I have a rude as heck question because I am old and lack vocabulary so hopefully y'all don't mind me asking here so I am not rude when I actually interact with someone who identifies this way.
Do we consider people who think they are multiple people part of the queer community and what is the non-rude terminology for that? Not two-spirit but what I would describe as a fairly harmless form of self-diagnosed schizophrenia. I've run into a handful online now (in discords populated by much younger folks) and while I think it's bizarre they don't seem to be hurting anyone so my default response is to let them identify however they want but I haven't interacted because well, I'm afraid I'd come off poorly.
So yeah I would agree largely no from earlier. I have only ever heard it called dissociative identity disorder. That said I am an old, and a therapist so that might just be a reflection of the bubble I am in. That said the question gets interesting as gender (along with many other spots) can vary between the system of people in that body. Man we really need better language around that. So ask if they identify with it and go with that I think? Yeah I like that answer.
Shizophrenia would have nothing to do with this one way or the other. It doesn't work the wayedia makes you think it works is the short version.
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Erin The RedThe Name's Erin! Woman, Podcaster, Dungeon Master, IT nerd, Parent, Trans. AMABaton Rouge, LARegistered Userregular
Grief from losing my mom in January comes in vast and powerful waves.
Yesterday morning (my time) had me bawling on the floor under my desk.
And then yesterday afternoon (my time) the other shoe from SCOTUS dropped.
WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
Not much new with me, really. Busted out the eyeshadow the other night for the first time in a bit, hair keeps getting longer (the tangles sometimes, I broke a hairbrush!) and I tore one of my skirts, AGAIN!
I got a real haircut again for the first time since my friend who cut moved last year. It feels healthier, mostly just leaving it alone, but now it’s purple and with some dry texturizing powder keeping the roots happy and full so that’s exciting. I think this stylist gets it and seemed to be on team “let’s go fight that great clips stylist that traumatized you years ago” so I think I’ll stick with them and a cutting schedule more like you’re supposed to
I STILL don’t know how to do anything with it besides down or pulled back half tucked though.
Not much new with me, really. Busted out the eyeshadow the other night for the first time in a bit, hair keeps getting longer (the tangles sometimes, I broke a hairbrush!) and I tore one of my skirts, AGAIN!
If you have straight hair, conditioner is your friend.
If not, ignore me, I know nothing
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WeaverWho are you?What do you want?Registered Userregular
Oh I use conditioner and leave in stuff and sometimes oils and I spread it to the tips etc, my hair is just apparently a hostile life-form.
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lonelyahavaCall me Ahava ~~She/Her~~Move to New ZealandRegistered Userregular
I'm likely being influenced by instagram and youtube paid promotions
but there's a company out there called I think Foundations of Beauty? *fake edit* Function of Beauty that will apparently do customized shampoos and conditioners for every hair type. Might be maybe worth a look? https://www.functionofbeauty.com/
Plural/plurality/plural systems is the terminology I have seen people self-identify with the most, and I don't think it's a gender or sexuality-related thing in the way that all of the QUILTBAG things are, but it can certainly intersect with other kinds of minority struggles in the sense that it's an unusual way to be that plural people don't seem to have a choice about, merely about whether to be honest about it or not, and can potentially face refusal to understand and stigma for it.
I'm going to chime in and second Plural as the preferred term as I know someone who is a member of that group and have met others in that community through them. The plurality isn't under the big umbrella that is QUILTBAG but I can say that in my experience the few plural people/systems I have met have also been queer in gender and/or sexuality as well, so while they weren't under the banner due to having head-mates, etc, they were still under the banner anyway.
Thank you for the responses everyone I appreciate it.
Edit: I figure for consistency most plural folks would have to be poly as well or that would be miserable.
Hum. What do you mean? It has very much not been my experience but I don't have statistical data in front of me. Most of my personal experience comes from Millennial and older generations while professionally it is Zoomers where it might just not have come up as a thing to process. It could be a huge blind spot for me.
Thank you for the responses everyone I appreciate it.
Edit: I figure for consistency most plural folks would have to be poly as well or that would be miserable.
Would you expect a family of eight kids to be poly? That doesn’t make sense to me, although I really can’t speak personally on the subject.
I think the logic would be every person in the system could want to be with a different person. It is not something I have ever thought of but makes a certain sense from a distance. First Person Plural is a good read that addresses how romance with an individual can look like in real life. My experience is similar in that the people involved have to work together to find a normal that works for everyone. I know my relationship with my beloved spouse improved when the other part of me decided that my beloved spouse was a safe person.
I mentioned my wife and I trying for a baby exactly one entire time before my brain was like, "so we just casually mentioning raw dogging now? Is that what we're doing?" and I promptly stopped mentioning it anymore.
It was sort of in the very near leadup to the end of a relationship of mine (or maybe just after?) and she was talking a lot about a very similar situation. It helped.
our refusal to be exterminated despite centuries of effort is a good argument for homosexuality as a natural-occurring thing. you can kill all the current gays but you'll always be making more babies. we are inevitable.
our refusal to be exterminated despite centuries of effort is a good argument for homosexuality as a natural-occurring thing. you can kill all the current gays but you'll always be making more babies. we are inevitable.
*Makes notes* twinkies, cockroaches, Keith Richards, & quiltbags
Going to be visiting another work location temporarily for training, in a part of the country known for being fairly progressive.
I've decided I'm gonna be out while I'm there. Got a pride mask to wear (I want an extra layer so I don't spread too many germs)
I'm sure you'll all be absolutely shocked to learn that nobody in San Francisco reacted at all to my pride mask, other than to thank me for caring enough about them to mask.
Meanwhile I snagged this queer little shotglass at the airport
twas a good trip
our refusal to be exterminated despite centuries of effort is a good argument for homosexuality as a natural-occurring thing. you can kill all the current gays but you'll always be making more babies. we are inevitable.
*Makes notes* twinkies, cockroaches, Keith Richards, & quiltbags
The recommended shelf-life of a Twinkie is only 25 days.
I keep having dreams where my parents repeatedly misgender and deadname me. A thing my parents never actually do. Brain why must you be this way.
this goes away with time but it took a solid decade or so for my subconscious to stop misgendering or deadnaming me. reprogramming a lifetime of brainmuscle memory takes real effort and is not a thing you should beat yourself up over
Welp, they did. They're very tight.. a little achy/discomfortable and I can't lift my left arm up too high but other than that.. yay!
if it makes you feel better, I definitely can't lift my left arm up too high and I've never had any kind of surgery. so you're not alone.
Houk the Namebringer on
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
I was told not to move my arms for like a month after surgery, but I moved them just a little bit, and I ended up really stretching out my scars. I don't know how it works with +boobs instead of -boobs, but if they advised restricting your arm movement you should really do that they ain't kidding.
I was told not to move my arms for like a month after surgery, but I moved them just a little bit, and I ended up really stretching out my scars. I don't know how it works with +boobs instead of -boobs, but if they advised restricting your arm movement you should really do that they ain't kidding.
From my limited research you need to wear a compression bra and you're not gonna have a fun few weeks but I dont recall seeing anything about arm mobility.
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
The surgeon's advice was to carefully wash hair the morning after and didn't say anything about not moving so different I guess. And yea, compression bra and general tightness and aching so far, outside of lifting arms too high and tweaking incisions.
I'm keeping notes on the process and recovery and useful things so if anyone's curious, AMA.
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I just had urological surgery last week
No not that kind
I am in so much pain right now.
my logic: I prefer the name Pixel, having a name like Pixel will make people more likely to call me they/them than my current birth name,
Planning on doing that in June because pride month.
I am terrified.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
So yeah I would agree largely no from earlier. I have only ever heard it called dissociative identity disorder. That said I am an old, and a therapist so that might just be a reflection of the bubble I am in. That said the question gets interesting as gender (along with many other spots) can vary between the system of people in that body. Man we really need better language around that. So ask if they identify with it and go with that I think? Yeah I like that answer.
Shizophrenia would have nothing to do with this one way or the other. It doesn't work the wayedia makes you think it works is the short version.
That's a good idea. Sending you hugs, friend
I STILL don’t know how to do anything with it besides down or pulled back half tucked though.
If you have straight hair, conditioner is your friend.
If not, ignore me, I know nothing
but there's a company out there called I think Foundations of Beauty? *fake edit* Function of Beauty that will apparently do customized shampoos and conditioners for every hair type. Might be maybe worth a look?
https://www.functionofbeauty.com/
Democrats Abroad! || Vote From Abroad
I'm going to chime in and second Plural as the preferred term as I know someone who is a member of that group and have met others in that community through them. The plurality isn't under the big umbrella that is QUILTBAG but I can say that in my experience the few plural people/systems I have met have also been queer in gender and/or sexuality as well, so while they weren't under the banner due to having head-mates, etc, they were still under the banner anyway.
Edit: I figure for consistency most plural folks would have to be poly as well or that would be miserable.
Hum. What do you mean? It has very much not been my experience but I don't have statistical data in front of me. Most of my personal experience comes from Millennial and older generations while professionally it is Zoomers where it might just not have come up as a thing to process. It could be a huge blind spot for me.
I would not assume that. Being several personas internally probably doesn't imply anything about the system's preferences for a partner or partners.
plus Pixel is a cool name
I think the logic would be every person in the system could want to be with a different person. It is not something I have ever thought of but makes a certain sense from a distance. First Person Plural is a good read that addresses how romance with an individual can look like in real life. My experience is similar in that the people involved have to work together to find a normal that works for everyone. I know my relationship with my beloved spouse improved when the other part of me decided that my beloved spouse was a safe person.
Got my new top and lipstick in. After seeing myself I have now also ordered a choker and some eyeliner.
(Also I need to clean that mirror now that I can see the bigger version of that image)
Saw her live. She was funny it was good.
It was sort of in the very near leadup to the end of a relationship of mine (or maybe just after?) and she was talking a lot about a very similar situation. It helped.
then i remember how much better i have have it then other quiltbags and i seriously can't figure out how we lasted this long
Mostly out of sheer spite, I reckon.
*Makes notes* twinkies, cockroaches, Keith Richards, & quiltbags
I'm sure you'll all be absolutely shocked to learn that nobody in San Francisco reacted at all to my pride mask, other than to thank me for caring enough about them to mask.
Meanwhile I snagged this queer little shotglass at the airport
twas a good trip
The recommended shelf-life of a Twinkie is only 25 days.
Yea I've been getting like that a lot. Only my own brain will maliciously misgender and deadname me, no one else does. Brains are jerks.
Im still having mental conversations where Im Jason and I have to correct myself
this goes away with time but it took a solid decade or so for my subconscious to stop misgendering or deadnaming me. reprogramming a lifetime of brainmuscle memory takes real effort and is not a thing you should beat yourself up over
Welp, they did. They're very tight.. a little achy/discomfortable and I can't lift my left arm up too high but other than that.. yay!
if it makes you feel better, I definitely can't lift my left arm up too high and I've never had any kind of surgery. so you're not alone.
From my limited research you need to wear a compression bra and you're not gonna have a fun few weeks but I dont recall seeing anything about arm mobility.
I'm keeping notes on the process and recovery and useful things so if anyone's curious, AMA.