I continue to progress slowly but steadily towards expressing my feminine side more freely. I've done some first hesitant attempts at voice training, worn nail polish for a couple of weeks, and continued to buy pretty skirts and tops.
I've also come out of the closet to one of my oldest friends! He was nice and supportive about it, though we haven't talked much about it since.
Something important that I'm slowly coming to terms with is the idea that it doesn't have to be an immediate switch to 100% female-presenting. I resisted the thought at first, but the more I think about it the more I feel like it might be fine to spend some time exploring the middle distance. Like, maybe I just tell some friends and/or colleagues that I trust that I'm working through some stuff regarding my gender identity and that I might be wearing some makeup and maybe some feminine clothes when we meet next, without having to go the full distance and have to do everything I can to fully "pass" right away.
Maybe not just yet though, I'm still not even on girl pills, but I think that's something I should start to seriously consider.
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GrogMy sword is only steelin a useful shape.Registered Userregular
With restrictions lifting here, I'm getting used to piloting my meatsuit around and being Perceived Physically again. It was something I was a little worried about- I'd gotten quite comfortable not going out, not shaving my body hair, hadn't even worn a dress the whole time- I wasn't sure if the sudden VISIBILITY would bring dysphoria crashing back down.
Turns out, I feel more comfortable as I've skewed butcher. Instead of feeling self-conscious about the hair on my arms poking up, I'm perfectly happy with my hairy arms swinging free. Walking around in some nice trousers is freeing (especially in this heat, goddamn tights). And I've never felt more like a woman.
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Hi I'm Vee!Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C ERegistered Userregular
I'm in Los Angeles finally, and so extremely pleased to be here, but I'm running up against an issue I hadn't considered back when I came out almost a year ago. Specifically, spending time with people I've come out to, but without having done anything physical about my transition. I'm exceedingly uncomfortable asking people to use she/her pronouns with me when I'm still presenting male. This hasn't been a problem up to now; everyone I was out to (except my family, which is a special case) was online.
I'm hoping to get on hormones pretty soon and goddammit I need to make myself get a voice coach, but until then I feel extremely awkward with some of my closest friends while hanging out with them in person. I'm having them use male pronouns and my original name for now, though I'm wondering if I'll get pushback on that from a friend I'm probably meeting up with this weekend.
Meanwhile lately I've been experiencing an extremely strong increase in my desire to begin my life as a girl. Which at least means I'm not experiencing as much self-doubt these days, but also I'm ready to just...be transitioned, dammit! Or at least midway through my transition.
Said every trans person ever, I suppose...
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MsAnthropyThe Lady of Pain Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the RhythmThe City of FlowersRegistered Userregular
I'm in Los Angeles finally, and so extremely pleased to be here, but I'm running up against an issue I hadn't considered back when I came out almost a year ago. Specifically, spending time with people I've come out to, but without having done anything physical about my transition. I'm exceedingly uncomfortable asking people to use she/her pronouns with me when I'm still presenting male. This hasn't been a problem up to now; everyone I was out to (except my family, which is a special case) was online.
I'm hoping to get on hormones pretty soon and goddammit I need to make myself get a voice coach, but until then I feel extremely awkward with some of my closest friends while hanging out with them in person. I'm having them use male pronouns and my original name for now, though I'm wondering if I'll get pushback on that from a friend I'm probably meeting up with this weekend.
Meanwhile lately I've been experiencing an extremely strong increase in my desire to begin my life as a girl. Which at least means I'm not experiencing as much self-doubt these days, but also I'm ready to just...be transitioned, dammit! Or at least midway through my transition.
Said every trans person ever, I suppose...
Yeah, the period where you have come to know yourself, but you are unable to be yourself is so tough. And I did the same thing re: name and pronouns until I was comfortable presenting femme. For me, having access to a process/support group helped a ton with letting me get comfortable. Ironically so did getting fired from my job—a lot more free time to go out in low risk ways.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
+1
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MsAnthropyThe Lady of Pain Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the RhythmThe City of FlowersRegistered Userregular
In other news, Chelsea Wolfe, one of my favorite singers, posted on the last day of pride Month about being Pan and using she / they pronouns. Wouldn’t say I was surprised about it, but knowing that someone whose work I like so much is also queer was great to find out.
In other news, Chelsea Wolfe, one of my favorite singers, posted on the last day of pride Month about being Pan and using she / they pronouns. Wouldn’t say I was surprised about it, but knowing that someone whose work I like so much is also queer was great to find out.
Oh, that's cool! I really love Chelsea Wolfe as well. I hadn't seen this but I live under a rock.
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ElldrenIs a woman dammitceterum censeoRegistered Userregular
I'm in Los Angeles finally, and so extremely pleased to be here, but I'm running up against an issue I hadn't considered back when I came out almost a year ago. Specifically, spending time with people I've come out to, but without having done anything physical about my transition. I'm exceedingly uncomfortable asking people to use she/her pronouns with me when I'm still presenting male. This hasn't been a problem up to now; everyone I was out to (except my family, which is a special case) was online.
I'm hoping to get on hormones pretty soon and goddammit I need to make myself get a voice coach, but until then I feel extremely awkward with some of my closest friends while hanging out with them in person. I'm having them use male pronouns and my original name for now, though I'm wondering if I'll get pushback on that from a friend I'm probably meeting up with this weekend.
Meanwhile lately I've been experiencing an extremely strong increase in my desire to begin my life as a girl. Which at least means I'm not experiencing as much self-doubt these days, but also I'm ready to just...be transitioned, dammit! Or at least midway through my transition.
Said every trans person ever, I suppose...
Yeah, the period where you have come to know yourself, but you are unable to be yourself is so tough. And I did the same thing re: name and pronouns until I was comfortable presenting femme. For me, having access to a process/support group helped a ton with letting me get comfortable. Ironically so did getting fired from my job—a lot more free time to go out in low risk ways.
Spoilers for depressive thoughts
I’ve been in this space for over a decade now and I really don’t know how to move out of it and the longer I stay the more unsure I am of what, if anything, I can or should do. I feel like I need guidance but I can’t find any around me and anything online (not that I don’t love y’all) feels too generic to really motivate me into action. I need help and I don’t know where to get it and not for lack of looking.
In other news, Chelsea Wolfe, one of my favorite singers, posted on the last day of pride Month about being Pan and using she / they pronouns. Wouldn’t say I was surprised about it, but knowing that someone whose work I like so much is also queer was great to find out.
This is the first time I've heard of Chelsea Wolfe, and I'm now listening to them for the first time. I think I'm going to be listening for the whole day now.
Maybe a really good QUILTBAG-friendly counsellor could help?
Hang in there Elldren **
It definitely would! I just need to find one accepting clients
Right now is a really impressive level of demand for counselors. If you happen to be in Louisiana then I can help out (not me for lack of self promotion through forums reasons). I *might* know people in other areas but it would surprise me if I knew someone in other states. Possible but low odds.
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MsAnthropyThe Lady of Pain Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the Rhythm, Breaks the RhythmThe City of FlowersRegistered Userregular
Maybe a really good QUILTBAG-friendly counsellor could help?
Hang in there Elldren **
It definitely would! I just need to find one accepting clients
If it weren’t for that whole you’d-have-to-quit-your-job thing, I’d offer to just fly you out here so you could talk to one of the awesome counselors I know.
In other news, Chelsea Wolfe, one of my favorite singers, posted on the last day of pride Month about being Pan and using she / they pronouns. Wouldn’t say I was surprised about it, but knowing that someone whose work I like so much is also queer was great to find out.
This is the first time I've heard of Chelsea Wolfe, and I'm now listening to them for the first time. I think I'm going to be listening for the whole day now.
I love their singing voice soooo much. She was one of the models I used with my singing teacher for specific skills I wanted to learn.
Maybe a really good QUILTBAG-friendly counsellor could help?
Hang in there Elldren **
It definitely would! I just need to find one accepting clients
Right now is a really impressive level of demand for counselors. If you happen to be in Louisiana then I can help out (not me for lack of self promotion through forums reasons). I *might* know people in other areas but it would surprise me if I knew someone in other states. Possible but low odds.
Yeah. I’m in Tennessee so like kind of nearby but not really. And the demand here far outstrips supply
fuck gendered marketing
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Hi I'm Vee!Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C ERegistered Userregular
edited July 2021
Today is the one year anniversary of me coming out as trans on the forums. I'd come out/talked to some friends about it beforehand, but I think this was the biggest 'announcement' that also coincided with me doing the same in a few other friend groups.
At the time I definitely hoped I'd be further along in my transition (as in, far along at all) by now, but circumstances with my father's health and my job situation in the second half of 2020 threw a wrench in the plans I had. Still, I think if I'd been able to follow that plan I'd be back in Tennessee instead of here in Los Angeles with a much better job, so I think ultimately it all worked out?
Here's hoping next year I have better news to report on the transition front! And if you have mixed feelings (as most of us do, I think) about celebrating the US today, y'all can just celebrate me instead! :P
Hi I'm Vee! on
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Zilla36021st Century. |She/Her|Trans* Woman In Aviators Firing A Bazooka. ⚛️Registered Userregular
Hi! I'm Poketpixie. I'm transfeminine, queer, attracted to femininity rather than gender, and I think I'm maybe demisexual. I'm a bit wishy washy when it comes to picking out a name for myself and I'm not in a safe space where I feel comfortable transitioning or even being out. Story of my life.
32 is NOT too late to start. I know it can feel like you've missed out on a lot of good stuff and it's easy to feel bitter about it but trust me when I say it is NOT too late. You have time.
Can I get some help from the Non-Binary crew here?
Which of these is correct/preferred?
I met a cute NB person at the BBQ tonight and they gave me their number.
I met a cute NB at the BBQ tonight and they gave me their number.
I met a cute enby at the BBQ tonight and they gave me their number.
Whatever their preference is though if you dont know yet I suppose all 3 work?
I have a podcast now. It's about video games and anime!Find it here.
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
I find the second one weird because it reads to me as "I met a cute nonbinary at the BBQ" and to me nonbinary is an adjective. It would be like saying "I met a cute transgender".
But then "enby" and "NB" sound the same when you're speaking so I guess it doesn't matter.
an extremely cynical part of me wants to suggest just saying “I met a cute person at the bbq(…)” cause like, whose business is it really, but I also very much understand reveling in queer euphoria and shouting your triumph from the rooftops
That feel when one day you put a shirt on and it doesn't fit quite right and there's something grabbing around the back of your neck and you realize that for the first time in your life your hair is long enough that it doesn't just come out of the top of your shirt with the rest of your head and now you gotta pull your hair up out of the hole so it can fall down your back.
Hi I'm Vee!Formerly VH; She/Her; Is an E X P E R I E N C ERegistered Userregular
Thanks everyone for your input, that was helpful!
So anyway I met a cute person at the BBQ last night and they turned out to be non-binary, so we had a nice chat where we bonded over gender stuff and then at the end of the night I got their number.
Doing pretty alright with transition and loving my life.
It's never too late.
Mostly just huntin' monsters.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
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UnbrokenEvaHIGH ON THE WIREBUT I WON'T TRIP ITRegistered Userregular
Hey speaking of coming out
guess who finally decided to bite the bullet and change her name on here so that I don't need to be so dang cautious about what I say ?
if I'd been smarter I would have saved a copy of my previous post when I edited it out, but I'm clearly not
anyways, while I'm still not sure if I'm genderfluid, bigender, or just trans and taking my time accepting it I've been increasingly leaning towards that last one since I last posted anything. I swear, you give that Eva girl an inch and she just keeps pushing.
I've got an appointment for mid-August to talk to a psychologist about getting a "letter of readiness" to start HRT, and then once I have that they've currently got a 3-6 month wait at the local gender clinic, but... maybe by the end of the year?
In the meantime I've started thinking about other ways I can try to be a bit more girly, latest thing has been looking for ideas for more ambiguous/gender neutral clothing the next time I go shopping for new clothes
also going to do laser hair removal at some point, though I have been told it will be more effective if I wait until after I start HRT because the hair will be softer?
Doing pretty alright with transition and loving my life.
It's never too late.
Same, it's never too late y'all
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Brovid Hasselsmof[Growling historic on the fury road]Registered Userregular
edited July 2021
The thing about thinking it's too late, and this is not a dig at anyone because I also felt like that for a long time before finally working things out at 33, is that okay, say you decide "It's too late to transition." Then what? You're just going to stop thinking about it and feeling the things you've been feeling, forever? Of course you're not. It doesn't go away. You're just dragging out the time spent fighting your own brain.
Have some of you experienced some benefits of transitioning later btw?
Like, maybe being taken more seriously by healthcare professionals and not being told you're "too young to decide"?
Or greater stability in your career and close relationships that will be helpful as a support system and that weren't there when you were younger?
Posts
I continue to progress slowly but steadily towards expressing my feminine side more freely. I've done some first hesitant attempts at voice training, worn nail polish for a couple of weeks, and continued to buy pretty skirts and tops.
I've also come out of the closet to one of my oldest friends! He was nice and supportive about it, though we haven't talked much about it since.
Something important that I'm slowly coming to terms with is the idea that it doesn't have to be an immediate switch to 100% female-presenting. I resisted the thought at first, but the more I think about it the more I feel like it might be fine to spend some time exploring the middle distance. Like, maybe I just tell some friends and/or colleagues that I trust that I'm working through some stuff regarding my gender identity and that I might be wearing some makeup and maybe some feminine clothes when we meet next, without having to go the full distance and have to do everything I can to fully "pass" right away.
Maybe not just yet though, I'm still not even on girl pills, but I think that's something I should start to seriously consider.
Turns out, I feel more comfortable as I've skewed butcher. Instead of feeling self-conscious about the hair on my arms poking up, I'm perfectly happy with my hairy arms swinging free. Walking around in some nice trousers is freeing (especially in this heat, goddamn tights). And I've never felt more like a woman.
I'm hoping to get on hormones pretty soon and goddammit I need to make myself get a voice coach, but until then I feel extremely awkward with some of my closest friends while hanging out with them in person. I'm having them use male pronouns and my original name for now, though I'm wondering if I'll get pushback on that from a friend I'm probably meeting up with this weekend.
Meanwhile lately I've been experiencing an extremely strong increase in my desire to begin my life as a girl. Which at least means I'm not experiencing as much self-doubt these days, but also I'm ready to just...be transitioned, dammit! Or at least midway through my transition.
Said every trans person ever, I suppose...
Yeah, the period where you have come to know yourself, but you are unable to be yourself is so tough. And I did the same thing re: name and pronouns until I was comfortable presenting femme. For me, having access to a process/support group helped a ton with letting me get comfortable. Ironically so did getting fired from my job—a lot more free time to go out in low risk ways.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
Oh, that's cool! I really love Chelsea Wolfe as well. I hadn't seen this but I live under a rock.
Spoilers for depressive thoughts
Hang in there Elldren **
It definitely would! I just need to find one accepting clients
This is the first time I've heard of Chelsea Wolfe, and I'm now listening to them for the first time. I think I'm going to be listening for the whole day now.
Right now is a really impressive level of demand for counselors. If you happen to be in Louisiana then I can help out (not me for lack of self promotion through forums reasons). I *might* know people in other areas but it would surprise me if I knew someone in other states. Possible but low odds.
If it weren’t for that whole you’d-have-to-quit-your-job thing, I’d offer to just fly you out here so you could talk to one of the awesome counselors I know.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
I love their singing voice soooo much. She was one of the models I used with my singing teacher for specific skills I wanted to learn.
"The only real politics I knew was that if a guy liked Hitler, I’d beat the stuffing out of him and that would be it." -- Jack Kirby
Yeah. I’m in Tennessee so like kind of nearby but not really. And the demand here far outstrips supply
At the time I definitely hoped I'd be further along in my transition (as in, far along at all) by now, but circumstances with my father's health and my job situation in the second half of 2020 threw a wrench in the plans I had. Still, I think if I'd been able to follow that plan I'd be back in Tennessee instead of here in Los Angeles with a much better job, so I think ultimately it all worked out?
Here's hoping next year I have better news to report on the transition front! And if you have mixed feelings (as most of us do, I think) about celebrating the US today, y'all can just celebrate me instead! :P
the great salmon rush will hit Spain.
Check out my site, the Bismuth Heart | My Twitter
"Legion" implies ground forces. Attack helicopters would be organized into squadrons.
32 is NOT too late to start. I know it can feel like you've missed out on a lot of good stuff and it's easy to feel bitter about it but trust me when I say it is NOT too late. You have time.
Which of these is correct/preferred?
I met a cute NB person at the BBQ tonight and they gave me their number.
I met a cute NB at the BBQ tonight and they gave me their number.
I met a cute enby at the BBQ tonight and they gave me their number.
yes
but also, hell yes
when in doubt, option A
they're all correct, really, but using the full terminology is typically wise when you just wanna be clear and such
also hell yes
Whatever their preference is though if you dont know yet I suppose all 3 work?
But then "enby" and "NB" sound the same when you're speaking so I guess it doesn't matter.
Neat!
So anyway I met a cute person at the BBQ last night and they turned out to be non-binary, so we had a nice chat where we bonded over gender stuff and then at the end of the night I got their number.
Doing pretty alright with transition and loving my life.
It's never too late.
XBL:Phenyhelm - 3DS:Phenyhelm
guess who finally decided to bite the bullet and change her name on here so that I don't need to be so dang cautious about what I say ?
if I'd been smarter I would have saved a copy of my previous post when I edited it out, but I'm clearly not
anyways, while I'm still not sure if I'm genderfluid, bigender, or just trans and taking my time accepting it I've been increasingly leaning towards that last one since I last posted anything. I swear, you give that Eva girl an inch and she just keeps pushing.
I've got an appointment for mid-August to talk to a psychologist about getting a "letter of readiness" to start HRT, and then once I have that they've currently got a 3-6 month wait at the local gender clinic, but... maybe by the end of the year?
In the meantime I've started thinking about other ways I can try to be a bit more girly, latest thing has been looking for ideas for more ambiguous/gender neutral clothing the next time I go shopping for new clothes
also going to do laser hair removal at some point, though I have been told it will be more effective if I wait until after I start HRT because the hair will be softer?
Laser might work *better* before HRT because for some people the hair lightens which makes laser less effective
Same, it's never too late y'all
Agree on the transition timeline discussion. The old cliche hold true; the best time was yesterday, the second best time is now
Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better
bit.ly/2XQM1ke
Have some of you experienced some benefits of transitioning later btw?
Like, maybe being taken more seriously by healthcare professionals and not being told you're "too young to decide"?
Or greater stability in your career and close relationships that will be helpful as a support system and that weren't there when you were younger?
He's still bad about pronouns, but hey, baby steps are still progress.