Though I am continually surprised to hear how enigmatic the male reproductive system is to girls. Why just the other day my girlfriend asked me if I voluntarily lift my balls when it gets cold. Man, I wish I could voluntarily lift my balls, I'd make them dance!
Does she know you can voluntarily move the shaft?
It was fun surprising my girlfriend with that. It's magic hazzah!
Though I am continually surprised to hear how enigmatic the male reproductive system is to girls. Why just the other day my girlfriend asked me if I voluntarily lift my balls when it gets cold. Man, I wish I could voluntarily lift my balls, I'd make them dance!
Does she know you can voluntarily move the shaft?
It was fun surprising my girlfriend with that. It's magic hazzah!
Though I am continually surprised to hear how enigmatic the male reproductive system is to girls. Why just the other day my girlfriend asked me if I voluntarily lift my balls when it gets cold. Man, I wish I could voluntarily lift my balls, I'd make them dance!
Does she know you can voluntarily move the shaft?
It was fun surprising my girlfriend with that. It's magic hazzah!
Though I am continually surprised to hear how enigmatic the male reproductive system is to girls. Why just the other day my girlfriend asked me if I voluntarily lift my balls when it gets cold. Man, I wish I could voluntarily lift my balls, I'd make them dance!
Does she know you can voluntarily move the shaft?
It was fun surprising my girlfriend with that. It's magic hazzah!
On the subject of masturbation...man, I'm afraid to today. I've got some serious, uh, shedding going on, and I'm afraid of waking up surrounded by short hairs.
Funniest moment of my depressingly short sex life, "What the hell was that?"
I don't think it's something they regularly teach in health class.
Man, you had the shitty health classes then. We learned that apparently Peter North can lift a towel like that (ie - one hanging off his dick). Ahh, Catholic School, such a rich experience.
Funniest moment of my depressingly short sex life, "What the hell was that?"
I don't think it's something they regularly teach in health class.
Man, you had the shitty health classes then. We learned that apparently Peter North can lift a towel like that (ie - one hanging off his dick). Ahh, Catholic School, such a rich experience.
Which is impressive because it depends both on the strength of the involved muscles and the quality of the erection (I may or may not have tried this before I honestly don't remember).
Fappin'. The way I look at: either I do it on my own, and in a cleanly manner whilst enjoying myself... or it occurs when I'm sleeping while possibly leaving a mess for me to clean.
Then again, I don't even really have to justify it anymore. It feels good and it releases stress. Anything that does either (especially at the same time) is okay in my book.
It actually does relieve stress. It puts you in a ahh state right after, and then after it's done you don't want to think about anything sexual for a little while which is weird.
Oh god, I know much more about my sister's sexual life than I should, would ever want to, or god my head hurts, seeing how most of my friends at some point before becoming my friends dated her.
There's nothing like swimming with one of your best buddies and him going "Oh yeah, it was right over there where your sister gave me my first blowjob." Or saying something about face fucking and one of them going "Yeah, your sister gave that phrase a whole new meaning."
I'd get pissed about it if what they were saying was untrue, but seeing how it's not I can't really get mad. It sucks though.
How dare your female relatives have an enjoyable sex life. What a bag of sluts. You should beat them more, clearly.
How dare your female relatives have an enjoyable sex life. What a bag of sluts. You should beat them more, clearly.
:roll:
Well, to be fair, I think he was just have the ooglies at the fact that someone in his nuclear family was getting their rocks off. I mean, his ooglies were probably worse because it was his sister, but hell, I'd be kind of grossed out by my brother or my dad's sex life.
I agree that being hyper-"protective" of daughters is a terrible social phenomenon, but I took the post to be more about the heebie-jeebies we get whenever we picture the private lives of those close to us.
How dare your female relatives have an enjoyable sex life. What a bag of sluts. You should beat them more, clearly.
:roll:
Well, to be fair, I think he was just have the ooglies at the fact that someone in his nuclear family was getting their rocks off. I mean, his ooglies were probably worse because it was his sister, but hell, I'd be kind of grossed out by my brother or my dad's sex life.
I agree that being hyper-"protective" of daughters is a terrible social phenomenon, but I took the post to be more about the heebie-jeebies we get whenever we picture the private lives of those close to us.
It is horribly, horribly immature to give any more of a fuck about your relatives' sex lives than anyone else's.
Unless they're ugly.
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MrMisterJesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered Userregular
It is horribly, horribly immature to give any more of a fuck about your relatives' sex lives than anyone else's.
Oh, I know. But it's still more morally upstanding than hating on women.
Unless they're ugly.
Cool egalitarian philosophers are totally into social justice for the ugly.
MrMister on
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Apothe0sisHave you ever questioned the nature of your reality?Registered Userregular
edited August 2007
ITT The Cat reveals she enjoys facefucking? :O
But seriously folks, I'm not sure if it's a female thing I'm uncomfortable knowing about my brother's sex life just like my sisters' and am uncomfortable should I catch a revealing glimpse of my brother's girlfriends by virtue of their assosciation with my brother.
Look, I'm not just picking on the female thing, its just as silly to be all "my parents only ever had sex once, through a hole in the sheet, and promptly moved into separate bedrooms LA LA LA CANT HEAR YOU". I can't imagine anyone like that being much fun in bed, because holy inhibitions, batman.
Oh god, I know much more about my sister's sexual life than I should, would ever want to, or god my head hurts, seeing how most of my friends at some point before becoming my friends dated her.
There's nothing like swimming with one of your best buddies and him going "Oh yeah, it was right over there where your sister gave me my first blowjob." Or saying something about face fucking and one of them going "Yeah, your sister gave that phrase a whole new meaning."
I'd get pissed about it if what they were saying was untrue, but seeing how it's not I can't really get mad. It sucks though.
How dare your female relatives have an enjoyable sex life. What a bag of sluts. You should beat them more, clearly.
:roll:
I think it has more to do with the fact that there is some shit you shouldn't say to your buddy. If you're dating (or have dated ) your friend's sister it's not cool to go telling him what an awesome cocksucker she is.
I'm not sure what Death of Rats point was, but if it was my sister and my buddy said that to me I probably wouldn't appreciate it.
EDIT - But good show on the immediately painting him as an abusing mysoginist.
Werrick on
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be rude without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
-Robert E. Howard Tower of the Elephant
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Apothe0sisHave you ever questioned the nature of your reality?Registered Userregular
edited August 2007
That's a particularly stupid way to be, of course - I'm not and didn't think the rest of us were talking about that level of neurosis..
I reckoned I'd be squicked out by parents' sex life, but since they've promised me that they've done anything like that, I've got nothing to worry about.
Not wanting to know the details of your relatives' sex lives really isn't the same thing as wanting to pretend they don't have sex. Equating those two things seems a little ridiculous.
EDIT - But good show on the immediately painting him as an abusing mysoginist.
I did no such thing, you dolt. I was, however, clearly implying that he was not thinking about what he was saying and was as a result coming off as an idiot.
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MrMisterJesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered Userregular
Look, I'm not just picking on the female thing, its just as silly to be all "my parents only ever had sex once, through a hole in the sheet, and promptly moved into separate bedrooms LA LA LA CANT HEAR YOU". I can't imagine anyone like that being much fun in bed, because holy inhibitions, batman.
Well, yes, it's silly--though people who have hangups about everyone else's sex life can still have quite lively ones of their own.
I can ALMOST make them voluntarily sorta lift. ALMOST.
...I wish I could do it properly, and independently. I'd make 'em cha-cha.
I can only do the right one, for some reason.
Balls are freaking weird. The whole male genitalia is very inefficiently designed.
Heh... I get a kick out of the differences in how men and women see this kind of thing. I'm always reminded of that Seinfeld episode when they're talking about their junk and Elaine says "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
Werrick on
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be rude without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
That's a particularly stupid way to be, of course - I'm not and didn't think the rest of us were talking about that level of neurosis..
There's half a page of offers of therapy, hugs, and lobotomies following that post, and a couple of earlier posts by other people got the same treatment. Its such a stupid overreaction.
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JacobkoshGamble a stamp.I can show you how to be a real man!Moderatormod
edited August 2007
I will cheerfully admit that I am woefully inhibited when it comes to imagining my parents' sex life, and yet, strangely, it hasn't posed much of a handicap. Funny that.
EDIT - But good show on the immediately painting him as an abusing mysoginist.
I did no such thing, you dolt. I was, however, clearly implying that he was not thinking about what he was saying and was as a result coming off as an idiot.
How dare your female relatives have an enjoyable sex life. What a bag of sluts. You should beat them more, clearly.
:roll:
Werrick on
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be rude without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
-Robert E. Howard Tower of the Elephant
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MrMisterJesus dying on the cross in pain? Morally better than us. One has to go "all in".Registered Userregular
edited August 2007
ITT: Cat hates men. All of them. All the men ever.
God, it is so hard to be a man nowadays. Every little light cuff gets interpreted as abuse. I'll tell you what's abusive--not having dinner on the table when I get home from my job, where I work all damn day to put a roof over your head!
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Apothe0sisHave you ever questioned the nature of your reality?Registered Userregular
edited August 2007
Hmmm
Maybe his mum's ugly?
Or he fears that the reason his nose is kind of sideways is some sort of pre-natal injury...
EDIT - But good show on the immediately painting him as an abusing mysoginist.
I did no such thing, you dolt. I was, however, clearly implying that he was not thinking about what he was saying and was as a result coming off as an idiot.
ITT: Cat hates men. All of them. All the men ever.
God, it is so hard to be a man nowadays. Every little light cuff gets interpreted as abuse. I'll tell you what's abusive--not having dinner on the table when I get home from my job, where I work all damn day to put a roof over your head!
God, if you love men so much why don't you go have sex with them Mister Mister.
Yes there is. Never masturbate 6 times before you're supposed to have sex with your girlfriend, not a good idea.
As bad as it is for that to happen (been there, by the way) the worst is when you absolutely have to and you can't. That crazy kind of riled up where it's completely all-consuming and you know you'd only last about 3 strokes... but you're at work.
Fuck, I hate that.
Werrick on
"Civilized men are more discourteous than savages because they know they can be rude without having their skulls split, as a general thing."
I heard girls can actually learn to masturbate without using their hands.
Yeah, it's not terribly uncommon for a girl's first masturbatory experience to involve something other than her hands. The water faucet in the bathtub and the arm of the couch are a couple of common culprits.
What I actually meant was "without touching themselves or letting themselves be touched by random objects". They can do it with the muscles in their lower body or something.
Ferrus on
I would like to pause for a moment, to talk about my penis.
My penis is like a toddler. A toddler—who is a perfectly normal size for his age—on a long road trip to what he thinks is Disney World. My penis is excited because he hasn’t been to Disney World in a long, long time, but remembers a time when he used to go every day. So now the penis toddler is constantly fidgeting, whining “Are we there yet? Are we there yet? How about now? Now? How about... now?”
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.
Posts
Hahahaha, exactly.
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
Fuck off.
my boyfriend was less than impressed.
Haha! Being gay does have a down side!
Well...
I'm not even going to go there.
anyway, back to my fapping.
Funniest moment of my depressingly short sex life, "What the hell was that?"
I don't think it's something they regularly teach in health class.
If you're that worried, shear'em or shave'em.
Knit a sweater!
That's it
This is the funniest thread I've ever read in D&D
Ever
PSN ID : DetectiveOlivaw | TWITTER | STEAM ID | NEVER FORGET
Rock Band DLC | GW:OttW - arrcd | WLD - Thortar
Man, you had the shitty health classes then. We learned that apparently Peter North can lift a towel like that (ie - one hanging off his dick). Ahh, Catholic School, such a rich experience.
Then again, I don't even really have to justify it anymore. It feels good and it releases stress. Anything that does either (especially at the same time) is okay in my book.
Wanking helped Johnny Drama act.
How dare your female relatives have an enjoyable sex life. What a bag of sluts. You should beat them more, clearly.
:roll:
I can only do the right one, for some reason.
Balls are freaking weird. The whole male genitalia is very inefficiently designed.
IOS Game Center ID: Isotope-X
Yes there is. Never masturbate 6 times before you're supposed to have sex with your girlfriend, not a good idea.
Well, to be fair, I think he was just have the ooglies at the fact that someone in his nuclear family was getting their rocks off. I mean, his ooglies were probably worse because it was his sister, but hell, I'd be kind of grossed out by my brother or my dad's sex life.
I agree that being hyper-"protective" of daughters is a terrible social phenomenon, but I took the post to be more about the heebie-jeebies we get whenever we picture the private lives of those close to us.
It is horribly, horribly immature to give any more of a fuck about your relatives' sex lives than anyone else's.
Unless they're ugly.
Oh, I know. But it's still more morally upstanding than hating on women.
Cool egalitarian philosophers are totally into social justice for the ugly.
But seriously folks, I'm not sure if it's a female thing I'm uncomfortable knowing about my brother's sex life just like my sisters' and am uncomfortable should I catch a revealing glimpse of my brother's girlfriends by virtue of their assosciation with my brother.
I think it has more to do with the fact that there is some shit you shouldn't say to your buddy. If you're dating (or have dated ) your friend's sister it's not cool to go telling him what an awesome cocksucker she is.
I'm not sure what Death of Rats point was, but if it was my sister and my buddy said that to me I probably wouldn't appreciate it.
EDIT - But good show on the immediately painting him as an abusing mysoginist.
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
Well, yes, it's silly--though people who have hangups about everyone else's sex life can still have quite lively ones of their own.
Heh... I get a kick out of the differences in how men and women see this kind of thing. I'm always reminded of that Seinfeld episode when they're talking about their junk and Elaine says "I don't know how you guys walk around with those things."
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
God, it is so hard to be a man nowadays. Every little light cuff gets interpreted as abuse. I'll tell you what's abusive--not having dinner on the table when I get home from my job, where I work all damn day to put a roof over your head!
Maybe his mum's ugly?
Or he fears that the reason his nose is kind of sideways is some sort of pre-natal injury...
ITT Werrick fails at spotting sarcastic asides.
God, if you love men so much why don't you go have sex with them Mister Mister.
As bad as it is for that to happen (been there, by the way) the worst is when you absolutely have to and you can't. That crazy kind of riled up where it's completely all-consuming and you know you'd only last about 3 strokes... but you're at work.
Fuck, I hate that.
-Robert E. Howard
Tower of the Elephant
What I actually meant was "without touching themselves or letting themselves be touched by random objects". They can do it with the muscles in their lower body or something.
And Disney World is nowhere in sight.