My boss just found out about my criminal record (and other tales of employment)

FAQ

the obvious conclusion is that books are gay

B.C.

Cold Salmon and Hatred wrote: »

B.C. wrote: »

One week ago, my leave of absence from Subway was over and I was supposed to physically report to that Subway in order to check in and resume my job.

I arrive at that Subway and they are closed for remodeling. This leaves me a little worried about the status of my job. I call the corporate offices and get the number of the new manager, call the new manager, and receive no reply.

Today they reopen for business, and I walk in to speak to the manager.

I will not be given my job back, as according to the terms of the leave of absence, not reporting to the store on the day required counts as voluntarily leaving the store, and they have a no re-hiring policy.

FUCK Subway.

dude mine is remodeling right now

waoooohawagh

I'm fairly sure it's an ongoing campaign.

coldbird.

no,

but selling books is

Cold Salmon and Hatred

B.C. wrote: »

Cold Salmon and Hatred wrote: »

B.C. wrote: »

One week ago, my leave of absence from Subway was over and I was supposed to physically report to that Subway in order to check in and resume my job.

I arrive at that Subway and they are closed for remodeling. This leaves me a little worried about the status of my job. I call the corporate offices and get the number of the new manager, call the new manager, and receive no reply.

Today they reopen for business, and I walk in to speak to the manager.

I will not be given my job back, as according to the terms of the leave of absence, not reporting to the store on the day required counts as voluntarily leaving the store, and they have a no re-hiring policy.

FUCK Subway.

dude mine is remodeling right now

waoooohawagh

I'm fairly sure it's an ongoing campaign.

no we totally live in the same city

xWonderboyx

I work for the Navy. I get paid to take it in me bum.

B.C.

Zot if we lived in the same city I am sure I'd hunt you down and kick you in the nards.

Cold Salmon and Hatred

lick me in the nards

B.C.

Well if you live in Tucson you don't need any one specific to lick you in the nards.

coldbird.

you know what dawns on you when you go to somewhere like wal-mart

the average person is fucking ugly

Cold Salmon and Hatred

hell yeah coldbird

but kids are pretty

so I am looking forward to working in the toy section there

(inappropriately hilarious winky here)

Agent Vesago

My company is outsourcing my job to Poland.

My job is to train the guys who are taking my job, how to do my job.
My job is in a constant state of flux right now.
At any moment I could get laid off or get shipped to Poland for further training.

Then get laid off.
Either way the layoff is going to happen.

xWonderboyx

Cold Salmon and Hatred wrote: »

lick me in the nards

Funny story, a guy on my boat actually licked another guy's balls for some signatures.

To clarify, signatures are fucking gold on a submarine. Your first year is spent qualifying watches and stuff and if you get behind the high command will kick your ass and make you work longer hours so you can catch back up. The licker in question was about to be behind as we were pulling into a port and he really didn't want to miss out on any drunken shenanigans so he was willing to do whatever it took to not be stuck on the boat.

Good times.

FAQ

coldbird. wrote: »

you know what dawns on you when you go to somewhere like wal-mart

the average person is fucking ugly

you know what dawns on you working in a place like that, that people are not only ugly

but a good quarter of them are out of their fucking minds

Cold Salmon and Hatred

I really love directing people to stuff that is literally right in front of them

Redeemer

Tossrock wrote: »

I get paid too much and do too little

It makes me feel bad

but also good

Hate you

I have so much responsibility at my new job and I think I'm already developing an anxiety problem

Druhim

Auntie Shibby wrote: »

I'm been sending in my resume at jobs left and right. I honestly don't know why I don't have a job. Resume behind spoilers

Objective: Responsible, detailed oriented, self-starter seeks full or part time employment.
*
*
*
*
*
Work Experience

Albertsons
February 2006 to June 2007
Butcher Block Clerk/Supervisor
Carlsbad, Ca
Assisted customers in selecting meat products while creating a friendly and comfortable environment. Answered any and all questions regarding our product. Opened and closed meat department, assisted in ordering and managing product, preparing product for sale.
*
Patti's Hallmark
July 2005 to January 2006
Sales Associate
Carlsbad, Ca
Provided a clean, friendly, and inviting environment. Maintained merchandise by sorting, organizing and displaying product. Assisted customers in choosing the right product. Handled monies by running cash register. Opening and closing store in manager's absence.
*
Tuesday Morning
June 2004 to July 2005/July 2007 to June 2008
Sales Associate
Visalia, Ca
Carlsbad, Ca
Provided a clean, organized, friendly, environment for customers. Assisted customers in looking for the products they were seeking. Handled monies by running cash register. Maintained merchandise by sorting, organizing and displaying product. Unloaded weekly trucks of new product and unpacked and organized new product.

Education

Palomar Community College
2005-2006

Redwood High School
2001-2004
Diploma

this is late and I don't know if anyone else covered this, but your objective is too vague
you're basically just saying, hey I want work I'll take anything
and while that may be true of you, it's not what you actually want to say

either target a specific type of work, or adjust your objective for each type of industry you're applying in and try to find a way to tie it to your experience

but just saying, "I want a job, any job" is going to get you ignored

neville

Teaching Assistant for game design class.
weee

IpseDixit

Janson wrote: »

I am leaving my place of employment in just over a week

Hoping I can get temporary work

Janson, where I'm working is currently hiring.

IpseDixit

Druhim wrote: »

Auntie Shibby wrote: »

I'm been sending in my resume at jobs left and right. I honestly don't know why I don't have a job. Resume behind spoilers

Objective: Responsible, detailed oriented, self-starter seeks full or part time employment.
*
*
*
*
*
Work Experience

Albertsons
February 2006 to June 2007
Butcher Block Clerk/Supervisor
Carlsbad, Ca
Assisted customers in selecting meat products while creating a friendly and comfortable environment. Answered any and all questions regarding our product. Opened and closed meat department, assisted in ordering and managing product, preparing product for sale.
*
Patti's Hallmark
July 2005 to January 2006
Sales Associate
Carlsbad, Ca
Provided a clean, friendly, and inviting environment. Maintained merchandise by sorting, organizing and displaying product. Assisted customers in choosing the right product. Handled monies by running cash register. Opening and closing store in manager's absence.
*
Tuesday Morning
June 2004 to July 2005/July 2007 to June 2008
Sales Associate
Visalia, Ca
Carlsbad, Ca
Provided a clean, organized, friendly, environment for customers. Assisted customers in looking for the products they were seeking. Handled monies by running cash register. Maintained merchandise by sorting, organizing and displaying product. Unloaded weekly trucks of new product and unpacked and organized new product.

Education

Palomar Community College
2005-2006

Redwood High School
2001-2004
Diploma

this is late and I don't know if anyone else covered this, but your objective is too vague
you're basically just saying, hey I want work I'll take anything
and while that may be true of you, it's not what you actually want to say

either target a specific type of work, or adjust your objective for each type of industry you're applying in and try to find a way to tie it to your experience

but just saying, "I want a job, any job" is going to get you ignored

Also say that you're looking for stable long term employment. Most companies don't want to hire people who they're going to have to replace in 6 months.

neville

bowen wrote: »

My boss told me I don't do any work and he was sick and tired of it and was going to hire someone to replace me. I burnt my bridge in the most glorious fashion by proving everything I did to the company, some of the clients I helped him keep because of my excellent PR work, and then said "I guess that leaves me no choice but to do this..." and handed him my printed resignation that I printed a day earlier. I wiped the computer clear of all my personal code and research I did on personal time with my own property (not work property) and then gave him all of the compiled binaries he paid me for that I did do on my personal time because I in no way gave him source code ever. I cleaned the computer and stuff a day earlier and sent an email as we were discussing the problem.

The secretary was his niece and she had been pretty bitchy all of a sudden so I'm not sure what the problem was. She basically was going off on how I never did any work and then he got wind of it and had to talk to me about it. Turns out he went out of business a few months ago. I'm sure not related to me because he fucking lied to all his clients, all the time.

You're lucky your boss was an idiot then, because in many companies -- especially a larger one -- you would have bought yourself a ticket to court. If you do work on company time, especially AT the company, in almost all cases, they own it. Wiping source code is tantamount to setting fire to shit they paid you to make.

Beyond that, your story doesn't make you sound good, just like a petty jackass.
I'd never hire someone who acted like you did.

Fiz

My current resume uses tables and everything. It is based around my music work, so it can't be formatted the same as one you'd submit to JC Penny's.



I can't tell if that is legible or not on regular resolutions. I hope not. Anyways, it got me a great job performing on the gayest stage ever

Nuzak

Redeemer wrote: »

Tossrock wrote: »

I get paid too much and do too little

It makes me feel bad

but also good

Hate you

I have so much responsibility at my new job and I think I'm already developing an anxiety problem

snap

start stalking from office to office with an armalite

mully

my job is starting to look up up up
because i have a new boss and the old one is gone gone gone

Grey Ghost

I was a lifeguard this summer
And also the summer before that
and the summer before that I scooped ice cream

That is all

DrZiplock

Regarding resume objectives? Most schools of thought now say you don't need one.

If you're submitting a resume, it's safe to assume you're looking for a job. The cover letter is far more important.

Moriveth

DrZ, I say with no hesitation that I can't wait for you to get Mercs 2

the game is a little buggy and holy crap dialogue repeats a lot

but nothing

nothing beats the sheer joy of driving around in a monster truck with ROCKET BOOSTED JUMPS

Skull Man

I cook pizzas

Tossrock

Redeemer wrote: »

Tossrock wrote: »

I get paid too much and do too little

It makes me feel bad

but also good

Hate you

I have so much responsibility at my new job and I think I'm already developing an anxiety problem

Don't worry, I hate me too

and I'm developing an anxiety problem based around the thought of someone realizing I'm totally worthless

good thing I only have two weeks left

Redeemer

Mully wrote: »

my job is starting to look up up up
because i have a new boss and the old one is gone gone gone

A good boss can make all the difference

I have two

The one that told me he couldn't hire me because of my murder conviction

And one that is incredibly buff, has an earring, and when I met him he was wearing a really low v-neck t-shirt. Surprisingly he has a girlfriend

The point is, I touched his shoulder today

Redeemer

Tossrock wrote: »

Redeemer wrote: »

Tossrock wrote: »

I get paid too much and do too little

It makes me feel bad

but also good

Hate you

I have so much responsibility at my new job and I think I'm already developing an anxiety problem

Don't worry, I hate me too

and I'm developing an anxiety problem based around the thought of someone realizing I'm totally worthless

good thing I only have two weeks left

Where was this dream internship again?

Skull Man

dang deemer I didn't know you murdered someone

Redeemer

Sometimes children can only push you so far

Skull Man

I see

Tossrock

Redeemer wrote: »

Tossrock wrote: »

Redeemer wrote: »

Tossrock wrote: »

I get paid too much and do too little

It makes me feel bad

but also good

Hate you

I have so much responsibility at my new job and I think I'm already developing an anxiety problem

Don't worry, I hate me too

and I'm developing an anxiety problem based around the thought of someone realizing I'm totally worthless

good thing I only have two weeks left

Where was this dream internship again?

:whistle:

Brodo Faggins

ldraw wrote: »

I envy those who work. I was a student for 4 years. Now I'm a student for 3 more. All the work, none of the income.

Try being an unpaid intern. More and more of the work, with less of the education, for less of the income, because I'm spending so much GODDAMN MONEY ON GAS FUCK

Redeemer

Tossrock wrote: »

Redeemer wrote: »

Tossrock wrote: »

Redeemer wrote: »

Tossrock wrote: »

I get paid too much and do too little

It makes me feel bad

but also good

Hate you

I have so much responsibility at my new job and I think I'm already developing an anxiety problem

Don't worry, I hate me too

and I'm developing an anxiety problem based around the thought of someone realizing I'm totally worthless

good thing I only have two weeks left

Oh yeah

Where was this dream internship again?

:whistle:

oh right

Redeemer

Unpaid internships should be illegal

Tossrock

I'm going to get to spend my newfound wealth on all sorts of cool things

like rent

and food

thanks, mom and pop

Fiz

I'm gonna use my money from the church job to get a vespa

Then use the money from lyric opera to get it customized to be the deadpool-scooter

As7

Mully wrote: »

my job is starting to look up up up
because i have a new boss and the old one is gone gone gone

What's the new boss like?

I'm guessing he's not as spineless.