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You vs 1 billion ants

DarkPrimusDarkPrimus Registered User regular
You versus one billion ants. Who walks away?

What kind of ants are they?
Great question. There are 12,000 species of ants so let's assume that we divide that distribution evenly, giving each species of ant 83334 (rounding up) participants.

What kind of prep time do I have?
What do you mean prep time? You aren't fuckin' Batman, you didn't anticipate this happening today

What so I can't just go to the hardware store and buy the shelf full of RAID?
If you think that's your only path to victory you're welcome to attempt it, but you're going to have to get through one billion ants in order to reach transportation to your local Menards or whatever.

What if I go for their queens? That seems like an easy route to victory.
Ants perform tasks en masse outside the colony while the queen stays safely secluded all the goddamn time. And it's not like ants are robots. They don't just stop and shut down if you kill the queen. If anything that's just gonna drive them into even more of a frenzy.

Aren't ants extremely territorial? Wouldn't each colony be as likely to turn against each other as attack me?
If that were the case it wouldn't be you versus 1 billion ants, now would it. They are united in their goal of your utter annihilation.

You vs 1 billion ants 137 votes

You
22%
DarmakMysstHouk the NamebringerMagic PinkNo Great NameWeaverDelzhandbowenIncenjucarXaquinThe Lovely BastardOlivawPhoenix-DTyphoid MannyPinfeldorfTheStigEndless_Serpents3cl1ps3EtiowsaPwnanObrien 31 votes
1 billion ants
77%
august#pipeMulletudeGarlic BreadMunkus BeaverBionicPenguinMulysaSemproniusRaijin QuickfootTayaGarthorEmperorSethAtheraaltaliosfalconKane Red RobeGreenBahamutZEROPerrsunDJ EebssarukunDarkPrimus 106 votes
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Posts

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    DarmakDarmak RAGE vympyvvhyc vyctyvyRegistered User regular
    You
    Fuck yeah, I'd kick a billion ant's asses

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    tynictynic PICNIC BADASS Registered User, ClubPA regular
    I know many ways in which I could triumph over a billion of even the most vicious ants, but in the spirit of 'insects are good, actually'

    i'm gonna lie down and let the ants take me. For the planet's sake.

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    HacksawHacksaw J. Duggan Esq. Wrestler at LawRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Oh the ants would for sure obliterate me

    And I'm fine with that

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    VeldrinVeldrin Sham bam bamina Registered User regular
    Yeah, ants deserve this world more than I do

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    You
    I win easy.

    1 billion ants are still slow as hell compared to me

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    NiryaNirya Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Now put the ants against the lions.

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    3DS: 2981-5304-3227
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    WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    I think at most everyone would get thru maybe 10k ants at most before the swarm goes locust style on you.

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
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    MulysaSemproniusMulysaSempronius but also susie nyRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    If a billion different ants decided to unite and that I needed to die, then I guess I must deserve it

    If that's all there is my friends, then let's keep dancing
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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    You
    if you keep running you'll squish 'em all eventually

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    TheStigTheStig Registered User regular
    You
    if I'm trapped in a room, the ants win for sure. If I can sprint to a garden hose or something I win.

    bnet: TheStig#1787 Steam: TheStig
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    IncenjucarIncenjucar VChatter Seattle, WARegistered User regular
    You
    As long as I have enough oxygen available they're pretty screwed.

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    rhylithrhylith Death Rabbits HoustonRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    I’m dead!

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    WiseManTobesWiseManTobes Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    If they are ants that have Voltroning skills as well, you are extra boned

    Steam! Battlenet:Wisemantobes#1508
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    Styrofoam SammichStyrofoam Sammich WANT. normal (not weird)Registered User regular
    You
    I would challenge the ants to a reasoned debate and crush them

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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    If just 5 or 6 bullet ants stung me I would probably go into cardiac arrest.

    just 5 or 6.

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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    You
    Macguyver once fought like a billions ants and won, so, there ya go.

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Ants are gross

    The will win through sheer terror

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    The Lovely BastardThe Lovely Bastard Registered User regular
    You
    i have the unfair advantage in that i cannot die

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    #pipe#pipe Cocky Stride, Musky odours Pope of Chili TownRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Hey I have a poll for everyone

    X vs Y threads
    or literally anything else

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    You
    I will agree that if I am asleep and 1 billion fire or bullet ants crawl on me that they will win

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    I needed anime to post.I needed anime to post. boom Registered User regular
    i don't see you making the thread coward

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    PeewiPeewi Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    That's one big ass ant hill. I would prefer to not be on the same continent as it.

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    MysstMysst King Monkey of Hedonism IslandRegistered User regular
    edited March 2021
    You
    once when I was 6 I woke up having been chewed on by fire ants, I'm pretty sure I'm immune now

    Mysst on
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    Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    1 billion ants is a little bigger than the truck that delivered a pile of stinky mulch on my driveway

    I couldn’t take that

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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    What if dragons were real and had to fight one billion ants

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    Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    #pipe wrote: »
    Hey I have a poll for everyone

    X vs Y threads
    or literally anything else

    X vs Y? The Pokémon thread is over there

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    XaquinXaquin Right behind you!Registered User regular
    edited March 2021
    You
    1 billion ants is a little bigger than the truck that delivered a pile of stinky mulch on my driveway

    I couldn’t take that

    remember that you can out pace the billion ant truck x a lot

    edit: It looks as though saharan silver ants can move nearly a yard a second!

    too bad they are as squishable as any other!

    Xaquin on
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    UrielUriel Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    What if dragons were real and had to fight one billion ants

    Hi welcome to my pitch for my antz plus reign of fire crossover fiction

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    mcpmcp Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    I'm not fuckin around with a billion ants

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    Bluedude152Bluedude152 Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Ive watched like, 20 ants total kill a bird

    I would be buried alive

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    GvzbgulGvzbgul Registered User regular
    1 billion ants
    Prep time? I win.

    No prep time? Ants win.

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    Captain InertiaCaptain Inertia Registered User regular
    edited March 2021
    1 billion ants
    Xaquin wrote: »
    1 billion ants is a little bigger than the truck that delivered a pile of stinky mulch on my driveway

    I couldn’t take that

    remember that you can out pace the billion ant truck x a lot

    Yeah if I could like get a way to take out small chunks of the 1 billion, like 10 thousand ants at a time, but without being crushed to death by just like 10 million of them, yeah...it’d take me a while, I guess...but I’d have to do this enough times that the chances of them getting me at least once are pretty high

    But if all I have to do is evade them indefinitely?

    I honestly still don’t trust myself, never been able to evade ants completely my whole life

    Captain Inertia on
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    Munkus BeaverMunkus Beaver You don't have to attend every argument you are invited to. Philosophy: Stoicism. Politics: Democratic SocialistRegistered User, ClubPA regular
    1 billion ants
    What kind of ants

    how am i to die

    Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but dies in the process.
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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    1 billion ants
    I see an ant, I immediately lie down and die

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    PiptheFairPiptheFair Frequently not in boats. Registered User regular
    like 4 bullet ants would end me by themselves

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    OlivawOlivaw good name, isn't it? the foot of mt fujiRegistered User regular
    You
    My initial response was, with the element of surprise, the ants would surely defeat me

    But I'm tired of having low self-confidence by god, so I say I think I could maneuver my way around the ants and reach a car, in which case I can quickly acquire aid from an exterminator or perhaps my local flamethrower-owner to put these ants down

    Have confidence everyone!!

    signature-deffo.jpg
    PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
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    3cl1ps33cl1ps3 I will build a labyrinth to house the cheese Registered User regular
    You
    If the ants are different species divided evenly, they can't all work together as every species uses different pheromones for communication. You're essentially fighting a bunch of much smaller swarms of uncoordinated ants. Some of the swarms will even be fighting each other.

    No contest.

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    BahamutZEROBahamutZERO Registered User, Moderator mod
    1 billion ants
    the 1 billion ants form another car out of themselves, except it's bigger and it runs you over and crushes you in your car. You're dead.

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    PoorochondriacPoorochondriac Ah, man Ah, jeezRegistered User regular
    1 billion ants
    I'd be in trouble with anything over 10k I reckon

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    EndEnd Registered User regular
    The ants scare me way less than whoever got eighty three thousand different species of ants to all fight me at once

    I wish that someway, somehow, that I could save every one of us
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