I don't have a rap name but two black guys at my wedding did have a rap battle to determine which one would get to be "my black friend" so that was great.
This feels like a scene from the Not Another Teen Movie Sequel
So the front door of this building has four doors (two sets of two)
for some reason when you swipe your badge on the entry thing, it will only open one of the two sets of doors, and only one of those doors in the set
so all morning I've been seeing people swipe their badges, yank on one of the doors, try the other door, and then just get annoyed and wave frantically at me to let them in
+1
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3cl1ps3I will build a labyrinth to house the cheeseRegistered Userregular
I don't have a rap name but two black guys at my wedding did have a rap battle to determine which one would get to be "my black friend" so that was great.
This feels like a scene from the Not Another Teen Movie Sequel
It's even funnier (to me) because they were not the only black people there.
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Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
I saw an article on the Washington Post about being American now and they have people from each state. "Sure," I think, "Let's see what bad person they've got for my state."
Oh how I hate our quality department. They don't know how to read prints but that's fine since they don't know to measure parts either. They sure love to claim that things on the print aren't on the print and they shouldn't have to measure them.
It would help if they hadn't basically destroyed my bosses faith in all CMM measurements with their constant fuck ups.
Stoner guy rambling about how he's such a good worker and that his former coworkers want him back because he's so fast and does so much work. Every time he calls out the entire mailroom talks about how much work he doesn't do and all the mistakes he made that they're cleaning up.
Hello Dunning-Krueger how are you?
EDIT: Stoner guy now rambling about how he's going to buy a parking garage and get rich that way because "it won't cost much, only have to pay one person, and don't need water or much electricity."
Last night I was imagining a scenario in which I had somehow been transported back to the middle ages and was trying to describe life in the future to some random peasant farmer (someone interviewed on NPR was talking about how people don't really grok what nuclear weapons do, and one thing led to another because my brain is weird like that).
I ended up telling him about how I had all this amazing stuff at my fingertips, and yet basically wasted my life.
My girlfriend and I consciously decided that we weren't going to get caught up in bodily function hang ups. Unfortunately, most of my gas is fairly quiet, leading her to feel like she's the only one participating, and me to trying to force noisy farts.
So I have spent the past year or so cleaning up the errors and exceptions from an automated system. I've felt all along that maybe the volume of errors was a bit high, but just kept on going.
Today I had a few extra minutes so I decided to run some queries. Turns out in 2017 I processed 22,000 activations, the automated system did 900ish - so it has about a 95% failure rate for the year. I was able to figure out what was broken (it was something setup wrong by a person higher up).
So the good news, I found why I've been so goddamned busy. The bad news is that I'll have to help fix things.
The assholeish secretary I've complained about here before sent a 'polite reminder' to use saying that we need to restock the office supplies more frequently. Maybe a little brusque, but I understand. But she also copied the office manager and the head partner of the firm, which seems unnecessary.
Also when I've sent emails out before notifiying the office that the FedEx pickup is coming earlier (due to weather), she likes to reply to the entire office saying what time the pickup normally is. Lady, I know that, that's why I'm sending an email saying it will be coming earlier.
FishmanPut your goddamned hand in the goddamned Box of Pain.Registered Userregular
I booked today off so that I can have a 4-day weekend with the regional holiday Monday.
Sitting at home at a time when I'd normally be getting ready to go to the office, I get a hurried text from a mate who usually takes a train before mine. There's a breakdown, all services stopped, multiple lines affected, extra holiday weekend traffic is cascading into a clusterfuck on the motorway into town and he's wondering what I'm planning.
For the Annals of Unfortunate Names, I would like to present one Harry Seaman for judgement.
I was looking over the guest arrivals for tomorrow and I couldn't stop myself from laughing when I read this name.
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WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
I have two new night supervisors that I've been training/coaching the last few days, and while doing so at one point had that realisation that fuck, I'm training bosses now.
I walked into the back office a little later and all of corporate management was in there, all giving me that proud "our boy's all grown up" look.
+33
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Donovan PuppyfuckerA dagger in the dark isworth a thousand swords in the morningRegistered Userregular
I'm working from home today. I happened to remember months ago seeing an online recipe for breakfast ramen and it just so happened I had all the stuff in the house to make it. So my breakfast was this glorious mess:
Remember that sexist racist boss they removed from site?
Yeah they gave him control of a different site.
He ran around making Hitler jokes, arranged his desktop icons in to a swastika, said things by the minute that would force a Trump appointee to retire, blamed modern society on "a generation of men raised by women" and assured that we'd be better off "if we just killed the liberals" (Muslims too)
Probably a range posting. 100k in CA cities is... Not as much as you think.
"40k if you have 8 roommates, 100k if you can't find a 1 bedroom with 8 roommates to share"
not a doctor, not a lawyer, examples I use may not be fully researched so don't take out of context plz, don't @ me
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EncA Fool with CompassionPronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered Userregular
So today I am spending the entire day tabling an event for my university's College of Business.
The 30 tables or so are about 90% bankers or investment firms recruiting, 10% educational units like mine. In other terms: black suits with red ties, or mottled tweed coats and warm jackets since it is freezing in here.
My personal banker is here from our branch. I waved hi.
High above the rafters, though, there are balconies and box seats. This is being held in our old arena which has been converted into a basketball event space and, occasionally, into a stage.
Standing above us all, watching, is a man in the otherwise darkened box seats. He looks precisely like santa if he were wearing a blue hoodie.
He is always watching. Its been two hours now. He hasn't moved except to pace back and forth with his hands folded behind him like the admiral of a star destroyer.
Couldn't go to work yesterday because work was closed due to weather. Was told to take my laptop home, but to not work until given direct authorization to work from home. Authorization was not communicated to me, so I spent the day fighting AT-ATs and Stormtroopers.
Today my boss told me that apparently authorization had been given, just not communicated well, so I should claim 8 hours on my timesheet, despite the fact that my boss knew I did no work.
I am ok with this.
Before following any advice, opinions, or thoughts I may have expressed in the above post, be warned: I found Keven Costners "Waterworld" to be a very entertaining film.
It takes a long time for Santa to get around and check on everyone, so he has to make a start somewhere.
Are you sure you're being good?
The one about the fucking space hairdresser and the cowboy. He's got a tinfoil pal and a pedal bin
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EncA Fool with CompassionPronouns: He, Him, HisRegistered Userregular
The amount of swag I brought probably is equivalent to what Santa carries around. So if not he now knows he isn't the only game in town.
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Librarian's ghostLibrarian, Ghostbuster, and TimSporkRegistered Userregular
I've closed the library today so that JROTC can host part of a blood drive. They also have a van outside doing some of it. Since we are smaller than last year and the shelves have been rearranged, there is less open space to set up, hence the van.
I overheard this big red cross guy say, "Yeah because we are so overflowing with space," in a sarcastic tone and I'm thinking, fuck you dude we can just not have it in here at all if you want and I can have an open library instead. How would that be for your extra space then?
Posts
This feels like a scene from the Not Another Teen Movie Sequel
for some reason when you swipe your badge on the entry thing, it will only open one of the two sets of doors, and only one of those doors in the set
so all morning I've been seeing people swipe their badges, yank on one of the doors, try the other door, and then just get annoyed and wave frantically at me to let them in
It's even funnier (to me) because they were not the only black people there.
Click on it.
It is a teacher I know.
Weird.
It's...kind of amusing to listen to
It would help if they hadn't basically destroyed my bosses faith in all CMM measurements with their constant fuck ups.
Hello Dunning-Krueger how are you?
EDIT: Stoner guy now rambling about how he's going to buy a parking garage and get rich that way because "it won't cost much, only have to pay one person, and don't need water or much electricity."
ok
I ended up telling him about how I had all this amazing stuff at my fingertips, and yet basically wasted my life.
tl;dr I audibly farted in the office kitchen.
lol :rotate:
Today I had a few extra minutes so I decided to run some queries. Turns out in 2017 I processed 22,000 activations, the automated system did 900ish - so it has about a 95% failure rate for the year. I was able to figure out what was broken (it was something setup wrong by a person higher up).
So the good news, I found why I've been so goddamned busy. The bad news is that I'll have to help fix things.
Also when I've sent emails out before notifiying the office that the FedEx pickup is coming earlier (due to weather), she likes to reply to the entire office saying what time the pickup normally is. Lady, I know that, that's why I'm sending an email saying it will be coming earlier.
Sitting at home at a time when I'd normally be getting ready to go to the office, I get a hurried text from a mate who usually takes a train before mine. There's a breakdown, all services stopped, multiple lines affected, extra holiday weekend traffic is cascading into a clusterfuck on the motorway into town and he's wondering what I'm planning.
:cool:
I was looking over the guest arrivals for tomorrow and I couldn't stop myself from laughing when I read this name.
I walked into the back office a little later and all of corporate management was in there, all giving me that proud "our boy's all grown up" look.
"WE HAVE LOCATED THE VOLCANO OF HEALING. ANAKIN, LET US REMOVE YOUR MACHINE PARTS THAT YOU MAY BE MADE WHOLE AGAIN."
"BEHOLD AS MY MIRACULOUS GLOWSTICKS REATTACH THIS MAN'S HEAD!"
I don't narc anyone out, but those students may be high as shit
The finale of the movie is where they bring Christopher Lee back to life so he may kidnap the emperor and save the galaxy.
Satans..... hints.....
It clearly could not handle the power of THE MIGHTY AFRICAN SUN. Or it was built/installed by clowns. Either one is plausible.
"Have you tried using less solar?"
oh, yeah, they're not rated for an uncontrolled fusion reaction
try using a smaller star
I feel like I should understand this, but these numbers confuse me. What are these numbers?
Have a velocity raptor
Yeah they gave him control of a different site.
He ran around making Hitler jokes, arranged his desktop icons in to a swastika, said things by the minute that would force a Trump appointee to retire, blamed modern society on "a generation of men raised by women" and assured that we'd be better off "if we just killed the liberals" (Muslims too)
And the motherfucker got a promotion.
"40k if you have 8 roommates, 100k if you can't find a 1 bedroom with 8 roommates to share"
The 30 tables or so are about 90% bankers or investment firms recruiting, 10% educational units like mine. In other terms: black suits with red ties, or mottled tweed coats and warm jackets since it is freezing in here.
My personal banker is here from our branch. I waved hi.
High above the rafters, though, there are balconies and box seats. This is being held in our old arena which has been converted into a basketball event space and, occasionally, into a stage.
Standing above us all, watching, is a man in the otherwise darkened box seats. He looks precisely like santa if he were wearing a blue hoodie.
He is always watching. Its been two hours now. He hasn't moved except to pace back and forth with his hands folded behind him like the admiral of a star destroyer.
Today my boss told me that apparently authorization had been given, just not communicated well, so I should claim 8 hours on my timesheet, despite the fact that my boss knew I did no work.
I am ok with this.
Are you sure you're being good?
I overheard this big red cross guy say, "Yeah because we are so overflowing with space," in a sarcastic tone and I'm thinking, fuck you dude we can just not have it in here at all if you want and I can have an open library instead. How would that be for your extra space then?
They blasted some falloutboy as a sound test and now they are angry. The birds are attacking the presenter area behind the curtains.
There is screaming.