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I want to conduct a little experiment. It's simple, what I want you to do is to tell us a story. I could be something that's happened to you, someone else or so on, or it could just be a small chunk of info about you or your life (although longer stories are prefered). The more bizzare, the better. The twist is, the story could be factual, or it could be a complete lie, and it's up to the rest of us to try and figure that out. After you've given us a chance to mull it over for a bit, you then reveal who's right and who's wrong.
Just keep it civil and don't post anything stupid. Remember the longer the story, the more we have to work with (a small piece of info like 'I grew up on a farm' isn't going to get us anywhere, how are we supposed to know if that's true or not unless we knew a fair deal about your life?).
I'll try and post something soon, but I can't at this very moment.
I want to conduct a little experiment. It's simple, what I want you to do is to tell us a story. I could be something that's happened to you, someone else or so on, or it could just be a small chunk of info about you or your life (although longer stories are prefered). The more bizzare, the better. The twist is, the story could be factual, or it could be a complete lie, and it's up to the rest of us to try and figure that out. After you've given us a chance to mull it over for a bit, you then reveal who's right and who's wrong.
Just keep it civil and don't post anything stupid. Remember the longer the story, the more we have to work with (a small piece of info like 'I grew up on a farm' isn't going to get us anywhere, how are we supposed to know if that's true or not unless we knew a fair deal about your life?).
I'll try and post something soon, but I can't at this very moment.
One time we were playing "camping" when I was like eight years old. We set up tents in the downstairs living room of this house we lived in with this other family. My brat of a brother was silent all of a sudden, I went to investigate his tent because he is never silent. I opened up the tent and saw him (he's six years old) having sex with a seven year old girl.
So, I'm in Dennys right? It's 4:30 in the morning, and me and about four or five of my friends just finished playing a massive game of Risk. Of course, I don't have any money because I am broke all the time. So, I'm sitting there talking with all the dudes while they finish their food. This dude Cameron is there. Now, Cameron is douchebag. No one likes hanging out with him, because he is a self-righteous know-it-all. But, he does one hilarious impression of a Velociraptor. Now, I'm not sure how the conversation got there, but pretty soon we are all chanting for him to do "the Raptor". He refuses, and the chants get louder. He finally lets up and says he'll do it on one condition:
He turns to this kid Nick, and he tells him to eat the left-overs of my friend Jeff's hashbrowns "Like a piggy."
Laying down the rules more clearly, he tells him to eat the hash brown carcass with his face while snorting like a hog.
So, being the weak-minded fool he was, he did it.
I'm not sure why, but I couldn't look away. I was watching a 17 year-old kid snorting into someone elses food. I found it hilarious.
That was not even the best part for me. While Nick is doing this, he starts laughing. This causes him to choke on the hashbrowns
At this point, I'm laughing so hard, my stomach starts to hurt.
I go outside to get some fresh air. I can hardly breathe from laughter. Tears are streaming down my face.
As I gasp for air, I feel a bit...odd. So what do I do?
I throw up. All over the side of the Dennys. Just when I thought it was over, I throw up again. Of course, when I lift my head back up I notice that I was leaning on a trash can that probably would have served as a much better vomit-receptacle than a building wall.
And thus, the story of how I laughed so hard I vomited.
Edit: The worst part is, while I was vomiting, Cameron was in there. Doin' the raptor.
KnobTURN THE BEAT BACKInternetModeratorMod Emeritus
edited March 2007
one time we were all doing lines and this fat guy comes over and he's all oh are you guys sniffing up some reefers of blow can i have some
so we cut him a line of margeurita salt and he snorted it all up and was running around crying like a girl and pouring glasses of water up his nose to try and rinse it out
one time we were all doing lines and this fat guy comes over and he's all oh are you guys sniffing up some reefers of blow can i have some
so we cut him a line of margeurita salt and he snorted it all up and was running around crying like a girl and pouring glasses of water up his nose to try and rinse it out
One time I jumped out of an airplane and shot Hitler's cousin's great grandson in the liver. He was drinking at the time, so he died later that day of blood alcohol poisoning, and a gun shot to the liver. Then I fucked Angelina Jolie right in front of Brad Pitt. Sorry man, if you're just going to keep adopting homeless kids, someone's got to invade her Hot Gates. Speaking of Hot Gates, that very night I dined in hell, next to Leonidas and his 300 Spartans. They seemed to have an insatiable hunger for pasta covered in red sauce. When I looked at the check, I was like, "Fuck." so I made a break for the door. It was then that I realized that I realized I wasn't in Hell, but Martha Stewart's kitchen.
Bearcat on
0
World as Mytha breezy way to annoy serious peopleRegistered Userregular
One time I jumped out of an airplane and shot Hitler's cousin's great grandson in the liver. He was drinking at the time, so he died later that day of blood alcohol poisoning, and a gun shot to the liver. Then I fucked Angelina Jolie right in front of Brad Pitt. Sorry man, if you're just going to keep adopting homeless kids, someone's got to invade her Hot Gates. That night I dined in hell, next to Leonidas and his 300 Spartans. They seemed to have an insatiable hunger for pasta covered in red sauce. When I looked at the check, I was like, "Fuck." so I made a break for the door. It was then that I realized that I realized I wasn't in Hell, but Martha Stewart's kitchen.
One time I jumped out of an airplane and shot Hitler's cousin's great grandson in the liver. He was drinking at the time, so he died later that day of blood alcohol poisoning, and a gun shot to the liver. Then I fucked Angelina Jolie right in front of Brad Pitt. Sorry man, if you're just going to keep adopting homeless kids, someone's got to invade her Hot Gates. Speaking of Hot Gates, that very night I dined in hell, next to Leonidas and his 300 Spartans. They seemed to have an insatiable hunger for pasta covered in red sauce. When I looked at the check, I was like, "Fuck." so I made a break for the door. It was then that I realized that I realized I wasn't in Hell, but Martha Stewart's kitchen.
I don't believe it. People don't die from alcohol.
I know someone who got food poisoning from Taco Bell and can't eat there anymore. He has an automatic reflex now that kicks in where he vomits if he eats anything from Taco Bell.
Forever Zefirocloaked in the midnight glory of an event horizonRegistered Userregular
edited March 2007
One time me and some friends decided to drive to Georgia for the day just to dick around. When we got to Georgia, we stopped at the welcome office and grabbed a bunch of the fliers and pamphlets that they have. Meanwhile, one of my friends had found a skull mask that was in the car and had been wearing it. So we're driving with a skull mask guy and another friend has made a "kite" out of all the fliers and shit and has it hanging out the window, sending the papers flying all over the road. Well this guy in a Georgia Power truck drives up next to us and he's pointing at his phone and we're just staring at him cause he seems crazy. We keep driving and he's following us, so we decide to quickly turn off at an exit to get away, and it works. We get back on the road, but we catch back up with him and probably make some faces or something, and get off at another exit, but he follows us this time and it's pretty weird. We drove off into some residential area trying to lose him but he keeps following and finally we stop at a hotel and ask some guy to talk to the Georgia Power guy to see what his problem is.
And then like 3 state patrol cars and 2 sheriff cars pull up and ask us to get out, and they separate us into two groups, me and my roommate on one side, and then the other three on the other side of the car, and question us.
They were all like, "So where ya going?"
"I don't know, we were just driving."
"Oh you don't know huh, that's not what your friend said."
"Well, we were thinking about going to Valdosta."
"Oh thinking huh, you don't know where you were going?"
"... No, we hadn't decided."
And they search us too. My friend next to me had a piece of his shoe in his pocket that he had had in his pocket for weeks, and the cop was like, "Oh you always keep a piece of your shoe in your pocket," and we laughed. Also, they searched one of my friend's socks, TWICE, but no one elses socks at all.
They thought we had robbed a bank, and then threw the money out the window and into the residential area and such.
They then told us to go back home to Florida and don't come back to Georgia, cause "these boys around here love their land and if they caught ya littering they might get mad, go on now. You're luck that (Georgia Power) guy didn't want to press charges."
Like he could press charges for anything.
tldr - So we got kicked out of Georgia.
Forever Zefiro on
XBL - Foreverender | 3DS FC - 1418 6696 1012 | Steam ID | LoL
I see, well hopefully that didn't happen during the first hour then. That would be pretty anti climatic.
Kiefer just gets to Africa then all of a sudden BAM and he is dead.
Well, if you'd read my original post that I did not edit, you'd see what they did there. I'm only telling you this because Donald Trump hired me, then immediately fired me for indecent exposure on his hit series The Apprentice.
Bearcat on
0
KnobTURN THE BEAT BACKInternetModeratorMod Emeritus
fat guy all working his shift with a burrito tucked between his asscheeks just waiting for someone to be a cock
okay I believed the rest of it now you are just going too far
actually some of the taco bell stories are fabricated and exaggerrated
but there was a fat guy and if he was having a shitty day he would tuck some food like a thing of flatbread or a burrito between his cheeks or under his balls just in case someone pissed him off
Posts
It's a lie!
11 years later I had sex for the first time.
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
I'm going to 7-11, do you want anything?
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
true
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
He turns to this kid Nick, and he tells him to eat the left-overs of my friend Jeff's hashbrowns "Like a piggy."
Laying down the rules more clearly, he tells him to eat the hash brown carcass with his face while snorting like a hog.
So, being the weak-minded fool he was, he did it.
I'm not sure why, but I couldn't look away. I was watching a 17 year-old kid snorting into someone elses food. I found it hilarious.
That was not even the best part for me. While Nick is doing this, he starts laughing. This causes him to choke on the hashbrowns
At this point, I'm laughing so hard, my stomach starts to hurt.
I go outside to get some fresh air. I can hardly breathe from laughter. Tears are streaming down my face.
As I gasp for air, I feel a bit...odd. So what do I do?
I throw up. All over the side of the Dennys. Just when I thought it was over, I throw up again. Of course, when I lift my head back up I notice that I was leaning on a trash can that probably would have served as a much better vomit-receptacle than a building wall.
And thus, the story of how I laughed so hard I vomited.
Edit: The worst part is, while I was vomiting, Cameron was in there. Doin' the raptor.
That was the last time he ever did it.
twitterfacebooksteamsomemusicofminetoomuchgunshegeekshow
so we cut him a line of margeurita salt and he snorted it all up and was running around crying like a girl and pouring glasses of water up his nose to try and rinse it out
I believe this.
twitterfacebooksteamsomemusicofminetoomuchgunshegeekshow
I waited until everyone was in class, excused myself, then proceeded to put condoms on all the door knobs of every building in the high school
it was glorious
I believe it
she was a manager so i convinced her that she should steal some blockbuster employee shirts for me and some friends
we spent a summer going around to all the blockbusters in town and helping customers
all telling moms not to rent toy story for their kids because of the blatant gay sex metaphors throughout the film
getting hells of discounts on videogames
all just hopping behind the counter and erasing our late fees
that one isn't a joke, he's really a zombie
I don't believe it. People don't die from alcohol.
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
Goddamnit, you're supposed to say "KILL ALL HUMANS"
edit: well you passed the robot test then I guess
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
It's like the time I did a front flip over John Elway, then remarked, "Soda water rhubarb."
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
You know, that reminds me of the time I went hunting in Africa. I shot a lion, but it wasn't really a lion. It was Kiefer Sutherland.
true
all of the night crew including the managerswere all pals who didn't give a shit about the job
we'd get drunk as shit and melt kids toys and choco tacos in the fryers
flood the lobby and try surfing on broken down boxes
one dude worked a whole shift in the drive through butt naked
That was the fifth season of 24.
Only the show went on to be renamed "1" for continuity reasons. I know because I'm an expert at this sort of thing.
there are already six seasons
I see, well hopefully that didn't happen during the first hour then. That would be pretty anti climatic.
Kiefer just gets to Africa then all of a sudden BAM and he is dead.
Heh, shows how much I've been paying attention.
not only do I believe this, I would do it.
Except I'm not fat, but I do have ass cheaks.
twitterfacebooksteamsomemusicofminetoomuchgunshegeekshow
okay I believed the rest of it now you are just going too far
I made a TD for iphone and windows phone!
And then like 3 state patrol cars and 2 sheriff cars pull up and ask us to get out, and they separate us into two groups, me and my roommate on one side, and then the other three on the other side of the car, and question us.
They were all like, "So where ya going?"
"I don't know, we were just driving."
"Oh you don't know huh, that's not what your friend said."
"Well, we were thinking about going to Valdosta."
"Oh thinking huh, you don't know where you were going?"
"... No, we hadn't decided."
And they search us too. My friend next to me had a piece of his shoe in his pocket that he had had in his pocket for weeks, and the cop was like, "Oh you always keep a piece of your shoe in your pocket," and we laughed. Also, they searched one of my friend's socks, TWICE, but no one elses socks at all.
They thought we had robbed a bank, and then threw the money out the window and into the residential area and such.
They then told us to go back home to Florida and don't come back to Georgia, cause "these boys around here love their land and if they caught ya littering they might get mad, go on now. You're luck that (Georgia Power) guy didn't want to press charges."
Like he could press charges for anything.
tldr - So we got kicked out of Georgia.
XBL - Foreverender | 3DS FC - 1418 6696 1012 | Steam ID | LoL
Well, if you'd read my original post that I did not edit, you'd see what they did there. I'm only telling you this because Donald Trump hired me, then immediately fired me for indecent exposure on his hit series The Apprentice.
actually some of the taco bell stories are fabricated and exaggerrated
but there was a fat guy and if he was having a shitty day he would tuck some food like a thing of flatbread or a burrito between his cheeks or under his balls just in case someone pissed him off