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I hate everyone on the [Food Network]
Dread Pirate Arbuthnot
OMG WRIGGLYT O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
OMG WRIGGLYT O X O P L A S M O S I SRegistered User regular
The Food Network has some great recipes and I guess you can watch the shows to learn more about how to prepare food. But we all know that the best part about the Food Network is the reality tv shows and the relentless judging of the hosts.
Guy Fieri is fucking everywhere and I hate his dumb hair and his stupid face. He hosts five shows and I don't know who his target demographic is but I hate him so much. Seriously where did he come from he needs to shut up. He's actually kind of the male
I don't think there's anything new that can be said about Rachel "add some evoo for a yummo meal (i'm not a cheffie)" Ray. But I think it's hilarious how tons of other food network hosts want to be like her.
Now easily this lady is the best food network personality ever
She's totally a swinger and she and her weedy little husband totally make big elaborate meals that are delicious before proceeding to spouse swap and fuck as the baked beans and herb encrusted chickens cool in the kitchen. I love her, I want to be Ina Garten when I grow up.
Also Food Network is amazing to watch when you are high.
Guy Fieri is fucking everywhere and I hate his dumb hair and his stupid face. He hosts five shows and I don't know who his target demographic is but I hate him so much. Seriously where did he come from he needs to shut up. He's actually kind of the male
I don't think there's anything new that can be said about Rachel "add some evoo for a yummo meal (i'm not a cheffie)" Ray. But I think it's hilarious how tons of other food network hosts want to be like her.
Now easily this lady is the best food network personality ever
She's totally a swinger and she and her weedy little husband totally make big elaborate meals that are delicious before proceeding to spouse swap and fuck as the baked beans and herb encrusted chickens cool in the kitchen. I love her, I want to be Ina Garten when I grow up.
Also Food Network is amazing to watch when you are high.
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I met Alton Brown once. He was very nice. He is awesome but I have nothing scathing or salacious to say about him. I cannot even picture him having lady-relations with his wife, you know? He probably cooks her a delicious dinner and they read the newspaper on the front porch then sleep in separate beds.
and don't forget Giada, who has a travel themed show that's whole premise is "Giada is so wealthy and pretty, let's watch her jet around the mediterranean!"
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I think it depends what time of day it is
However, the ring will never leave your finger, and you will be unable to ever describe to another living person what you see.
I was actually going to go off on a huge tangent about how obnoxious that is, about how Giada clearly wants to be Rachael Ray v2.0
And then there's Sunny Anderson I think, she has a cooking show and then she does some edutational "How'd That Get On My Plate" and I think she looks so tired on that show, like she desperately wants to get the exotic travel show or perhaps the folksy local America diners show and she knows she is just paying her dues before she can do anything, which gives How'd That Get On My Plate an entertaining spin as the story of watching a woman struggle through her distate for her work to try to entertain people at home.
holy run-on
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The one with big muffins.
although I give the older one credit for one thing
they were at this bakery, and were watching the guy prepare some kind of cake thing, and as he pulls like 13lbs of butter out of the fridge Paula's son says what everyone was thinking: It'd make momma proud
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My ex girlfriend bought me all the old episodes and after watching like half of them I was finally convinced.
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by which I mean vagina
and then the room where cooking takes place
Hey bro, I'm Leo Hernandez, thanks for finding my iPod. You can just send it back my way.
I tried to make a comparable metaphor for what I'd like to do to Alton Brown, but I couldn't.
I would if I could, though. If you know what I mean.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
and then lick off the batter from making cookies?
woman I am drunk I can make all sorts of metaphors right now
all of them
except cops
cops can stay
BAD BOYS
whereas iron chef america's secret ingredients are like chicken, or garlic. but that show has alton brown so it is alright by me.
I'd have to say I like Iron Chef America a lot more.
Even though Bobby Flay puts mango and corn in goddamn everything.
Yessss what you said. About the cookies.
I miss Cops. There is no Korean equivalent for it, and that makes me sad.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
Fuuuck that guy. He's such a douchebag.
I don't know anything about bobby flay aside from the fact that his voice is really annoying and he has the ability to make one facial expression
He comes off as a giant jerk, though.
"Sandra has a good solid anti-murderer vibe. My skin felt very secure and sufficiently attached to my body when I met her. Also my organs." HAIL SATAN
BROWN.
LAWSON.
Also I wish some other chefs were on food network rather than fine living, like Mario Batali. He's rad.
I used to watch that a lot with my uncle (he's an awesome cook, used to run a catering business). Quality show.
I've been meaning to make some macaroni and cheese from scratch (well, not the macaroni) since I saw the episode about it.
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