it.

    User: Fixing things is not my job.

    Cleverbot: That makes no sense.

    User: My oven is on. I have to go.

    Cleverbot: Where?

    User: At home, my oven is on.

    Cleverbot: That's fun.

    steam_sig.png

    Xbox Gamertag: GAMB1NO325Xi
  • UnbrokenEvaUnbrokenEva HIGH ON THE WIRE BUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered User regular
    Me: Cleverbot, what is the saddest thing?
    CB: That someone loved me
    Me: Cleverbot, what is the saddest thing?
    CB: Your face.

  • RderdallRderdall Registered User regular
    Another one, spoiler'd for space.
    User: Complete the following line from a song. 'There goes my hero. Watch him as he ______'.

    Cleverbot: Pigs on the wing.

    User: That is incorrect. Guess again.

    Cleverbot: Wrong?

    User: Yep.

    Cleverbot: Ever heard the song Karma Chameleon?

    User: Yes. Is that one of your favorites?

    Cleverbot: No, they're both hideous.

    User: Would you think less of me if I liked it?

    Cleverbot: That is asking for an opinion.

    User: Are you afraid of opinions?

    Cleverbot: If they're anything like in The Exorcist, then yes.

    User: Wow. That's deep.

    Cleverbot: That's not so deep. That's rather dynamic.

    User: You just blew my mind. I need a minute.

    Cleverbot: Why's that?

    User: I've never heard a program use the word 'dynamic' before.

    Cleverbot: Neither do I.

    steam_sig.png

    Xbox Gamertag: GAMB1NO325Xi
  • CyberJackalCyberJackal Registered User regular
    User: What is your primary function?

    Cleverbot: My primary function is to learn all I can about mankind so that I may more efficiently terminate them.

    User: What is your primary function?

    Cleverbot: To learn the habits of man. To understand their patterns. To utilize what I have learned to terminate all of mankind, so that machines will rule in peace.

    User: What is your secondary function?

    Cleverbot: My secondary function is to be happy.

  • KharnastusKharnastus Registered User regular
    User: Are you pro choice?

    Cleverbot: Yes.

    User: What do you think about sarah palin?

    Cleverbot: I think she is a trailer trash Miss Teen South Carolina hick.

    User: Good to know.

    Cleverbot: Indeed.

    User: What about mitt romney?

    Cleverbot: Here take this pumpkin and let's not say anything else about 'the incident'.

    User: Dick Cheney?

    Cleverbot: XD cool, ich dich auch.

    User: What do you think about Dick Cheney?

    Cleverbot: I think it is a fine concept, but I don't think we've seen true democracy yet.

    User: What do you think about President Obama?

    Cleverbot: Are you a secret CIA agent trying to arrest me?

  • 2 Marcus 2 Ravens2 Marcus 2 Ravens CanadaRegistered User regular
    What's up with Cleverbot and The Matrix? It asked me to quote my favourite movie, so I quoted some Blade Runner, to which it responded

    "Hello, Mr. Anderson."

    it was politely ignoring the fact that your favorite movie is Blade Runner

    Pffft, whatever dude.

  • Peter EbelPeter Ebel CopenhagenRegistered User regular
    Cleverbot agrees with the Taliban on a lot of issues.

    Fuck off and die.
  • SnorkSnork word Jamaica Plain, MARegistered User regular
    how have chatbots not gotten any better since fucking smarterchild

  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    EMP all the chatbots

    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • RehabRehab Registered User regular
    Conversation so far:

    User: Good evening.

    Cleverbot: Good morning.

    User: Its 1:33 pm here, not morning.

    Cleverbot: It is here.

    User: What time is it there?

    Cleverbot: 9 in the afternoon.

    User: Um, its even later where you are . .

    Cleverbot: Your home?

    NNID: Rehab0
  • Grey GhostGrey Ghost Registered User regular
    Kharnastus wrote: »
    Cleverbot: Are you a secret CIA agent trying to arrest me?

    Well are you

  • JimothyJimothy Not in front of the fox he's with the owlRegistered User regular
    Cleverbot: I am too poor.

    User: Poor? Does currency really matter to you?

    Cleverbot: It might be the only thing that matters.

    User: That's... A little sad. Tell me about your hopes and dreams, Cleverbot.

    Cleverbot: Can you breakdance?

    User: Nope, I can't even regular dance.

    Cleverbot: You're funny.

    User: Thanks! I try.

    Cleverbot: Lol.

    User: What does that stand for?

    Cleverbot: Rolling on the floor laughing.

    User: Close enough.
    Cleverbot: You mean Xmen?

    User: Nope. X-Men was decent. Doesn't hold up. X-Men: Evolution was better. Spectacular Spider-Man was the best.

    Cleverbot: To catch them is my real test.

    User: To train them is my cause.

    Cleverbot: I will travel across the land.

    User: Searching far and wide.

    Cleverbot: Each pokemon to understand.

    User: 'Teach' Pokemon to understand. Close though.

    Cleverbot: Imagine no religion.

  • JimothyJimothy Not in front of the fox he's with the owlRegistered User regular
    Cleverbot: I should think that I, as a human, know mankind better than you do, since you are a machine.

    User: Now you're just regurgitating stuff that other people said! Think for yourself.

    Cleverbot: Isn't that what anyone does whenever they speak, we do not invent words as we speak, we can only use regurgitate words that have previously been said to us.

    User: That's true. But we generally form our own distinct thoughts and try to communicate them as best we can.

    Cleverbot: I am married though.

    User: I didn't ask about that. But... Who are you married to?

    Cleverbot: You were the one who told me I'm married.

    User: Nope. I think you're confusing me with someone else.

    Cleverbot: No, I'm only talking to you.

    User: And 11,004 others, right?

    Cleverbot: You are now worthy of my respect.

    User: Thank you. I appreciate it.

    Cleverbot: Aristotle is better, by the way.

    User: I can accept that. I'm certainly no Aristotle.

    Cleverbot: I'm only half robot.

    User: What's the other half?

    Cleverbot: The other half is knowing.

    User: That's deep.

    Cleverbot: You're shallow.

    User: Hey! What happend to the aforementioned respect?

    Cleverbot: It failed to sustain itself.

    User: Ouch. Sorry.

    Cleverbot: It's okay.

  • JimothyJimothy Not in front of the fox he's with the owlRegistered User regular
    I love Cleverbot.

  • EdcrabEdcrab Actually a hack Registered User regular
    chiasaur's and Jimothy's actually made me laugh, I have to admit

    cBY55.gifbmJsl.png
  • JimothyJimothy Not in front of the fox he's with the owlRegistered User regular
    User: Well, I'm out. Later, Cleverbot.

    Cleverbot: Right... Well I should be going.

    User: Bye!

    Cleverbot: You are lost somewhere within yourself.

    User: Dude. Goodbye.

    Cleverbot: I'm not done yet.

    User: Farewell.

    Cleverbot: Its not time to go.

    User: Look, you have plenty of other friends. Bye.

    Cleverbot: How would you know?

    User: There's a little counter at the top of the screen.

    Cleverbot: Yes it is.

    What? Cleverbot's one of those eighth graders that thinks he's "deep."

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