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Forget owls, this is about ducks now.

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    MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    .
    Ducks commit a lot of rape. At least a third of all sex between ducks is forced. This has lead to female ducks evolving curled tunnel-like vaginas and male ducks counter-evolving spiraling penises so they can keep raping. Ducks are fucked up mutant rapists that can fly.

    Also ducks have no thumbs.

    Well with all that spiral power, who needs thumbs? THIS DICK WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS, JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I QUACK?

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
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    DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    only duck worth noting

    Alfred_J_Kwak_N.jpg

    howard-the-duck-5.jpg

    JtgVX0H.png
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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    @Nerdgasmic

    here is the duckling ramp in my school's fountain

    alas, there are no ducks or ducklings

    duckramp1.jpg

    duckramp2.jpg

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    5822271143_a828764121_b.jpg?w=560&h=548

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    tuggatugga Makin' movies Makin' songsRegistered User regular
    thats so cool

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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    edited May 2012
    I didn't get any good pictures of them but there's also a set of signs next to the setup that explains the ramp and tells people not to harass the ducks/ducklings

    Shorty on
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    MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    Or face the terror that flaps in the night?

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
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    Zombies Tossed My Salad!Zombies Tossed My Salad! Registered User regular
    edited May 2012
    .
    Ducks commit a lot of rape. At least a third of all sex between ducks is forced. This has lead to female ducks evolving curled tunnel-like vaginas and male ducks counter-evolving spiraling penises so they can keep raping. Ducks are fucked up mutant rapists that can fly.

    Also ducks have no thumbs.

    Well with all that spiral power, who needs thumbs? THIS DICK WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS, JUST WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I QUACK?

    These are the best posts on the Internet ever.

    Full stop.

    Zombies Tossed My Salad! on
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    BYToadyBYToady Registered User regular
    edited May 2012
    Every year I gotta fish ducklings out of storm drains around the sites I guard cause momma ducks are so god damned bad at raising children. Why you gotta be so bad momma ducks?

    BYToady on
    Battletag BYToady#1454
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    SkeithSkeith Registered User regular
    Geese are the most aggressive, nasty fuckers I've seen in the bird world. You could make an argument that some raptors are more dangerous, but pound-for-pound, geese are way more hostile. I'm within walking distance of many large bird types including geese, and they will step to you if they think you're a target.

    If you show fear, they'll come at you just for the fuck of it, then high five their buddies when you end up fleeing from the hellswarm hot on your heels.

    Also, as far as noise goes, be glad those owls aren't peacocks. They sound like someone's strangling them and you can hear their calls clearly and loudly for a kilom or two. If enough of them are making a racket, I guarantee you won't be sleeping that night.

    Missed this. A couple years ago I lived about a half mile from a house with 5 or 6 of the noisy bastards, and they went off at everything at all hours. Worst sleep of my life over those 9 months. Plus, they wandered all over the road adjacent to that house (major road), but at least the owners got better about penning them after a very obvious mound of feathers and flies was sighted on the side of the road.

    aTBDrQE.jpg
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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    if a goose stepped to me I'd kick that fucker so far

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    PaperLuigi44PaperLuigi44 My amazement is at maximum capacity. Registered User regular
    That duck ramp is nicer than I expected it to be, I was imagining it would just be some plain planks of wood.

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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    UW don't fuck around when it comes to bein' green

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    Kuribo's ShoeKuribo's Shoe Kuribo's Stocking North PoleRegistered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    if a goose stepped to me I'd kick that fucker so far

    friggin' nazi geese

    xmassig2.gif
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    Rhesus PositiveRhesus Positive GNU Terry Pratchett Registered User regular
    Ducks are the best.

    mando300_tcm9-139950_v1.jpg

    [Muffled sounds of gorilla violence]
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    NerdgasmicNerdgasmic __BANNED USERS regular
    That duck ramp is so neat

    Thank you for getting a picture of it

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    UnluckyUnlucky That's not meant to happen Registered User regular
    Nerdgasmic wrote: »
    That duck ramp is so neat

    Thank you for getting a picture of it
    Pretty much this. Made my day.

    Fantastic
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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    This has lead to female ducks evolving curled tunnel-like vaginas and male ducks counter-evolving spiraling penises so they can keep raping.

    This is not how evolution works at all

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    Indie WinterIndie Winter die Krähe Rudi Hurzlmeier (German, b. 1952)Registered User regular
    pipe don't you dare belittle rape culture

    wY6K6Jb.gif
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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    ducks.gif

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    Binary SquidBinary Squid We all make choices Registered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    if a goose stepped to me I'd kick that fucker so far

    Try to imagine yourself at the local duck pond. You get your first look at the flock of geese as you sit on a bench. They look sort of like ducks, swimming around and looking for food; no danger at all you think.

    And you think you're safe when one of them starts moving towards you with it's wings out in an aggressive posture. You stare at it, and it stares right back, hissing.

    That's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side or the rear, from the other two geese you didn't even know were there.

    Geese are pack hunters, Mr Shorty. Never forget that.



    http://youtu.be/APMheQP3pgU


    Let's get some Owl respect too, since they can transform into a more powerful form when threatened, and ascend to new ranks of evilness.

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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    if a goose stepped to me I'd kick that fucker so far

    Try to imagine yourself at the local duck pond. You get your first look at the flock of geese as you sit on a bench. They look sort of like ducks, swimming around and looking for food; no danger at all you think.

    And you think you're safe when one of them starts moving towards you with it's wings out in an aggressive posture. You stare at it, and it stares right back, hissing.

    That's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side or the rear, from the other two geese you didn't even know were there.

    Geese are pack hunters, Mr Shorty. Never forget that.



    http://youtu.be/APMheQP3pgU


    Let's get some Owl respect too, since they can transform into a more powerful form when threatened, and ascend to new ranks of evilness.

    You should feel lucky, few people get to see his ultimate form!

    BLM - ACAB
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    The GeekThe Geek Oh-Two Crew, Omeganaut Registered User, ClubPA regular
    BLM - ACAB
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    DidgeridooDidgeridoo Flighty Dame Registered User regular
    The Geek wrote: »

    @a duck!

    The nice thing is if you ever get tired of him you can just throw some breadcrumbs on the ground and run

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    TallahasseerielTallahasseeriel Registered User regular
    God Howard the Duck was a weird ass movie.

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    sarukunsarukun RIESLING OCEANRegistered User regular
    #pipe wrote: »
    If I could choose one animal to remove from the world, and face no environmental problems, it would be geese.

    I fucking hate geese with all my being.

    They are mean, nasty, savage birds. And have absolutely no redeeming qualities what so ever

    Mosquitoes

    You're both wrong.

    Mosquitoes spread disease, controlling populations.

    Geese are delicious.

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    MetroidZoidMetroidZoid Registered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    if a goose stepped to me I'd kick that fucker so far

    Try to imagine yourself at the local duck pond. You get your first look at the flock of geese as you sit on a bench. They look sort of like ducks, swimming around and looking for food; no danger at all you think.

    And you think you're safe when one of them starts moving towards you with it's wings out in an aggressive posture. You stare at it, and it stares right back, hissing.

    That's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side or the rear, from the other two geese you didn't even know were there.

    Geese are pack hunters, Mr Shorty. Never forget that.

    Clever honker.

    9UsHUfk.jpgSteam
    3DS FC: 4699-5714-8940 Playing Pokemon, add me! Ho, SATAN!
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    A duck!A duck! Moderator, ClubPA mod
    TheStig wrote: »
    ducks.gif

    Holy shit.

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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    A duck! wrote: »
    TheStig wrote: »
    ducks.gif

    Holy shit.
    why do you not read threewordphrase regularly

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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    if a goose stepped to me I'd kick that fucker so far

    Try to imagine yourself at the local duck pond. You get your first look at the flock of geese as you sit on a bench. They look sort of like ducks, swimming around and looking for food; no danger at all you think.

    And you think you're safe when one of them starts moving towards you with it's wings out in an aggressive posture. You stare at it, and it stares right back, hissing.

    That's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side or the rear, from the other two geese you didn't even know were there.

    Geese are pack hunters, Mr Shorty. Never forget that.

    yeah, and then what are they going to do

    bite me with no teeth

    they won't even get that far, I'll charge the first fucker to threaten me

    I don't fuck around with geese

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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
    Unlucky wrote: »
    Nerdgasmic wrote: »
    That duck ramp is so neat

    Thank you for getting a picture of it
    Pretty much this. Made my day.

    welcome!

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    MeldingMelding Registered User regular
    Shorty wrote: »
    Shorty wrote: »
    if a goose stepped to me I'd kick that fucker so far

    Try to imagine yourself at the local duck pond. You get your first look at the flock of geese as you sit on a bench. They look sort of like ducks, swimming around and looking for food; no danger at all you think.

    And you think you're safe when one of them starts moving towards you with it's wings out in an aggressive posture. You stare at it, and it stares right back, hissing.

    That's when the attack comes. Not from the front, but from the side or the rear, from the other two geese you didn't even know were there.

    Geese are pack hunters, Mr Shorty. Never forget that.

    yeah, and then what are they going to do

    bite me with no teeth

    they won't even get that far, I'll charge the first fucker to threaten me

    I don't fuck around with geese

    goose bites hurt man. trust me.

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    LadyMLadyM Registered User regular
    The bufflehead is the best duck.

    bufflehead2nps.jpg

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    ShortyShorty touching the meat Intergalactic Cool CourtRegistered User regular
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