On Sundays I play in a Pathfinder Tabletop game group. We are currently running Skulls and Shackles, a pirate themed adventure path.
So yesterday the group was crossing a deserted island in search of fresh water to resupply our ship with. We find an abandoned village, some undead camping in a swamp, and then an overgrown field of corn. The group was excited for the corn, because fresh food isn't something pirates see a lot of.
I said to the party, "Guys if we could harvest this corn do you have any idea how much we could sell it for?"
The party said, "No, but you have the Appraise skill trained, do you know?"
"Yeah, about a buck an ear!"
Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
When I read it this morning I had literally just woken up, so I was very bleary and my judgment a little clouded, so at first I thought it had to be a very simple joke and that I just didn't get it because I hadn't had coffee yet. So I posted it verbatim, hoping somebody would explain it to me.
When I read it this morning I had literally just woken up, so I was very bleary and my judgment a little clouded, so at first I thought it had to be a very simple joke and that I just didn't get it because I hadn't had coffee yet. So I posted it verbatim, hoping somebody would explain it to me.
I'm glad to see it wasn't just me.
Yeah, like...the joke would be "better" if it was just "What word sounds sort of like clam? Calamity. HA HA HA HA HA"
Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
Look, I love puns. I love good puns. I love bad puns. Other than being able to hear "clam" in "calamity" I don't understand anything in that joke. I thought maybe there was a joke around the number, but can't figure it out. Maybe there was something with the Walrus I just didn't grasp.
Trying to locate the joke on Google comes up with very few hits, except what might be a definitive link to one of the sources for the calendar: http://badpets.net/Humor/Jokes/Jokes1.html
(Some of the others on the page look very familiar...)
If he specifically sorted them by quality and then picked the worst ones
This is the one instance where I'd accuse the calendar writer of some degree of cleverness. He clearly knows that if you plagiarize the best material, someone's going to figure out you're cheating. By using crappy jokes no one would go out of their way to look into further, he reduces his chances of getting caught.
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"How does Moses make his coffee?"
"Hebrews it"
Feet are just shoes the skeleton that lives inside you wear
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Steam: Chagrin LoL: Bonhomie
Mostly dead? Or all-dead.
There's a big difference.
A fine line by Jaden Smith.
Q: What do you call it when a walrus eats 1,000 clams?
A: A calamity.
So yesterday the group was crossing a deserted island in search of fresh water to resupply our ship with. We find an abandoned village, some undead camping in a swamp, and then an overgrown field of corn. The group was excited for the corn, because fresh food isn't something pirates see a lot of.
I said to the party, "Guys if we could harvest this corn do you have any idea how much we could sell it for?"
The party said, "No, but you have the Appraise skill trained, do you know?"
"Yeah, about a buck an ear!"
No part of this joke makes sense.
I'm glad to see it wasn't just me.
If not, why walrus? Why 'calamity' and not, at least 'clamity'?
Yeah, like...the joke would be "better" if it was just "What word sounds sort of like clam? Calamity. HA HA HA HA HA"
I think it's supposed to be "calamity" = "clam eat-y".
But... why a walrus? Why was that necessary to the joke?
DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS?
And why specifically a thousand? Is there some uncommon synonym for 'a thousand' that makes this all line up?
Skidoo!
I think we're supposed to make the link between Walrus and Manatee, somehow?
Clam-Manatee?
...
No, I still can't see it.
Wasn't it a Carpenter? And Oysters?
Look, I love puns. I love good puns. I love bad puns. Other than being able to hear "clam" in "calamity" I don't understand anything in that joke. I thought maybe there was a joke around the number, but can't figure it out. Maybe there was something with the Walrus I just didn't grasp.
Trying to locate the joke on Google comes up with very few hits, except what might be a definitive link to one of the sources for the calendar:
http://badpets.net/Humor/Jokes/Jokes1.html
(Some of the others on the page look very familiar...)
If he specifically sorted them by quality and then picked the worst ones
I see several on there that are far worse than what we have seen on the calendar so far!
Wait. That doesn't bode well for the rest of the year.
Steam // Secret Satan
Maybe it's a joke about it being a calamity - a terrible event - for clams.
Like did your hear about the Hindenburg? Oh the humanity!
So you're saying it was an inappropriate time for ham?
This is the one instance where I'd accuse the calendar writer of some degree of cleverness. He clearly knows that if you plagiarize the best material, someone's going to figure out you're cheating. By using crappy jokes no one would go out of their way to look into further, he reduces his chances of getting caught.
A fine line by Mark Twain...
All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.
Hey, an actual fine line by Mark Twain.
Calendar Writer took this one to heart
That's how he was able to slap Mark Twain's name on all the others
-Indiana Solo, runner of blades
I hate you